Meant to be Kept

by Amelia Foster

  Her tongue created a hot path, touching every inch and making his heart pound out of his chest. When her mouth encircled him, his knees started to buckle and the edge of the counter bit into his palm. Her hand held him tightly, meeting her lips with each devastating stroke.

  Belle locked her eyes with his as she moved. Her pupils were dilated and ablaze with desire.

  How could he have forgotten how soft her lips were, how hot her mouth was, and just how damn good she was at swirling her tongue around him and making his heart forget how to beat?

  He wanted to whisper his love. He wanted to tell her he hadn’t even realized how much he’d missed their connection until he felt it again. He wanted to drag her up by her shoulders and bury himself deep inside of her until she screamed his name.

  But he was helpless to do more than throw his head back and groan with the last flick of her tongue.

  Several minutes ticked by before his breathing evened and he found the strength to open his eyes.

  She offered a Cheshire cat grin, still positioned at his feet. “I do so love negotiating with you.”

  ***

  Thirty hours they’d been in the hospital. Tanner’s parents had peeled him from her side yesterday just long enough to go home for a quick shower and change of clothes. He packed a bag while he was there to bring back, determined not to have a reason to leave again.

  Belle’s long dark lashes rested against pale cheeks. She’d had three doses of the medication that was supposed to help the twins’ lungs develop enough to be delivered and each time she’d been violently ill. When he thought his heart couldn’t possibly hurt anymore, another wave of nausea would hit and he’d sit beside her in the bathroom, helpless to do anything other than rub her back.

  He did little more than move his gaze back and forth from her sleeping face to the monitors beeping at her side. The babies were stable. Belle was stable. The contractions had slowed a lot but not stopped.

  The new doctor, a younger and kinder doctor, who had taken over when Dr. MacMillan’s shift ended, entered the room and Tanner reached over to squeeze Belle’s hand. “Hey, sweetheart, Dr. Cook is here.”

  The woman took a seat on the foot of Belle’s hospital bed and laid a hand on Belle’s blanket-covered leg. “How is Mom feeling today?”

  Belle’s face brightened, and Tanner felt an overwhelming desire to send the doctor a huge bouquet of flowers simply for making his wife happy. “I’m good unless you tell me I need another round of those steroids.”

  Chuckling, Dr. Cook shook her head. “No. No more medication.” Her features sobered. “But you know we haven’t been able to completely stop the contractions. And even though your babies are stable right now, I don’t think it’s in their best interest or yours to wait any longer. I had them hold your breakfast this morning so we could take you down for a Caesarean section today.”

  Belle’s grip on his hand tightened painfully. Her eyes widened and Tanner could see the tears collecting in the corners. “But they are eight weeks early.”

  Dr. Cook nodded and tucked a stray piece of her short brown hair behind her ear. “Yes, and they will need to be in the NICU for a period of time once they are born, but we’ve come to a place where we can do more for them on the outside than the inside.”

  Her gaze flew from the doctor to Tanner’s. “But Tanner can be there, right?”

  “Damn straight I’ll be there,” he answered, before the doctor could speak. No force was strong enough to stop him. His wife needed him. His kids needed him. He’d never let them down.

  The doctor pinned him with an irritated gaze before smiling at Belle. “Yes, he can be there during the surgery.”

  The phone encased at his hip rang out an alert just at that moment. After a cursory glance at the screen, he squeezed Belle’s hand once more before standing. “That’s them. I’ll be right back, sweetheart.” He kissed her forehead and nodded a silent farewell to the doctor.

  He jogged over to the elevators and repeatedly tapped the down arrow. As soon as the doors opened, Tanner punched the G button and crossed his arms as the elevator lowered him to the ground floor. His parents were huddled just to the right.

  He had debated calling Belle’s parents the night they came to the hospital, but fear of the stress her family would cause made him dial his parents instead. Within minutes they were there, waiting in the wings until Belle was ready for visitors. He’d never felt more grateful for their unquestioning support or the love they showered on Belle. She’d practically dissolved into his mother’s arms the second she crossed the threshold.

  Tracy’s eyes were filled with concern. “How is she today, son?”

  “Tired, hungry, sick, and getting ready for surgery it sounds like.” He closed his eyes and let his shoulders drop, reality sinking in as he spoke the words out loud.

  Needing no further information, his mother marched resolutely to the elevators, sparing them little more than a backwards glance. “Well, come on then.”

  By the time they reached her room, the doctor had left. Belle looked so small, so desolate in the hospital bed it made Tanner’s heart drop to the floor. He crossed the room to drop a soft kiss on her lips. “Hey, sweetheart, told you I’d be right back.”

  Her eyes were filled with fear, but a small smile curved her lips. “Our babies are going to be here today.”

  He matched her smile with his own and took a seat on the bed beside her. “Yeah, they are. And they will be as strong and as smart as their mama.”

  Her eyes fell on his parents, hovering just inside the doorway, her bravery not faltering in the slightest. “I hope you guys are ready to be grandparents because they will be back in an hour to take us down.”

  She lifted a hand to grip the one Tanner held against her cheek. “You stay with them, okay? When they take them to the NICU and evaluate them and everything. You stay with them.”

  “But sweetheart…”

  Belle shook her head, cutting off any further argument from him. “I’ll be fine but I won’t be able to see them right away.” Tears began to fill her eyes again and her voice shook. “Baby, I need you to stay with them.”

  His instinct was to never leave her side. He’d promised her that more than once. But he could never refuse her anything. And if he wasn’t with the twins, she would be worried. A war raged inside him at the very idea of walking away from his wife while she lay on the operating room table.

  Before he could answer, a hand landed on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Tanner. I’ll wait right outside the door for Izzy.”

  Belle nodded and squeezed his hand. “See, baby, I’ll be fine.”

  He wanted to fight it, every cell in his body screamed that it was the exact opposite of what he should do, but then a smiling nurse in light blue scrubs entered the room. “We’re going to get you ready to head downstairs and meet your babies, Mrs. Carlisle!”

  Tanner followed behind, only half hearing the chattering nurse’s instructions on where he could change into scrubs and what he needed to do next. His stomach churned. He didn’t want to leave Belle.

  He couldn’t shake the feeling this would be the biggest mistake of his life.

  Chapter

  Twenty-Five

  Izzy

  Izzy carried a tray of drinks outside and set them on the glass patio table. Just then, her youngest brother-in-law performed an unnecessarily exaggerated cannonball into the pool, causing a riot of laughter from her children floating nearby, always entertained by Uncle Dean. She could only roll her eyes in response.

  Tanner’s arms slid around her waist from behind, and he began planting soft kisses along her neck. “Hey there, sweetheart.”

  She shivered, annoyed and excited all at the same time. It really wasn’t fair the effect he still had on her. In some ways, even stronger than it had been when they were younger. A grin spread over her lips. Her only consolation was knowing just how much she could still tease him.

  Izzy turned in his arms and gave him a
long, lingering kiss before he broke away, peeled off his tank top with a wink and joined his brother and the kids in the pool. So incredibly unfair.

  Valiantly trying to think of anything other than the water dripping down Tanner’s broad chest and muscular abs, Izzy wandered over to the grill where her father-in-law methodically flipped the burgers. “Need any help?”

  His gaze swept over the all the supplies lined up on the stand beside him. “Naw, Iz, I’m good, honey.”

  She shrugged and stood on her tiptoes to offer Mike a peck on the cheek. “Okay, I’m going to go check on Mom then.”

  “It’s okay for you to relax too, you know, Iz.”

  Izzy grinned in response. “Now, what kind of fun is that?”

  Just then Izzy spied Tanner in the pool, raking back his wet hair and laughing at something Noah said. Her grin faded and her mouth went dry. Her fingers itched to play with each strand. Her thoughts involuntarily went back to the past few weeks and the reminder of just how much she loved him and appreciation for the effort he put in to changing for her, for them, hit her with unexpected force.

  She turned to go into the house before she burst into uncontrollable sobs on her in-law’s patio or jumped into the pool fully clothed to throw herself into Tanner’s arms.

  Yes, he had done something wrong. Yes, he had spent the past several years with his priorities so far out of whack it had changed both of them and affected their entire family. And yes, it hurt even worse knowing he had nearly done the same thing her father had so many years ago.

  Izzy slid the glass door shut behind her and leaned against it with a sigh. But he wasn’t ignoring the problem. He was owning it. Fixing it. And making sure she knew exactly how he felt and where she stood in his life.

  She didn’t need another week of dates to make up her mind. She already knew.

  A grin played about the corners of her mouth. And she would make absolutely sure he knew tonight.

  Voices from the den to the left pulled Izzy’s attention away from her happy, contented thoughts. She loved all of Tanner’s brothers, but arguments and schemes always abounded when they were together, especially on the rare occasions Wyatt was home.

  She walked silently to the doorway, intent on finding out which it was and shutting it down before they created any headaches.

  “You need to figure out a way to get rid of these, Wyatt.”

  Her brows drew together. Connor sounded anxious, a strange tone for him. He was usually the peacemaker.

  “They aren’t mine,” Wyatt argued. “I got tagged in the pictures on social media but there is no way for me to get rid of them.”

  “Don’t you have a manager or something that can talk to her? Get her to listen to reason?” Connor’s voice was hushed but panicked.

  Wyatt scoffed. “You expect some random chick looking to attach herself to me in any way possible to get her fifteen minutes of fame is going to listen to reason? Connor, she’s only going to pay attention to dollar signs.”

  Izzy could hear one of them—Connor?—pacing the room. “Then pay her off.” His voice rose. “I don’t care what you have to do. You weren’t here, Wyatt. Things weren’t good. But look at them, they’re happy. If Izzy sees those pictures…”

  An icy feeling washed over her from head to toe. Pictures? Of what? Of who? And then realization hit. Tanner and her. She clapped a hand over her mouth, nausea welling inside of her. Her heart and her head went to battle, one needing to know, to see, to gain all the facts and the other wanting to run away and forget she’d ever heard a single word.

  Her head won. She marched into the room, one hand extended. “Show me.”

  Both brothers paled, eyes wide at her sudden presence. Had it been any other time, any other circumstance, she would have laughed at their reaction.

  Connor was the first to gain his voice. “No, Iz, you don’t need to see these.”

  She pinned them both with an equally vicious glare. “He is my husband. This is my life. I need to know. I deserve to know. Now show me the pictures.”

  Wyatt gulped and handed his smartphone over with a shaking hand. “Izzy, this can’t possibly change anything. You already knew.”

  But knowing and seeing were two vastly different things. She swiped her finger to the right, her breath coming in shorter bursts, scrolling through the pictures. The completely innocuous and meaningless ones only fueled her anger, knowing something much worse lay in wait.

  And then she saw it. The phone slipped from her grip and fell to the red area rug with a thud. A hand landed on her shoulder but she recoiled from the touch, tears filling her eyes. She backed out of the room needing to escape, needing to leave, needing…something she couldn’t even begin to identify.

  “Izzy, please.” Connor’s normally calm voice was anxious. “Please, sit down, let us get Tanner and—”

  “No!” She screamed the single word. “No, you are not getting Tanner.”

  She turned and ran through the house, fleeing out the front door. Izzy thought she could move past it, and when she was just this mythical thing, maybe she could, but now she was real.

  And she had put her hands in Tanner’s hair. The exact same way Izzy always had. The one thing that had always been special, just between them.

  She fell to her knees beside the SUV parked in front of the house, leaned her forehead against the hot metal of the door and sobbed. It had been special. It had been hers. And now it was gone.

  ***

  I will be fine. The twins will be fine.

  Izzy repeated the mantra over and over, trying to muster the conviction she’d used on Tanner.

  She couldn’t suppress the giggle that bubbled up when Tanner walked through the door dressed in scrubs, complete with a mask and cap. “Just when I thought I’d seen everything.”

  His blue eyes twinkling above the mask, he sauntered over to stand in front of where she sat sideways on the operating table. “Maybe I should have gone to medical school instead of that whole MBA thing.”

  Izzy grasped his shoulders and curved her back outward the way she had been instructed, resting her forehead against his abdomen. “Nope. I love seeing you in a suit. And I love negotiating with you even more.” The last word ended on a gasp as the needle pierced her skin.

  His hand stroked down her hair. “And I love everything about you, sweetheart.”

  As soon as the small tube was placed in her back, she felt like a whirlwind of activity broke out around them. Before she realized it, she was laid down on her back, her right arm was strapped down, and a paper sheet hung over her chest, blocking her view.

  Izzy turned her head to the left, just as much to make sure Tanner hadn’t left as to speak to him. “Baby, remember, you need to go with the twins, okay? Promise. Promise me you will go with them and stay with them until I’m allowed to move.”

  For several long minutes, his only response was silence, his brows drawn together. “I promise. I’ll go with them.”

  She relaxed then and rolled her head back so she could stare at the ceiling and continue to remind herself that everything was going to be just fine.

  Even though she couldn’t feel anything from her chest down, she began to feel an odd sensation of pulling and tugging.

  After what felt like an interminable length of time listening to mindless chatter between the doctor and nurses, a tiny, writhing baby was held up over the paper curtain. “Congratulations, it’s a girl!”

  A fraction of the breath she had been holding released when a squeak sounded from her daughter and they whisked her away to be cleaned and examined.

  She turned her head back to Tanner and smiled. “Ava Marie. Don’t forget.”

  He merely nodded in response, and for the fourth time since they first met, she saw a tear escape his eyes. Her heart clenched at the sight and her own threatened to fall, although she could scarcely believe she had a single one left after the past two days of nearly incessant crying.

  Moments later, a smaller, much
more vocal baby was held up. “And a boy!”

  Izzy sought out Tanner’s gaze again. “Noah Michael. Don’t worry and don’t leave them, okay?”

  He paused for the briefest of moments, and Izzy was certain he’d argue, he’d say something. But he just nodded and kissed her forehead through the cloth mask before trailing after the two cots already leaving the room, each with their own team affixing tubes and monitors as they went.

  She tracked him as long as she could without being able to pick up her head. Her mind began to race with questions. How long before she could go see the babies? They both cried, so that meant they were okay, right? Were there twenty fingers and twenty toes?

  Her head felt oddly light and, despite trying to form words, her mouth didn’t seem to want to work. Izzy’s heart began to race. Why couldn’t she talk?

  Her vision blurred and she blinked a few times, trying to focus on the ceiling. Her breaths turned shallow, and she was certain she would hyperventilate any moment. The monitors to her right began to ring out an alarm, and she heard an oath from the foot of the bed.

  The anesthesiologist that had placed her epidural leaned close to her ear and spoke in a calming tone. “I’m going to put this mask over your face, honey. Take a few deep breaths and you’ll start to feel sleepy.”

  She tried to ask why. She tried to ask what was wrong. She tried to ask why the doctor was yelling out that she needed more A-positive. That was her blood type.

  Just before her vision darkened and all the sounds around her ceased, she could have sworn she heard the panicked voice of the doctor saying the bleeding just wouldn’t stop and they needed permission from the next of kin…

  Chapter

  Twenty-Six

  Tanner

  “Ava, Noah, come on guys, time to get out of the pool. We need to go home.”

  Home? Tanner shook his head to the side, certain the chlorine water filling his ears had affected his hearing.