The Right Reason to Marry

by Christine Rimmer

  She cast desperately about for something meaningful to say. “Liam, I really am so sorry to—”

  “Stop.” He actually showed her the hand.

  And then he spun on his heel again and paced off toward the stairs, shaking his head as he went, turning right back around and coming toward her once more, halting stock-still a few feet from where she waited. He looked wrecked, ruined, but he held his broad shoulders straight and proud. “Last March, when you broke it off with me, did you know you were pregnant then?”

  She wanted to lie to him, make herself look a fraction less like a complete jerk for the way she’d handled the situation. But she didn’t lie. “Yeah. I knew then.”

  His forehead crinkled in a frown. “You broke it off, but you didn’t bother to tell me you were having my kid?”

  “I felt awful. I couldn’t make myself admit to you that we were having a baby. I mean, why me? How many women have you been with?”

  He fell back a step. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

  “Liam. I know you. I grew up with you. We were in the same grade at school. We even went on two dates in high school, remember?”

  “Of course, I remember.”

  “My, um, point is, you’re hot and easy to be with. The women have always loved you and you have loved them right back. How many of those women did you get pregnant?”

  “Karin.” He was pulling his hair again. So strange to see him like this, at a loss. Undone. “Come on, now. Where is this going?”

  “The answer is none of them, right—not until me?”

  Now he looked worried. “Why do I feel like anything I say right now is going to be wrong?”

  “Oh, please. No. You are not wrong. This is not your fault—it’s not my fault, either, though. Or at least, that’s what I keep telling myself. But I also can’t help asking myself, why does the condom fail only for me? Why couldn’t I have sense enough to get back on the pill—or better yet, get a contraceptive implant? But every time you and I got together, I really thought it would be the last time. What was the point, I asked myself? I wouldn’t be having sex with anyone again anytime soon. But then I would get a free evening and I would remember how you said to give you a call anytime—I mean, think about it. Four times, we got together.”

  That first time had been last December, at Christmastime. Then there’d been once in January, once in February and that last time in March. The first time, she’d promised herself it would be the only time. The second time, too. And that was the one where the condom must have failed.

  After that, it hadn’t mattered anyway, whether she got herself an implant or not.

  “Four times together,” she muttered, “and this happens.” She looked down and shook her head at her protruding belly. “What is the matter with me, to do that to you?”

  “Uh, Karin, I—”

  “No, really. You don’t have to answer that. It’s not a question that even needs an answer. And I swear I was going to tell you about the baby that last time, in March. I saw that last night as my chance to let you know what was happening...” She ran out of breath. But he only kept on staring.

  So she sucked in another breath and babbled on. “When I called you that night in March, I swear it was my plan to tell you. But then, well, you kissed me and I kissed you back and I thought how much I wanted you and how long it was likely to be before I ever had sex with a man again. I thought, one more time, you know? I thought, what can it hurt?”

  Still, he said nothing.

  She couldn’t bear the awful silence, so she kept right on talking. “I promised myself I would tell you afterward, but then afterward came, and the words? They wouldn’t come and then I started thinking that you didn’t need to know for months. Liam, I messed up, okay? I messed up and then I didn’t reach out and the longer I didn’t, the harder it got. And now, well...” She lifted her arms out the sides. “Here we are.”

  He just continued to look at her through disbelieving eyes. For a really long time. She longed to open her mouth again and fill the silence with the desperate sound of her own voice. But she’d already jabbered out that endless and completely unhelpful explanation of essentially nothing. Really, what more was there to add to all the ways she’d screwed up?

  He broke the silence. “I have to leave now.”

  She felt equal parts relieved—and desolate. “Okay.”

  “But I will be back.”

  “Of course.”

  “We’ll talk more.”

  What was she supposed to say to that? “Sure. Whenever you’re ready.”

  “Okay. Soon.” And then he was striding away from her for the fourth time.

  She watched as he vanished into the stairwell and didn’t move so much as a muscle until she heard his car start up outside and drive away. After that, for several grim seconds, she thought she might cry, just bawl her eyes out because she felt so terrible about everything and she’d done such a crap job of telling poor Liam he had a baby on the way.

  The tears never came, though. Eventually, she turned around and stared blindly out at the ocean for a while.

  By the time she remembered her raspberry leaf tea, it was cold.

  Chapter Two

  Liam got halfway to the gorgeous house he’d built for himself in nearby Astoria before he realized that he needed to talk to his oldest brother Daniel.

  Years ago, when their parents died, Daniel, eighteen at the time, essentially took over as the head of the Bravo family. He became a second father to all of them. Daniel was only four years older than Liam. Didn’t matter. When Liam needed fatherly advice, he usually sought out his oldest brother.

  He called Daniel’s cell from the car.

  “Where are you?” Liam demanded when Daniel picked up.

  “Hi to you, too. I’m at the office.” Daniel ran the family business, Valentine Logging. “What do you need?”

  “Long story. I’ll be there in ten.”

  “Good enough.”

  Valentine Logging had its headquarters on the Warrenton docks between Valentine Bay and Astoria. Liam parked in front of the hangar-like building that housed the offices.

  Daniel was waiting. He ushered Liam into his private office, shut the door and gestured toward the sitting area on one side of the room. “You look like hell. What’s going on?”

  “I need to talk.” Liam sank to the leather sofa. “You know Karin Killigan?”

  “Of course.” Daniel dropped into the club chair.

  “Karin and me, we had a thing last winter.”

  Daniel frowned. “Wait a minute—Karin’s pregnant, right?”

  “Yeah. How did you know?” Did everyone know but him?

  “Keely told me.” Keely was Daniel’s wife.

  “How did Keely know?”

  “She hung out a little with Karin at Madison and Sten’s wedding. According to Keely, Karin was noticeably pregnant then—but you missed the wedding, right?”

  “Right.” He’d felt bad to miss it, but he’d had a work conflict in Portland, one he couldn’t put off or get out of.

  Liam owned Bravo Trucking, which he’d built up from a few rigs that hauled strictly for Valentine Logging into a fleet with over two hundred trucks and two hundred fifty employees. His original terminal was nearby, right there in Warrenton. Last year, he’d opened one in Portland, too.

  Daniel was leaning forward again. “Are you saying the baby is yours?”

  “Yeah.” The word scraped his throat as he said it. “Karin says she’s been trying for months to work up the nerve to tell me. I probably still wouldn’t know if I hadn’t seen her coming out of Safeway a couple of hours ago.” And he had that feeling again, like if he sat still, he might just lose his mind. So he jumped up, paced to the door and then paced back again.

  Daniel said, “You never mentioned you were dati
ng Karin.”

  “Dating?” He stopped by Daniel’s chair. “I wouldn’t call it dating. It was only a few times, whenever she could get away. She wanted it kept just between the two of us. I agreed it would be the way she wanted it and I never told anyone else that we were hooking up.”

  “Liam,” Daniel said quietly. “Sit back down. Come on, man. It’s all going to work out.”

  He dropped to the couch again. “I guess I’m kind of in shock.”

  Daniel got up. “Scotch or water?”

  Liam braced his elbows on his spread knees and put his head in his hands. “Neither. Both.” Dropping his hands from his face, he flopped back against the cushions and stared up at the ceiling.

  Daniel asked, “Didn’t you and Karin date in high school?”

  “Briefly.” Liam shut his eyes. “I always thought Karin was cute, you know? Senior year, she asked me to a Sadie Hawkins dance. We had a great time. I took her out to a show a couple of weeks later. But when she started hinting that she wanted to be exclusive with me, I told her what I told all the girls, that I didn’t do virgins and I wasn’t getting serious with anyone. Ever.”

  “Classy,” remarked Daniel wryly. “And I’m guessing that was it for you and Karin in high school.”

  Liam let out a grunt in the affirmative. “When we met up last December, it was so great to reconnect with her. She’s smart. She takes zero crap, you know? A guy can’t get ahead of her. Better-looking than ever, too, with those gorgeous eyes that look blue at first glance but are actually swirled with green and gray. Plus, she has all that wild, dark hair. And her attitude is seriously snarky. She’s fun.” He couldn’t help recalling the shock and guilt on her face when he’d stopped her at Safeway. “Not so snarky today, though. She really felt bad, that she’d waited so long to tell me...”

  “Here you go.”

  Liam opened his eyes. Daniel stood over him, a bottle of water in one hand, a glass with two fingers of amber liquid in the other. “Thanks.” Liam set down the glass on the side table and took a long drink from the water bottle. “I should go.” He drank the rest of the water and set the empty bottle by the untouched glass of Scotch.

  “Hold on,” said Daniel. “I thought you said you needed to talk.”

  “I did talk.” He rose and clapped his brother on the shoulder. “Thanks for listening.”

  * * *

  Liam’s new house in Astoria was four thousand square feet and overlooked the Columbia River. He’d had a decorator in to furnish it in a sleek, modern style, lots of geometric patterns and oxidized oak, pops of deep color here and there.

  As a rule, coming home made him feel pretty good about everything. He had a thriving business, a fat bank account and a gorgeous house. By just about any standards, he’d made a success of his life so far.

  Today, though, a big house and money in the bank didn’t feel all that satisfying. He was going to be a dad. Just like that. Out of the blue—at least, that was how it felt to him.

  Karin had kept saying that he didn’t have to do anything right now.

  Wrong.

  He needed to do something. He just didn’t really know what.

  Maybe he should call Deke Pasternak. Deke was in family law. A little legal advice couldn’t hurt about now, could it?

  The lawyer answered on the second ring. “Hey. Liam. Good to hear from you. How’ve you been?”

  “I just found out I’m going to be a father. Baby’s due in a week.”

  Usually a fast talker, Deke took several seconds to reply. “Well. Congratulations?” He said it with a definite question mark at the end.

  Two could play that game. “Thanks?”

  “So... You want to meet for a drink or something?”

  “How about a phone consultation?”

  Five slow beats of complete silence, after which Deke asked, “You okay, man?”

  “I’m working on it. Just bill me for this call and tell me what you think.”

  Deke did some throat-clearing. “What I think?”

  “Yeah.”

  “About your being a dad?”

  “That’s right.”

  “Are you asking as a friend or do you want my legal opinion?”

  “You’re billing me, aren’t you?”

  “Uh, sure. So this isn’t anyone you were dating seriously, then?”

  Liam thought of Karin again, standing there by the sliding glass door in her brother’s empty kitchen, looking miserable. “Why does that matter?”

  “Let me put it this way, how did you find out that the baby’s yours?”

  “She told me.”

  “Ah. Right there. That could be a problem.”

  “Well, she should have told me sooner, yeah. She admitted that.”

  “No, Liam. What I mean is, what she told you proves nothing.”

  “She’s seriously pregnant, man. I saw her with my own eyes.”

  “Not what I’m getting at. I’m trying to say that before you take her word for it, you need to let me arrange for DNA testing. It’s best to clear up any doubts right out of the gate. I hate to say it, but it’s a possibility that this baby isn’t even yours.”

  Liam had always been an easygoing sort of guy. He never got worked up about anything. But hearing Deke Pasternak imply that Karin Killigan had lied to him about her baby being his? That just pissed him the hell off. “You’re way off base there, Deke. She already mentioned a DNA test, as a matter fact. She’s a straight-ahead woman and she’s not trying to trap me.”

  “I’m just trying to help you.”

  “No. Uh-uh. You don’t know this woman.”

  “Well, I—”

  “She would never try to trap a man—she’s so independent, she called off our relationship before I could figure out a way to convince her that we should even have a relationship. She wasn’t even going to tell me about the baby until after the birth. I think she would have put off sharing the big news with me forever if that had been an option for her. But she’s a good woman and that wouldn’t be right. So, no. If she says the baby’s mine, it’s mine, damn it.”

  “Liam. Come on. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not disrespecting the, her, mother of your child.”

  “Yeah? Coulda fooled me.”

  “I only meant that it’s important to prove paternity once and for all. You need to get irrefutable proof and proceed from there. You do that, you know where you stand. And when you know where you stand, you can decide what to do next.”

  Why was he even talking to Deke? The guy had always irritated him. “You just don’t get it, do you, Deke? I’m going to be a father. Like in a week! I have no clue how to be someone’s dad.” True, in the past year or so, he had been thinking that it was time for him to start considering having a family of his own.

  But not in a week, for crying out loud!

  “I’m sorry, Liam. But I don’t really think it’s legal advice you’re looking for here.”

  Liam had to agree with that. “You’re right. Gotta go. Have a good one, Deke.”

  “You, too. Ping me anytime you—” Deke was still talking as Liam hung up.

  He dropped his phone on the sofa table, took off his boots and stretched out on the couch. That lasted maybe thirty seconds, at which point he realized that no way could he keep still.

  Sitting up again, he put his Timberlands back on.

  He needed to...know stuff. A lot was expected of a guy as a dad. Witness Daniel, for example. Married at nineteen with three brothers and four sisters to raise. And now he had twins from his first wife, Lillie, who’d died shortly after the twins’ birth. Twins, and a daughter with his second wife, Keely.

  The responsibilities never ended for a guy like Daniel. He worked all day and then went home to a wife, a couple of three-year-olds, a nine-month-old baby girl and their youngest sister Grace, who ha
dn’t moved out on her own yet. Daniel made it all look pretty effortless, mostly—or at least, he had since he and Keely got together. He was a happy man now.

  Liam could learn a lot from Daniel. He really shouldn’t have just jumped up and run out of his brother’s office like that. He had a million questions and Daniel would be the one to answer them.

  However, to get advice from Daniel, he would be required to sit still and listen. That wasn’t happening. Not now, not today.

  Grabbing his phone and the jacket he’d shucked off when he entered the house, he headed out again—back to Valentine Bay and Valentine Bay Books down in the historic district, where the fortyish blonde clerk greeted him with a big smile. “How can I help you?”

  “I’m having a baby. It’s my first and I need to know everything.”

  “Well, of course you do.” She led the way to the baby and childcare section and recommended a few books on first-time fatherhood.

  He grabbed those. “I’m just going to look around for a while.”

  She left him to it. An hour later, he’d chosen more than twenty new-dad and baby books. After all, he had a lot to learn. And that could take a lot of books.

  Back at home, he stuck a frozen pizza in the oven and sat down to begin his education in fatherhood.

  At two on Saturday morning, he was still reading. Not long after that, he must have dropped off to sleep. He woke to daylight at his breakfast nook table with his head resting on The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be.

  He made coffee, had a shower and called both of his offices, where for once everything seemed to be rolling along right on schedule.

  At a little after nine, he was knocking on the door of the house on Sweetheart Cove, a bag of baby books in one hand—just the ones he thought had the most to offer, in case he needed to refer to the experts while discussing his upcoming fatherhood with Karin.

  Karin’s daughter answered the door. She was a cute little thing with big blue eyes and curly hair in pigtails.

  “You came yesterday, didn’t you?” the child demanded at the sight of him.