The Roommate Arrangement

by Jae

  “Actually, I had a feeling you had it in you,” Claire said. “Ever since you gave me that ‘happiness can’t be planned like your retirement fund’ speech.”

  Steph squinted at her. “I did?”

  “Yeah. When you pointed out that my feelings for Lana weren’t so fake after all. You told me to put my heart on the line and hope for the best.”

  Steph wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, I guess I said that. But it sounded so much better when it was about you, not about me. That putting-my-heart-on-the-line thing is scaring me shitless.”

  Claire wrapped one arm around her. “Welcome to the club, sis.”

  “What club?” their mother asked as she walked up to them with Lana.

  “The club of best comedians in LA,” Claire answered.

  Steph gave her a grateful nod. She wasn’t eager to discuss her new relationship with her mother again.

  Lana handed Claire a glass of champagne and gave Steph a warm hug. “In the entire country,” she corrected. “You were great.”

  “Thanks.” Steph accepted a hug from her mother too, who hadn’t said anything yet. That wasn’t like her at all. “What did you think, Mom?” she asked quietly.

  “I won’t lie. It was a little strange at first to hear you talk about us like that.” Her mother shrugged. “But humor has always been your coping mechanism.”

  “Mom, can you please stop the psychobabble for once and just tell me what you thought?”

  “Well, your father couldn’t stop laughing at that Freudian slip joke.”

  Claire snorted. “Dad. Sure. That’s who was giggling at that joke.”

  “All right.” Their mother finally broke into a grin. “I might have laughed a little too. Don’t tell the APsaA.”

  “APsaA?” Lana asked.

  “The American Psychoanalytic Association,” Steph, Claire, and their mother said in unison.

  Her mother slid one arm around Steph’s hips. “Don’t worry, honey. I got over myself quickly. Mostly, I was in awe. I couldn’t believe it was my daughter up there, dazzling an entire roomful of strangers with her brilliant jokes.”

  “Um, thanks.” Steph peered at her mother, waiting for a but. It took her a while to realize it wasn’t coming. That would take some getting used to. “Where’s Dad?”

  “He went to the lobby with your friends Penny and Kim,” her mother said. “There’s a table where they’re selling your DVD.”

  Steph hung limply in her mother’s half-embrace. After ten years of her job not being taken seriously, it felt great to finally get some praise. But at the same time, she couldn’t help being angry. Why hadn’t her family managed to be so supportive from the start?

  “Hi, everyone.” Rae strode up to them, her broad shoulders clearing a path through the crowd.

  The sight of her was a relief. Steph struggled to stay at her mother’s side. Her body wanted to gravitate toward Rae like a piece of iron drawn to a magnet.

  “Sorry to interrupt,” Rae said. “Do you have a minute, Steph? Mr. Hicks would like to talk to you.”

  “Oh, sure. I’ll be right back, guys.” Steph slid her arm through Rae’s left one to help her navigate through the crowd as they walked off in the direction of Mr. Hicks’s office. But truth be told, she needed that connection just as much.

  Rae tugged her past the office to the greenroom and closed the door behind them.

  “Um, Mr. Hicks wants to talk to me here?”

  “No,” Rae said. “He didn’t really tell me to get you. I only said that because you looked pissed off, so I thought I’d give you a chance to get away from your family.”

  Steph rubbed her face. “Was it that obvious?”

  “It was to me. What happened? Didn’t they like the show?” Rae let out a growl. “Fuck them. You were great.”

  Her passionate defense made Steph’s anger melt away. “No, they liked it. They’re suddenly buying my DVD and telling me how proud they are. I mean, it feels great, but at the same time, it’s a little late. I could have used that kind of support ten years ago.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” Rae wrapped both arms around Steph and drew her against her body. “You deserve better. But better late than never, right?”

  Steph slid her arms beneath Rae’s suit jacket and buried her face against her shoulder, breathing in her soothing scent. “Right. I hear I have you to thank for that.” When Rae stiffened in her arms, she squeezed her softly. “Don’t worry. I’m not angry. I’m very grateful.” She looked up at her. “Oh, by the way: Happy New Year.”

  Rae chuckled. “Happy New Year.”

  Finally, Steph got to do what she had wanted to do since she had started the countdown to the new year. She curled one hand behind Rae’s neck and pulled her down for a kiss.

  Their mouths melded together in a perfect blend of passion and tenderness.

  Steph made a humming sound of pleasure in the back of her throat. Just as she was about to deepen the kiss, the door to the greenroom swept open.

  They both quickly pulled away from each other. Damn. If Mr. Hicks or one of his assistant managers caught them making out in the club, Rae could get in trouble, or he might refuse to ever let her take the stage again, no matter how great she had been tonight.

  But it wasn’t Mr. Hicks who stood frozen in the doorway, staring at them.

  “Shit, Steph.” Gabe shook his head at her. “What happened to no flings with club employees?”

  Steph looked him in the eyes. “That rule is still firmly in place.”

  “Cut the bullshit. I saw you two—”

  “What you saw isn’t a fling.” Steph reached for Rae’s hand and held it firmly. She looked at Rae, who gave her a nod. “Rae and I…we’re in a relationship.”

  Gabe laughed, then stopped abruptly when Steph didn’t join in. “You’re serious?”

  “Dead serious.”

  “But you don’t do relationships.”

  The steady pressure of Rae’s hand around hers gave Steph the courage to say, “I do now.”

  Gabe crossed the room and plopped down onto the couch as if his legs refused to carry him any longer.

  Rae squeezed Steph’s hand. “Do you two want to talk alone?”

  That was probably a good idea. Steph reluctantly let go of Rae’s hand.

  But before Rae could leave or Steph could walk over and sit next to him, the door opened again.

  This time, it was Mr. Hicks who stuck his head into the greenroom. “Ah, there you are.” He crooked his finger at Steph. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

  Shit. His timing couldn’t have been worse. Now she’d have to leave Rae alone with Gabe, who was still looking pretty upset. But she didn’t have a choice, so she forced a smile. “Sure.” She looked over at Gabe. “I’ll catch you later, okay?”

  “Whatever.”

  Ouch. As Steph walked to the door, she threw a regretful gaze at Rae. If Gabe hurt her because he was angry with Steph, she would kick his sorry ass.

  The door closing behind Steph sounded awfully loud.

  Rae moved to follow her. “I’d better go back to work. It’s not fair to let my colleagues do all the work of securing the club.”

  “Oh, but it’s fair to drop that bomb on me and then leave?” Gabe shot back.

  Damn. Rae turned back toward him. Her throat tightened as she saw the hurt look on his face. She hated situations like this.

  “How long has this…thing between you two,” Gabe waved his hand back and forth, “been going on?”

  His tone made the little hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. “It’s not a thing.” She struggled to speak quietly. “I know you and I barely know each other, but you could at least show some respect for Steph.”

  He slumped against the back of the couch and crossed his arms over his chest. “Yeah, like she’s respecting m
e by sneaking around instead of telling me what’s going on between the two of you.”

  “We aren’t sneaking around. We just… This is new, okay? Very new.”

  Gabe stared off into space for a while. Finally, he directed his gaze back at Rae and shook his head. “Steph Renshaw is in a relationship. How the hell did you manage that when she wouldn’t even let me stay for breakfast the next morning?”

  Rae tried not to think about what had gone on between him and Steph. There was no reason to be jealous. Whatever they’d shared was in the past and didn’t matter anymore. “I wish I knew.” If she did, she could do more of it. “Just lucky, I guess.”

  He sighed.

  Rae studied him. Was he hurt because Steph hadn’t told him sooner, or was there more going on?

  “What?” he asked.

  “Nothing.” She didn’t want to get into this topic with him.

  “Come on.” He waved both hands at her. “Spit it out.”

  Shit. No way out now. “Well, you know, the way you’re acting makes me wonder… You’re not still in love with her, are you?”

  “Nope,” he answered without hesitation. “But you are, aren’t you?”

  The question made her stop breathing for a moment. Was she? The answer rose from deep inside of her, where, if she was honest with herself, it had lurked for some time. She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when it had happened, but she knew without a doubt that it had. She was in love with Steph. Her mind spun with a mix of giddiness, joy, and panic. She took two shaky steps and plopped down at the other end of the couch.

  He looked at her with an expectant gaze.

  Rae didn’t want to reveal her innermost feelings to a guy she barely knew, especially since she hadn’t even told Steph, but neither did she want to deny it. “Yes.” Her voice was barely more than a rasp, so she looked at him and repeated a little more firmly, “Yes, I am.”

  He gaped at her as if he hadn’t expected that answer. Then he gave her a grudging nod. “At least you had the guts to admit it to her. I didn’t back then.”

  Rae stared at the mess of chips crumbs and bottle caps on the table. “I haven’t, um, told her yet.”

  “Yeah, you’d better not. It’ll make her run.”

  Would it really? Fear crawled up the back of her neck. She swallowed against the lump that had lodged in her throat.

  “To answer your question,” Gabe said. “I got over her a long time ago.”

  Rae gave him a disbelieving look. How could anyone get over a woman like Steph?

  “Really,” he said. “Yolanda and I are a much better fit. I admit that it rankles a little that Steph jumped into a relationship with you so quickly, while she wouldn’t even consider it with me, but that’s all. I’m her friend, nothing more.” Gabe’s voice became more forceful. “And as her friend, this is the moment where I tell you that I will pull your guts out through your nostrils if you hurt her.”

  Rae knew she could have him on the floor, struggling helplessly against her grip, in two seconds, but that wasn’t the issue. She gave him a respectful nod. “I’ll do whatever I can to not make that happen.”

  “Good.”

  “And speaking of hurting Steph… Please don’t give her a hard time about not telling you sooner.”

  “All right.” He got up and went to the fridge. “Beer?”

  “No, thanks. I need to get back to work.” As she walked to the door, her legs still felt a little rubbery. Would Steph really run if she told her she loved her?

  When Mr. Hicks handed her the envelope with her payment, Steph took it, but instead of opening it and counting the money, she just held on to it and gave him a questioning look.

  “What?” He leaned back in his desk chair. “What else are you waiting for?”

  She faced him across the desk. “Maybe a ‘well done’?”

  He gave her a you’re-a-pain-in-the-butt look but nodded grudgingly. “All right. Well done. I admit you’re funny.”

  Steph knew she shouldn’t say it, but she couldn’t help herself from adding, “For a woman.”

  “Let’s get one thing straight, Ms. Renshaw. Despite whatever you might have heard, I have nothing against women—in general or in comedy.”

  Steph knew there was a but coming even before he said it.

  “But because there are fewer women in comedy, some of them are given spots in a lineup before they’re ready, just as the token lady, not because they’re good.”

  Steph stood her ground. “Then maybe we need to work on encouraging and supporting female comics to get more of them into stand-up…and to keep them.”

  “Well, I hired you, didn’t I? And you turned out to be good, so it’s a moot point.” He cracked a smile. “Looks like I won’t have to fire Rae after all.”

  “Fire Rae?” Steph echoed. What the hell? “Why would you want to fire her? She’s great at her job!”

  He shrugged. “That’s what she said about you too when I asked her opinion.”

  “Wait. Are you saying…?” Steph bit her lip. “You only booked me because Rae recommended me?”

  “Why wouldn’t I? My door staff sees more comics than anyone else. If anyone knows who’s good, it’s them, and I freely admit that Rae was right.”

  It made perfect sense, but still Steph wasn’t sure how she felt about getting her biggest gig of the year because of the recommendation of someone she was involved with. One more reason why she had avoided flings with club staff.

  Yeah, but with Rae, it’s not just a fling, that new voice inside of her said. With other people, she might have wondered if they had only recommended her to get her into bed, but she knew Rae had done it because she believed in her. The warm glow she still hadn’t gotten used to spread through her chest again.

  “You okay?” Mr. Hicks laughed. “Getting a compliment from me didn’t stun you into silence, did it?”

  “No. I’m fine.” More than fine, actually. For the first time in her life, everything seemed to be going right instead of her barely keeping things together. She shrugged into her blazer and slid the envelope into the inside pocket. “I’ll call next week to talk about the next show I could headline.”

  He gave her an impassive look. “What makes you think I’ll let you headline again?”

  “Women’s intuition,” Steph said. “And my math skills. I talked to several people who said they’d come back to see me again, so it’s not like you’re losing money on me.”

  “Get out of here.” It sounded as if he was suppressing a grin, though.

  Steph walked to the door with a bounce in her step, ready to go rescue Rae from Gabe and go home.

  CHAPTER 25

  After Steph had briefly talked to Gabe and they had said goodbye to Steph’s parents, Claire, Lana, Penny, and Kim, it was after two in the morning when they left the club.

  Rae paused in the parking lot to deeply breathe in the night air and to give Steph a chance to circle around to her left side, which Steph promptly did.

  Her right hand found Rae’s left one without losing even a second.

  Rae squeezed her fingers. Amazing how natural and right it all felt. She had never thought that she’d have this again…if she’d ever really had it, at least to this degree.

  “Careful.” Steph pulled her a little to the side and steered her around a pothole when Rae misjudged its distance.

  A few months ago, it would have made Rae feel helpless, angry with herself, and determined to work harder to not need that kind of assistance. Now she didn’t waste any energy on thoughts like that.

  She kept glancing over at Steph, trying to make out her face in the light of the streetlamps they passed. Was it possible that Steph returned her feelings and was just as scared to say anything? This pull between them wouldn’t be so strong if this were one-sided, would it?

  Steph caressed t
he back of Rae’s hand with her thumb. “Everything okay?”

  “Hmm, yeah.”

  “Gabe didn’t give you a hard time, did he? I think he had a bit too much to drink. Not that it’s any excuse for being an ass…if he was.”

  Rae returned the caress to Steph’s hand. “Nah. He was fine.”

  “What is it, then?”

  Damn. Steph knew her too well already. Rae’s heartbeat thudded so loudly that she didn’t even hear the sound of their steps along the sidewalk anymore. A cold prickle of sweat broke out along her back as Gabe’s warning echoed through her mind: It’ll make her run.

  But what if it didn’t? Gabe hadn’t expected Steph to ever be in a relationship either. What if he was wrong? Rae had promised herself not to endanger what she had with Steph the same way she had destroyed her relationship with Lise, by not talking about her feelings. She took a steadying breath and decided to trust that kernel of hope in her belly. “I…” Her voice didn’t sound like her own, so she cleared her throat. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  Steph soothingly rubbed her hand. “I already know.”

  Rae’s head jerked around. “Y-you do?”

  Steph smiled and nodded.

  Oh. She knew and she was still smiling? That was good, wasn’t it? The kernel of hope expanded to fill her entire chest. “So…what do you think?”

  “It’s okay. Actually, scratch that. It’s more than okay. It feels really good.”

  Relief flooded Rae with such intensity that it made her light-headed. “It does?” God, she sounded ridiculous, always echoing Steph’s statements.

  “Yeah. At first, I was a little… I don’t know. I guess it hurt my ego a bit.”

  What the…? Rae stared at her. How could knowing Rae loved her hurt her ego?

  “Don’t worry. I’m over it,” Steph said.

  “Over it?”

  Steph nodded. “I realized it’s actually wonderful to have you believe in me like that. I know you risked a lot.”

  Hell, yeah. She was risking her heart here. But somehow, she got the feeling they were talking about two different things. “Um, what do you mean?”