Satin Nights

by Karen E. Quinones Miller

  “Yeah, why are you spazzing on Uncle Joe?” Puddin’ asked. “You’ve been tight-lipped about him ever since he got back from L.A. What happened down there?”

  “Well, he’s considering doing the movie,” she said.

  “And you’re pissed with him about that?” Tamika asked. “Why?”

  Regina shook her head. “No, no. I don’t care one way or the other.”

  “Mika told me about him getting those dealers off her back. I know you ain’t mad at him about that shit,” Puddin’ snorted. “Shit. We should be giving him a medal. And who the fuck cares if he had to knock off one of those thugs to make a point? One less piece of scum in the world, I say.”

  Regina looked at Puddin’ and then Tamika. “I want to tell you guys something, but you have to promise not to tell anyone.” She glanced around to make sure no one was within earshot. “Not even Yvonne or David. And especially not Charles. You’ve got to promise.”

  “Okay,” Puddin’ said slowly. “Seems like this is gonna be some deep shit.”

  “Very deep.” Regina sighed. “I got your words on this?” She waited until both women nodded, then took a deep breath. “Little Joe called me that night Robert attacked Ray-Ray, and of course, I was so upset I was damn near hysterical, ya know? Anyway, I told him what happened, and that I hoped Robert got caught and someone cut off his dick and shoved it in his mouth for what he’d done.”

  “Oh shit,” Puddin’ said in almost a whisper.

  Tamika gasped.

  Regina could hear the rumble of the train pulling into the station, but neither she nor her friends made a move to get up. They sat there as the train stopped, then pulled away, still not saying anything.

  “That is some very deep fucking shit,” Puddin’ finally said. “I don’t even know what to say. Damn.”

  “Oh damn, Regina.” Tamika shook her head, then reached over and rubbed Regina’s back. “You must be going through pure hell. What did Little Joe say when you talked to him about it?”

  “I haven’t said anything to him about it. The ironic thing is we went out to eat and had a big fight when I suggested that he had been involved in your thing, Mika, and that I didn’t approve.” Regina threw her hands up in the air and let them fall back into her lap. “I mean, he really blew up. He didn’t say it was true, and he didn’t say it wasn’t true, but he said I was being hypocritical because I set him up to play savior with that Rob-Cee thing.”

  “Didn’t I—”

  “Save the ‘I told you so’s,’ Mika,” Regina snapped. “You were the one who told him about those guys’ names, you know.”

  “But I didn’t think—”

  “Yeah, well, neither did I when I said what I said about Robert.” Regina shook her head and sucked her teeth. “How the fuck was I supposed to know what he was going to do?”

  The women fell silent as yet another train entered and left the station.

  “You ever hear the parable about the swan and the scorpion?” Tamika said after a while. “There was this scorpion who wanted to cross this wide lake, but scorpions can’t swim. So he went to the swan and asked if the swan would take him across. The swan turned him down, saying he didn’t trust the scorpion not to sting him. The scorpion pleaded and pleaded, and finally, the swan told the scorpion to climb on his back and he’d take him across. So the scorpion climbs on the swan’s back, and they’re about in the middle of the lake when suddenly the scorpion lashes out and stings the swan on the neck.

  “Of course, the scorpion sting is fatal, so the swan begins to sink into the water, taking the scorpion down with him. Just before they drown, the swan asks the scorpion why did he sting him when he knew that by doing so he had killed both of them. The scorpion looked at him and said, ‘Because I’m a scorpion, and that’s what I do.’”

  “Hmm, yeah.” Puddin’ nodded. “I can see how it kinda fits here. Kinda, anyway.”

  “You tell him about Rob-Cee, and he takes care of that for Puddin’,” Tamika said. “I tell him about my problem, and he takes care of that for me. You tell him about Robert, and he takes care of that for you.”

  “And for Yvonne, too, I guess,” Puddin’ added. “Rob-Cee doesn’t know how lucky he is. He coulda wound up like that drug dealer or Robert. I gotta figure out how I could use that to my advantage.”

  Both Tamika and Regina looked at Puddin’ and shook their heads.

  “You know what, Gina?” Puddin’ continued. “Remember that shit we were talking about at the restaurant that day? About you trying to stop yourself from getting payback on people? Looks like maybe you just found someone to do it for you. Whaddya think?”

  Regina’s head jerked back, then she swung around to face Puddin’. “Oh no, uh-uh. That’s not the deal at all. How can you say some shit like that? You think I planned all this?”

  Puddin’ shrugged. “Don’t get all excited. It was just a question.”

  Regina glared at her for a moment, then sat back and stared straight ahead.

  “So what are you going to do now?” Tamika asked.

  Regina shrugged. “Hell if I know.”

  “Well, one thing for sure, you really do need to make sure that you don’t tell Yvonne or Charles, because even though it’s not your fault, they would still never forgive you,” Tamika said after some thought. “And I think you’re right to avoid Little Joe. At this point we don’t know what else he’s capable of.”

  Regina shook her head. “No, I think you’re wrong there. He’s been blowing up my phone for the past two days. I think it’s best I meet with him and get this straightened out.”

  “Yeah, we don’t want him to come looking for her,” Puddin’ agreed. “But I say we go with her.”

  “Oh God!” Tamika said with a sigh. “But yeah, maybe you’re right.”

  “Nope. I gotta do this on my own,” Regina said, folding her arms across her chest. “I don’t even know if I’m going to bring up the Robert thing. I’ll just tell him that I don’t think we should see each other anymore and just leave it at that.”

  “You think he’ll just leave it like that?” Tamika asked.

  “Yeah, yeah, I think so,” Regina said hopefully.

  Puddin’ shrugged. “Look at it like this. We all heard the stories from back in the day about Little Joe having people rubbed out, but we never heard any stories about Little Joe having bad breakups with women. His philosophy was always like easy come, easy go.”

  “Yeah, but he might not have been in love with all those women he was running back in the day. He’s in love with Regina, so it might be different.”

  “He told you he’s in love with you, Gina?”

  Regina nodded.

  “Yeah,” Puddin’ said. “Well, then, you just might be fucked.”

  chapter twenty-two

  I thought you was going to stand me up.”

  Regina smiled nervously as she sat down at the table across from Little Joe. “Camille’s staying over at Tamika’s tonight, and I wanted to make sure she was settled in before I left her. Then I had to wait for a cab because my car is in the shop to get new brakes put on. I tried to call you on your cell, but it kept going straight to voice mail.”

  Little Joe snapped open his cell phone, then snapped it closed. “I didn’t realize my battery is low. I’ll recharge it when I get back in the car.” He slipped the phone in his pocket. “So? You were calling me to cancel on me or something?”

  “No. No. I just wanted to let you know I was running late.” Regina sighed inwardly. Little Joe was obviously in a mood. The night wasn’t going to be easy.

  “You want to order something to eat, or should we just get drinks?” Little Joe leaned back in his chair and studied Regina. “I don’t want to keep you out too late.”

  “Well, uh, I guess it’s up to you,” Regina said in a state of confusion. She had expected him to be mad or emotional, but why would he insist on her coming out to meet him just so he could treat her so coldly? she wondered. She’d never seen him
like this before. Nor did she like it.

  “Just drinks, then.” Little Joe waved to the waiter, who hurried over and took their drink orders.

  “So how’s your niece doing?” Little Joe said after the waiter left. “Still in the hospital?”

  Regina nodded. “She’s doing a quick mend, though. The doctors say they’ll probably release her tomorrow or the next day.”

  “And Yvonne?”

  “She’s doing okay,” Regina said cautiously. “Physically, anyway. She’s upset about Robert’s death. I guess you heard about that. It was in all the newspapers.”

  “I read a couple of stories about it,” Little Joe said in a nonchalant voice, though he looked at her as if he dared her to go further.

  Okay, if that’s how he’s going to play it, then that’s that, Regina decided. She picked up the menu and flipped through it, pretending to look over the entrées when she was really wondering when Little Joe was going to finally tell her why he wanted to see her.

  “So you wanna tell me, or you want me to tell you?” Little Joe said when the drinks arrived.

  “Tell me what? Tell you what?” Regina said as she stared into her martini.

  “That it’s over.” Little Joe took a deep swig of his whiskey sour. “I thought we’d get some closure on this shit rather than just slink out of each other’s lives, ya know?”

  “You want me to come meet you so we could break up properly?” Regina said slowly. “That’s very, uh, nice of you.”

  “Yeah, that’s me. Nice.” Little Joe gave a mean little laugh. “But let me ask you something on the up-and-up. Do you think you really know what the fuck you want? Do you? ’Cause you sure confuse the shit outta me.”

  Regina looked down at the table. “I’m sorry if I sent you mixed signals . . .”

  “Aw naw, naw, naw.” Little Joe shook his head. “Mixed signals, my ass. Own up to your shit, Regina.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Mixed signals is when someone sends out a signal saying one thing, then turns around and sends a signal that says something else. What you do is send out a signal, wait until someone takes action based on that signal, and then say the signal never existed. That’s really fucked-up.”

  “Look, I’m—”

  “And it’s a fucked person that would do it,” Little Joe continued, then took another gulp of his drink. “I expected better of you.”

  “Little Joe, I’m—”

  “I don’t know why I expected better, though. You’re pretty good at treating people like shit, aren’t you?” Little Joe leaned over the table. “I may not have been the best man in the world, but I honest to fucking God did the best I could by you. I treated you like a queen, Regina. How did you treat me? I wasn’t even good enough to be introduced to people. You fucking ashamed of me? Don’t even answer. It’ll just piss me the fuck off.”

  “Okay, so you just want me to apologize?” Regina chewed her lip as she felt her face heat up. “I apologize, okay?”

  “You ain’t learn to check your attitude at the door yet, huh?” Little Joe said with a sneer. “Yeah, go ahead and get your shit off, Gina.”

  “I don’t have any shit to get off. In fact, I just apologized, didn’t I?” Regina crossed her legs under the table in an effort to keep herself under control. This wasn’t the way the evening was supposed to go. She was supposed to be confronting him; instead, she was being chewed up and spit out. And it didn’t help that she knew every word he said was true.

  “That’s a real fucked-up apology,” Little Joe snickered. “But I guess it’s the best you’re capable of, huh?”

  “Yeah, well, maybe it is,” Regina said defiantly. “But—”

  “Yeah, well, then, in the words of Donald Trump, you’re fired. Now get the fuck out my face,” Little Joe said, and leaned back in his seat.

  Regina’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

  “You fucking deaf? Get the fuck to stepping.”

  Regina gasped. She couldn’t believe it. She wanted to lash back at him, but the lump that suddenly lodged in her throat prevented her from speaking. And besides, what really could she say? She, who never let anyone get the best of her in an argument, suddenly had no comeback. She knew she deserved every word he said, but did he have to be so damn hurtful? She fought back her tears as she slowly got up from the table, picked up her purse, and walked out the door, head held high.

  She walked down the block in search of a taxi, still trying to hold back her tears. She waited until the light was green before stepping into the street, never noticing the gray Ford Taurus speeding around the corner. She gasped as someone pulled her back in the nick of time.

  “Regina, you’re trying to get killed?” Little Joe pulled her into his arms.

  She struggled to break free as her tears started flowing. “Let go of me, okay? I’m fine.”

  “The hell you’re fine. Didn’t anyone tell you to look both ways before crossing the damn street?”

  Regina managed to pull away, but then leaned against a parked car, buried her face in her hands, and started sobbing.

  “Regina, stop crying,” Little Joe said as he tried to hug her. “I’m sorry.”

  “What are you sorry about?” Regina said, trying to turn away. “I’m the one who did all the dirt, right? I’m the one who’s supposed to be apologizing, aren’t I? And besides, I’m not crying.”

  “You ain’t crying, huh? Well, baby, you’re leaking water from your eyes.” Little Joe stroked her hair. “And I am sorry. Really sorry.”

  He tried to pull her away from the car, but she refused to budge. “Gina,” he said, giving up and leaning against the car with her, “I apologize. I was so fucking mean, and I was extra mean on purpose. I wanted you to cry, or at least I thought I did.”

  “I’m not crying.”

  “Oh yeah, I forgot.” He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. “Gina, I’m sorry. I jumped on you like that because I was mad, but also because I think maybe subconsciously I wanted to make sure I burned whatever bridges we have. I needed to make sure there was nothing for us to be tempted to cross back over.”

  “What do you mean?” Regina sniffed.

  “I truly love you, and I believe you love me, but we just ain’t what each other need.” Little Joe grimaced as he talked. “I don’t fit in your world, and you don’t fit in mine anymore. There was a time when you never woulda fucking asked me about what I did to who. You’d just take it for granted I did it and be proud as hell that I did. That’s the Regina I knew. That’s the Regina I thought I was coming home to.

  “And I thought about, well, trying to slow my roll when it comes to you, but I know me. And anytime I feel like you’re threatened I’m going to take steps to remove that threat. That’s just who I am. And I fucking like who I am.”

  “I like who you are, too,” Regina said softly. “But yeah, I know what you mean.”

  “And I like who you are, too,” Little Joe said as he caressed her face. “But it wouldn’t work. And I’m just fucking pissed off about that shit that I just, I guess, unloaded on you. You ain’t deserve all that. I’m sorry.”

  “Why? Just about everything you said was on the mark.”

  “Yeah, that’s true. But I still ain’t had to come at you like that. So take the fucking apology, okay?” Little Joe put his hands in his pockets and stared up at the sky. “And take your little ass home before I start blubbering or some shit.”

  Regina wiped her eyes and looked at Little Joe. “So this is it, huh? We’re not going to see each other again?”

  “You trying to say that there ain’t a little part of you that’s glad about that?” Little Joe challenged her. He snorted when she looked away. “That’s what I thought.”

  Regina put her head on his shoulder. “But I do love you, Little Joe.”

  “Feeling’s mutual, Regina. You’ll always be my Satin Doll.”

  Regina could hear the telephone ringing while she unlocked the front
door, and she nearly tripped over the umbrella stand, trying to answer it before it stopped.

  “Hello.”

  “Hey, baby,” Charles’s voice came through. “So good to be able to call you baby again.”

  Regina smiled. “So good to hear it again. What’s up?”

  “Nothing much. I just wanted to call and tell you that I love you. And I was wondering if you might be free for a late dinner, since it seems you got home from Yvonne’s kind of early. How is she, by the way?”

  “Actually, we didn’t go over there. We saw Tamika on the way, and we all just hung out for a little while.” Regina twirled the telephone cord around her finger as she told her half-truth. “But,” she continued, “I’m kind of tired, so can I get a rain check?”

  “No problem. Since I don’t have to be back in Philly until Monday, maybe I can take you and Camille to the movies this weekend. And maybe I can get you to marry me again?”

  “Charles!” Regina took a sharp breath.

  “You don’t have to answer now,” Charles said hurriedly. “I know you need time to think about it. But, Regina, you and I both know that we’re still in love. And we both know that we’re good together.”

  “I know,” Regina said in a low voice.

  “The only problem that I can see is that I know you won’t want to move back to Philly, and I have to live in my voting district. But I know we’ll be able to work something out. I wouldn’t be the first or only congressman to only spend weekends in the house that he keeps in his home district. Or the first senator.”

  “Probably not,” Regina said with a light laugh.

  “So will you think about it?”

  “I will.”

  “I love you, baby.”

  “I love you, too, baby.”

  Funny how things turn out, Regina thought as she hung up the telephone and sat down on the couch. Who would have guessed that I’d be dumped and proposed to in the same night?

  She leaned back and closed her eyes. She was going to miss the hell out of Little Joe, but he was right. She loved him, but she probably loved the gangsta in him even more, she admitted to herself. And yet she couldn’t stand to be around someone who did the things gangstas do.