Here Be Dragons - 1

by Sharon Kay Penman

  629 I d lay wltn y°u m my husband's own bed7 Get out, get out ere I start to scream'" He dropped the tunic onto the floor, stared at her in surprise What game are you playing now, Joanna7 You know you want me '. jjj you depart the hall like that if you did not expect me to fol- "I expected nothing1 I'll take no blame for your mistakes, for your ursed, overweening pride For months now I've told you that it was er And even if I were utterly besotted with you, I'd never have mted you into Llewelyn's bedchamber, never1" Will gave a half-angry laugh "You make it sound as if we're about to defile a sacred shrine1" Yet he was not as irked as he might otherwise have been, she was clutching the sheet up to her breasts, but the matenal was soft, clinging, adhered to the curves of hip and thigh, and her hair spilled over her breasts, onto the pillow in a midnight cloud "Mayhap I did misread you, Joanna," he conceded "But I'm here now, and I cannot believe you truly want me to leave You admitted it yourself at Shrewsbury, how much you still wanted me You remember how it was between us " He leaned over the bed, his mouth seeking hers, and Joanna screamed Will never had more reason to bless his quick reflexes As stunned as he was, he reacted instinctively, swiftly clasping his hand over her mouth, choking back her cry He'd encountered resistance from women before, but it was usually playfully offered, a lover's game Joanna was struggling in earnest, in panic, trying to bite his hand, to scratch, to roll off the bed He realized at once that he could not restrain her without truly hurt.ng her, and when he loosened his grip on her mouth, she succeeded in giving another muffled scream Never had Will's desire diminished so rapidly, never had he lost an wection with such speed He was no longer aware of the soft female v thrashing under his, was aware only of that unshuttered window, h« hysterically barking dog Joanna, calm yourself I do not want to hurt you Joanna, listen to L>o you know what will happen to me if anyone heard your scream7 f£"st Jesus, I'll be gelded with a dull knife' I'll not force you, I swear If rny hand away, let you up, do you promise not to scream7" tt, 6 noc^ed' after an unnervmgly long pause He released her ^ ' ery cautiously She was gasping for breath, but she did not cry UU7 relaxed somewhat, enough for anger "Whatever possessed j °0ci Christ, woman, you almost got me killed1" ne Pul?na Was to° shaken for speech, half blinded by her own hair the sheet up, panting, rubbing her wrists But when Will

  me 630 took a step toward the bed, she cried, "If you dare to tou K // *-*^ri TY)Q again . . . ne Her voice had risen and he hastily backed away. "What d think, that I had rape in mind? At your own court, in your own h U chamber? What kind of a bloody fool do you think I am?" They glared at each other, but his protest had the ring of tn Joanna acknowledged that by reaching for the spaniel, seeking to a it. Will moved to the table, poured himself a double measure of mead "i cannot remember when I've felt death so damned close," he confess d "Between you and that wretched dog, I expected half the court to corn bursting in at any moment." "You're luckier than you deserve. I want you out of here . now1" "You do want me to dress first? I'd look somewhat conspicuous wandering about the bailey in my shirt and chausses." Will set the cup down, studied Joanna with baffled, angry eyes. He still could not believe he'd not have been able to bring her around, if only he had enough privacy and time. But not here, not now, not when a single scream could bring a dozen men on the run. "Here," he said, moving warily toward the bed. "Take the rest of this mead. If your nerves are half as frayed as mine, you need it." Joanna did, but she shook her head. "Just put it down and get out." She was still rubbing her wrist, and he said, "Are you hurt? In truth, Joanna, I did think you were expecting me, that I was welcome in your bed. I suppose every man has coerced a consent at one time or another. But I would never, in this lifetime or the next, force a woman like you. A Prince's wife, the King of England's sister? That mad I am not! I frightened you, I know. But you gave me a turn, too. Let's call it check and mate, and" "I do not want to talk. I just want you to go." "All right. I'll go." It was for the best; she was too distraught to be trusted. But on the morrow he'd have to find a way to talk privately with her, to mollify her somehow. Women could be vindictive, unforgiving, and she was in a unique position to do him harm, to poison the ^"8 mind against him. "I'll go," he repeated, but instead he turned, moved swiftly toward the window. u Joanna sat up in alarm. "Now what are you about? Get back les , be seen!" , ut. "Something is amiss." Very cautiously, he peered around the s^ ter edge. "People are coming out of the hall. I cannot be sure, t>u I hear your name, hear 'Siwan.'" . £0& Joanna heard it too, now, a confused babble of voices, barking "What is it, Will?"

  PT 631 "I do not know, mayhap a fire " He nsked another look, and drew back hastily "Christ, it's Llewelyn1" Even then, Will kept his wits about him Llewelyn was dismounting front of his lodgings, but if the door was thus eliminated as a means ' f scape, that still left a side window Will darted toward it, began jyng at tne shutter latches "Joanna, hide my clothing and sword1" I t Joanna was incapable of moving She sat frozen, staring at the door "Joanna7 Joanna, are you all right7 Unbar the door'" The voice was Llewelyn's She heard other voices, too, someone was pounding on the door, and Llewelyn was shouting for the key Will had the latches up , now, he jerked the shutters open, and then recoiled "Jesu, there are men outside1 Quick, Joanna, where can I hide7" But Joanna did not reply, and as he swung about, he saw the latch begin to move As they watched, it was slowly, inexorably pushed upward, and then the door was thrust open Llewelyn was not alone, and the chamber was cast into eerie brightness by the sudden flare of torches But Joanna saw none of the men No one existed for her but Llewelyn She watched, stunned, as he strode into the room, watched as he came to an abrupt halt, watched as his face changed, watched as her world fell apart Llewelyn looked from Will to Joanna, and despite the irrefutable evidence of infidelity, there was still a moment in which he half expected Joanna to offer a rational, convincing explanation for Will's presence, half dressed, in their bedchamber But she had yet to utter a word, and all the color had drained from her face She looked up at him in stricken silence, silence more damning than any confession could have been and he could read in her eyes only horror, despairing entreaty, and an admission of a betrayal beyond forgiving Will stood very still He'd talked his way out of awkward corners before, but none like this He'd seen the disbelief on Llewelyn's face give way to a far more frightening emotion, and he thought, Christ, he loves her1 He'd always prided himself upon his glibness of tongue, but as ne looked at Llewelyn, he knew suddenly that it would not avail him n°w that nothing would He no longer had enough saliva for swallowing, had to try twice fore he could get the words out "I know this looks bad, but" He o no further, Llewelyn's sword was already clearing its scabbard He d nowhere to run, felt the wall at his back, and knew the last sight e d ever see was the light reflecting off that gleaming steel blade ^ Joanna was petrified, averted her eyes But she made no sound nroat had closed up, even if Llewelyn turned the sword upon her she d not have been able to cry out

  632 "Llewelyn, wait!" Joanna opened her eyes, saw that Ednyved had stepped bet Llewelyn and Will. "No," he said grimly, "not like that. It's too ^ Give him the death he deserves. Hang him." ^ Will drew an audible breath. No one else spoke. And then Llew slowly lowered his sword. "Yes," he said in a voice Joanna had n heard before. "You're right. It is too quick this way. Take him." * For the first and only time in his life, Will panicked, made a sudd lunge for the window. But Llewelyn's sword came up with eye-blurri speed, and Will froze, his stomach muscles contracting, anticipatin that first thrust into the belly or groin. There'd be nothing easy or quick about such a death, not with Llewelyn wielding the blade. Better to tak his chances with the hanging, for there was a hopehowever slightthat enough political pressure might reprieve him. He no longer resisted, therefore, when Llewelyn's men laid hands upon him, but they treated him roughly all the same, jerking his arms behind his back and shoving him toward the door. He did not struggle, realizing that Llewelyn had only to say the word and they'd gladly hang him then and there, over the bed. He stumbled, nearly fell, and for a moment his eye
s found Joanna. "I ought to be gallant and say you were worth it, darling," he said huskily, "but no woman is worth hanging for." His words meant nothing to Joanna; she never even heard them. "Llewelyn . . ." She had yet to take her eyes from her husband's face. "Llewelyn, I'm sorry . . ." Llewelyn moved toward the bed. When he brought the sword up, he heard gasps. Joanna's lips parted; her breath quickened. Tears had begun to streak her face. He knew suddenly that this was the way he would always remember her, clutching a sheet to hide her nakedness, dark hair falling about her face in wanton disarray, kneeling in the middle of the bed, the bed in which she'd betrayed him. Her deathbed. One downward stroke of his sword and the sheets would be soaked with blood. His hand tightened on the hilt, and then he thrust the sword back into its scabbard, turned to face the others. "I want de Braose's men taken prisoner, too. See to it." 1 . . i _ ,,/-!!- Men hastened to obey. Llewelyn became aware now of their au ence, of the people crowding into the antechamber. "Get them °u i. _...// i. _ i j _ . .1 .1 . ... _ .1. . _ i _i j - :c U,r ma(ric. Wnl'e ivicii iiaaicucu lu uucy. i_,icwciyn uc^aiiic awaic n»^" ~- , ence, of the people crowding into the antechamber. "Get them °u here," he snarled, and the antechamber cleared as if by magic/ through the open window he could see Will de Braose being dragg across the bailey. . ^ "Llewelyn . . . Llewelyn, I did not ask him to come to me- ^ve over between us. Beloved, I swear it, I swear I never wou brought him here, into your bed . . ."

  tion 633 If her words had registered with him, Joanna could see no indicaof it in n's ^ace' ^e turned away from her, and as he moved through doorway, Joanna sobbed, begged him to wait, to listen, but he did nejther. "Llewelyn ..." Joanna sobbed again, collapsed upon the bed. He gone and he would not be back. She'd lost him, lost all, all ... She , noj think it was possible to feel pain greater than this. But then she ar(] her son's voice, heard Davydd say, "Why, Mama, why?" "Davydd?" Her voice broke. "Davydd . . . you saw? My God, oh, myGod, no..." He moved from the shadows of the antechamber, stood there starjne at her as if he no longer recognized her. "Glynis sent word that you'd been taken ill, that the doctors feared a rupture . . ."He sounded dazed, his words labored, coming as uncertainly as if he were speaking a language not his own. "She said . . . said you might be dying. Papa, he ..." He shook his head, as if to clear it. "We half killed our horses, and when we rode into the bailey, no one knew, no one . . ." The words trailed off raggedly, his mouth contorting. "What have you done, Mama? Jesus God, what have you done?" DAVYDD had gone. Joanna was alone. She would never know how long she lay there in the darkness. Upon the table a solitary candle still sputtered, burning down toward the wick. When at last it flickered out, Joanna rose from the bed, groped her way across the chamber. She did not bother with stockings or chemise; finding a gown in one of her coffers, she pulled it over her head, began to search for her shoes. She did not braid her hair, merely brushed it back over her shoulders. She had to see Llewelyn. She had to tell him that she'd not lain with Will in his bed. Nothing else mattered. He could never forgive her, she knew that. But le' his grieving be for those October afternoons in the hafod. Not for this, "°t for a betrayal in his own bedchamber. She could at least do that for "n. She could give him the truth about tonight and hope it might in "me help to heal some of his pain. Once she was dressed, though, she found herself standing motionby the door. How could she find Llewelyn? The thought of entering ^ 8feat hall in search of him was terrifying. She wanted only to stay m the dark, never to have to face others again. But she must somebra *^e Coura8e to do this, for Llewelyn's sake if not her own. She arm nerself and then opened the door, only to find her way barred by ^ed guards.

  12 ABER, NORTH WALES April 1230 T J. HE men came for Joanna the following morning. She had no warning; they entered without knocking, announced brusquely that she was to accompany them. "Where are you taking me?" she asked, the composure of her question utterly belied by the tremor in her voice, and one of the men laughed. "Did you not hear the hammering? Carpenters have been laboring since dawn to erect a gallows ... for two." Even before she saw the startled looks on the other faces, Joanna was sure the man lied. If Llewelyn meant for her to die, she'd have died last night in her own bed. He would never hang her; she knew that with such certainty that she found the assurance now to challenge their authority. "I want to know where I am to be taken." "Do you indeed? Well, I'd not give a fig for what you want," he jeered, and Joanna stiffened, for that expression had long since taken on obscene connotations. "You've no right to ask questions. You forfeited all rights the day you chose to play the whore for a Norman lord. No one had ever dared speak to her with such contempt, and Joanna felt as if she'd been torn, naked and defenseless, from a cocoon of privilege and power, with no skills for survival in this harsh new world. But indignation was an indulgence no longer available to her. she could do was to salvage what dignity she could. "Very well, come with you as soon as I braid my hair." , Her tormentor stepped toward her, took the brush out of her a "No, you will come now," he said, and she had no choice but to ^ When Topaz sought to follow, he thrust the dog aside impatiently- a *' * i <*j Joanna had no choice but to accept that, too. Just as they reached the door, a terrifying thought came What if he was not lying about the gallows? What if she was

  635 eht out to watch as Will was hanged? Merciful Jesus, let it not be so, was praying wordlessly, desperately, as they opened the antechamber door. As early as it was, the bailey was thronged with men and women. p. v watched in unnerving silence as Joanna emerged into the sunlight, t as she was led forward, they began to murmur among themselves. eral gpat deliberately upon the ground; one bolder than the rest lied out loudly, "Norman slut!" Joanna flushed, suddenly seeing her- lf through other eyes, hostile eyes. How she regretted dressing last ght in such haste; without stockings or chemise she felt half naked, slatternly, and with her hair loose, tumbling down her back, blowing untidily about her face, she must look as if she'd just been roused from a man's bed, a lover's embrace. There was a sudden stir; Glynis broke through the crowd, ran toward Joanna. "I did not do it, Madame," she cried. "I sent no message, I swear by Our Lady I did not!" "I know, Glynis, I know." Joanna's eyes swept the crowd. "Where is Senena?" "Gone, my lady. She left nigh on an hour ago for Deganwy Castle." That came as no surprise to Joanna. Senena would want to tell Gruffydd with no delay. Glynis was gazing at her in sudden comprehension. "Madame, you think it was she . . . ?" "Who else? But you must go back now, Glynis, lest the others think you too sympathetic, lest they suspect you of aiding and abetting me in a liaison with Will." Glynis looked frightened, but she stayed resolutely by Joanna's side for several strides. "Go with God, my lady." The crowd's anger was growing, and as Joanna feared, some of it was now directed at Glynis. But most of the abuse was reserved for Joanna, and as she heard herself called "whore" and "harlot," she began to comprehend at last the political implications of her adultery. Their outrage was in fact rooted in fear, the fear that she'd made Llewelyn ridiculous in the eyes of his English enemies. Nor was the fear illounded. The aging husband with a wanton young wife was a stock Sure of fun, found in innumerable comic tales and guild mummeries, Q for a Prince, nothing could be more injurious to authority than ghter, the mockery of other men. As Joanna came to this appalled erstanding, she realized, too, that her sin was twofold in the eyes of welyn's countrymen, for not only had she betrayed her husband, she etrayed him with a Norman, with one of her own. he faltered, and the heckling increased. She knew she must not en must not show fear. For Davydd's sake, she must be strong ° to endure their scorn. As a child in London, she'd once seen a

  638 that she was to follow. She did, but gave Davydd one last despaj look over her shoulder, and Davydd cried out, "Wait!" § Beckoning to the nearest man, he gave a terse, low-voiced ord one that earned him a look of surprise. But the man obeyed, haste ' across the bailey toward Joanna's lodgings, reemerging a moment lat with Topaz straining upon a leather leash. Davydd stood motionless, watching as Joanna moved to claim h dog, as she was then escorted toward the gateway. He ign
ored th stares, the whispers. Even the most probing eyes could read nothing i his face, and many marveled that he could be so impassive a witness t his mother's banishment from his father's court, his father's life. None was close enough to see the tears welling in his eyes. AS Joanna's guards carried the coffer chests into her bedchamber, Glynis said apologetically, "They would not allow me to take your jewelry, Madame. But I was permitted to pack your clothing and your harp and your bath vials and" "That is more than I expected, Glynis." And more than she deserved. During Ingeborg's years of confinement at Etampes Castle, it was said that Philip had denied her warm blankets, a physician's care. But I, Joanna thought bleakly, I am to do penance in my own bedchamber, with silver brushes and bath oils. Her guilt suddenly seemed more than she could bear. For the first time, she could understand why repentant sinners sought to expiate their wrongdoing with hair shirts, with sackcloth and ashes. Such gestures no longer seemed extravagant or suspect; theirs was actually the easier way, mortifying the flesh in order to mend the spirit. As the men withdrew, Joanna moved toward the younger woman. "It was kind of you to come, Glynis. But you need not stay with me.' "I know that, Madame. Lord Davydd said that if I did not want to come to Llanfaes, he'd find another to serve you. But I told him it was my wish to be with you." Joanna felt tears prick her eyes, but she blinked them back, fearing that if she started to cry, she'd not be able to stop. She hugged Glynis wordlessly, and the girl said shyly, "Madame, will you tell me how this came to be? I do not understand, for 1 know you love Lord Llewelyn- "Yes ... I do. And I will try to answer you, Glynis. But there is something I must do first. Did you bring parchment, pen and ink. Glynis nodded sadly. "They were the very first items I packed, . lady." ^ It took Joanna most of the afternoon to compose the letter o ^ ^ husband. Again and again she had to scrape the parchment clean,