Bloodspell

by Amalie Howard

  There it was again, the unfailing tieback to Charla. It made it seem as if their entire conversation had never even happened. Victoria nodded tightly, her throat dry. She was trying to force herself to not look at Christian. But unable to help herself, her eyes turned to him. Sensing her gaze, their eyes connected in an infinite split-second, but then he looked away and kept walking. Victoria felt like he had punched her in the stomach. She almost didn't hear the quiet voice beside her say, "I told you he was empty." She didn't even notice when Angie walked away.

  Victoria didn't know how long she stayed on the steps, her eyes burning from the sting of unshed tears. It felt like she was crying about everything lately! After days of not even seeing him at rehearsal, she didn't know what she had expected, but it certainly wasn't him looking coldly through her as if she didn't exist. She should have known better, and trusted her instincts where he was concerned!

  She ran to her car, stopped to get gas, and started on the three-hour trip, turning up the music as loud as she could stand and letting it drown out her pathetic thoughts. Leto mewed unhappily in his carrier from the chaos but she ignored his complaints, trying to think about anything but him.

  She focused on the conversation she'd had with Angie and her uncanny ability to see people's "colors." When Angie had started talking about the colors, she had been genuinely animated and had looked happy! Still, Victoria was worried. They weren't really friends, and it wasn't like they were going to be now that Angie knew what she knew. Perhaps that was what the amulet sensed when it had grown hot, or maybe the heat had been a manifestation of her own fear. Either way, she knew she would have to be more careful around her.

  Despite her efforts, her thoughts inevitably wound their way back to Christian. Victoria wondered what Angie had meant when she had said that he was "colorless." Was that a metaphor of some sort indicating that he was boring, or worse, incapable of being a nice human being? It had sounded like that, especially when she had said that he was empty.

  Either way, despite his recent coldness, colorless would have been the last word that Victoria would have used to describe him. No matter what she did or how hard she tried to push him from her mind, she couldn't stop thinking about him. She wanted to hate him, to not think about the feel of his lips on hers or his gentleness when she'd cried about her parents or his inimitable grace with the violin. After two weeks, she thought her feelings would have diminished, but they had only gotten stronger. She needed to banish Christian Devereux from her head! He had obviously banished her from his.

  Victoria pulled into Holly's driveway, and immediately felt better, the weight of everything from the past few weeks falling off her shoulders. Holly raced from the house and embraced her. Their reunion was delirious and they talked for hours. Holly filled Victoria in on all the local gossip. Victoria told Holly about Christian, except for certain pertinent details, and had a good cry, getting it out of her system. A dose of Holly was exactly what she'd needed.

  The time went by quickly, and after just a couple days, Victoria was well rested. She'd taken long walks, enjoying the peace and quiet, and spent time exploring her abilities in more detail. After her unexpected run-in with Angie, Victoria realized that they only way she could protect herself from harm would be to learn about her gifts and be prepared to use them.

  Leto was patient, teaching her simple spells and the words that were used to give the spells form and dimension. She discovered that as a familiar, he could not perform magic on his own, but he was a veritable treasure trove of magical lore. Under his tutelage, she learned quickly.

  Try this one, he told her. Muto capillus. It's a glamour.

  "Muto capillus," she said, and watched as her hair shimmered into a pale blonde. "That's amazing! How do I go back to normal?"

  Recurro capillus.

  Victoria parroted his words and her hair reassumed its natural color. She frowned thoughtfully.

  "But why do I need the words, Leto? I've performed magic without them. If I think hard enough I can do a glamour without any words." She stared at him intently and watched as his silver-colored fur metamorphosed into black and white polka dots. "See?"

  You're not like most witches, Victoria. Most others have to use words to shape the magic or it won't respond. Even though your own magic is not defined by words, they can still help to increase the potency of your spells.

  "That's good to know."

  Wonderful. Now change me back.

  The magic came easily to Victoria, and it made her feel better than she had in weeks. It felt good knowing that she was learning to control the strange and sometimes overwhelming power inside of her. She couldn't change who she was, but if she learned enough, maybe one day, she'd be able to control the demands of the blood and not end up like her ancestor, Brigid. Despite her fear, that had been the tipping point—Victoria vowed that she would never become a slave to the blood.

  The amulet, too, felt as if it were harmonized to her every feeling, like a mood ring she'd worn when she was younger. She was fascinated by its unerring ability to warn against danger, and as much as she tried to outwit it, she found that it always flared hot whenever she endangered herself. Each time she mastered a new spell, the amulet warmed with approval.

  It was heady and frightening at the same time. She became adept at moving things with a simple command, "effero," and bending others to her will, which Leto definitely did not like, especially when she made him walk into the ice-cold spring in the back yard. He retaliated with a vicious swipe of his paw on her leg, which healed on its own at an unspoken command, "curo," from her mind.

  Shall we try teleporting? Leto asked her one afternoon while Holly was out grocery shopping.

  "Didn't you say it was really difficult? As in things-can-go-terribly-wrong difficult?" Victoria said, frowning.

  It's an important spell. I'd rather you get hurt now than later.

  She backed away warily. "Hurt? I don't—"

  Leto hissed in her direction. See that tree over there near the spring? Clear your mind and focus on a spot near it. Say "transeo" when you are ready. The destination must be clear.

  Victoria scowled at his tone but took a deep breath and focused on the spot he'd said, envisioning it clearly in her head.

  "Transeo!"

  It felt like everything was being sucked into her belly button and then all of a sudden she was standing near the tree, the wind knocked out of her. Momentarily disoriented, she felt exhilarated with success until pain jackhammered through her leg. She looked down. A fallen branch skewered her calf, blood spurting everywhere. Lightheaded, she crumpled to the dirt, and gingerly tugged it from her leg.

  "Curo," she gritted through clenched teeth, and watched as the wound healed before her eyes.

  That was relatively painless, Leto said. Let's try it again when you're ready.

  Victoria made a choked noise. "Relatively painless? ld You're a sadist, Leto."

  At least you didn't get fused to the tree trunk. Victoria blanched. Trust me, I've seen far worse.

  After some practice, Victoria grew to understand the nuances needed to successfully teleport. Leto explained it succinctly.

  It's physics. Mass and matter displacement, he thought to her. Certain materials will give to support a teleported object. In other cases, the reverse is true. With the tree branch, blood and tissue gave.

  Victoria learned quickly, moving inanimate and animate things alike, seemingly without effort, and a few times, she'd almost slipped up with Holly.

  Once, Holly walked into the kitchen when Victoria was pouring herself a cup of coffee, only from the other side of the room. She'd coughed loudly to distract Holly, and set the cup down gently.

  Later that same night in her room, Leto confided something she'd wondered herself.

  I think she knows the truth of what we are. Victoria was startled. Of what we are?

  His green eyes glittered. I have something to confess. I also belonged to your grandmother. Victoria stared at hi
m, frowning.

  But that would make you over eighty years old! How long do familiars live? You could be five thousand years old for all I know, no wonder you're so grumpy half the time, she said with a grin.

  Leto paused giving her a sidelong glance. Not that old. But back to the start of the conversation, I think Holly knew about Emmeline.

  Should we ask her?

  Perhaps you can look first, he said pointedly.

  "Leto, I can't just go into her head! She's family and that's intruding! I do have a few principles," Victoria said aloud. "While we're on the subject, there has to be rules. What's to stop me from controlling someone's mind completely?"

  Nothing. You could if you so wished, Leto said, nonchalant.

  Her eyes flicked to his. "Then that makes me just like Brigid," she said. Her eyes remained on Leto. I will not use this power at the expense of everything I cherish and love, against what I know is right. I won't.

  Leto's expression did not change as she left the room but she could sense something like disappointment radiating from his thoughts. It puzzled her. Did he want her to control people? To use her powers in a way that went against everything good inside of her?

  For the first time, Victoria understood that the gray area between right and wrong had become larger, and more indistinct. Things, once simple, were more complicated. Black and white blurred into each other, and with this strange power of hers, intent wouldn't always be enough, it could always be twisted.

  Was she strong enough? Or would she succumb to the dark side of her power that terrified her? Would she become Brigid? She could still feel the weight of Leto's thoughts pressing in upon her. Victoria fled from his presence but his thoughts still followed.

  Don't be afraid of who you are. You cannot hope to control your power if you do not understand it and who you are. You must protect yourself at all costs, even against those you ... love. He hesitated lost for a moment, and Victoria felt his thoughts flicker briefly into a strange nothingness before moving back to the consciousness she recognized. His words were hard. Love is a breeding ground for betrayal. Guard against it.

  Unable to bear any more, she closed her mind to him.

  At dinner that night, she stared furtively at Holly, wondering how and whether she could broach the subject.

  "Darling, if you slice that chicken any more, you won't need to chew it." Victoria stared down at her plate and laughed at the pile of shredded food.

  "Sorry, just distracted about something."

  "What is it, dear?"

  "Aunt Holly, did you ... did my grandmother ever tell you anything about her?"

  "Like what?"

  "Things about her past? Who she was? Did you ever notice anything different or strange about her?"

  "Darling, is something wrong?" Holly looked concerned. "Why don't you just tell me what's bothering you? Did you find something of Emmeline's in your music box?"

  "I think my grandmother had secrets, a lot of secrets that she kept hidden, things like the music box and the amulet, and ... I was just wondering if you ... knew anything," she finished lamely.

  Victoria paused, maybe Leto was right, a flash of Holly's consciousness would be easier, and safer—No!—she would try to be more specific. "Did you ever see her do anything? Make things happen, you know, as if by magic?" She stared at her plate, flushed from saying it aloud. "Forget about it, it's nothing."

  The sound of Holly's laughter filled the room, and Victoria's head snapped up. "I was wondering when you'd get around to asking me about Emmeline's abilities." Holly stood and walked over to sit on the chair nearest Victoria, and grasped her hands in hers.

  "You knew? All this time and you never said anything?"

  "I couldn't. She made me promise, only until you came to me," Holly said with a sad smile. "I don't know everything, just what Emmeline told me. About what she was, and what you are. When she died ..." Holly choked, "she made me swear to always look out for you, and for Leto."

  "Leto?"

  "Yes, didn't he tell you?"

  Betrayed by those you love? she hissed mentally, pushing her savage feelings out toward Leto and feeling him recoil from their force. You knew! Was it another one of your tests? Was it? Her words thrust themselves into his mind like daggers. She could feel him blocking her but she tore past his defenses. You want me to be cruel, use my power to control ... to hurt! How does it feel? How does it feel?

  I was also bound, Victoria. I am sorry. Leto's words were gasps, and belatedly, Victoria realized that she was crushing him so terribly with the force of her own mind that he was barely conscious. She released him with a strangled cry. Holly reached for her automatically.

  "No," Victoria said in a hoarse voice. "Don't touch me. I'm monstrous."

  "Tori, darling, you are not," Holly said. "You have every right to be upset. It's human to be angry. But you must pull yourself in. You must control your anger—it is the one thing that you cannot afford to give in to." Holly held Victoria's shoulders firmly, her voice urgent. "Victoria? Do you understand?"

  "Yes." The blood. Victoria could feel it uncoiling like a giant snake within her, flexing ... testing the walls of her all-too fragile control of it. She heaved several breaths into her body, her fingers reaching for the amulet, hot against her chest. The word flashed into her brain.

  Soporo, she thought. Everything slowed and calmed. Her eyes caught Holly's and she managed a wan smile. "I'm okay now," she said, releasing her death grip on the amulet. Holly touched the pendant, thoughtful, before brushing a stray strand of hair out of Victoria's face.

  "Emmeline told me that you must never ever take off this amulet. She said that it is the only thing that can protect you when all else fails. It is the key to controlling your magic. She also told me that I must tell you not to underestimate those who would covet this power of yours."

  Victoria's stare was guarded. "So you know? What ... I am?"

  A gentle nod. "Yes."

  "I don't want this, any of this," Victoria whispered.

  "Oh my darling, not everyone wants what they are born with. One person's gift is another's curse. But you are who you are, Tori, and who you choose to become is entirely up to you."

  "Did you know all this, all along, when I was in the hospital?"

  "Yes ... no ... I did but ... no ..." Holly stopped, confused. Leto came to her aid.

  She knew, but only when you asked about Emmeline's secrets was she able to remember, he explained.

  A spell?

  Yes, to protect not just you, but also Holly. Emmeline was very ... protective of both of you. Leto's thoughts felt weak, and Victoria cringed, knowing how terribly she'd hurt him. It was so easy to let power become undermined by emotions—far too easy.

  To Holly, she said, "Leto says it was a spell to protect us." To Leto, she sent her naked regret and as if that wasn't enough, she followed it with the words.

  I'm so sorry, Leto. Forgive me.

  Forgiven, child.

  Victoria turned to Holly, unable to find the words to say to this wonderful, generous, amazing woman who'd looked after her so selflessly, and carried such a terrible burden of knowledge for the sake of her friend's granddaughter. Overwhelmed, she hugged Holly tightly.

  "Will you tell me about her?"

  Holly smiled. "I thought you'd never ask."

  WHEN VICTORIA RETURNED to Windsor, it was just after seven o'clock. She had a message on her answering machine from Tony at the Black Dog checking to see if she could work a short shift that night. She wasn't tired so she unpacked her overnight bag, got right back into the Mini and headed down Main Street to the Dog. She also wanted something mundane to take her mind off of everything she'd just learned about Holly, her grandmother, and her own powers. She wanted normal for a couple hours, and then she'd allow herself to dissect it into manageable pieces.

  For a Monday, the place was packed. Students from both Windsor and Harland frequented the Black Dog, and it wasn't a surprise that there weren't many free se
ats in the place. She waved to Charla, Angie, and several of their friends as she walked to the bar. The time passed quickly and the bar was still pumping at midnight with no signs of slowing down. A familiar face drew her attention and she smiled.

  "Hi Gabriel, what can I get you?" she said.

  "Sara's twenty-one! What's her drink?" Gabriel said, grinning.

  It had become an in-house Black Dog tradition during the last few weeks to have Victoria Warrick, bartender extraordinaire, pick out the special birthday drink for anyone celebrating a birthday at the Black Dog. The trick was to predict their choice of drink, and given her abilities, she was unfailingly perfect at it. She rationalized her brief intrusion in their minds with the excuse that they were going to order the drink anyway, so she wasn't really prying, and it was just a harmless game.

  Victoria didn't hesitate to place a Sex-on-the-Beach cocktail on the bar, and everyone dissolved into laughter, including Gabriel. It wouldn't have been so funny if Sara didn't run the "Abstinence Until Marriage" coalition at Harland. Out of the corner of her eye, Victoria caught Angie's knowing smile but she ignored it despite her immediate unease. Sara accepted both the drink and the jibes with good humor.

  "If I'm going to wait, I may as well enjoy the drink, right?" Sara said with a laugh. "Thanks, Tori!"

  Personally Victoria didn't think that Sara was as crazy as most of the other girls seemed to think she was—she hadn't done "the deed" either. Ever since Brett, she had a healthy fear of losing control, and frankly, sex wasn't something that interested her. A fleeting vision of Christian came to her, and she felt her ears grow hot. Well, maybe it interested her a little. Or not! She banished the traitorous thought with a fierce frown. Not with him anyway, Christian Devereux meant nothing to her.

  "Whatever it is, I don't think it has much time to live," said a dry voice.

  "What?" Victoria said.

  "Whatever you're glowering at like it's the devil," Gabriel said.