"Damn straight, I was. You're my baby brother." We both laugh a little as we discuss childhood memories.
Anything to steer the conversation away from Sophia and Kara. Even thinking their names in the same thought is almost too much for me to handle. My life has taken a twisted path with no sight of sunlight through the trees.
At this point, I never know if I'm coming or going.
The only thing that makes any sense to me right now is the desire to have a child. After Kara's miscarriage, I realized how much hope the pregnancy had given me. I was eager to wake up each morning and check on Kara. Eager to see each sonogram so that we could track the baby’s growth and development. Just eager ... and that's something I haven't felt in two years.
Now that's it's gone––I don't want to feel at all.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Kara
It's been eight weeks since my miscarriage and at my last visit, Abbi said I was ready to proceed with the embryo transfer. I'll be visiting Dr. Carter in a couple of days for my next implant procedure, and I'm just hoping that everything goes off without any complications. My nerves have been on edge, and I've tried everything possible to occupy my mind and time over the past couple of weeks.
Will has been preoccupied with work and clinical trials that he's heading up, but I can tell that it's all just a means to occupy his mind as well. He doesn't really know how to act around me now. But tonight, I'm going to try to cheer him up a little by making him a nice dinner.
I'm making homemade spaghetti and meatballs using Muriel's recipe. Will loves Italian food, so I'm hoping dinner will be a hit with him.
I'm setting the table when I hear the garage door opening and then a moment later closing as Will comes in from work. I rush to get the wine glasses and everything set in place before he comes through the door.
Just as I'm lighting the candles, I hear his keys hitting the glass bowl in the mudroom.
"Kara?" he calls out.
I smile. Whether he realizes it or not, he's gotten used to coming home and me being here. It's not been an easy transition, but it's one he's become accustom to.
When I don't answer, he calls out for me again while walking through the kitchen. "Kara, are you here?" The days of him calling me Ms. Murphy are long gone. Formality forgotten, we've settled into an almost domestic lifestyle together. Even if we're not lovers, we care about one another. The rest will come ... in time. I hope.
"In here," I answer, lighting the last candle.
He steps into the dining room and comes to an abrupt stop. He looks momentarily confused. Almost like a spouse who has forgot an important anniversary. I can't help but laugh at him.
"Did I forget something?" he asks, his eyes taking in the romantic setting.
I smile and reach to pull him by his arm to his seat. "No, you didn't forget anything. I just wanted to have a nice dinner and a glass of wine. Is that all right?"
He looks down at the bowl of spaghetti and grins. "Sounds perfect."
I can't help the smile that breaks through my carefully poised expression. "I was hoping you'd say that."
He takes a seat and places his napkin in his lap before reaching over to grab the pasta bowl and scooping some out onto his plate. I take my seat next to him and pull a breadstick out for me and then pull one out for him. Setting one on each of our plates.
"Wine?" I ask.
"Most definitely." He grins. I stand to grab the bottle from the bucket of ice at the end of the table.
I struggle to open the bottle,, so he stands and crosses the distance to take it from me. "Here, let me."
I nod and sit back down while he pops the cork and proceeds to fill our wine glasses before placing the bottle back down in the ice bucket.
When he sits down, I raise my wine glass. "A toast ...” He cocks a brow in question as he raises his glass to meet mine. "To making babies." We both begin to laugh as we clink our glasses together.
"To making babies," he toasts back.
I sip on my wine as I watch him dig into his spaghetti with gusto. He closes his eyes after the first bite and moans in delight. "Mmmm ...” He chews slowly and then swallows before opening his eyes again. "That's delicious."
I can't help the happiness that radiates through my grin. "I was hoping you'd like it. It's Muriel's recipe." At his questioning glance, I respond. “She’s one of the ladies at the shelter. I’ve been taking cooking classes with her.”
He nods and then takes a couple of more bites and another drink of his wine. "It’s fantastic. By far, the best spaghetti I've ever eaten."
"The meatballs are pork rolled up with her secret spices. I'd have to kill you if I told you what was in them." I giggle.
Will smiles sweetly at me. "We can't have that now, can we?"
"I should think not." I playfully smack at his arm.
We carry on like this all through dinner. Flirting and drinking wine until we're both feeling the effects of the alcohol.
"Your cheeks are as red as the wine. I'll bet they taste as good too."
I set my glass down and a giggle bubbles over my lips. "I don't know. You'd have to test that theory, Mr. Scott."
He crinkles his nose in distaste. "Don't call me that. We've been through too much together for you to be so formal with me."
"But I thought that's what you wanted. A formal relationship. A business relationship."
His face screws up, eyes narrowing. "Are we being one hundred percent honest tonight?"
I gulp down my wine and give a timid nod. "Yes."
He leans forward, taking my hand in his and bringing it to his lips. "I want nothing of the sort. What I want … is you beneath me. I want to be deep inside you. My mouth devouring yours. Our bodies pressed together in the heat of passion as I take what I've wanted for longer than I care to admit." He extends my index finger and slowly, sensually, sucks it into his mouth. His tongue swirling around the tip. "I want to do very wicked things to you, Kara. Things that should never cross my mind, but I want them all the same."
He kisses the inside of my wrist, and I gasp. The sensation so unexpected that goose bumps break out over my skin. "I want to lick you from your delectable neck all the way down to the sweet spot between your sexy thighs. Would it be wet when the heat of my breath caressed it before I sucked your clit into my mouth?"
I squirm in my seat. Heat turning to liquid between my thighs as his words strike a chord that vibrates all the way down to my core. "Yes," I whisper brokenly as my breathing comes out in choppy breaths.
He stands so quickly that the chair falls over behind him and before I can even register what he's doing, he's pulling me up and into his arms. His mouth crashing down on mine. Our tongues meeting in a lustful duel that leaves me breathless.
His hands are everywhere. Pulling. Tearing. Caressing. In a matter of moments, we're at the door to his bedroom, and then he's setting me down on his bed. All along the way, he's pulling my clothes off, one layer at a time, until my bare skin glides over his silk sheets.
He steps back, looking down on me with a hungry gaze. His eyes devouring the sight of my naked body.
He undoes his belt, the button, and the zipper to his slacks. His pants and boxer briefs fall in perfect unison with one another to the floor. Then he proceeds to unlace his tie and remove his shirt ... button by button. When he's finally standing before me in all his glory, I can't help the appreciative gaze that sweeps over his thickly corded muscles.
Like ropes of steel his body is stacked with layer upon layer of sculpted muscles. He's not big in the bodybuilder sense, but he's so toned that his shoulders stand broad and proud before me. His biceps flex as he leans down and pulls my hips to the edge of the bed.
His eyes leave mine as he settles down to his knees, his mouth closing in on my sex.
The next thing I know, his tongue is on me, in me, and devouring me with the single-minded devotion of making me climax.
I cry out, the pleasure building like a tsunami deep
inside my core. Building and building until I can feel my legs begin to tremble and my hips start to buck. He locks my hips down with a strong arm over my pelvis. "So beautiful." He groans out just before he sucks my clit into his hot mouth, and I fly over the edge with my release.
"Aghhh, oh god," I cry out. My body buckling from the intensity of my climax as wave after crashing wave of release rushes through my body.
Before I can recover, he's on top of me, and with a single thrust, he seats himself deep inside my body.
I gasp. His size stretching me to the point of pain, but it’s quickly consumed by the mind-numbing pleasure as he thrusts over and over deep inside me.
His mouth comes down on mine with a bruising force that leaves me lightheaded.
I taste myself in his mouth, and it only serves to make me crazy with desire. I dig my nails into his back and arch my hips up to meet him thrust for thrust.
"Harder," I cry out, and he buries his head in my shoulder as he works his hands behind my back, his fingers digging into the backs of my shoulders as he grips them for leverage to go harder, deeper, and faster.
"Oh, god. Will, please ...” He twists his hips so his cock hits my g-spot, and I spin into a dizzying climax. Hot blades of silk slither down my spine and my body rockets into another dimension of sheer ecstasy.
"Kara ...” He moans as he finds his own release. Hot jets of cum shooting deep inside my core.
He collapses onto his forearms and lays his head down on my chest. I run my fingers through the hair on the back of his head and then over his shoulders before repeating the pattern.
Both of us lie there trying to catch our breaths before any words are uttered.
"That was amazing," I whisper.
"You've ruined me." He chuckles darkly. His tone still gravelly from our rough love making.
After a few minutes, he gets up to get a towel to clean us both off. When he's satisfied we're both clean, he climbs into bed next to me and pulls me into the warmth of his arms. Before long, his breaths grow heavier as sleep claims him.
"I love you," I whisper, knowing that he'll never know I said it, but feeling some sense of relief at having said it anyway.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Will
"I'll see you both in two weeks. We'll perform the blood test and sonogram then. I want you both to have a relaxing weekend. No strenuous activity for the next couple of weeks for you, Kara." We both look at each other and then at Dr. Carter.
Will has a decidedly smug smirk on his face, and I look guilty as sin. If the other night is considered strenuous activity, then we're screwed because I plan to practice that kind of activity for as long as my body allows.
"What about sex?" Will asks.
Dr. Carter looks from my red face to Will's smug expression. A smile breaks out over his usually stern face. He pulls off his surgical gloves and gives Will a consolatory grin. "Well, I'd say to abstain for the next two weeks and then after, ease back in slowly. Nothing rough or over the top for the first eight weeks. Give the embryo time to settle in and the pregnancy time to progress.” He raises a finger to note the significance of his next words. “You also have to take into account that we’ve implanted two embryos this time. The likelihood of multiples is increased as a result. This would put Ms. Murphy on a high risk factor during the duration of her pregnancy.” Dr. Carter gives an indulgent nod. “But intercourse is still an option, if practiced carefully and in moderation.”
Will nods and turns to me with a big grin on his face. "Sounds good, Dr. Carter. Thank you for the advice."
"My pleasure. You two take care and call me if you need anything."
Dr. Carter winks at me as he leaves the procedure room and my face heats another ten shades of red.
I smack Will on the arm. "I can't believe you asked him that. That was so embarrassing."
He laughs. "Of course, I asked. After the other night, did you really expect me to live like a monk for the next nine months?" He eyes me for a minute before a pained expression crosses his face. "The next two weeks are going to be hell."
I giggle and smack at his arm playfully. "I think you'll survive." He gives me a look that suggests otherwise, and I laugh.
We wait out our twenty minutes laughing and kidding with each other. It's the most at ease we've ever been around each other. It's also the first time that Will has publicly acknowledged that we were an item in front of anyone. That makes me so dang happy. To know he's no longer running from what's between us. It gives me hope for the future––our future.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Kara
I flush the toilet and hang my head to the side. The morning, afternoon, and pretty much all the time sickness has begun. I haven't said anything to Will. He's been hovering whenever he's at home, and the last thing I need is for him to play nurse mate to a barfing pregnant woman.
The cold water splashes against my face, and I blot it dry with a soft towel then rinse my mouth out. After I'm finished gurgling, I turn sideways to look at my slightly bulging tummy. The beginning of a baby bump is barely noticeable to anyone but me, but I notice everything changing about my body with this pregnancy. I pull my shirt up and turn from side to side, carefully examining myself.
With the first pregnancy, I was worried about growing attached to the baby and then having to give it away. Now, I look forward to growing attached to the little ones I'm carrying. That's right—twins. Dr. Carter confirmed last week that both embryos took.
Will is very doting and has hired a nurse to stop in and help me with anything I may need whenever he's at work. I know he's trying to be helpful, but I like cooking breakfast and dinner for him by myself. I don't like the thought of a stranger being here during moments where he allows himself to let loose. Moments when he leans over to kiss me or bends down to kiss my belly. It feels intrusive to have someone witness those moments. They're for us to share together.
I've grown attached to him and the way he takes such good care of me. His kindness, loyalty, and devotion are admirable traits, but it's also the way he looks at me. Like I'm the only woman in the world. He's constantly telling me how beautiful I am, and I think I'm finally starting to believe him.
Even though I'm pregnant, I've never felt more comfortable in my own skin. Things are really looking up for me. I like the friends I've made since I've been here. I enjoy spending time with Abbi and listening to her crazy stories about her and Will's childhood. I look forward to seeing the ladies at the shelter.
These past ten weeks have brought more normalcy to my life than I've had in the past ten years.
"Get it together." I chastise myself, shaking my head as I pull my shirt back down over my belly. My eyes catch my expression in the mirror, and I stop. I brace my hands against the sink and lean in to stare into my own eyes. This isn't the same woman who looked back at me all those months ago. She was frightened and a shell of a human being. But this woman, this woman looks like she has something to live for. She looks like she's on the cusp of discovering something great about the life she's leading. She looks ... loved.
"Kara?" Will calls out a second before he gently pokes his head through the crack of the door. "Is everything all right?" he asks, concern pulling a V between his dark brows.
I jump, stumbling back away from the sink. In a split second, he's there. Arms wrapped around me, he’s pulling me against his hard chest and hugging me protectively, before quickly releasing me. But I don't miss his hesitation before he finally releases me. That one second delay tells me more than any words could––He cares.
"I'm sorry. You startled me. That's all." A wild wisp of hair falls into my eyes, and I quickly swipe it out of the way before raising my eyes to his.
He scratches the back of his neck, looking perplexed by my reaction. "I should have knocked, but I thought I heard you getting sick a minute ago, and then you went quiet. I was worried something had happened and came to check on you." His hands fall to his sides as he releases a heavy sigh,
his body going slack at the realization that I'm okay.
"I was just ...” I pause, looking down at my stomach and trying to figure out how to tell him what exactly it was that I was doing.
A gentle finger nudges my chin up so that I'm face to face with him. "Truth?" He gives a soft smile, and I return it then nod.
"I was looking at my stomach." The heat surges up my neck and over my cheeks as my embarrassment rises. "I'm starting to show." My words are barely more than a whisper, but he grins nonetheless, having heard every word spoken, and even the unspoken.
"You've nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. It's perfectly natural for you to be excited about the changes, or even scared. But I want you to always be comfortable talking to me about what you're experiencing. I want to be here for you whenever you need me. All right?" He raises his brows in question, eyeing me for a minute before he finally sees what he's looking for and gives a soft nod. He leans down and kisses me on the forehead before stepping back.
"I'm sorry. This is all so new to me. I'm trying to adjust; it's just going to take a little more time. But I am trying."
The backs of his fingers run down the inside of my arm, weaving a slow and torturous trail toward my hand where hooks up and over my wrist and grazes the top of my hand before pulling away.
My eyes flash up to his. His dusky lashes give his hazel eyes a smoldering look that with one glance lights me up from the inside out. With one look, I melt. I don't know how he does it, but he affects me like no other. His presence. His gaze. No matter how much I try to deny it, I'm in love with Will Scott.
"Come with me." He tilts his head in the direction of the kitchen. "I have dinner ready." His deep baritone pulls me from the haze of my lust-filled thoughts and back to reality.
He exits the bathroom, and I stand there for a minute, trying to collect myself, but most of all, I’m trying to figure out how in the hell I'm going to survive the rest of this pregnancy with my heart intact. I know he cares for me. But that doesn't mean he loves me.
A Whisper Of Solace Page 11