by Dianna Love
“Kasey?” He pushed open the door. Balled up tissues littered the floor and comforter. He noticed a couple of V8 juice cans in the trash. Not even a V8 could straighten you out after the kind of loss she had suffered. He’d been there. He wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone. Apparently this was where she’d spent the bulk of her time, but she wasn’t here.
Her car was outside. She had to be somewhere close by.
Maybe she’s driving Nick’s T-Bird.
Memories of how much Nick had loved that car clouded his thoughts as he left the house and walked across the pasture to the barn. Nick and Kasey used to cruise around, and she’d mouth those famous words, I love you, like Suzanne Somers in the movie American Graffiti.
Von unlatched the pole gate that led to the big red barn. The antique T-Bird was parked in a garage next to it, untouched.
He walked over to the barn door and slid it wide. Light flooded the vast space. Dust danced in the sunrays and thick cobwebs shimmered in the sunlight.
A rhythmic thump echoed through the large building.
“Hello?” No one answered, but the thumping picked up pace.
Inside he caught a glimpse of Dutch sprawled beneath the ladder that led to the loft. He whimpered as Von got closer, but didn’t get up.
“Are you okay, buddy?” He patted his leg. Dutch stood, but wouldn’t leave the ladder. “What’s the matter boy?”
He lifted his nose in the air and let out a long low howl like a beagle howl.
“What are you doing out here?” The dog pushed his nose under Von’s hand. “Where’s Kasey?”
Dutch shook his head, his heavy ears flopping, and yawned.
Von stooped next to the dog and scanned the barn. “Know where Kasey is?” Dutch was over ten years old now, his muzzle gray. He didn’t get around as quickly as he once had, but he was smarter than some men Von knew. Dutch seemed to point his nose up the ladder to the loft.
“Kasey.” Von climbed the ladder to the loft. It was dark with the exception of a few slivers of light peeking through loose boards. Square bales filled the space. Alfalfa. He recognized the smell.
He swished his hand overhead, grabbed for the string to the bulb that he knew was there and tugged. In the dull yellow glow, he noticed a dark lump on top of a stack of hay bales.
He raced to the end of the barn.
As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he thought his heart might break.
There was Kasey, lying across the hay bales, dressed in Nick’s coveralls, which seemed to swallow her.
Her dirty bare feet hung from the pant legs. She had tissues wadded in one hand and Nick’s old farm hat held to her chest with the other. In the crook of her arm, she held Jake’s stuffed horse. Nick’s first gift to his son, bought on the day the child was born and named after him. Their first day as a family. Jake had dragged that horse around until the time he could walk, then he’d gotten Bubba Bear and that ratty horse was put out to pasture in the toy box.
Von climbed the sturdy stacked squares.
“Kasey.”
She didn’t stir.
“Hey, kiddo, are you okay?” He wondered how long she’d been up here.
Fear sparked through him. In the extra-large coveralls, he couldn’t see if she was breathing. He reached out and rested his hand on her side.
“Kasey, can you hear me?” He nudged her shoulder.
She took in a breath. Thank goodness. Relieved, he scooted closer.
“It’s me, Von.”
Her eyelids fluttered.
He leaned in closer and lowered his voice. “Hey. Talk to me.”
She opened her eyes and let out a soft sigh.
He stretched out next to her so they were eye to eye, resting his head on his bent forearm. “You okay?”
“What do you think?” She spoke in a broken whisper.
“I think you’re hurting.”
She nodded. “You must think I’m cracking up, wearing his clothes.” She lifted her coverall-cloaked arm. Her hand didn’t even peek out the end of the sleeve.
Von pushed her bangs away from her damp cheeks. He shook his head. “No. I wouldn’t judge. I’ve been right where you are. We all mourn and heal in our own ways.”
“I’ll never heal.”
He stroked her back. “I know it feels that way.”
She sniffed and shifted her arm up under her head, wiping her tears on the big sleeve of the coveralls.
“I’m not going to tell you that things will be all right. That was the last thing I wanted to hear when I lost Deidre.”
Kasey nodded.
“You just have to take things a day at a time. The truth is, you’ll never be the same. But that’s okay, too.”
Kasey looked away. “There was another shooting on Route 58 last night. Did you know?”
“I heard. I’m checking it out,” he said.
“It’s like the third or fourth time. Sprays of bullets, no injuries,” Kasey said. “What are the odds that, with all those incidents, Nick would be the one to get killed?”
He didn’t tell her that Nick’s shooting didn’t fit the random pattern, or type of gun. A shotgun was used in the other shootings. The casings found by Nick’s truck near the accident site were from a small caliber bullet. The police had confirmed that earlier, but that information wasn’t something Kasey needed to hear right now.
Von shook his head. “I don’t know. Sometimes there aren’t any good answers.”
“It’s not fair.”
“I know.”
“Nick was a good man. He didn’t deserve to die. I can’t live without him.” Kasey sniffled. She buried her face in her hands, then lifted her eyes to meet Von’s. “I need him. He’d help me find Jake. Everybody thinks I’m crazy to believe Jake’s still out there. He has to be. I can’t live this way.”
“You can.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Come here, kiddo.” He hugged her close.
She came undone in his arms, sobbing. It broke his heart to see her so sad, to know that Nick wouldn’t be back. Nothing he could say could change that. He held her and after a long moment, she quieted a little. “You better?”
She nodded against his shoulder.
“I need to call Riley and let her know you’re alive. She was worried about you.”
“Sorry.”
“We understand. Can you call her?” Kasey look whipped. She was dirty and sweaty. Von tipped her nose with his knuckle. “It would mean more if the call came from you.”
Kasey looked down. “I’ll call her.”
“Thanks.”
Von descended the ladder first, then spotted Kasey as she climbed down in the oversized coveralls. They walked out of the barn, the extra long pants swishing with each step she took. Dutch followed behind them.
Kasey wrapped her arms around Von’s arm and rested her head against it as they walked.
Chapter Nine
Kasey had other issues to worry about in addition to finding Jake. Gracious volunteers had been running the farm, but they were only scheduled to help for two more weeks. Kasey wasn’t prepared to take care of the Rocking R by herself. It was time to find a farm manager, but she had no idea where to start. Pushing that thought aside, she decided to tackle something she knew how to manage.
She walked outside to the RV to get her camera bag. When she pulled her camera out, Cody Tuggle’s card fluttered to the ground. She picked it up, her heart clenching when she thought of how kind he had been to come to Nick’s funeral and offer his condolences.
She rubbed the raised letters on the card, thinking about the offer to photograph his tour. Maybe joining the tour would be a good escape while the authorities continued their work looking for Jake. She’d heard that the pace on a music tour was so fast that she’d hardly be able to remember what town she was waking up in each day.
That sounds perfect
The project would keep her name out there while she took some time to sort out her life, too. Down
time was the kiss of death for a freelancer.
Am I really considering this?
She went inside and picked up the phone. Then she put it back down and picked it up four times before dialing Cody Tuggle’s number.
The phone rang on the other end. She tensed, almost chickening out, but he answered on the first ring.
“Yeah-lo.” His deep voice vibrated.
“Hi,” she said, her mouth dry. “Hi, Cody. It’s Kasey.”
“Kasey? Hey, how are you?” He sounded surprised.
“Makin’ it.” She drew in a deep breath. “Thanks for coming to...well, it meant a lot to me. Thank you.”
“Just wanted you to know how sorry I was for your loss. Figured flowers would just get lost in the shuffle and, hell, you probably wouldn’t have known who they were from anyway.”
“Right. There are so many Tuggles in the world.”
“I’m glad you called.”
“Did I catch you at a good time?”
“Yeah, sure. I was just getting ready to head over to the studio. We’re cutting one last song before we head for the Midwest leg of the tour.”
“How’s the tour going?”
“We sold out in every city so far.”
“No surprise.”
“Hey, you never know.”
“That’s why I was calling.” Don’t lose your nerve. “I was wondering. I mean, well, don’t feel like you have to say yes.” Just say it. “Does the offer to shoot your tour still stand?”
“You kidding?” his voice raised a pitch.
“I don’t think so.” She looked around the room for an answer. Was she doing the right thing? She didn’t have any better options.
“Yeah. Absolutely. We’d love to have you.”
“It would be good to be busy. I promise my emotions won’t interfere with the quality of my work.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. If you get here and find you’re not up to it, you can leave whenever you need to.”
“Thanks, Cody.”
“Thank you. It will be great to get Arty off my back, too.”
“Yeah, he seemed pretty adamant about the project.”
“He can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but he’s a good guy. He was my biggest supporter when no one was interested. I owe him.”
“Then I guess it’ll work out for everyone.”
“Let me get someone to overnight the full schedule and some materials to get you started. Do you want to fly with me on the jet or tour on the bus?”
“I thought I’d take the RV and follow you all.”
“Naw. That won’t work. You’d be mobbed. After the first show, I guarantee everyone will know you are on this gig.”
“Can I think about it and let you know?”
“Sure. You’re welcome either way. In fact, you can switch it up from town to town if you like. I could use some good company on the jet, though. Someone recently said I’m antsy and a chatterbox.”
“You don’t say.” She snickered, shaking her head. The smile felt foreign on her face. This is the right thing to do.
“It’s true. So I could use an ear,” he teased.
“So happens I’ve got two not being used much these days.” That dark hole expanded in her chest again.
“Welcome aboard.”
* * * *
On Monday morning, a Federal Express package arrived from Cody Tuggle’s road manager. Kasey glanced at the list of cities, but she wasn’t choosy. She needed an escape and location didn’t matter. By the end of the following week, she’d be packed and headed for a tour with one of the hottest singers in the country.
When Von and Riley stopped by that afternoon, she told them about her decision.
“Am I a bad mother?” she asked Riley, hoping for reassurance. “I just can’t sit here waiting and waiting with no way to help. It’s killing me. If I’m working, maybe...”
“Hon, I don’t know how you’ve done it this long. You’re a wonderful mother. If Jake is out there, we’ll find him. Don’t you worry about that. The best thing you can do is go on that tour. Work will be good for you. Keep your mind busy and yourself healthy.”
“I’ll check in,” Kasey said. “And you’ll contact me with even the tiniest details, right?” She looked from Von to Riley.
Von nodded. “We promise, and I’ll take care of hiring a farm manager while you’re gone.”
One less thing to worry about.
Von gave Riley the look, and Riley picked up her purse. “You know what time it is, don’t ya?”
Kasey laughed. “Time for Cops?”
Riley nodded. “You know he hates to miss it.”
“Hey, it’s one show,” Von said, looking insulted.
“See ya,” Kasey waved and watched them leave, thankful that Von would take care of hiring the farm manager. She braced herself for the arguments that were sure to come when she shared her news with Grem. Calling would be the easy way out, but she owed her grandmother the news in person, no matter how cranky and irrational the old woman was sometimes.
Kasey gave herself a little pep talk, then headed to the estate before she could change her mind.
* * * *
Jeremy opened the front door just as Kasey took the last step up to the porch. “This is a pleasant surprise. I was going to stop by tomorrow.”
“Thanks. I wanted to talk to Grem.” She reached up and gave him a hug. “What kind of mood is she in today?”
“Bitching about her arthritis. Didn’t like the brand of apple butter I picked out this time. Normal.” He nodded toward the sun room. “She’s in there.”
“Great. Thanks.”
“Can I get you some tea? Juice? Crappy apple butter toast?”
“Tea sounds good.” Kasey watched Grem from the doorway of the sun room. She looked tiny and frail sitting in her Queen Anne chair overlooking the gardens. But she never seemed either once she started talking.
Grem turned. “I thought I heard voices. This is unexpected, dear.”
Kasey crossed the room and sank into the chair opposite her. “How’ve you been doing?”
“I’m old. Don’t ask. How are you?”
“Same. Not the old part, but the ‘don’t ask’ part.”
They laughed.
“I wanted to stop by and let you know I’ll be out of town for a while.”
Jeremy walked in with a mug of tea and a small plate of toast.
She took both, and they exchanged a look after she noticed the apple butter.
“Thanks. This looks good.” She bit into a triangle of toast and moaned. “Delicious.”
Grem rolled her eyes.
“Did you just say you were going away?” He set a pot of tea on the table between Kasey and Grem. “I overheard. Where are you headed?”
Kasey sipped her tea. “I have a photo shoot.”
“Where?” Grem asked.
“I’m shooting Cody Tuggle’s tour. He’s a country singer. I’ll be heading to Nashville, then up and down the coast.”
“Now that’s my girl. That sounds like a big deal.” Grem looked pleased.
“It is.” Kasey nodded. “Von and Riley will be my eyes and ears here while I’m away, in case anything comes up about Jake.”
Grem placed her hand on Kasey’s arm. “I think it’s the right thing to do. Your career is important. Keep me posted, won’t you?”
“I will.” Kasey sighed in relief. She’d expected a lot of drama, but her grandmother had taken the news quite well.
A non-event. Thank goodness for that.
All she had left to do now was to pack.
“When will you leave?” Grem asked.
“Friday,” Kasey said.
Jeremy straightened. “So soon? How long will you be gone?”
Kasey shrugged. “I’m just going to see how it plays out. I wanted to let y’all know, but like you said, it’s soon.” She got up and stepped over to Grem’s chair. “I need to run some errands and start packing.”
“I’m su
re you’ll do an amazing job,” Grem said. She hugged Kasey. “I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks. Love you,” Kasey said over her shoulder as she walked toward the door.
Jeremy stepped between her and the front door.
“Wednesdays won’t be the same,” he said.
“From what I hear about these music tours, I may not even know which day is Wednesday.” She laughed.
He didn’t.
She cocked her head. “What’s the matter?”
“I just hate the thought of you being gone. I mean, Jake—and now you.”
“And Nick,” Kasey said. “Nick’s gone. We don’t have any leads on Jake. I can’t take it anymore. The waiting. The sitting here doing nothing. It’s killing me. We’ve talked about this. You know how it’s tearing me apart.” She bowed her head, her jaw tightening. “You’re the last one I expected to get any heat from.”
He hugged her. “Sorry. I’m overreacting. Jake will show up. I feel it, too. I’d just hate for you to be gone when he does.”
Kasey hitched her purse onto her shoulder. “Me, too, but it’s not like I’ll be in the jungle. I can be on the first plane back. I’m praying for answers.”
“Me, too,” Jeremy said. “Let me know what you need from me. You know you can count on me, right?”
“Of course.”
* * * *
On Wednesday morning, just after nine, there was a loud knock at the front door. Kasey ran down the stairs, swung around the newel post and answered it. A courier handed her a package. “Need your signature, ma’am.”
More tour stuff.
She took the pen from the young man’s hand and scribbled her signature next to the X, then took the package. She kicked the door closed and opened the stiff envelope. Over the last two days she’d felt an excitement that she thought she’d never feel again. She’d had fun reading all the details of the promo for each city on the tour, knowing she’d be a part of the action.
Kasey pulled the contents from the envelope, excited to see what they’d sent her now. Her hands recoiled as if she’d touched a hot stove. Paper fluttered like angel wings to the floor.
Her hands trembled.
She fell to her knees and swept the sheets into a pile. Two flimsy slips of cardboard, three blank sheets of paper and two pictures—printed on an inkjet by the looks of their quality.