Don't Ask, Don't Tell

by M. T. Pope

  “Those lips are still juicy and sexy like I remember,” she said. “I’m leaving for Afghanistan in one week. I’ll be gone for six to eight months, don’t know for sure yet. The administration needs soldiers in there to quickly shut it down so we can all come back home, and I’ve been ordered to go. Don’t make me leave you under these conditions. Come see me later. I’ve moved to another duplex on the base and I would love for you to stay one night with me before I go. I promise you there will be no cameras, and you don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to. I just want to keep this on a positive note, and if that’s what you want, I hope to see you soon.”

  Lela placed a piece of paper in my hand, leaving me speechless. She walked away and I watched until her truck faded out of sight. I was so torn about what to do, and how could I had been so confident about my relationship with Aaron? Why now? I thought. Why did Lela have to show up now? What if she went to Afghanistan and never came back? I would never have a chance to tell her how I really felt. I had to tell her that I was falling in love with her too, didn’t I? Lord knows I was so confused about what to do, and I couldn’t hurt Aaron again. I didn’t know why his happiness seemed more important than mine, and when I realized that it wasn’t, I decided to meet up with Lela tonight.

  When I got back to Aaron’s office with our Applebee’s, I could barely look him in the eyes as we sat in his office and ate. He noticed my demeanor, and didn’t hesitate to ask me what was wrong.

  I wiped my mouth with a napkin, then laid my fork on his desk. “Nothing. I guess the heat must be getting to me, that’s all.”

  “Baby, you don’t have to stay. The heating and cooling company can’t make it here until tomorrow and you’ve been here all day. Go home and take a load off. I’m not going to stay much longer either, so I will not be offended if you want to get the hell out of here.”

  “Are you sure? I mean, I know there’s still a lot of work to be done this week, and I don’t want you to feel as if I’m cutting out on you.”

  “Positive,” he said. He reached forward and put my unfinished food back into the bag. Holding it up, he said, “Go.”

  I smiled and took the bag from his hand. The guilty feeling had already taken me over, and unable to look him in the eyes, I headed for the door.

  “Brown Sugar,” he said.

  I blinked away the tears in my eyes before I turned. “Yes.”

  He held out his arms. “I can’t get no hug or kiss before you go? I know it’s hot in here, but damn.”

  I chuckled lightly, then walked over to give him a hug and kiss. I did the best that I could to hide my feelings, since the thoughts of being with Lela had consumed my mind. Hopefully, he wouldn’t trip off how dry the kiss was, and when he smiled, I felt relieved.

  “Drive carefully,” he said, still holding my hand. “Call me when you get home and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “I will.”

  I left Aaron’s office, feeling as if I wanted to throw up. What in the hell was wrong with me, playing around with people’s hearts? This was not who I was. I cared about others and had no intention to inflict pain on them. Aaron told me that if I wasn’t feeling this to say so. Why was that so hard for me to do? It was as if I was trying to have my cake and eat it, too. Or was I? If anything, it was time to be real with myself. Truth was, I’d kept up this charade, worried about what people in society would think of me. It was all about a man being with a woman, and I wanted to portray myself as being a loving wife to a man who had shown me nothing but love. Standing up for myself was a challenge, and I still didn’t know if going to see Lela would make me feel as if I was ready to be me.

  I put the address Lela had given me into my GPS tracking device and allowed it to take me to my destination. The subdivision that it led me to was not located on the base, but was nearby it. There were a lot of duplexes on the street, surrounded by a whole lot of trees. I got out of my car, comparing the address in front of me to the address on the paper Lela had written on the paper. This duplex seemed smaller than her other one, but I guess since she was apparently away from her husband, that’s all that mattered. I stepped up to the door to knock, but moments later, Lela came from the side of the house. I jumped from the sight of her, but calmed myself once she walked up to me. She wore an oversized T-shirt that was almost at her knees. No shoes were on her feet, and looking very relaxed, her hair was in a ponytail.

  “I was in the backyard,” she said. “Come follow me.”

  I followed Lela around back where I saw a patio set with cushioned seats on the grass. A book was turned on the table and one light from the inside had lit up the area. Lela did not stop there; instead, she followed a trail that led into what looked to be a forest behind her house. I stopped, skeptical about going forward.

  “Where are we going?” I asked, looking around.

  “What’s the matter? You don’t trust me?”

  I didn’t respond, but to tell the truth, I did trust Lela. Don’t know why, but I did. I was surprised that she knew I’d come, but I guessed it was something in my eyes earlier, or my smile, that convinced her. We continued down the trail, and stopped at a small space that was lit by several tiki candles. An army-green tent was there, too, and when we went inside, Lela had pillows and thick blankets on the ground. A card and red rose were placed on the pillow and two sliced coconuts were next to a bottle of Caribbean Rum. It pleased me that Lela had put forth so much effort to make sure our night together was special. I was almost in tears, but since she had referred to me as being emotional before, I held back.

  “Have a seat,” she said.

  We sat, facing each other, and before I knew it, things were working their way back to normal. We didn’t talk much about what had happened, nor did conversations about Aaron or her husband come up. I was glad about that, because I wasn’t prepared to tell her that I had reconciled my differences with Aaron and was planning to marry him. That was, until she finally asked.

  “Yes, we’re back together, and the wedding is back on. He’s a good man, Lela, and I don’t want to miss out on an opportunity to share my life with someone like him. Now, if you don’t mind, I don’t want to talk about him anymore. I know you’ll never understand what I feel, but at the end of the day, I think it’s best.”

  Lela held up her coconut with rum in it. “Here’s to you and Aaron then. You know I wish you well.”

  I lightly tapped my coconut against hers and we laughed. Moments later, I set mine down and got on my knees. I pulled my shirt over my head, and removed my bra, exposing my breasts. I had missed being intimate with Lela, and when she reached out to grab my waist, her touch set me on fire. My breast went into her mouth, and as she circled the tip of her tongue around my nipple, I dropped my head back. I closed my eyes, so thankful for the feeling that was soon to come my way. Within seconds, all of our clothes were off, and Lela lay back as I straddled the top of her. The strap-on was already on, and as I rode it, Lela used her fingers to fill me up too. I was so excited. My pussy folds were getting wetter with each thrust and Lela couldn’t wait to suck them. She pulled the dripping dildo from my insides, and in our favorite sixty-nine position, we turned each other out. I wanted to be sure to give her something she would always remember, and as both of our bodies profusely sweated throughout the night, she provided the most unforgettable experience of my life.

  By morning, Lela was knocked out, but I was wide awake. My head rested on her midsection and the bottom half of our bodies were covered with the blankets. All I could think about was how badly I didn’t want her to leave, but I knew that her career came before every single thing. She’d made that clear from the beginning, and in no way did I want to complicate her life. Besides, I was still going through with my marriage with Aaron. This thing between Lela and me was something I had to get over, but I wanted her to keep in touch. With her going away to Afghanistan, I figured that wouldn’t be easy to do.

  While inhaling her scent, I turned my head, puckering m
y lips to peck her flat stomach. My tongue sank into her navel, causing her to slowly raise her leg. I reached down to squeeze her thighs, and she wiggled her fingers in my hair.

  “Haven’t you had enough of me?” she said.

  I lifted my head, then rested my chin on her upper chest, looking at her. “Never. What am I going to do without you? I don’t know how I’m going to make it through the next months without thinking of you, but pray for me while you’re away, okay?”

  Lela kissed my forehead and smiled. “I will. And you pray for me too.”

  “Every day. I promise.”

  Lela and I spent half of the day together. We ate breakfast in the tent, painted a room in her house that she wanted to make a guest room, and drove to one of the commissary facilities to pick up discount items. I hadn’t been home or even called to check on Kate and the kids. She had texted me to say that they were going to the mall, but I did want to check in to let her know I was okay. As for Aaron, he had called four times. My calls went straight to voice mail, but as soon as I left Lela’s house, I called him. My lie was already prepared, but I wasn’t sure how he would receive it.

  “I’m so sorry, honey. My mother wanted me to take her to the emergency room last night and I couldn’t find my phone to call you. And when I got to the hospital, I was so worried about her. The room we were in didn’t have a phone, so I couldn’t call. I didn’t bother to call Kate, because Momma didn’t want to worry her. You know how she is.”

  Aaron paused before commenting, and obviously, I wasn’t good at lying. “I do know how she is,” he said. “But it wouldn’t have cost you nothing to go in another room to use a phone to call me. I’ve been so worried about you, Sky, and I thought something had happened to you.”

  “No, I’m fine. I’m going home to change clothes, and then I’ll be right over. Are things pretty busy today?”

  “Hectic. The sooner you can get here, the better.”

  “Be there soon.”

  I hung up, ignoring Aaron’s slight attitude. I was on cloud nine after spending time with Lela, and there was nothing that could make me come down from my high.

  Chapter 7

  This had to be one of the worst days of my life. I was sad ... distraught that Lela had left earlier, going to Afghanistan, and I barely got a chance to say good-bye. Actually, it was by text, and the only thing it said was, Hope to see you soon. Luv always, Lela. And if that wasn’t enough, we were now at the community center, waiting for the returns to come in for the election. Aaron was down by 7 percent and it was not a good feeling. The night was still young, but many of us in the crowded community center, filled with tables and chairs, were hopeful. Stress was written all over Aaron’s face, and the look on it made me uncomfortable. I didn’t know what to say to him, other than wait until all of the votes were counted.

  And as they were, the gap between Aaron and the other candidate, Jefferies, had gotten wider. He was now up by 9 percent and things weren’t looking too good. According to Aaron’s campaign manager who kept on calling, there were only a few more ballots to be counted, and he wasn’t sure if those votes would put him over the top.

  “Something has to be wrong,” Aaron shouted to his campaign manager as we stepped into the back room. He was pacing and seemed so out of it. I had never seen him this way, not even when he had seen those pictures of me and Lela.

  He kept yelling into the phone, then turned it off and put it into his pocket. “Damn!” he said, reaching for my hand. “I’m going to have to go out there and face all of those people to concede tonight. This is such a disappointment and I surely thought this was in the bag. I don’t know what could have happened. I swear, something has to be wrong because there is no way these people voted to put that no-good Jefferies back into office.”

  I took his hand, offering him my support. “I don’t know how either, but whatever happens, it happens for a reason. Like many of the people out there, I’m just proud of you for trying to make the difference. So many people don’t step up, but you did. You did your best and sometimes we fall a little short. Don’t look at this as the end, but the beginning of something much bigger to come down the road. Barack Obama lost his first bid to congress, too, but he didn’t give up. Look at where he is, and if you have the passion and the drive, you can one day end up there too.”

  Aaron cut his eyes, but nodded his head. We headed to the stage together, and as he stood at the podium to give his concession speech, I felt awful. There was a man who had given so much of himself, only to be let down by others. Especially by me. Was it possible that he’d lost because of me? Maybe there was some corruption going on behind the scenes, because it sure as hell didn’t make sense as to how he’d lost. And, by such a huge margin.

  The party wrapped up quickly, and around one o’clock in the morning, Aaron and I headed back to his place. Kate had pretty much taken over my penthouse with her and her kids, but I didn’t mind. It allowed me to spend more time at Aaron’s place, especially since I would soon have to move there anyway when I became his wife.

  He sat on the bed with his head dropped in his hands. I had never seen him get emotional, but from his sniffles I could tell he had let out a few tears. I was kneeled behind him, massaging his shoulders and trying to get him to relax.

  “You’ll feel better after you get some rest. Let’s go to bed. All of this will be easier to deal with in the morning.”

  Aaron rubbed his head, then scooted back to join me in bed. I laid my head on his chest and we listened to music by Sade playing in the background. Aaron didn’t say anything for a long time. I thought he had gone to sleep before he spoke up.

  “Tell me something?” he said.

  “What?”

  “Did you ever think I had a chance to win this thing?”

  “Absolutely. I had faith in you and I thought you had it in the bag.”

  “I did too. But the more I think about it, people in our neighborhoods want change, but they don’t want to work hard for it. Look at how many of them hung up when you were trying to call, and all for the benefit of them. We had to beg people to come out to help us spread the word, and unless we offered food and drinks, you really never got a lot of people to come out.”

  “I don’t know if I agree with you on that, because you definitely brought the ladies out,” I said, laughing. “If nothing else, Mr. Anderson, they were coming out to see you. I mean, many of them supported your campaign, too, but I know some of them would have liked to find out your skills in the bedroom.”

  Aaron snickered, while rubbing up and down my arm. “Yeah, it was a whole lot of that going on, but you know I’m all about business before pleasure. I believe that’s what hurt our relationship so much, but I could be wrong.”

  “Nothing you did hurt our relationship, so don’t be so hard on yourself. It was me, and again, I’m so sorry for hurting you. I’m just glad the election is over and we can now focus on our lives and this wedding. I found my dress and already picked out our cake. When you have time, I want you to go see it too. The samples were delicious too, and I hope you’re ready to be my husband, as I am so ready to be your wife.”

  Aaron slowed his rubs on my arm. “So, if I asked you to marry me tomorrow, you would do it?”

  I looked up and kissed him. “In a heartbeat.”

  We continued to kiss and he lifted himself from the bed so we could sit up. He held my face in his hands and rubbed my cheeks with his thumbs. My eyes were locked with his, and when he backed a few inches away, we held our stare. “In a heartbeat,” he said. “You would marry me, knowing that you have love for another woman. Why is that, Sky? Why would you be so willing to put me through the pain and misery of loving a woman, who does not love me?”

  “But I do love you, Aaron. My feelings are not the same for Lela and what we shared is over.”

  He continued to hold my face. “Over as in just this past week? I guess it would be over, now that she’s gone to Afghanistan. How could you think I was so fool
ish not to know that you were creeping behind my back? If you were planning to be my wife, don’t you know that your every move was being watched? Your phone calls, text messages ... all of that was made known to me. I needed you, though. For my own personal reasons, I needed you to present yourself as my loving future wife. You did a damn good job, even though you couldn’t stop running back to that bitch to suck your pussy. But now, it’s over. I don’t need to put on this front anymore, so you can go put on your clothes and get the fuck out of here. If you need for me to call a cab, let me know. It’s the least I’m willing to do.”

  By now, my face was trembling in his hands that got tighter and tighter as he spoke. I was afraid that he was going to hurt me, but instead, he kept a grip on his temper. He let my face go, sighed, and then got underneath the covers.

  “Save your lies for someone else, Sky, and turn off the lights on your way out.”

  I had been busted again, and had no words left to say. Hurting, because I saw none of this coming. Aaron had made me feel so used, and I felt like one big fool. I put my clothes on, and before leaving his house, I did not turn off any lights. I headed down the street, feeling terrible about all that had happened. Time wasted and time that felt as if it was standing still. I’d made no progress, and maybe Momma had been right about me all along. I hated her for seeing that Aaron was no good, and I couldn’t see that he’d been using me for political gain. How did she know these things, and why in the hell didn’t I listen? I pulled out my cell phone to call my sister Kate. I had to call several times, because she must have been sound asleep.

  “I need a huge favor,” I said in response to her groggy tone.

  “What’s wrong, Sky?”

  “Aaron and I got into it. I need for you to come get me in Fairview Heights, because I doubt that a taxi will show up this late at night. Meet me at a nearby gas station, and when I get to it, have your phone with you so I can tell you which one.”