Here Be Dragons - 1

by Sharon Kay Penman

  249 , coVerS °n their wedding night that she was not, or if he finds her in mprorrusing circumstances with another man, of course, or if her marge portion fell short of what was promised " Llewelyn had been, for some moments now, playing with her hair, the feel of his fingers on her throat was so delightfully distracting to loanna that she was not fully concentrating upon what he was saying But at that, she smiled up at him, murmuring, "Then you do have me for better or worse, since my father handed Ellesmere Castle over to you months ago, I would never be unfaithful, and I am indeed a virgin " "For much too long, I think," he said softly, dark eyes promising enough to bring a blush to Joanna's face "But do you not want to know how a wife may shed an unwanted husband7 There are four grievances that will gam her freedom if the man contracts leprosy, if he has foul breath, if he is incapable in bed or if he does three times dishonor their marriage vows " Joanna all but choked on her mead "Now you are teasing me1" "No," he said, "I am not, love The first two times that a Welsh wife discovers her husband has bedded with another woman, she has the nght to demand from him payment of a gowyna fine, if you willfor his adultery With his third fall from grace, she may leave him, although if she does not, she then has no further cause for complaint " Llewelyn paused "There is one more reason for ending a marriage, Joannaif a husband does ever bring another woman under his wife's roof " "As you did with Cristyn7" Joanna whispered, and he nodded "Yes, as I did with Cnstyn Amongst our people, that is one of the three great scandals, and the wife may at once disavow the marriage, disavow the husband who has so wronged her " "I I would never do that, Llewelyn " Joanna was stunned, in her world, laws such as these were more than radical, they were revolutionary She was silent for a time, trying to take in this astonishing new 'nsight, that Llewelyn, not she, had been in the wrong "I thank you for telling me You did not have to, you know " It came to her then, the reason for Llewelyn's remarkable restraint, and e cr>ed, "Now I do understand why, as angry as you were this morn, u did not touch me1 It was because I was in the right, was it not7" Joanna, I've never hit a woman in my life You've not been hsten- S to me, love Did I not tell you we do not treat our women as the u mians> do7 Amongst my people, we do not take out our bad tempers ajj n OUr Wives just because they happen to be handy Welsh law does ^ a "Usband the nght to discipline his wife for three offenses only if ur>faithful, if she gambles away the family goods, or if she casts

  250 slurs upon his manhood. Should he strike her for any other reason, he then obligated to pay her a sarhaed or honor-price." Joanna had been listening in astonishment. " 'A woman, a serf, and a willow tree, the more you beat them, the better they be/" she quoted and shook her head. "But do men truly abide by these laws, Llewelyn?" "Not all men, love. More do than not, however. You see, an abused wife has the right to appeal to her male kinsmen for succor, and if they fail to protect her, the shame then falls upon them. Knowing a careless slap will bring down upon his head the wrath of his wife's kin, and might even give rise to a blood feud . . . well, that does act to curb all but the most heedless of men." Llewelyn drew her still closer, and Joanna shifted so that she could pillow her head against his chest. "I begin to think the greatest gift the Almighty could give any woman would be for her to be born Welsh!" "Or to marry a Welshman," Llewelyn suggested, and kissed her. For Joanna, it was as it had been on that November noon at Rhosyr; she experienced again sensations exciting and unfamiliar, found her body responding to his touch like a flower starved for sun. All her senses seemed suddenly to have intensified, and when he slid his hand into the bodice of her gown, began to caress her breast, she gave a gasp, sought his mouth with hers. Llewelyn was delighted. Brushing aside her fall of thick ebony hair, he put his lips to the pulse in her throat, with his free hand unfastening the side lacings of her bliaut. "Sweet. . . very sweet. I must have been well and truly out of my mind not to take you to my bed ere this," he murmured, utterly taken aback when Joanna abruptly went rigid in his embrace, then recoiled as violently as on that day at Rhaeadr Ewynol. For a startled moment, Llewelyn did not move, staring up at her in amazement. He could not have mistaken her willingness, the way her body warmed under his caresses. She was not merely acquiescent, she was eager. That had been no pretense, he'd wager his life on it. Yet there was no pretense, either, in the stricken look on her face, no denying her sudden fear. He could only assume he'd gone too fast, fondled her too intimately, too soon. Coming to his feet, he said, "What is it, love? You've no cause for fear, Joanna, not with me." "But you do not know what I've done!" "What you've done?" Whatever Llewelyn might have been expecting to hear, that was not it. On the verge of tears, Joanna nodded. "I did go to your chambers this morning to ask your forgiveness. She . . . Cristyn was there, and I... oh, Llewelyn, I burned your bed!" Llewelyn bit down on his lower lip, pulled her back into his arms"Yes, love, I know."

  251 "You know?" she said incredulously. "And you're not angry?" "Well/ I'd rather you not make a habit of it." But with that, Llewe, gravity shattered into a multitude of mirthful splinters, and he bed until he, too, was on the verge of tears. giddy with relief, Joanna began to laugh, too, until Llewelyn kissed again. "Now," he said, with a grin that caught at her heart, "ere I . you to bed, have you any other sins to confess?" Joanna found herself longing to admit how much she loved him. BUt she did not, for it was not fair to burden him with a love he might ever be able to return. She shook her head, looking up at him with eyes soft and glowing, such utterly trusting eyes, that Llewelyn caught his breath. "It will be good for you, Joanna," he promised. "I'll give you as much time as you need; we do have all night." "DO you know what Isabelle told me? That a woman will find the greatest pleasure in an older man's bed. She says a youth of twenty or so will pounce upon a girl like a dog on a bone, will be done and dying away almost ere he begins. But a man of a more seasoned age knows well how toin her words, not minemount a mare and prolong the ride!" "I'm almost afraid to ask, but how did Isabelle come to be so worldly, so knowing in carnal matters? John gave her a crown; did she give him horns?" "Of course not! She knows that older men make better lovers because Papa did tell her so. Llewelyn . . . why are you laughing at me?" "Because I suspect, my darling, that you're three swallows short of tipsy." Joanna peered into her half-empty cup of mead, trying to remember whether this was her second or third. "I believe," she said thoughtfully, "that you might well be right. I do feel. . . strange." Llewelyn moved his hand caressingly up her thigh. "How, Joanna?" "Feather-light, as if all the bone and marrow in my body weighed no more than gossamer, as if your arms alone did anchor me to the earth." She shivered as Llewelyn tugged at the bodice of her chemise, 'feeing her breasts. His breath was hot on her skin, and she watched w'th fascination as her nipples swelled, became hard and taut. "Oh, LleWe'yn, love, you're right, I am tipsy! What I do not know is whether it is the mead, or whether it is you." "Let's find out," he said, and when she put her arms around his e°k/ he lifted her from the settle, carried her across the chamber to the bed.

  252 1 Llewelyn had never before understood the appeal virgins had f other men, had always looked upon a woman's maidenhead as more ' an impediment to pleasure than a proof of purity. But now, with I anna, he found that virginity need not be embarrassing or inhibitin that it could even be enhancing. There was something very exciting Joanna's wonderment, in her surprise and her satisfaction. As sh sighed, twisted against him, he knew she was experiencing sensation utterly new to her, experiencing all the urgency and pleasure that th body could givefor the very first time. To diminish her pain and prolong their enjoyment, he sought to keep physical needs under mental thrall, making use of all the tricks he'd learned in the twenty years since he had, as an awed fourteen-year-old, discovered how sweet the fruits of the flesh could be, drawing out their lovemaking until he dared delay no longer. She stiffened under him, but did not cry out, and he felt the barrier give way with his second thrust. Joanna was gasping his name. He covered her mouth with his own, and she clung tightly, then turned her head from side to side on the pillow, s
huddering, all but blinding them both with the wild tossing of her hair. Yielding to his own need, he let it take him toward satisfaction, toward that ephemeral moment of release, so fleeting and yet so overwhelming in its intensity, in its peculiar union of pleasure and pain. JOANNA awoke with an enormous thirst, a dull headache, and a profound sense of wonder. Alison at once approached the bed, offering a cup of watered-down wine. Reaching for it eagerly, Joanna drank in grateful gulps. "What time is it?" she yawned, and winced, for she'd suddenly discovered that her thigh muscles were stiff and sore. "Nigh on noon, Madame. My lord Prince said we were to let you sleep, and to give you this." Holding out an unsealed parchment. This speaker was a stranger to Joanna, was a slender young woman with a delicate heart-shaped face and thick chestnut braids. "Who," Joanna asked, "are you?" The girl made a shy curtsy. "I am Branwen, Madame. Lord Llewelyn wanted you to have a handmaiden who spoke French, thought I might suit you better than Enid. I would have been here yesterday to welcome you back, but we did not expect you for nigh on a fortnight That will not happen again, I promise." "That is all right, Branwen," Joanna said absently. Llewelyn's message was a letdown, a brief two lines: "Cariad, I do have to meet again with the Bishops in Bangor, will be back by dark." No more than that unsigned but for a large scrawling double 1. "Branwen . . . what does cariad mean?"

  253 "Cariad? Why, that is Welsh for 'beloved/ Madame," she said, and na sank back, smiling, upon the pillow. VER had an afternoon passed with such excruciating slowness. Never h A Joanna so begrudged daylight its domain. But with the coming of Husk had come, too, the snow. Joanna's spirits plummeted. When it s evident even to her that Llewelyn was not going to return in time for dinner, if he returned at all, she went off to preside over a glum meal in the great hall. The snow slackened somewhat as the evening dragged on, and twice the arrival of latecomers sent her flying to the window, watching hopefully as they dismounted in the bailey. The third time horsemen rode in, she did not even bother to look, having at last accepted the obvious, that Llewelyn had decided to pass the night in Bangor. But then Alison exclaimed, "Madame, I see lights in your lord's chambers!" Joanna's excitement was contagious, and Alison and Branwen enthusiastically set about making her ready for Llewelyn, brushing out her hair, applying strategic daubs of perfume. Looking into the mirror Alison held up, Joanna was, for once, pleased with what she saw. Her eyes reflected the color of her moss-green gown, and she was becomingly flushed, a flush that seemed to be spreading through her entire body, the throbbing, languid warmth that claimed her each time she let herself think upon their lovemaking. "My lady ..." Alison turned slowly from the window. Not looking at Joanna's face, she said, "The lights . . . they've gone out." Joanna put the mirror down. "Of course," she said steadily. "I did not stop to think; after a ride in such foul weather, my lord husband would be exhausted, in truth." But the reasonableness of that did little to ease her hurt. Could he not at least have come in to bid her good night? Once in bed, she found it difficult to sleep. The memories of what she and Llewelyn had done last night in this bed were too vivid, too real. At last she dozed, only to be awakened with a shock, with the feel °f an icy breath against her cheek. Llewelyn was sitting on the bed, shook snow onto them both as he leaned over to embrace her. 'Not even a lantern left in the window for me, and sound asleep in 'he bargain," he complained, caressing her all the while with his eyes, anething eager and innocent in her face stopped him, and he said in-

  254 stead, "Now why ever would I want to sleep alone when I could sL with you?" Alison and Branwen had discreetly disappeared. Joanna sat 'eep UP, reached for her bedrobe. "Where are your squires?" "I sent them off to bed, thought I might persuade you to offer hand." Joanna was as compulsively neat as Llewelyn was not, and sh snatched up his mantle and tunic almost before they hit the floor, folded them conscientiously across a coffer chest. By now he was pulling off hjs shirt, and she gave a concerned cry. "No! Over by the fire, or you'll catch your death of cold." "I do not recall you caring where I undressed last night," he said and Joanna blushed and then laughed. "To tell you true, I do not even remember undressing last night," she confessed, kneeling before him to help unfasten the cords binding his chausses to his braies. "It just seemed to ... happen." He smiled down at her, and marveling how her body's needs suddenly seemed to exist independently of her conscious control, she reached for the nearest cord, saw that Llewelyn's passions were kindled as quickly as her own. Her touch had been light, inadvertent, but as her fingers brushed his upper thigh, his reaction was immediate, pronounced. "Women are lucky," she teased shyly, "for they can hide their desire so much more easily than can men," and Llewelyn laughed. "Who wants to hide it?" he said, and stripped off his chausses and braies. Joanna had often seen naked men, as a child had occasionally entered John's bedchamber as he was dressing, had assisted Ela in bathing more than one highborn guest at Salisbury Castle, had passed serfs bathing in the river in summer. She'd long ago mastered that which was essential in a society so lacking in privacy: the elusive art of seeing and yet not seeing. Now, however, she let her eyes linger upon her husband's body. He was taller than most Welshmen, his the lean, wiry strength of stamina rather than of muscle and sinew. He had an insignificant amount of chest hair, his skin dark and smooth, marred only by the scars of old wounds, scars that now took on a new and sinister significance to Joanna, one tracking across his ribcage, another angled toward his collar bone, a third slanting in a thin white line from his pubic hair down his thigh. Joanna reached out, traced its path with gentle fingers. "That must have been a frightening injury." "That, my darling, was not the half of it!" he said wryly. "There is nothing like a groin wound to make a man repent his sinful past." He did then what Joanna had wanted him to do all along, put his hand on hers, showed her how best to give a man pleasure.

  255 It was to Joanna enormously gratifying, to find that Llewelyn nted her caresses and kisses even as much as she wanted his "It is v to understand how people came to use the term 'manhood,'" she i rather breathlessly, but how explain 'privy member'7" "How explain any of them, Joanna cock, shaft, codpiece, pizzle, word7 And in Welsh bonllost, gwialen, cal and those are just the polite terms ' "Bonllost," she echoed, amused by the unfamiliar phrasing, and then began to giggle "I do hope none of our children ever ask me which Welsh word I did learn first1" Llewelyn had taken her into a closer embrace, she could feel his hands under her bedrobe, and she sighed, said softly, "I think, though, that I shall call it Merlin, in honor of the miracles it did work last night " Llewelyn laughed, and drew her toward the bed "And I begin to think," he said, "that I do owe the English King a far greater debt than I first realized " 'LLEWELYN whilst we were making love, you did call me breila What does that mean7" "A bmla is a dusky wild rose It does suit you, I think " Joanna was touched almost to tears "Breila that's lovely " She lay back against him, cradled her head in the crook of his shoulder "I know I was a disappointment to you at first, but "Disappointment7" Llewelyn raised himself up on one elbow, saw with surprise that she was neither teasing nor fishing for flattery "Has no one ever told you, Joanna, that you're beautiful7" Now it was Joanna's turn to doubt him "No," she said at last, "but when I was about twelve, I do remember hearing Maude de Braose say I looked verily like a Saracen " "Who in Christ cares what Maude de Braose thinks7" Llewelyn reached for a long strand of Joanna's hair, pulled it across his throat "If Saracen women do indeed have hair like black silk, eyes like emeralds, and blood hotter than Greek fire, little wonder men are so eager to take the cross, to reach the Holy Land " "Oh, love " Leaning over, Joanna gave him a lingering kiss 'That is blasphemous," she said huskily, "and the most memorable compliment any woman ever got " In reply, Llewelyn dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose, then yawned Joanna chose to disregard the hint, not yet willing to relinquish 'he utter euphoria of the moment "Llewelyn will you tell me of TangwystP Did you love her7" "Yes, I did " Llewelyn did not open his eyes, but the corner of his

  256 mouth curved in a smile. "Tangwystl was a flaming redhead,
and she did fret over her coloring fully as much as you do over yours, red h being thought accursed since the days of Judas. But like you, she w fair to look upon . . . very fair." Joanna did not begrudge Tangwystl that echo of past passion. S{ felt no jealousy for a dead woman; all her anxieties were for a rival ver much alive, for Cristyn. Did he love Cristyn? That was the question she dared not ask. "Did you never think to wed Tangwystl, Llewelyn?" "I had not the right, had to make a marriage that would be to Gwynedd's good." Joanna wondered why she'd asked a question with so obvious an answer. However lovely Isabelle was, she knew her father would not have married her had she not also been heiress to Angouleme, and Llewelyn was no less ambitious. "Llewelyn ..." He yawned again. "Joanna, had I known you were one for talking all night, I might have thought twice ere I told Aldwyn to move this bed and all your belongings into my chamber." Joanna stared at him, momentarily rendered mute. He was so nonchalant, as if unaware of what he was offering her. Sleeping every night in his bed, she'd be a true wife in every sense of the word, not just a consort, a political pawn. And, Lady Mary, what it would mean, to be able to fall asleep in his arms, to reach out and touch him in the night, and, most blessed mercy of all, never to have to lie awake wondering if he was in Cristyn's bed. "I thought we'd use this chamber for wellborn guests . . ." Llewelyn paused, belatedly remembering that a private chamber was no small luxury. "Or would you rather keep it for your own, Joanna?" "Oh, Llewelyn, beloved, need you ask? I'd rather sleep with you in a hut than alone in a palace!" Llewelyn could not help laughing at the extravagant innocence of that avowal, at once regretted it, for he felt Joanna tense. She'd turned her head aside on the pillow, and he leaned over, touched her cheek. Her lashes lifted, their eyes met, and then she said, "You knew?" "Let's say I hoped," he said with a smile, and Joanna flushed. "That is why I did not want to tell you, so you'd not feel you had to ... to be gallant. It's not fair to you." She bit her lip, all too aware that she was floundering. "What I'm trying to say, Llewelyn, is that I... I'"1 willing to settle for what you can give." Llewelyn did not answer at once. He'd been rather bemused by her obvious affection for John, had finally conceded that, whatever his other failings, John had at least done right by Joanna. Now he found himself