In the Life

by Will Blue

  "It's nice that you had a good time," Sherrod said flatly without opening his eyes. He had heard the conversation through the door.

  "Yeah, thanks." Jackson didn't know what else to say. He just left it like that and went to his room.

  Chapter 19

  Every sit up that Jackson did burned more than the last. He was halfway through his second set of ten and already wanted to stop. He tried to think of the sculpted abs he would have with all of this hard work. Jackson conjured up images of Reggie Bush, Boris Kodjoe, and Michael Jai White. Even if he didn't get a body just like theirs, he was determined to try to get close. After all, they were damn near gods.

  Jackson pushed himself to do three more sets of ten and a few pushups. His lack of upper body strength made him stop after seven pushups. He knew that he had to do better. But as the old adage says, Rome wasn't built in a day.

  The workout worked up a thirst for Jackson. He exited his room to find that Sherrod was still on the couch nearly as he left him. The man's eyes popped open when Jackson entered the room. Jackson went on into the kitchen to get a glass of water before engaging Sherrod in conversation. While he was in there, he poured Sherrod a glass of fruit punch. He figured that they were probably about to have one of those talks where both of their mouths would end up parched. Jackson sat down beside Sherrod on the sofa and handed him the glass. Sherrod accepted it without speaking. A slight head nod as he reached for the juice served as his sign of appreciation.

  "So why are you out here on the sofa? Did you sleep out here all night?"

  "I sure did," Sherrod answered back before taking a swallow of punch.

  "But why is the question."

  "Well, I had a talk with Alonzo. I guess it was the one that you have already had with him. And…" Sherrod stopped talking for a moment. He craned his neck around the bend trying to detect Alonzo's presence in the house.

  "He left like thirty minutes ago. His cousin came to pick him up."

  "Going to the hospital? Yeah, he told me all about that. His mom and the cancer… That is some tough shit to go through."

  "Yeah, I know. Or at least I can imagine."

  "Anyway, after he told me, we talked for a while. I could tell that he felt better after telling me… well after telling us. He dozed off to sleep in my arms. Of course, my mind was going in so many directions. I felt so guilty as I held him, but I still had to talk to you. You know, see how you were doing. So I got up without waking him and went to your room, but you were already gone. I didn't want to wake Alonzo up so I just stayed out here. And then you came in after your date."

  "Yeah about that date," Jackson said feeling the need to explain. Sherrod waved away his response.

  "You don't owe me any kind of explanation. Really, you don't. I do hope you had a good time though. That is all that matters. I guess we are right where we were meant to be. I am with Alonzo and you are with that nigga." Sherrod did not attempt to hide his disdain for Tracy nor did Jackson try to correct Sherrod about the name.

  "So what do we do now?" Jackson looked up at Sherrod with sad eyes. This isn't what either of them wanted. However, it was what was needed.

  "We maintain our friendship and prepare for this whole roommate thing. From now on, that is all we can be." The words were painful for Sherrod to say and equally as painful for Jackson to hear.

  "Okay. I understand." Jackson stood up to leave, but Sherrod grabbed him by the arm. Taking hold of Jackson's body, Sherrod pulled him close for a kiss. It was beautiful, full of passion and pain at the same time. Neither one of them wanted to let go.

  Sherrod broke the kiss only so that he could pick Jackson up in his strong arms and carry him to the back. They went into Jackson's room and collapsed on the bed. Their tongues danced and played with other as clothes were being removed. They made love one last time. It was gentle and endearing. Their act was beyond sexual. The feelings involved made it intimate.

  Shortly after, Sherrod got up, hit the shower, and left the house without saying a word about where he was going. That was perfectly fine with Jackson. He knew that if Sherrod had come back in the room, they would be going at it again. Jackson, still naked, drifted asleep with a head full of thoughts. Some of them played out into his dreams. They were a hodgepodge of ideas, situations, and feelings. One moment he dreamt that he was on a game show fighting for Sherrod's love and the next he was sending Alonzo to the hospital sick with a broken heart.

  The nap was more like a short sleep. He should have been at work fifteen minutes ago and had overslept. Jackson picked up his phone and called in sick. Luckily, his favorite manager was on duty and didn't give Jackson any hassle. Jackson curled back under the covers and let the soft fabric caress his naked flesh. He thought about how good it felt to have his lips on top of Sherrod's. He thought about the passion that burned in Sherrod's eyes. Jackson could still feel Sherrod's dick inside of him. It had been the perfect mix of pain and pleasure.

  Jackson cell phone rang, but he did not move to answer it. He did not feel like talking to anyone. It was probably Mykel wondering why he wasn't at work. Jackson would explain it later. He knew Mykel still had to be filled in on the date with Tracy too so they would have quite a talk. The phone rang again. Jackson could tell from the designated chime on his phone that the caller had decided to leave a message. Jackson would check it later. All he wanted to do was lie in this bed and inhale the scent of Sherrod's cologne that was left in the pillows. Tomorrow, he would start anew. Things would be as they should be.

  Chapter 20

  Jackson was excited about his date later on that evening. He had been waiting on for it all week. Normally, he would be at home trying to fuss over the small details like what to wear and whether he had time to get a quick edge up at the barbershop. However, he was at work picking up a shift for a friend who needed the day off. If he could get off early enough, Jackson figured that he might still be able to hit up the barbershop but he would be screwed if his favorite barber had a line to get to his chair.

  Sherrod had been giving Jackson the eye all day while at work. It wasn't anything that one of their coworkers would have picked up on, but Jackson for damn sure did. It had been the same way at home as well. Jackson always had Sherrod's full attention. Their last sexual encounter was supposed to put to rest some of their sexual tension. It was meant to be an act of closure. That didn't end up happening though. Instead of the fire simmering down, a new passion had been ignited especially within Sherrod. Jackson knew that this was potentially a dangerous road to travel. He tried to focus on other things beside his burgeoning feelings for his soon to be roommate. For instance, his movie date with Tracy was a great distraction. Tracy had already called to confirm their date like four times. It made Jackson excited that Tracy seemed very eager to see him. He felt special.

  While Jackson was talking with a guest, his phone started to vibrate. He tried to hurry along the dialogue with the customer so that he could check to see who was calling him. He had to go to the restroom anyway. On the way to the employee bathroom in the back, Jackson pulled out his phone from his black server apron. Tracy had called again. Jackson chose not to give him a call back though. He didn't leave a message so it probably wasn't anything that couldn't wait for later. Sherrod slipped into the small bathroom before Jackson could even put away his phone and lock the door.

  "Sherrod?" Jackson questioned before being hushed with two lips pressing against his. The kiss took him by surprise but he relaxed into it. Sherrod pushed him against the wall and planted kisses all around his neck. Jackson became weak. He wanted to push Sherrod off because of their location, but being in the employee bathroom also made things hotter. It was so spontaneous. Jackson undid his apron string and let it fall down to his feet. Sherrod did the same and then directed his hands towards Jackson's backside. He worked his way through Jackson's uniform black slacks and groped his ass.

  "Stop," Jackson said breathlessly. He didn't want it to stop, but it had to.

  "
Come on, baby," Sherrod said in between kisses. "I have wanted this ever since that night, just to touch you."

  "No." Jackson finally felt the will to stop accepting those tender kisses. "I really mean stop."

  Jackson pushed Sherrod away. He straightened his pants and underwear back into position and grabbed for his apron. Jackson could not help but notice Sherrod's raging hard on as he bent down to retrieve it. He grabbed Sherrod's apron as well and handed it to him.

  "You might need to put this on to hide that tent you are pitching in your pants." Sherrod took the apron, but he did not laugh at Jackson's half assed attempt to make light of the situation.

  "What do I got to do to get some attention here?"

  "Sherrod, we have been through this. You know it is not a good idea for several reasons."

  "I can make you happy," Sherrod stated confidently while bypassing the topic of their obvious obstacles. "Just tell me what you want."

  "I don't think that right now is the best time nor is this a good place to get into this." Jackson started to make a move for the door, but Sherrod stopped him.

  "No, really. What do you want from a man? From a relationship? I want to know." Jackson turned back around to Sherrod. His face was soft and sincere.

  "Okay. Well, I want intimacy. I want a relationship that is based on things way deeper than sexual attraction."

  "Me too." Sherrod stepped forward to give Jackson another kiss, but Jackson stopped him. His phone started vibrating again, but he ignored it.

  "I want someone who knows my needs before I do. I want someone who can navigate through my personality and bring out the best in me. I want someone who is my equal. You know, someone who can bring something to the table just like I will. I want someone who is everything that I am not because they are supposed to open my eyes to worlds unknown. I want someone who thinks that my annoying traits are cute and think that my more attractive ones are perfection. I want someone who does things for me not only because it makes me happy, but it also makes them happy just to see me smile. I want someone who loves life and believes that I am supposed to be a part of his."

  "Well," Sherrod said after a brief pause. "Then it doesn't sound like you want too much. You just want to be loved. I want to give you all of that as much as you want it. I think about you all of the time, even in my dreams. Every time I see you, I just want to hold you and tell you how perfect you are because I know that you are perfect for me. How else would you explain how your smile not only brightens up a room, but my heart as well?"

  Jackson felt himself get emotional, but he tried to not let his emotions get the best of him. He knew that Sherrod could be the one to make him appreciate life and love. However, he also knew that Alonzo would be crushed and that he didn't need that right now. Either way that this would go, someone would get hurt. Jackson thought about giving in, but he also thought about who Alonzo would turn to if things got worse with his mother.

  "I gotta check on my table," Jackson said rushing out the restroom. He dared not look at Sherrod or he would feel even worse for leaving the small confines. On his walk back up front, his phone vibrated again. He had a voicemail. Jackson checked it before he got to the main dining area.

  "Hey, I have been calling you. Call me back. Why are you avoiding my calls? If you don't call me back by five, I am coming over. Holla at me before then or I will be out front." Tracy's message left Jackson feeling uneasy. He sent him a text saying that he was at work hoping it would suffice. Jackson tucked everything to the back of his mind so that he could get through the workday.

  Chapter 21

  The front door closed with a loud thud as Jackson walked into his apartment. He still wore his apron from work. Jackson untied the double knot of the apron string and tossed it on the sofa. Knowing that he still had to get ready for his date with Tracy, he didn't stop to crash. Jackson would have made it all the way to his room if it had not been for his roommate. Alonzo emerged from his room with a devious, knowing look on his face. This same expression was usually followed up with a day's full of juicy gossip.

  "So you got a call here on the house phone. Actually you got several."

  "From who?" Jackson asked continuing to his room. He started stripping off his uniform as he talked to Alonzo.

  "All from Tracy. The dude must really like you cause he was blowing up this phone. And you must really like him too cause you usually don't give out the house number."

  "I didn't give it to him."

  "You didn't? Are you sure?"

  "Yeah," Jackson said slowly after scanning his memories for such a moment. Alonzo shrugged and left Jackson to get dressed.

  Something was definitely not right and it was plaguing Jackson's mind as he continued to get ready. How did Tracy get the number? Maybe he had given it to him. But when? Jackson didn't really give that number out that much. He couldn't even remember the number half of the time. While pondering over this subject, the memories of Tracy's earlier message came to mind. Tracy had said that he was prepared to ride to Jackson's apartment if he did not call him back. What kind of behavior was that?

  "Maybe I am thinking about this too much," Jackson said aloud to himself. Perhaps it was just pre-date jitters. The last date had gone so well that they both were probably a little antsy. That was what it was. It was all nerves at play.

  Tracy was there, right on time to pick Jackson up for the date. They shared in the usual amount of small talk. The theatre had a good number of patrons, but the two men found great seats towards the back. They managed to sit on the very back row with the nearest movie goers as far as six chairs down and a row up. Tracy had his arm around Jackson for the whole movie. Tracy's body up against his felt so good to Jackson. The one thing that Jackson hated about the gay lifestyle was not always being able to be affectionate in public like straight couples. If you walk by a strapping young man kissing his lovely girlfriend, it is viewed as something so sweet and natural. However, if two men were even seen holding hands, it was blasphemous. So here in the theatre with Tracy close to him, Jackson felt at peace.

  After the movie, they went out to eat at the Cheesecake Factory downtown.

  Surrounded by warm colors of browns and yellows with whimsical décor, Tracy and Jackson talked over a basket of bread while they waited for their food. Thankfully, their wait for a seat had not been too long. Jackson made a conscious decision to keep his hands under the table. Otherwise, he might keep reaching for the bread and get full off of it.

  "So you talk about going back to school, but what do you want to do? What would you major in?" Tracy asked Jackson while they were on the topic of their dreams and aspirations. Tracy had already confessed to wanting to do physical therapy.

  "Well, I don't know. When I first went to college, I didn't want to go. I was only doing it because of my mom and what she wanted me to do. I entered with my major being undecided so I just took basic classes."

  "Did you do well in them?"

  "I could have done a lot better if I had applied myself. If I had been focused enough at the time and wanted to actually be there, I think I could have gotten all A's. I was making C's without much effort. I wasn't going to class half of the time and I definitely wasn't into the whole studying thing."

  "You partied then?" Tracy smiled. "I can dig that."

  "Actually, I didn't really do that either. I mean, I did my fair share, but nothing major."

  "So you never said what you want to do. You have to have decided something since all this time has passed."

  "I have thought about teaching."

  "Oh, like your mom?"

  "Yeah, you know it is in my blood. My mom and my grandmother were both teachers and they loved it. I just hope that…" Jackson stopped mid-sentence after really digesting Tracy's last remark. "Wait, I didn't tell you that my mom was a teacher."

  "Yes, you did." Tracy sat straight up in his chair. He knew that he had been caught in a big lie and now he was on the defensive.

  "No, I didn't. And an
other thing, Alonzo told me that you called the house phone, but I know that I didn't give you the number. Oh, and then in the car, you made a remark about me being a Sagittarius which I don't remember talking about either."

  "Okay, I admit. A brother did a little research, that's all."

  "Research? What do you mean research?" Jackson's body became stiff. He was now extremely uncomfortable and not feeling the man sitting across from him. Tracy's eyes were apologetic as he began talking.

  "Look, I have encountered some real strange folk before. I did it more as a precaution I guess. My brother works in the police department and I just gave him your license plate number. He saw that it was in your mother's name and so that's how I found out some things about her."