by C. M. Albert
“How do you like your eggs?” I asked, throwing some bacon in a pan. I was lucky I’d stocked up for the holidays, as this was where I usually secluded myself to escape all the hustle and bustle of town.
“Over medium, on a croissant, with some asparagus and cheese?” When she saw the frown crease my brow she laughed. “But my second favorite is clearly scrambled, on a plate, with a side of bacon.”
“Scrambled it is,” I conceded. I whisked the eggs with some milk and poured Dez a tall glass of orange juice.
“Good Lord, how much do you think I can drink?” she asked, looking at the big mug.
“You’re gonna need to keep your energy up tonight, Dez. I’m not nearly done with you.”
She seemed to consider my words, then took a healthy swallow of juice. “So, how long have you had this place?” she asked as I turned the bacon. “And why don’t you live here all the time?”
I took a deep breath. “It was my brother’s,” I admitted. “He was older than me, and our grandfather left it to him in his will, stipulating that it was to always stay in the family. When my brother passed away two years ago, he left it to me.”
“Ah, Mitch. I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
“Thanks. It was for the best. He had an aggressive form of prostate cancer. I wouldn’t have wanted him to live like that for long. My only regret was I was so wrapped up in my own demons at the time that I wasn’t there for him in the end as much as I wish I’d been.”
“Do you want to talk about what happened?”
“Not really,” I admitted. “There’s a long version, and there’s a short version. The short version is I lost my arm, and I fought like hell to recover. Some days, I still feel like I’m fighting.”
She eyed me, clearly not satisfied. I used the spatula to stir the eggs, hoping to avoid further interrogation.
“Look, I spilled my guts to you earlier, literally vomiting my emotional dysfunction all over your car—”
“Until Rosalie busted us,” I said, laughing. “Yeah, you know, Mitch, she is seriously smitten with you. I don’t think you realize just how much.”
“Nah, she’s just a kid, Dez. She might think she has a little crush on me, but she’s not my cup of tea.”
“That doesn’t matter. You’re hers. And she has her sights set on you. Just be careful, okay? I don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”
I chuckled, still not believing that it was as serious as Dez was hinting at. But I’d take her advice and send some clear signals to Rosalie tomorrow that ours was just a platonic friendship.
I buttered some toast and added it to the two full plates of scrambled eggs with fresh cheddar and a side of bacon. I grabbed a jar of raspberry jam made on the Vega Farm and added it to the countertop. “Mind if we eat up here?” I asked.
“Not at all. I’m low maintenance.”
“Says the girl who just asked for eggs and asparagus on a sandwich.” I scrunched my face. “Who does that anyway? I mean, it’s just wrong to mix vegetables and breakfast foods.”
She laughed, waiving a piece of bacon in my direction.
I grabbed her wrist, my gaze intense as I met her eyes. “Eat fast. We have unfinished business.”
DESPITE THE FRENZIED pace I’d set by pouncing on Mitch the moment we entered his cabin, he surprised me by having intense control and patience. Sure, we left our dinner plates in the sink, unwashed, in favor of climbing the stairs to the loft bedroom above, but once there, he took his time with me. The windows were gigantic and took up an entire wall overlooking the mountains of North Carolina. It took my breath away, almost as much as the man did.
I stood watching huge flakes of snow falling, marveling at how much had happened in just a few short days. Mitch wrapped his arm around my waist and settled his chin on my shoulder. “This is the reason I keep this old cabin. You should see the stars at night when the sky’s clear. You can see for miles.”
I leaned back into him, enjoying the warmth of his chest and the strength of his arm around me. I didn’t know what spell Arden’s Glen had over me, but I was suddenly yearning for it in ways I didn’t understand. Maybe it was seeing it through Mitch’s eyes, or the way he walked through his community, touching it with courage and compassion.
I turned into his embrace, facing him and resting my head against his chest. “Mitch, I don’t know where any of this is leading. But I know I want to make love to you tonight,” I dared, peeking up at him. Sure, I’d slept with plenty of men over the years, but I hadn’t made love to a man since Will. But standing there in Mitch’s cabin, the snow falling gently behind us, I wanted nothing more than to take it slow, to savor each other’s bodies. He lifted my chin, as if looking deep inside my soul, and nodded.
Gone were the snarky retorts we’d built our foundation on. I watched as Mitch crossed the room and lit a fire using real logs. I loved watching his form as he crouched down, his flannel pajama pants sexy as hell against his smooth, broad back. A man’s body—one I couldn’t wait to explore in greater detail.
I’d never felt as raw and vulnerable as I did when he drew me back into his embrace, searching my face for something I was afraid he wouldn’t find. His kisses were tender, hungry with passion, but slow and excruciatingly sexy. He settled me back on a fluffy rug in front of the soft warmth of the fireplace and devoured every inch of my skin. My hands tangled in his hair as he moved between my legs, returning the favor he promised. His mouth—hot, demanding, persistent—brought me to a quick, intense orgasm, then he let me ride the crest back down on his skilled fingers.
I’d never been with a man who was so giving, so generous with his passion. When he was done returning the favor, we moved to the large, four-poster bed that matched the light, caramel-colored wood of the cabin. I had wicked ideas about how we could use those posts later. But our time together now was for taking it slow, learning one another’s bodies.
“Mitch,” I breathed out as his mouth trailed the length of my torso, returning to my neck, my ears, my lips. My legs wrapped instinctively around his waist as he entered me, his eyes never leaving mine. Our bodies found a rhythm that felt familiar, as if we were remembering a time when we’d joined them together before. It was as if we were made for one another, our bodies fit so perfectly. Mitch cradled me with his arm as he thrust deep inside me, making sure I climaxed again before he took his own pleasure. We arched together, our bodies shaking with our shared orgasm, when Mitch cried out into my shoulder, an animalistic sound that shot waves of heat straight between my legs. I clenched around him, holding him inside of me, cradling him as he finished his release.
It was a long time before either of us moved. The crackle of the logs was the only sound in the room, save for our labored breathing.
“Dez,” Mitch whispered before he kissed my cheek, my jaw, my lips again. “You are amazing, do you know that?” He ran his fingers down the side of my face, trailing my arm.“So I’ve been told a time or two,” I joked, immediately regretting ruining the romantic moment.
“Do you always do that?” he asked, his eyes searching mine.
“What’s that?” I asked, feigning ignorance.
“Deflecting. Not letting the emotions in,” he said. “I thought I was bad. I’ve just been running, though, completely hiding. You’re hiding in a different way. I never showed up. I closeted myself off from everyone for years. You’re different. You show up, but you just don’t show up.”
Ouch. “If this is your idea of pillow talk, Mitch, I think I’ll go grab my things and head back to Tranquility.”
“That’s exactly what I mean, Dez. Look at me,” he said, sitting up.
I pulled the comforter around my chest and sat up with him, trying to figure out what he was searching for that I wasn’t giving him. “I just let you in—in the most vulnerable possible way, Mitch. What more do you want?”
He cupped my chin and lifted my face so that our eyes met. “God help me, but I want you. I want all of you. I want those spots t
hat hurt, that are afraid to love again. I want the corners of your heart that retaliate with sarcasm because you think it will protect you. I want that woman who did the dishes for an old man who was in pain. I want the woman who looks through her lens to capture the beauty of life when, really, her own beauty touches the lives of everyone around her.” He pressed his hand flat against my heart.
“I didn’t realize it, Dez, because I’ve been running from it myself for years. But for the first time, I want it all. It’s crazy, I know. But there it is. I want it all with you.”
He was looking down, tracing circles on my knee with his finger.
I reached out, running my fingers along his broad shoulder to the jagged scars where his arm was missing, where his skin had done its best to graft back together; parts of it were bumpy and hard beneath my touch. “Does this hurt?” I asked.
“Not so much anymore, though there are times when I get intense pangs, or I experience phantom limb syndrome—you know, where it feels like I still have my arm. Dez . . .”
“Shh,” I whispered, leaning over and kissing his mouth. The scruff from his beard gave me shivers, instantly making my nipples harden. I leaned over, kissing his neck, his shoulder. I held onto his back as my lips found his damaged skin, and I loved it gently with my mouth, kissing the area with the same love and tenderness he’d shown my heart.
“Let me love you,” he said.
He turned me over, so I was laying facedown on the quilted comforter. He slowly licked my back, trailing his tongue to the small of my waist. He cupped it with his hand, hoisting my bottom in the air. He kissed the soft flesh of my cheeks, the delicate skin between my legs. Then he slid back up the bed, covering every inch of my body with his as he entered me, driving long, slow thrusts into me from behind. I arched to meet him, every synapse of my body on fire from the crisp cotton sheets that slid against my open thighs and hard nipples, to the warm kisses that Mitch was covering my back with.
He kissed my ear from behind as he increased his rhythm, sliding faster inside of me as he brought us both to climax again. “I never thought I’d find this with someone, Dez. Just let me in. Please. Let me all the way in. I want to love you, Dez,” he said, burying himself deep within me.
It was the first time in five years that I’d climaxed with the possibility of true love on my mind.
I WOKE UP to the loud rumbling of my phone as it vibrated against the bedside table. It was bright outside, and when I looked over, I watched Dez stretch out like a cat on my bed—her lithe form arching and twisting as she smiled up at me, sleepily.
“Good morning,” she whispered as I reached for my phone.
“Morning,” I said, grinning at her adorable backside. I looked down at the screen to see who called. “Damn, it was Stoltz. I missed his call. Hang on,” I said, swinging my legs off the bed and throwing my pajama bottoms on. Stoltz picked up on the first ring.
“Mitch, I’ve got some bad news for you,” he said. I steadied myself against the corner post of my bed as I listened, trying to ignore Dez’s beautiful naked body as she scooped up her clothes and headed downstairs.
“Just tell me what you found out,” I barked.
“Christiano’s father? He’s gone, man. One of my men found him in his trailer. Self-inflicted gunshot wound. We have reason to believe Christiano found him that way, too. Which explains the overdose and the injury. He took off in his old man’s truck, and we are assuming he was on his way to the youth center because of where he wrecked the vehicle. He must’ve gotten out and tried to make his way there on foot. Climbed a fence on Inez’s property and slipped, taking a part of it in his stomach on the way down.”
“Fuck!” I screamed, punching the post with my fist and immediately regretting the decision. I looked down at my bloody knuckles, the anger still brewing. “How could he fucking do that to Ti? How?”
I dropped to my knees, tears brimming my eyes. How could I tell Ti this, at Christmastime for God’s sake?
“I don’t know, man. I’m really sorry. There’s something else you need to know, Mitch.”
“What else could there possibly be?” I rasped out. I sat with my back against the bed, my arm resting on my bent knee.
“Frank left a suicide note,” Stoltz said.
I looked up at the ceiling without really seeing it through my tears. “Did he apologize for being such a selfish bastard?” I ground out between clenched teeth.
“Yeah, actually, he did. And he made it known that it was his wish to give you full parental custody of Christiano. He asked that everything be sold off and the funds be used to help with the costs associated with raising his son.”
I couldn’t breathe. I said nothing as my world spun lopsided. How could I possibly raise a son? A teenager who already had addiction issues and would be dealing with the grief of losing his father?
Fuck.
“Stoltz . . . I appreciate everything you’ve done. I’m sorry for whoever had to find Frank like that out at the trailer. I’ve gotta get to the hospital today to see how Ti’s doing, see if he’s awake and remembers anything. I don’t know what the fuck I’m going to do about this.”
“No rush. It’s going to have to go through the courts anyway. He didn’t have a formal will. But with Ti being a teenager and you knowing the judge, I’m sure if it’s something you both want, it wouldn’t be too hard to swing. But man . . . Ti’s got a lot of damage,” Stoltz warned.
“Yeah. Don’t we all?”
I thanked Stoltz and fumbled my way down the stairs, following the sounds of a shower. I climbed in alongside Dez in my pajamas. She never asked a word. She just held onto me, holding me up under the warm spray until I cried myself dry.
I STARED DOWN at Ti in his hospital bed. He was asleep from the pain meds, but was doing well overall since the surgery. His dark hair was matted to his forehead, and he looked years younger than he was. As I looked at all the tubes he was connected to, it all began to sink in. Did I actually want custody of the kid?
It was one thing to be a “big brother.” It was entirely something else to open up your heart and your home to one of these kids forever. Hell, I hadn’t even held a baby until yesterday, and here I was facing the very real possibility of becoming a parent to Ti? Was I strong enough to love him—fully—the way he needed in order to heal? I was in way over my head and drowning slowly.
Dez sat in the chair next to the bed and I could feel her watching us. I looked over at her with gratitude. It had been a tough few days, and I wasn’t sure how I would’ve gotten through them without her.
“Did you talk to the nurse yet?” I whispered.
She nodded, patting the built-in sofa in front of the window for me to come sit down next to her. Ti was pretty out of it, so I sat down, knowing my hovering wouldn’t make him awaken any quicker.
“Here,” she said, handing me a coffee. “I figured we could both use one of these. Oh, and I have breakfast, too.” She motioned to the brightly colored plastic bag from LettuceWrap.
“You’ve been busy this morning,” I said as I lifted the warm cup to my lips. I sighed in relief. “Thanks, Dez.”
“Sure, no problem,” she said lightly.
I set the coffee down and took her hand. “I’m serious. Thank you. I don’t know what the hell I would’ve done these last few days without you. Between Celeste and Egan having Dylan early, Ti going missing, Rosalie running me ragged—” I laughed when she lifted her brow as if saying, Oh, please, do tell. “I promise I’ll fill you in later,” I chuckled. “Let’s just say you were right. She wasn’t very subtle in Inez’s office, but I was able to still make her feel important while squeaking out of there with my dignity intact.”
“Mm-hmm,” she said, sipping her coffee, not as amused as I’d hoped she’d be about the whole situation.
“Seriously though. I’ve been asking you to open up to me all this time, but I haven’t done a very good job opening up all the way to you, have I? I guess it’s always been easier for m
e to help other people than to have too much attention on me. After the accident, attention was the last thing I wanted. I did a nice job of pushing everyone away. And I liked it that way, for a while.
“Then the kids from the center started worming their way into my heart. Egan and I developed an instant bromance,” I said, laughing. “The dude’s like the little brother I never had. Really helped me heal after losing my older brother.” I peered over at the bag that was on the sofa. “What do you have in there? I might need some fuel if I’m going to get all touchy feely this morning,” I said, delaying the inevitable.
Dez pulled out two breakfast sandwiches and some fruit in a cup. I grimaced. “Uh-oh. Never send a chick to get breakfast foods.” I lifted the wrapper cautiously. “Is . . . is this a vegetable? On my breakfast sandwich?”
“Despite being a little overzealous, Rosalie makes the best egg, cheese, and asparagus on a croissant in all of Arden’s Glen,” she said, lifting it to her lips. “Trust me.” She winked, taking a huge bite of the sandwich. Other than the green stalks protruding from the end, it didn’t look half bad.
All I wanted to do, though, as I watched Dez roll her eyes in ecstasy from the breakfast sandwich, was to take her lips in mine and give her another reason to moan. I watched as she licked the cheese from her mouth and grinned.
I bit into my sandwich, leery. Damn. It was good, I had to admit. After watching me finish it in three bites, Dez laughed. “It’s a shame you hate green shit on your breakfast sandwiches.”
“Damn shame,” I admitted, grinning back. That’s when Dr. Zampogna walked in, eyeing us both, surprised. “Dez, Mitch,” he said, shaking my hand as I stood.
Dez cleaned up our mess and excused herself as Zade watched her go. When he turned back to me, I wanted to punch him for the look I recognized in his eyes.
“She’s mine now. I don’t know what happened between you two, and I don’t really care. But she’s off-limits, got it?” I growled. I didn’t really have any authority to claim Dez yet, but I was taking an early piss on my territory and, at that moment, I didn’t really care about technicalities.