by Kat Mizera
I had very few friends and kept it that way by design, to avoid too many questions about my past, my life, and especially my son. Luke had been right that he looked like his father and I’d never wanted anyone to get close enough to us to notice. There was one person, my friend Tina Papadakis, whom I’d met about six months ago. She’d recently become my travel agent and helped out at the studio when I needed it, but it was summer now and she was spending a lot of time with her boyfriend. He was a professional hockey player, so this was his off-season and they’d made all kinds of plans. I didn’t want to bother her, no matter how alone I felt, so I texted Marisol that I was home and then ran myself a hot bath.
I carefully took off my sling and my clothes and managed to pin up my hair, even though it was messy and loose since I only used one arm. I sank into the bubbly water and sighed. It felt so good, I never wanted to move. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts wander.
Erik.
Fucking Erik.
He’d been alive all these years while I pined away for him.
I’d never gotten over him while he’d probably been sleeping with every debutante in Europe.
Okay, that couldn’t be true. Those types of women would recognize him and he wasn’t stupid. He would have been discreet, but the thought of him being with other women made me want to scream in frustration. I’d slept with one man since he’d left me, and it was only fair because I’d thought he was dead. What in the ever-loving fuck had he been thinking? Had he planned to fake his death all along? Had he just done it in stages, leaving me at the altar, waiting until the baby was born, and then pretending to die to give me time to adjust to each new phase?
Thinking about him ruined my relaxing bath and I got out of the tub in a huff. Getting dressed on my own was going to be a nightmare, but I didn’t care. I just needed to keep moving before I exploded.
“Casey?” A voice from my bedroom made me jump. “It’s me, Ace. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“Why the fuck wouldn’t I be okay?” I yelled, frustrated at the intrusion.
“Sandor isn’t here and I don’t think you should be alone.”
“We have a top-of-the-line security system and I’m fine,” I said.
He chuckled. “I’m not leaving, Casey.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I slowly pulled on a robe and then yanked open the door.
“Sorry.” He didn’t look the least bit sorry and I scowled in his direction, even though his twinkling blue eyes nearly made me laugh.
“You’re not sorry,” was all I said, brushing past him.
“You need help with your sling.”
“Not from you. My mom will help me in the morning.”
“It’s going to hurt like a bitch while you’re sleeping without something to hold it in place.”
“If you think I’m going to let you help me get dressed, you’ve got another think coming.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve seen it all before.”
“Why do ex-boyfriends always say shit like that?” I grumbled, yanking panties and a pair of stretchy shorts out of my dresser.
“Why are girls always worried about being naked in front of men they know for sure aren’t going to hurt them?”
I turned and narrowed my eyes. “Turn. Around.”
He sighed.
“Do it or leave.”
“Fine.” He turned his back and I managed to get my panties and shorts on. I opened my closet door, keeping my back to him as I searched for one of Jay’s button-down shirts that would be huge on me and easy to get into with my broken collarbone. I tried three times to get my left arm into the sleeve without success and gritted my teeth. Shit. This sucked.
“Fine,” I yelled. “You can help. But if you stare at my tits, I’m going to drop-kick you across the room.”
He snorted out a laugh. “I promise.”
I stepped into the bedroom holding the shirt across my chest. I wasn’t shy and my boobs were actually in good shape considering I’d had two pregnancies, but this was Ace and I was a mess and…oh hell, I needed to get this over with.
He moved behind me, sliding the shirt onto my left arm carefully and then lifting the right side so it went on easily. He was a perfect gentleman, as I’d known he would be, but it hadn’t felt right giving in too easily. I pulled the front together and realized with dismay that I wouldn’t be able to button it with one hand either, so I turned to him with a scowl.
“Don’t say a word,” I muttered.
He buttoned me up and then made a sweeping gesture with his arm. “After you, my lady.”
“Thank you.” I grabbed my sling and headed down the stairs. I was suddenly starving and hoped there would be food in the kitchen.
He followed me amiably and sat on a bar stool as I dug through the refrigerator.
“I know Sandor and Joe Westfield’s company run your security, but I’d like to add another layer right now,” Ace said matter-of-factly. “In fact, I’ll come with you to Greece and head it up myself. I’ve got some time coming to me, and I would rather take care of things personally.”
“That’s very kind,” I said softly, “but not necessary. Sandor and Joe have been handling my security for a decade and I don’t need another layer of anything. We’re a pretty well-oiled machine around here.”
“If that were true, someone wouldn’t have T-boned you at that intersection.”
“For all we know, it was nothing but a terrible accident.”
“None of us believe that. Not even you.”
I sighed. “I’ve got everything under control.”
“That may be the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.”
“Dammit, Ace, why are you here? Do you know where Erik is?”
I knew instantly that he did because his eyes sharpened and then his face morphed into a mask of nothingness.
“Jesus fucking Christ,” I hissed. “Was I literally the only person who didn’t know he was alive?”
“I know you’re frustrated,” he said gently, “but this has been about protecting both you and Luke. It wasn’t about hurting you.”
I didn’t want to hear it, especially not from him, so I grabbed my phone and texted Sandor.
Casey: I need to talk to you. RIGHT NOW.
I set it on the counter and pulled the cover off a plastic storage container. Thank god for Marisol. She’d come by and filled the fridge for us, and my favorite chicken salad was in the container. I pulled it out and called over my shoulder to Ace, “Would you grab the bag of croissants in the cabinet?”
He did as I asked, opening the bag for me and taking one out so I could make myself a sandwich.
“Help yourself,” I said, leaving the bowl of chicken salad on the counter as I dug into my sandwich and realized I was famished.
“I’m good.” He picked up my phone and put it down in front of me. “Looks like Sandor texted you back.”
I glanced down at the screen.
Loco: On my way.
The kids had started calling him Uncle Loco years ago after a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode featuring a character named Locutus, and it had kind of stuck. His legal name had been changed to Mark Sherman by whomever Joe had worked with to make that happen, and that’s what the paycheck I wrote him said, but he was still Sandor to me, and when we were on tour everyone just called him Loco.
“I’m sorry this is happening to you,” Ace said after I’d eaten. He took my dish and rinsed it before putting it in the dishwasher and putting the rest of the food away. I wanted to tell him to stop, that he didn’t belong here, but who was I kidding? With one arm mostly out of commission, things like this were going to be hard for me when Marisol wasn’t here. I’d told Sasha not to worry about me and that I was okay, but that wasn’t even a little bit close to the truth. I wouldn’t lay my burdens on my children, though, of that I was positive.
“Can I get you anything?” he asked as I padded into the living room.
“No. And you�
�re creeping me out.” I didn’t mean that, of course. Despite the years since I’d seen him, I knew him intimately, and he didn’t scare me in the least. I was also sure he was trustworthy or Nick would never have gotten him involved. There were a lot of pieces of this puzzle that were missing for me, but things were spinning out of control and I was in some pain, so I wasn’t going to start anything. Not with Ace anyway. Sandor was another story. He owed me an explanation. And an apology.
“Looks like he’s here,” Ace said, staring at the video monitor in the foyer that showed us who was at the front door. Sandor had a key, of course, and this was still his home so I hadn’t been paying attention.
“He’s got a key,” I said, even though I felt kind of ridiculous pointing that out.
“Well, he’s not alone.”
“What?” I got up, frowning. “He didn’t bring Luke home, did he?”
“Uh, no.” Ace put a hand on my arm. “You probably need to steel yourself.”
“What?” I turned as the door opened and Sandor stepped inside. He met my eyes guiltily.
“Hey.” He paused. “I, uh, well, there’s some people that need to talk to you.”
“You did not bring him here,” I whispered on a ragged breath, tears blurring my vision even though I hated myself for getting so emotional.
“You have to talk,” Sandor said, stepping aside.
Liz walked in and I pressed my lips together to keep from screaming at her to get out. And then I saw him.
6
Erik
I wasn’t prepared for the look on Casey’s face when she saw me. For a fraction of a second, I saw everything I could have hoped for: love, hope, pleasure, maybe even longing. And then it was gone, replaced by a look of fury so strong I almost took a step back. She stared at me, blinking furiously to keep the tears brimming in her eyes from spilling over. Then she took three long steps toward me and slapped me across the face. It stung like hell, too.
No one moved. I don’t think anyone even breathed in that second, and I just stood there, willing to take whatever she dished out because I deserved it.
“You sonofabitch.” Her voice was ragged, hoarse, and I wanted to reach for her but I knew better. “How dare you walk into my house ten years after you destroyed me? How dare you?!” Then she burst into tears and turned away, running from the room.
“Happy?” Sandor asked me, scowling.
“No, I’m not fucking happy. Should we go?”
“No.” Ace shook his head at us. “You should sit your asses down and wait until she calms down. This meeting, whatever conversation you’re about to have, has to happen.”
“I’ll talk to her.” Sandor padded out of the room and I watched miserably.
“She’s upset,” Liz said softly, “but she’ll get over it. Right now, she’s dealing with a lot of emotions. The car accident, Jayson’s infidelity, and I’m sure she feels betrayed by all the people she trusts, from Nick to Sandor to you and me. Not to mention, finding out the man she loved and was going to marry is actually alive.”
“And she doesn’t even know we’re married yet.” I rubbed my face where she’d slapped me. She might have a broken collarbone and busted-up ribs, but that smack held quite a punch.
“Yeah, get ready for another one of those,” she murmured.
“I think you’re the one she’s going to smack around,” Ace said to her, leaning against the couch.
She sighed. “Yeah, I know. I guess I deserve it too.”
“It’s me she’s angry with,” I said. “This is all on me.”
“She’ll be out in a minute.” Sandor came back in the room looking about as surly as I’d ever seen him. There was a wet spot in the center of his T-shirt, showing me just how upset she was—as if that smack hadn’t been enough—and I hated myself all over again.
“Have there been any updates on the drunk driver?” I asked while we waited for her.
“I’ve got some feelers out,” Ace said. “I also got his picture from the morgue and we’re running it against all the databases.”
“Do we have a plan if this is somehow tied to me and/or the king?” I asked. I never spoke Anwar’s name. Ever. Everyone knew what king I was referring to.
“Not yet.” Sandor shook his head. “I have to have more information first.”
I looked in the direction Casey had gone and a million thoughts ran through my mind. I’d taken in the big, beautiful mansion she lived in when we pulled up, but I’d already seen pictures of the outside. The inside was what I’d been expecting, high-end but functional, without a lot of frill or glitz. The hardwood floors were expensive, the furniture probably custom-made, and the decorations subdued. But there were pictures everywhere, and I was drawn to one of Luke and Casey. He looked to be about a year old in the picture and Casey’s face showed her obvious love for him. He’d been so stinkin’ cute; I hated that I’d missed it. Missed everything. And the pictures adorning the fireplace mantel and walls told a story I hadn’t gotten from Liz’s visits or Sandor’s updates.
I’d known Luke was flourishing, but the photographs showed a happy child with a loving family. From the pictures, Jayson appeared to be a hands-on father involved in all of the children’s lives. From Sasha’s high school graduation to a picture of Luke in a baseball uniform to the twins playing in some kind of school band, Jayson was present for almost everything.
Casey came back into the room and though she was calmer now, there was no doubt she’d been crying. The urge to go to her was overwhelming, but I managed to hold back, watching as she approached us.
“So. What did you all come here to say? Say it and then I need you to go.”
“It’s not that simple,” Liz said softly. “First, I want you to know that I never meant to hurt you. Casey, you’re a good friend and I know from the outside looking in, what I did was wrong, but if you’ll give me a chance to explain, you’ll see that I never wanted anyone to be hurt, least of all you.”
“When did it start?” she asked abruptly, standing stiffly a few feet away from us.
“I, um, last year. When you guys came to the casino in Monte Carlo. I mean, not the affair, but the friendship.”
“When did you start sleeping together?”
“Casey, what—”
“Fucking answer me,” she snapped, her eyes blazing with intensity. “You owe me the truth.”
“Christmas. When we took the kids skiing.”
“Was he planning to ask me for a divorce Friday night before the accident?”
“I’m not sure, but it’s complicated. We have to explain everything.”
“Did you know Erik has been alive all this time?”
Liz sighed, but nodded. “Yes. Sandor got him to a safe house after the accident on that mountain where he supposedly died. He called me and I got him to a hospital in Slovakia under an assumed name.”
“Casey, I—” I began.
She held up a finger, though she didn’t look at me. “I’m not talking to you right now. You’ll get your turn.”
Shit. She really was furious. Not heartbroken or a little mad, but I could practically see the fury racing through her veins. It seeped out of her like some kind of invisible mist. I felt it. And frankly, it was a little terrifying.
“And then?” Casey was still staring pointedly at Liz.
Liz told her about everything that happened while I’d been healing and how the CIA had offered me a new identity in exchange for intel about Limaj.
Casey finally turned to me. “So what’s your name now?”
I swallowed. Fuck. This wasn’t going to go well at all. I already knew that.
“What? You can’t tell me?” Her eyes shot daggers in my direction.
“My name is Scott,” I said quietly.
Her eyes narrowed.
“Baxter.”
I knew the moment she put the pieces together because her face got pale and then she squeezed her eyes shut.
“Get out of my house,” she said qu
ietly.
“Casey, please,” Liz said, walking toward her.
“Get. Out. Of. My. House.” Her breathing was labored as she pointed to the front door. “All of you. Except Sandor. Get out.”
“Please let us explain,” Liz whispered, her eyes filling with tears.
“Get out!” Casey’s scream was filled with agony and I knew she was about to break. I gave Liz a gentle nudge.
“Let’s go.”
“But—”
“This isn’t the time. It’s only going to make things worse.”
“Get out!” Casey was shaking so hard I didn’t know what to do, but Sandor was at her side, trying to comfort her, though she shook off his hand. “Now!”
“I’m sorry, my love,” I whispered as I followed Ace and Liz out the front door.
7
Casey
I’d been hanging by a thread emotionally, but knowing Erik had married Liz was more than I could stand. Pain, humiliation, and myriad other emotions shot through me with such ferocity I couldn’t breathe. The minute they were out the door I picked up the candy dish in front of me and hurled it against the wall. The glass frame with Jayson’s and my wedding picture went next, smashing into a million pieces all over the marble hearth in front of the fireplace.
I screamed obscenities and broke a dozen vases, lamps, and picture frames, until the rage had burned itself out and I slid down the wall sobbing. Sandor hadn’t said or done anything while I’d been losing my mind and then he sank down beside me, pulling me into his arms. I cried like I had the day Erik had died, but this time it was my soul that was broken, because it felt like Erik had betrayed both me and the love I’d clung to all these years. I’d never dreamed he was capable of something so cruel, so completely beyond anything I could have imagined. That he was still alive was like a sucker punch to the gut; it shook my soul, my heart, my very existence to the core.
Sandor stroked my hair, my back, murmuring softly, telling me everything was going to be okay, that he was sorry he’d played a part in this. In spite of my own hurt, it occurred to me that he’d carried a terrible burden all these years and I hated it for him too. I wished he hadn’t lied to me, but he was loyal to a fault and if Erik had asked it of him, he would have done it. They were more like brothers than even Sandor and Daniil had been growing up, and he must have been torn between loyalty to Erik and his growing loyalty to me.