Don't Ask, Don't Tell

by M. T. Pope

  “Baby, I’m sorry.” I reached for her hand but she instantly snatched it away.

  “Don’t,” she warned me. “How could you do this to me? To us? To them?” She pointed to pictures of our sons on the walls.

  “Tasha, you don’t understand,” I pleaded. “I didn’t want to do it. Your father made me, he blackmailed me.”

  “Now how did he do that?” She looked unconvinced. She had a banner up for her father that said she was sold out for him and he could do no wrong.

  “Tasha, he threatened to have me dishonorably discharged if I didn’t do what he said. He said that he would tell you that I was sleeping with men on the base. I didn’t want to lose you. You and the boys are everything in the world to me ... everything.”

  “So why didn’t you come and tell me about this?” she proposed. She looked very angry.

  “Tasha, would you have believed me if I did come to you and tell you that your father was gay?” I proposed. She was stumped. She didn’t say a word for a few seconds.

  I continued, “He’s not the man you know and the husband you know.” I looked at my mother-in-law and then back at my wife. “He’s a tyrant and an arrogant, selfish, sex-crazed maniac. This has been going on for two years and I promise you that I didn’t want to continue in this foolishness, but I was only thinking of you and the boys the whole time.”

  “Oh, really.” She folded her arms with attitude. “So you’re saying that when you and my father were fucking you was thinking of your wife and kids.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant. I was doing it for you. I didn’t want to lose my career and the support it gave us.”

  “Ma, you hear this fool over here trying to rationalize having sex with my father and God knows who else?”

  Her mother remained silent the whole time.

  “So you’re not going to address your father in this situation?” I was pissed off now. “You’re going to blame all of this on me. None of the blame goes to your father.”

  “He didn’t have this problem before you came along.” She said matter-of-factly.

  “Tasha, a man don’t just develop these habits overnight, it’s not that simple. He probably was doing this all along. He just didn’t get caught until now.”

  Sergeant Harris now had a silly-ass smirk on his face as he watched his daughter and my wife defend him to no end. I truly couldn’t believe that my wife was taking his side as if he weren’t even in the video at all.

  “You saw the video, Tasha. I was not sucking Casper the Friendly Ghost’s dick and your father was enjoying himself. Explain that.”

  “No need to explain; you’re the one with the history, not him.”

  “So you’re taking his side?” I asked.

  “Kyle, he’s my father and you had these issues before.”

  “I can’t believe this shit.” I stood up, pissed off and disgusted. “I can’t believe that you are so gung-ho for your father that you wouldn’t even acknowledge his part in this.”

  “Oh, no, I am going to ask him about his side of the story.” She turned and looked at her father. “Daddy, did Kyle blackmail you or something to get you to have sex with him?”

  “Yes, baby girl. You know your daddy wouldn’t do anything to intentionally hurt you. I love you.”

  “Well, there you go, Kyle. What do you have to say for yourself, before I toss your sorry ass out on the street?”

  “Ain’t this a bitch.” I got down on my knees in front of my wife and pleaded with her. “Baby, I love you; why would you put me out over some lies? He’s lying, baby ... He’s lying.”

  “Kyle, it’s over, get your shit and go.” She didn’t even look at me. Some tears fell out of her eyes. I knew she was hurt by this. I was too. I didn’t have any evidence to prove her wrong so I had to go. I had to leave my wife and my sons. I was extremely hurt and devastated. I wanted to go over there and beat her father’s ass but I didn’t. I got up and walked toward the steps with my head down. I didn’t know where I was going, but I had to go.

  Chapter 24

  Christine

  You Didn’t Ask and I Didn’t Tell

  “Wait! Kyle, don’t leave,” I called out just as he was about to go up the stairs. “I can’t let this happen.”

  I looked at my daughter, who was crying, and her husband as they were about to end their life together.

  “What? What do you mean, Momma?” Tasha turned and looked at me. “What’s going on?”

  “It’s ... it’s ... it’s not Kyle’s fault,” I stammered.

  “What?” Tasha looked at me, confused. “I’m confused.”

  I looked at my husband and then at my precious daughter. “Kyle didn’t pursue Henry. It was the other way around.”

  “What!” She looked shocked. “Daddy?” She looked at him with so much hurt in her eyes. “How could you?”

  “Tasha, I’m not finished. He’s not your father, either.” Saying it broke my heart, but knowing that the truth was out made me feel a lot better.

  “You’re not my father?” Henry shook his head no. “Momma, why didn’t you tell me?”

  “You didn’t ask me so I didn’t tell you.”

  “How the fuck I’m supposed to know to ask that question?” Spit was flying from her mouth as she spoke. She had a temper and she was using it now.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I was doing what was best for us,” I rationalized.

  “So you knew that my fath ... I mean, Henry, was fucking my husband all along?”

  “Yes, it was the only way I could keep him happy. When Henry found out that Kyle had a past with men, he said if I didn’t let him have him he would leave me. I didn’t have a choice.”

  “You didn’t have a choice?” Tasha shot up out of the chair she was in. “Bitch, how about you choose your family.” I was taken aback by her calling me a bitch, but I let it slide because she was angry and rightfully so.

  “Baby, you don’t understand. Your father walked out on us and I had to work really hard. I needed some help, some stability, so when Henry came along and said he would take care of me I married him. I found out about him being gay when I found a tape of him have sex with a soldier. I confronted him and he threatened to leave. I just couldn’t go back to work and you were already calling him Daddy. I had no choice but to let him do him to keep food on the table. All I had to do was be a cover for him and he would take care of us.”

  “You sick bastard!” She hauled off and slapped the taste out of his mouth. “So your telling me to marry Kyle was so I could have stability?”

  “Baby, I just wanted you to have a good life. I wanted you to be stable.”

  “I can’t believe you ... You’re crazy ... both of you.” She looked like she wanted to spit on us both. “You know this don’t ask, don’t tell shit is inexcusable. Is there anything else you holding back on? Are you my mother?” She looked as serious as a heart attack.

  “No, Tasha. That’s all of it. And yes, I’m your mother.” I looked at her. “Please forgive me.”

  “How could I forgive you? I will forever think about what if I never found this disk, would you still have lived this sham to the end? I can’t believe this shit. I was about to put my husband out and lose my mind all because you wanted to be stable. Get out! Get the fuck out of my house. I don’t want to see either of you again.”

  “Tasha, No ... I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to turn out like this.” I stood and went to her so I could grab and hold her. I knew she was hurting inside and it was my fault. She backed up and put her hands up, signaling me to stop.

  “Get ... out!” she yelled. She picked up a vase and threw it against the wall. We watched it shatter into pieces. Both Henry and I headed toward the steps in a hurry. Kyle moved out of the way so we could go up the stairs. He shook his head in shame. I couldn’t blame him. I would have done the same thing.

  We grabbed our coats and headed to the car in silence. There was nothing to say; we were caught and it was over. The question that floa
ted in my mind several times as I drove was, was it really worth it? I was so delusional to think that I could trade my daughter’s life for my own happiness and stability. Henry sat in the passenger’s seat as quiet as a mouse. I didn’t know what he was thinking about, and if he was feeling any kind of remorse he sure didn’t show it.

  The thought of losing my daughter and grandchildren was overbearing and it brought me to tears as I drove. I lost everything in a blink of an eye.

  We were on the highway and the speed limit was forty-five but I was doing sixty-five. I pushed the pedal some more and watched the speedometer creep up and speed faster and faster.

  “What are you doing?” Henry grabbed my arm and edged the car over farther to the side of the road. I saw a big pole up the road and decided that this was my way out ... our way out. I knew that Tasha meant every word she spoke. I was never going to see them ever again. It was dark out and the road was almost clear. Henry wrestled with me for the wheel but tonight my strength outmatched his, and we drove head first into this massive telephone pole.

  Kyle’s Epilogue

  I sat in the living room chair and held the kids in my arms. I watched my wife place her mother’s urn and her father’s urn on the mantle. I still couldn’t believe that they were gone. One suicide and one murder. I shook my head in shame. I would have never thought it would have ended like that. My wife took it really hard. She was a wreck at the memorial service. I knew she blamed herself for it, but I assured her that it was not her decision. Her mother made that decision for her and her husband. I knew that she still felt guilty for putting them out after the discoveries. I reminded her that she could only control her actions and not anyone else’s. Her mother was going to have to answer for those deaths, not her. After a while she agreed, but I knew that the pain of it all would still be there. Who wouldn’t mourn the deaths of their parents and the tragic way their lives were ended? Even with all the lies and deception I still shed a tear at the memorial. It didn’t have to end that way, but it did.

  My wife and I had a nice long talk after her parents left two weeks ago. She apologized and apologized for not believing me. I apologized for not confessing to what was going on sooner. We both decided that we needed counseling so we could work through our problems. We both agreed that there would be no more lying or secrets, and we would take our love for each other more seriously for our children. She also told me that she understood about my past, but she couldn’t tolerate another bout with me sleeping with men. And at any time I felt like I wanted to do it, I needed to respect her enough to say it. She said she expected me to be a man of the house and that she would respect every decision I made.

  She also found out that she was pregnant. We were both hoping for a girl. She said if it was a girl that she would name it after her mom, because it would be like giving her mother a second chance at life. I agreed.

  Anyway, while at the memorial service for her parents she grieved really hard. She didn’t think that it should have ended the way it did. I held her and promised her that I would do my best to never let her down again and that she didn’t have to worry about my past anymore. I told her that I would be straight up with her from now on no matter what.

  Ironically, a few days after her parents were killed; my mother called me and asked me if she and my father could come see their grandkids. Everything in me wanted to say no, but I said yes and today was the day that they would be coming by.

  “Baby, come sit down and rest.” I patted the cushion beside me. “Take a load off.”

  “Okay, but not for too long. Your parents will be here in a few hours and I want to have dinner ready.”

  “Baby, you don’t have to impress them. Just be you. You’re all that matters to me.” I kissed her on the cheek.

  “I’m just nervous though.” She smiled weakly.

  “Tasha, if they can’t accept you as you are then we won’t have anything to do with them.”

  “Okay.” She laid her head on my shoulder.

  “You know, baby,” she spoke after she picked her head up off of my shoulders. “I want to go back to work.”

  “Really?” I looked a little shocked because she never really talked about working.

  “Yes, I would really like to get out of the house. I mean I love my kids and being a mother, but I was living my mother’s life, not my own. I want to be happy and stable in my own way. I think after I have the baby I will start looking for a job.”

  “Do you, baby, I’m one hundred percent behind you all the way.”

  “Okay, then that is what I am going to do.” She picked Farrow up out of his seat and nuzzled his nose and hers. I was so elated that I still had my family.

  “Tasha.” I looked at her seriously once she started to rock Farrow in her arms. “I need to say something to you.”

  “What is it, Kyle?” She looked a little nervous. “Is something wrong?”

  “No, I just want to tell you thank you for giving me and us another chance. Only a real woman and wife would take back her man after all of this. I mean I am truly grateful for you. I can’t even describe how I really feel about you and my boys. This whole gay thing is not for me. I know that it’s easier said than done, but I know that I can grow and change with you. I already did it before and I know I can do it again. And if I ever get to the point where I want to step out on you again, then I will stay gone. Agreed?”

  “Agreed.” She nodded her head.

  “This is a new start for us. I see us getting old and these boys changing our diapers. I can see it.” She laughed at the last comment and so did I.

  I was not going to say that everything was perfect, but we were a family and that was a good start. A lot people in this world doubt that a person who has slept with the same sex can be changed. But I was going to step out on the faith that my parents instilled in me. Because I knew that God could do anything but fail. I had proof and it was my family. They’re all the proof I needed.

  Other Books by M.T. Pope

  Both Sides of the Fence

  Both Sides of the Fence 2: Gate Wide Open

  Both Sides of the Fence 3: Loose Ends

  Anna J. Presents: Erotic Snap Shots Vol. 1 (e-book only)

  Author Bio

  M.T. Pope is a native of Baltimore, MD where he cur-

  rently resides. He is a store manager of a bookstore.

  He is hard at work on future titles. He welcomes the

  feedback and comments of readers. Also, feel free to

  check out his other works of fiction.

  M.T. Pope’s e-mail:

  chosen_97@yahoo.com

  M. T. Pope’s Web sites:

  www.facebook.com/authormtpope

  www.twitter.com/mtpope

  www.wix.com/mtpope/bothsidesofthefence

  BETTER NOT TELL

  By Tina Brooks McKinney

  Chapter 1

  Lauren Burns

  My hands were shaking when I opened the letter with the official army seal, addressed to me. Ever since I walked into the recruiter’s office and signed on the dotted line, I was prickling with anticipation.

  “What does it say?” Tiffany snatched the letter from my hands. She was so fast, I couldn’t stop her. I was afraid she was going to tear it up, especially since she was less than happy about my decision to enlist. As she read the letter, I waited for the explosion I knew was coming.

  “It’s official. I got my marching orders, pun definitely intended.”

  “You bitch. How can you do this to me? What am I supposed to do while you’re off playing GI Joe?”

  Both questions were rhetorical and I didn’t want to touch either one of them. Especially today, since Tiffany was in a bitchy mood. Tiffany was my girlfriend/ lover, but she was also my drama queen. Lately, we weren’t seeing eye to eye on most things so I figured time apart would do us both some good. Apparently Tiffany didn’t see things the same way and when she didn’t get her way, Tiffany tended to get mean. I loved her, but I didn’t like he
r very much, which made it easier for me to leave. But there’s a right and a wrong way to do things; this was why I told Tiffany my plans before I signed up.

  When my mother left my dad, she ran off in the middle of the night, leaving a jacked-up note. I wanted us to remain friends so I opted not to treat her badly. With the way things were going, I had to constantly remind myself we were friends before we became lovers and I wanted to at least maintain a fraction of our relationship.

  “Come on, Tiff, we talked about this. After I do the ten weeks of basic training, I’ll only have to go two weekends a month.” I thought we both knew a lot could happen in ten weeks, but I wasn’t going to be the one to say it. We were at the point in the relationship where we would either have to fight to stay together or walk away, so I was looking forward to the time away to help me decide what I wanted to do.

  “That’s almost three months! What am I supposed to do while you’re bunking down with fifty other fucking women? You won’t even be thinking about me.” She was pouting and it confused me because she rarely did it. Throwing things, cussing up a blue streak, or storming out: those were things she did when she was upset. Although we never physically fought, we’d come pretty damn close to it on a number of occasions.

  “Why are you acting like this? We talked about this and you said it might do us some good.”

  “That’s because I didn’t think you were going to do it. What if I said I don’t want you to go?” She balled up my letter and threw it in the trash, which was a childish move on her part.

  “Well it’s too late now, I’m supposed to report in two weeks.” I didn’t mean to sound lackadaisical or like I didn’t care about her feelings but I was sick of her theatrics.