Crowned with Guilt (Remember the Reaper Book 1)

by S. K. Rose

  Well shit, not like I had plans to go, but now I’m definitely not going.

  “Hello? Did you hear me? Scott, girl! Scott, he’s on the football team and has muscles for daaaays.” I think I see little hearts floating from her eyes.

  “Meathead,” Chase mutters between fake coughs, and Beth shoots him a glare. Andrew just shakes his head, looking thoroughly unamused by the conversation of his sister’s love interest.

  “Queen Bitch alert,” Blossom hisses, propping herself up on the table.

  Lilah Crother, with a minion on each side, is striding over to us in a crop-top, black heels, and the tiniest skirt I’ve ever seen.

  “Chase, dear, could you be a doll and get me a cup of fruit? I’m famished.” He’s up off the bench and headed toward the cafeteria before the whole question has even left her mouth.

  “Just trying to watch my figure,” she says with a sickeningly sweet smile to me and Beth, before immediately zeroing in on her prey.

  “Hey, Drew, thanks again for the help on that math problem Friday.” She twirls a strand of blonde hair around her finger.

  Ugh. Drew? She’s using a nickname? The way it rolls out of her mouth makes me queasy.

  With a wave of her hand, the minions move to sit at a table close by and wait for their master to call.

  He shrugs. “It was no problem, Lilah.”

  The grin she gives in response reminds me of the Cheshire Cat.

  I officially hate her name coming out if his mouth so much more.

  She places a manicured hand on his forearm. “So, have you asked anyone to the Spring Fling yet? A few girls just insisted I find out.” She bats her clearly fake eyelashes at him repulsively.

  She wants to know for someone else? Someone else, my ass. Lying bitch.

  “Wasn’t really planning on going to the dance, honestly.” The first bell rings and he slings his backpack over his shoulder. Facing away from Lilah, he turns to ask, “Ready to head to class, Tess?”

  Over his shoulder, I watch Queen Bitch’s face flash through a rainbow of seething colors before returning to normal. Getting dismissed—for someone like me? A freak, a nobody in her eyes?

  Oh, I’ll cherish this moment always. I wish I had a scrapbook!

  “Okay, Drew, see you in Math” Her sweet tone sounds forced now. Just the thought of her cozying up to Andrew in class makes me feel sick all over again.

  Unsaid threats hover in the air as Lilah turns to give me one final look with narrowed eyes. “Bye, Reaper,” she snarls, and with a flip of her hair, she snaps for her minions and strides away.

  Looks like I might need to cut a bitch.

  I stand up quickly to go after her, but feel a hand on my arm stopping me. “Alrighty there, cowgirl, let’s calm down and get to class.” Beth chuckles as she loops her arm through mine and leads me away. Chase pops up out of nowhere to walk beside us, but staggers a few steps back when Beth and I turn to glare at him.

  “Whaaaaat? Can you blame me? She’s fuckin’ hot,” he says defensively.

  We shake our heads in disgust and continue walking, the boys trailing close behind.

  In English, I take my usual seat in the back, and Andrew his, right next to me. Jotting down some notes, I feel a vibration at my hip. Pulling out my new phone I see there’s a notification from the app Beth downloaded.

  Tapping it roughly, I see a message pop-up from “Drew19.”

  Drew19: Hi :)

  My eyes flutter in annoyance as I look over and watch him pretend to be busy—until he peeks over with a boyish smile, and nods to the phone in my hand.

  Bookbitch: What?

  Drew19: Bookbitch huh? I like it

  Bookbitch: STFU, your sister did it, help me cjhange it?

  Drew19: Nah, I like it ;)

  Bookbitch: You succk

  Bookbitch: GAH stupid fat fingerss, why is it so hard?!!!!

  Drew19: That’s what she said ;)

  Bookbitch: I will murder you in your sleep.

  Drew19: Or you can go to the Spring Fling with me.

  The phone slips through my fingers and drops to the floor with a loud smack on the tile.

  “Tessa, phones should be away. Scowl all you want at me, you know the rules.” Mrs. Thorn scolds as she watches me pick my (amazingly still intact) phone from the floor. I slip it into my jacket pocket and give Andrew an alarmed look. All I get is that adorable, lopsided grin before he returns his attention to Mrs. Thorn.

  Did he just invite me to the dance? After telling Queen Bitch he wasn’t going? Oh, Jesus, I sound like one of those horribly vapid teenagers don’t I?

  For the rest of the period I throw myself into reading the textbook, avoiding Andrew, and ignoring the bajillion questions I have surging through my mind.

  Rushing to put distance between Andrew and me, I’m out of the classroom as quick as possible and down the hallway. Before I know what’s happening I’m being pulled sideways into a dark empty classroom.

  “Are you avoiding me?” Andrew’s voice is barely above a whisper as his blazing green eyes bore into mine. When he gets this close, it’s hard to think straight. Something inside my chest thrashes, as though a slimy, face-sucking alien could burst out at any moment.

  I jut my chin in defiance and inwardly scream for my body to get it under control. “Nope, was just headed to class—that is, before I got fucking kidnapped,” I snap.

  “Man, that is one dirty mouth you have. Why is it that you swear so much?” He’s so close now I have to remind myself to breathe. He’s practically pinning me against the classroom wall. I hated him this close last night, and I hate it now—absolutely loathe him in this proximity.

  Yet, you don’t move a muscle, do you, Reaper?

  That’s right, I’m the Reaper.

  I destroy everything and everyone in my path, and for just that reason alone, I’ve no business at some hormone-infested dance. Nope.

  Why does he always smell of cinnamon? Maybe it’s flavored gum? Or mouthwash? Hmm I wonder if he tastes like cinnamon?

  It’s distracting as fuck is what it is, like my thoughts are wrapped around a bouncy ball that’s pinging around in my brain, changing direction in an instant.

  “Well, you must like it since you keep looking at this dirty mouth.” I smirk back and watch his eyes snap up from my lips where they had been lingering. The intensity I find there makes me clench my thighs tight and squirm.

  “Go to the dance with me.” It wasn’t even a question this time, but a demand. The cocky grin on his face is insufferable, and I want to smack it off.

  “No.” I cross my arms and stare back in defiance. He thinks he can tell me what to do?

  Uh, no.

  “Go to the dance with me.” He presses himself closer and some knee-jerk reaction makes me grab his arms. Whether to push him away or pull him closer—my body hasn’t quite figured that much out.

  Sweet mother of biceps, he feels so solid, and. . . Bad, bad thoughts!

  I pull back my hands quickly, as if his muscles have become white-hot.

  “No?” I try to sound firm, but it comes out as more of a question. One of his arms snakes around me, his palm finding a home against my lower back. I'm suddenly very appreciative of this thick leather jacket keeping him from my bare skin.

  “Go to the dance with me.”

  Searching for yesterday’s uncertainty in his eyes, I find nothing but determination and desire. I lose the ability to speak when he places his lips on the side of my jaw. Slowly he begins leaving a feverish trail of kisses along my jawline, and up the side of my neck.

  My eyes close and my head rests back against the wall. It’s like I’m in a dream. A dream that I never want to wake up from. I’ve felt lust before, but this fervent fire coursing through my veins is new and powerful. The fact that anyone can have this much of a physical effect on me is thrilling and yet. . . terrifying.

  “Tessa Kinsley, will you go to the dance with me?” He hums the question directly in my ear, as his war
m breath tickles my neck where he continues to land light kisses.

  “Okay,” I hiss, unable to resist him any longer. I can still feel every place his lips have pressed against my skin. His hand on my lower back is gripping me closer against his body. I can suddenly feel, without a doubt, that he’s as turned on as I am.

  Deciding to give my thoughts, and the rest of the world, the giant middle finger, I turn my face up and his mouth instantly finds mine as our complicated worlds crash together and become blissfully. . . uncomplicated.

  They are greedy kisses that proclaim how long we’ve been holding back. When his teeth tug on my bottom lip, a small moan escapes me. My fingers have snaked into his hair as I pull him even closer, grinding my hips in a way that causes him to hiss. My thoughts have thankfully gone silent, the worry and anger—it’s all just gone. The only thing I hear now is our synced hearts pounding erratically, and small sounds of pleasure.

  By some insane miracle, I’ve found myself in Andrew’s arms again, and nothing in my shitty life has felt so right. I’m transformed into that carefree girl who breathes in fantasy and challenges the impossible.

  Anger and guilt chewed me up and spit me out, but in this moment, I know that I’m finally strong enough to break that toxic cycle.

  Somewhere a bell rings and Andrew pulls away slowly, his slightly swollen lips and disheveled hair is impossibly sexy.

  He growls up at the clock ticking above us and then searches my eyes, looking to see if he went too far. I smile up at him and bite my lip, letting him know that we’re definitely not finished with this ‘conversation’. Happiness floods his eyes as well as something else, a deeper, more complex emotion that makes me want to fall to the floor and cry. An emotion I’ve constantly looked for in the eyes of my parents, friends, and flings, but have never found.

  Andrew kisses my temple softly and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. It gives me a strange yet familiar feeling of comfort.

  “Better get to class and start thinking about what you’re gonna wear.” With a wink and laughter in his eyes, he slips out of the classroom, leaving me to catch my breath.

  Chapter 38

  ─────

  Tessa

  In a lustful haze, I walk down the hallway toward a class that I’m going to be very late to. Sneaking into class, I tip-toe to my seat and drop down next to Beth.

  I cringe when I hear the teacher’s voice. “Well, how kind of you to grace us with your presence, Miss Kinsley. Those bonus problems on the board are no longer optional for you.”

  I nod, but groan inwardly. Fucking word problems are the bane of my existence.

  Beth’s green eyes drill into the side of my skull.

  “What happened?” she mouths when I finally look over. I shake my head and she surprisingly drops the matter—well, until the second we step out of class that is.

  “Oh, my God, you looked a hot mess walking in. I don’t think I’ve ever seen your cheeks flushed, either. What the heck happened, woman?! As your best and only friend, I demand you tell me!” Her dainty hands are gripping my arm trying to stop my momentum, but instead I’m just dragging her along with me.

  “Nothing, Blossom, calm your tits.” But my body betrays me as a grin steals across my lips and a blush creeps up my ears. I pull my hair over to try to hide them, but it’s too late.

  “Ohhh, my—you were with a guy!” she whisper-yells from behind me.

  I spin on my heels to face her. “How the fuck did you know that? And for God's sake, keep it down, loudmouth.”

  She slams her hand to her mouth, eyes wide. “And it was my brother?”

  Whatthefu? Is she able to read my mind?

  Beth started her accusations in a whisper, it’s a shame the words she chose to scream were “my brother.”

  Oh, look, people are staring now. Fantastic.

  Snatching up her purse, I drag her by it ’til we’re outside and away from nosy onlookers.

  “Blossom, how could you possibly even know that?” I gape at her in confusion.

  “You read books, I read people. You might say I read you like a book!” She chortles at her own joke with a flip of her pink hair.

  Stripping off my leather jacket, the gentle breeze cools my skin. I tuck a wild strand of hair behind my ear and flop down on the grass. Thank God, it’s study hall and I can just take a breather to process.

  “You know, I’m not surprised it happened.” Beth sits next to me in the grass looking thoughtful, but not upset like I feared.

  “You’re not?” I ask with a sigh, searching her face to extract how she really feels.

  “Yeah, well only those of us with eyes saw it coming.” Her goofy smile has me grinning in return. It quickly fades as reality crashes down around me.

  “Ugh, how did any of this happen? I didn't even know he was alive a few weeks ago, Beth.” I rub my temples and close my eyes.

  “It’s a little crazy, yes, but maybe you guys have this weird connection pulling you together, even when you were kids?”

  I give her a skeptical look, but realize I’d been wondering something along the same lines. Or maybe we’re just both batshit crazy.

  “I’ll never forget that day, when Andrew got hurt. I watched the way you held him. You tried to use your body as a shield to protect him even though the damage was already done. I could hear the sobs and see how your little body shook with sadness. You loved him so much and your heartbreak was obvious, even to another kid. And I think by that beautiful jeweled crown around your neck that he felt the same. He may not know it, but I think his subconscious does remember you. He’s always going to find his way back to you, memories or not.” Her eyes are fill with hope.

  I hurry to wipe away the fat tear rolling down my cheek. “That was really cheesy, Blossom,” I grumble, trying to hide the heart being worn on my sleeve.

  “I’m a romantic, what can I say?” She gives my hand a squeeze and lies back on the grass and pulls out her phone.

  “Also, since it’s my brother, you get out of having to tell me juicy details of what just happened. Nice loophole,” she murmurs.

  I can’t help but laugh. Flopping onto my back, I decide I won’t be able to hide it for long. I’ve gotta tell her before Andrew does, or she’ll freak out.

  “Your brother asked me to Spring Fling, and I said yes. But don’t make a big deal out of this,” I blurt out, looking up at the clouds in the sky, feeling a gross, happy smile crawl across my face.

  “I'm sorry, did you just say what I think you said?” I reluctantly look over to be met with crazy eyes as the giggles die on her lips.

  “Jesus, don’t make me say it again,” I beg.

  “You know what this means, don’t you?” She’s ferociously tearing up the grass around her and the serious look that’s stolen across her makes me nervous. I shake my head no, terrified of whatever she’ll say next.

  What have I done?

  “Tessa Kinsley, we are going dress shopping!” she screams excitedly as she throws up bits of grass like it’s confetti.

  Ah, fuck.

  As I pick pieces of grass and dirt out of my hair, Beth calls her mom, who I hear yelling excitedly through the phone’s speaker. As if I’m invisible, they begin discussing my “movie makeover”—what dress I should wear, what shoes I need, oh, and let’s not forget my hair and makeup! While they scheme, I form a gun with my hand and mime blowing my brains out. Much to my frustration, she simply scoots around on her ass, faces away, and continues plotting.

  After school, I slip into the backseat of Sparkles and keep my eyes trained out the window. As soon as the twins get in, I brave a look up and meet his gaze in the rearview mirror. We drive home in silence as I steal furtive glances toward the mirror, feeling like a lovestruck fool as I nervously fiddle with my fingers and replay our first kiss over and over.

  Once we get home, Beth kicks Andrew out of the car and takes her “rightful” place in the driver’s seat, glaring at me until I move shotgun.
r />   Before disappearing, Andrew throws up his hands and shoots me an apologetic smile, which is the full extent of his help.

  I grit my teeth, determined to get through this shopping spree alive and sane.

  After exactly twenty-two minutes in the first shop, my eyes began to glaze over.

  By the third shop, two hours deep, I wanted to curl up in a ball and die. She’s had me try on at least a million dresses that were all too huge or fluffy. The shoes? Each one seemed to have more glittery gemstones than the last. Several times I’ve had to grip my necklace, praying for it to give me strength.

  Feeling exhausted in store number four, I slide to the ground and look longingly out the window. What I don’t expect to see is a familiar face looking back at me. While Beth sifts through a giant rack of dresses, I slip outside.

  “You’ve been gone a long time, girl.” I can’t see his eyes behind the reflective sunglasses, but I can tell by the firm line of his mouth that Ace is not pleased. I’ve seen him horny, happy, drunk, and irritated, but never angry.

  “Yeah, I know, Ace. I moved, and it’s been just crazy. I haven’t really had a chance to come help you out and I’m sorry about that, really.” I know I’m rambling, but a statuesque, pissed off Ace is freaking me out.

  His response is monotone and mechanical, “To make it up to me, you will work every night this week, little butterfly. Friday and Saturday, I’ll be holding special late-night events and I expect you at Oasis by eleven sharp, no exceptions.” Even though he seems calm, I sense something dark lurking beneath the surface. He's too still, hasn’t even twitched a muscle from his current position, standing straight with his hands clasped together against his crisp clothes. Alarms start going off in my head.

  Something’s off, something's wrong. Just run, Tessa.

  I force myself to remain casual—flippant even. “Fine, whatever. I was planning to come by anyway, but I can’t do Saturday, Ace. Crazy as it sounds, I’m actually going to a school dance. Stupid, I know, bu—” I flinch as his hand whips toward my face with unexpected speed and agility. Instead of the expected blow to my face, my head is jerked back and my scalp screams with pain. The concrete passes before my eyes as I’m dragged by my hair into the small alley next to the boutique. When he rips his hand away from my head, I see strands of my dark hair still wrapped around his fingers.