Sin

by M. Malone

  I frowned. “Wait, I’m not a furry.” Oskar tapped me on my left shoulder, and I had to physically fight to not lean into Oskar’s bigger body. “Are you fucking laughing at me, mate?”

  Oskar nodded. “Yep. You deserve it. Who told you to go and get fucked up anyway? Leaving us out of the fun?”

  I shook his head. “I needed a drink. After what I fucked up, I needed to drink. I had a bottle, opened it, and started drinking.”

  “Just how much have you had to drink?” asked Noah.

  I forced my body forward, nearly catapulting myself off the couch, and grasped the empty scotch bottle on the floor next to me. “I had this.”

  Oskar nodded. “That was some prime scotch, man.” He shrugged. “You are going to have a hell of a hangover tomorrow morning, kid. What’s so bad that you had to crack open your birthday present early?”

  I shook my head. There was no way I was talking about this. “No. I know you. You’re going to take the piss. I can hear it now. I mean, look at you. I need help, and you lot are laughing at me? Fuck the lot of you.”

  Rafe chuckled low. “Right, kid. Something going on? Like Noah said, it’s not like you to drink. Not on a school night and all.”

  “I fucked up. That’s what happened. I fucked up, and I couldn’t help but touch her, and I just fucked the whole thing up.” I knew I sounded sloppy. I could hear my swords slurring. Bugger.

  Rafe gave me a bemused look, and somehow that did not make me feel calm in any way. “Okay, relax. What the happened? With who?”

  “Her… the girl we brought in yesterday, or rather, who brought herself in. She climbed into my bed and you know…”

  From my left Oskar offered, “Did she touch you in your special place, Matthias?”

  I might have been wasted, but I knew enough to throw a punch that landed in Oskar’s direction. It only slightly connected, but it was good enough to make me feel better. And what do you know? That settled my stomach right down. There was nothing like a little violence to settle the stomach. Better than ginger oil and crackers.

  “Stop it.” Noah’s command was low, tight, and brooked no arguments.

  Oskar grumbled. “The fucking kid hit me. I’m not supposed to hit him back?”

  Noah gave me a shake of the head. “No. Matthias is pretty wasted, so we don’t have any precautions if there is a fight. Do the three of you hear me?”

  I scowled. “Stop talking about me like I’m not here. I told you, I fucked everything up.”

  Rafe’s voice was soothing. “Kid, what are you talking about? You’re saying the girl that came in here with the bruises on her climbed into your bed?”

  I nodded. “Yup, in my room. I figured she was lost, but nope. She said we had a connection or something. But the point is I fucked it up. I don’t even know what to do during sex.”

  On my left, Oskar sat slack-jawed. “What?”

  I couldn’t even bother to answer him directly. “It was going so good and it felt… and I wanted… but then, I realized I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. So I just went—but that was stupid because I didn’t do it right.”

  Rafe held up his hands. “Wait. Okay, I’m trying to get my head wrapped around this. The girl from yesterday coming into your bed… you know, whatever. There’s no accounting for taste. But how do you get to the almost having sex and fucking that up part?”

  I was fighting to keep the truth inside. But apparently, liquor loosened my tongue. “I went down on her, and I’m pretty sure I did it wrong.”

  Oskar snorted. “You can’t do it wrong. Did she come?”

  I frowned. “I don’t know. I think so. There was shaking, and she was wet… really, really wet.”

  Rafe and Noah stared at him. “What do you mean you don’t know if you did it right? I mean, she seemed to be having fun, right?” Rafe asked.

  I frowned. “I think so. I d-don’t know. Fuck, my head. I think I need to start drinking coffee. Pissed isn’t really working for me.”

  “I agree with that. How is it you don’t know what to do during sex? It’s not like you’re a virgin,” Noah said incredulously.

  This was the part where I could shut everything down, back away very slowly and pretend this conversation never happened. Unfortunately, my legs didn’t fucking work. And as a matter of point, neither did my fucking arms. But, joy of joys, my tongue was working just fine. “I am. I’ve never had sex. So I guess that’s technically a virgin.”

  Rafe guffawed. “The hell you haven’t.”

  I shook my head. Back and forth. Back and forth. The motion made my head swim. Okay, no more shaking of the head. “Nope, not I, said the fly. And I still haven’t fucked because I screwed that up.” I chuckled. “That rhymes. And then I kicked her out of bed because she’s a spy.” I whispered that last part, but somehow it sounded so loud in my head.

  Rafe’s brows were down. “What do you mean, a spy?”

  I leaned over. Ooops. Shit… too far. Too far. My whole upper body fell on top of Rafe, and he shoved me back up into a sitting position. “She is, mate. Yeah, she’s a spy. She was sent to fuck with me.” I nodded sagely. Yup, she was. I knew it, and now my brothers knew it too. “She was sent here by the Family. She’s pretending, and she tasted so good, and I really, really wanted to fuck her. But not in a sleazy way… I just really needed her, you know?”

  Rafe blinked. Okay, it was not the response I was asking for. He turned to Oskar for solidarity. The blond German still sat there staring at me. Noah. Noah would offer sage advice. But nope, he was also doing the open-mouthed guppy thing.

  “Oi, what the fuck is the matter with you three?”

  Rafe snapped out of it first. “You’re a fucking virgin?”

  “Shit. Did I stutter? Yeah, I’ve never had sex. Where I grew up, sex was the devil. So now I don’t know what to do. God.” I leaned toward Rafe again, and this time Rafe put a hand on my shoulder to keep me upright. “Do you think she’s the devil? She must be. That’s why the Family sent her for me, because they knew I’m one of the demons from hell. They sent her to claim me.”

  Finally, Oskar snapped out of it and let out an explosive guffaw. “Look, you’re blasted, so we’ll wait for you to sober up to ask about this spy nonsense. But can we get back to the important shit? You’re a fucking virgin?”

  I scowled. “Shout it from the rooftops, why don’t you? You’re supposed to be helping me. I thought you guys were my brothers.”

  Rafe nodded. “Yeah, we are. And that’s why we’re going to give you shit for this.”

  Matthias

  Rafe and Noah exchanged glances.

  “Okay, so what happened?” Rafe’s voice was calm, reassuring. I glanced at him. Lately, something had changed between us. Rafe wasn’t so contentious, and I wanted to kill him less and less every day. So yay for progress.

  “With the girl?”

  Rafe nodded. “Yeah, keep it simple. Leave out the Tigger and other random-spy shit. We’ll figure that out when you’re sober, because right now you’re not making any fucking sense.”

  I frowned. Yes, that part I could do. The rest of it—I was still trying to force my brain into analytical mode to assess it all, to try and find the truth of what was going on. But maybe that truth was better kept hidden, at least for the time being. “Okay, so I saw her in medical bay, and I don’t know… There was just something about her. You know. Like she’s innocent, right?”

  Rafe nodded. A slight smirk touched his lips. “Yeah, been there.”

  I nodded. “You know, I couldn’t help it. I just wanted to be near her. I don’t understand.”

  Oskar made that chuffing sound again. “It’s okay. I’ll explain all the things to you. When a boy likes a girl, sometimes his body reacts.” The German said it slowly as if I were deaf and dumb.

  “Fuck off, you wanker. I’ve probably seen more sex in my life than you have. It’s what happens when your mom is a slag.” Shit. Stop fucking talking. Right now. The monster jerked against his
chains as if he were trying to claw his way into my brain to take over the controls. Loose lips get people killed, asshole.

  Oskar frowned. “What?”

  I shook my head and turned my attention back to Rafe. “Yeah, so… I like her. I don’t know why. It’s not like I know her. But she seemed good, like she didn’t deserve what happened to her.” Little had I known that she was the ghost of my past who came to haunt me. “I just wanted to be near her, I guess.”

  Rafe nodded. “Yeah, okay, what happened next?”

  “I don’t know. Later that night, I was in bed. You know, trying to sleep. Not that that happens often. I was mostly just waiting for another proximity alarm.”

  Rafe’s brow snapped down. “Why were you waiting for another proximity alarm? I thought the hack was random?”

  There I went with my mouth again. Lock it down boy. You’re going to get caught. “It was, but I have to be ready just in case.”

  Rafe nodded. “Okay, what next?”

  I could feel my skin flushing and heating, the crimson running up my neck through my veins, making my face feel hot and flushed. “She knocked on my door. I thought it was one of you, so I just told her to come in. God, she looked so tiny, you know, like she needed protection? She said she didn’t want to be alone and I—”

  “The little soldier stood at attention?” Oskar offered helpfully.

  “Shut it. I don’t know what happened. She climbed into bed next to me and wanted to cuddle. I’m not exactly a cuddler.”

  Rafe’s chuckle was low. “You don’t say.”

  “I didn’t mean to touch her. I didn’t. But she just felt so good and then she kissed me.” I raised my gaze to meet Rafe’s. “What the fuck is that about? Who in their right mind kisses me?”

  There was something in Rafe’s expression that went soft. Was that pity? No one ever pitied me. I didn’t need pity. I wasn’t someone to be pitied. I was something to be feared.

  “And anyway, I fought. I think I did, anyway. Then she kissed me again and then the next time she kissed me, I just—I don’t know. Something snapped. Next thing I knew she was ripping off my shirt, mate. And I got her clothes off and… God, she has the best fucking nipples.”

  Rafe put up a hand. “Okay, fair enough, yes. The hot girl had great nipples. I hear you so stop shouting.”

  I frowned. “I’m not shouting.”

  Rafe chuckled. “Yes, you are.”

  I tried to modulate my voice. “Yeah, all right, mate. Anyway, she tasted so good. I mean, why do they taste so good? Is that what all women taste like?”

  Rafe smiled. “No, they don’t all taste that good.”

  I frowned. “How am I supposed to know who tastes good and who doesn’t?” I didn’t realize I’d asked it out loud until Rafe chuckled.

  “You just find the one that tastes good to you.”

  I frowned but nodded. Gemma tasted good to me. No, you nitwit. She is a spy. Remember? She’s pretending to be Gigi. Yes, Gigi. The girl he’d loved. But still, as his brain tried to make the connection, he didn’t see it. She wasn’t Gigi. But even if she’s not… even if she’s just there to fuck with you, she sure did taste good. Wasn’t that the truth?

  Rafe snapped his fingers in front of my face.

  “Come on, what next?”

  “Uh, I don’t know. We were kissing, and I was just licking, and sucking, and—”

  Oskar groaned. “I can’t keep this up. I’m gonna get a boner.”

  Rafe muttered under his breath. “It doesn’t take much for you.”

  I spoke again. “And I went down on her.”

  Rafe frowned. “Okay, this is the part that’s important. Did she like it?”

  I frowned. “Yeah.” I remembered the way she bucked against me, holding my head in position, raising her hips to meet my tongue. Moaning. Begging. Her little whispers of, ‘Please don’t stop. Please don’t stop. Please don’t fucking stop.’ I cleared my throat. “Yeah. She liked it.”

  Oskar offered up an indelicate question. “What my man here is trying to ask you is did she get off or not?”

  “Yeah, I think so.”

  Rafe sighed. “Okay, maybe that’s beside the point. So the whole problem is that you have no idea what to do?”

  I shook my head. “No, no. After all the thrashing, moaning, I mean, I’ve seen enough porn to know what to do, but I was afraid of hurting her. And I’ve never done it before, so I didn’t want to fuck it all up, you know.”

  Rafe nodded. “Okay, so basically, you want to figure out the whole sex thing, without the commentary.” He threw Oskar a knowing look.

  Oskar held up his hands. “What did I do?”

  Rafe sighed. “Okay, look, we can help. There’s this place.”

  I frowned. “No, no hookers.” I swallowed hard. “It’s just not happening.”

  Rafe’s eyes went wide as his brows popped. “No, it’s not like that. It’s a sex club. No one’s gonna touch you. You don’t have to touch anyone, but you will learn a thing or two.”

  Oskar sat up straight. “First, I want to know why Assassin Boy here knows about this place and I don’t. And second of all, no one’s leaving me behind. When do we leave for this little field trip?”

  Noah pushed away from the wall. “I’m glad you two have this in hand. Lucia would kill me if I went anywhere like that. You know how she gets.”

  Rafe laughed. “You mean you know how you get. Lucia will be curious. Anyone who looks at her wrong, hell, you’re going to leave a trail of bodies. And then we won’t be invited back, so you’re clearly not allowed to come to the club.”

  At that moment, Diana walked in. “Did someone say we’re going to a club? I want to go.”

  Rafe dropped his head into his hands. “Babe, no. It’s not that kind of club.”

  She shrugged. “I don’t care what kind of club it is. I want to come.”

  He lifted his gaze to hers. “Like Noah, I probably won’t be held responsible for what I do if someone touches you at a sex club.”

  “Oh, I really want to go now. I’ve always wanted to go to one.”

  Rafe rolled his eyes to the heavens, and for once I felt the tension in my shoulders ease. It was rare to see Rafe flustered.

  “Fine, you can come. Kid, are you in?”

  Even though there was a part of me that didn’t completely trust Gemma, at some point I would need some practical-application knowledge, and maybe the club was just the right place to go. “Yeah, I guess I’m in, mate.”

  14

  Gemma

  I looked up at the sound of the door opening. This safe house belonged to ORUS so there was little chance anyone was breaking in, but years of training left me on guard for anything. When Ian’s face appeared in the doorway, I relaxed but only slightly.

  He didn’t look pleased. Sure enough, he started in with the questions right away.

  “Okay, explain what happened yesterday. How are you so sure you were made?”

  I clutched my arms, suddenly cold as ice. Matthias’s face appeared in my mind. He’d been so vibrant one moment, devouring my mouth like it held the nectar of the gods, and then completely vacant the next. I could have been a complete stranger with the way he’d looked at me.

  Maybe that was how he was. The Matt from my childhood hadn’t been like that, so the toy had to be a coincidence. He’d probably gotten it from an ex-girlfriend who’d dumped him or something. It could explain why he’d gotten so pissy that I’d asked about it. But even as I had the thought, I knew. I knew it was the same toy I’d fallen asleep with each night as a child. That thing had once been my life and just as precious to me as a real sibling. When I’d woken after being fished out of the Thames that night, I’d mourned for it so long that Andromeda had been concerned for me.

  “Matthias. He kept insisting I was a spy,” I said.

  Ian moved around the couch and perched on the arm, all the while watching me carefully. “Now how exactly did you know him? The guy is a ghost. Untouchable.
”

  “He saved my life once. I thought he’d died as a result. But I guess he just became ORUS.”

  Ian appeared to be speechless.

  “Everyone comes from somewhere. Even ghosts. I should know.” I smiled grimly, thinking of all the tech wizardry Andromeda must have had to pull off to invent a new identity for a random girl she found floating in the river one night. But somehow she’d done it. She’d taken me to America and created a whole new identity for me as Gemma Boyd.

  “That’s true but this kid is different. You have to understand the stories floating around about him. He’s ORUS legend now, just as much for how he left ORUS as for how he joined. We might be able to use your connection to get you back in.”

  “That’s madness, and you know it.” I settled back on the couch, sinking into the cushions. ORUS safe houses weren’t flashy for obvious reasons, but they were always comfortable and well-tended inside. They took care of their weapons, I thought bitterly. Suddenly I was more interested than ever in how Matthias had managed to escape.

  “How did he get out of ORUS?”

  Ian crossed his arms. “This was about five years ago. The timeline is a little uncertain. I wasn’t Orion then, obviously. Just another agent working my way up the ranks. There were a few agents that were rising fast, and everyone had their eye on them: Leo and Perseus.” He glanced over at me.

  I thought back. He’d taken his shirt off in front of me, but I’d been far more interested in the ink covering his chest than looking for ORUS markings at the time. My face flamed with the knowledge. Luckily Ian was too absorbed in his story to notice.

  “Anyway, Perseus was known as Orion’s personal hacker. It was unheard of for an agent so young to get anywhere near the big boss. Others in the agency weren’t happy about it, but no one could touch that kid when it came to skill level. If anyone had dared to challenge him, he could have wiped their entire existence away just as easily as erasing a chalkboard. No one wanted to fuck with that kid.”