Another Mother

by Kim Hartfield

  “That’s all you have to say?” Cole growled. “Oh?”

  “What am I supposed to say?” I asked. “My husband is gone. My baby is dead. What do I care about anything? My life is over.”

  “Cut!” Jim yelled, and the scene came to a halt. He marched straight to me, not even sparing Aaron and Cole a glance. “I don’t know where you are right now, Katie, but you’re not here.”

  “I’m sorry?”

  “This scene is supposed to be intense. Emotional. ‘My baby is dead. What do I care about anything?’ Try saying it like you give a shit. You sounded like you were reading the phone book.”

  My stomach twisted. Getting yelled at like this had me on the verge of tears, and the worst part was that he was right. My mind was on Sarah, not on my acting. How could I pretend to be upset about a fictional child dying when I was actually upset about a real-life break-up?

  “I’ll try harder.” Maybe I could channel my pain and use it for the camera. I needed to focus and give a performance I’d be proud of.

  “Okay,” Jim said. “Let’s try again.”

  We ran the same scene, and Jim let it go on without stopping us. I cried about my daughter’s death, summoning real tears for Emma’s character. I did miss that kid, in reality. The set wasn’t the same without her constantly buzzing around and asking questions. Filming this episode without her just felt wrong.

  When we cut, Jim gave me a subtle nod. “Better.”

  That was as good as I could hope for. “I’ll keep it up, I promise.”

  I drifted to the edge of the set as the camera operators set up for the next close-up. Normally I would’ve been looking around to see if Sarah was here, and if she wasn’t, I might’ve gone and harassed her in the boardroom. Instead, I locked eyes with Cole.

  “Nice job there,” he said.

  “Oh, please. You don’t have to lie.” I’d never been completely comfortable with Cole, since he was around my age yet got to play a teenager. That made it feel even weirder when Jim yelled at me and not him.

  “No, you were great,” he said. “Whatever you did after Jim interrupted, it really worked.”

  “Well, thanks.” I shrugged self-consciously. “Kind of sucks when I’m the only one he yells at all the time, though.”

  “Are you kidding?” Cole’s eyes bugged out. “Have you forgotten yesterday, when he read me the riot act for forgetting a line?”

  I frowned. That did ring a bell—it just hadn’t stood out at the time. “Right.”

  “Or Monday during the cold read, when Aaron kept tripping over his lines because he hadn’t had his coffee yet.”

  “Okay, yeah.” Maybe it wasn’t just me. “You guys are always fantastic, though. He only gives you a hard time to motivate you.”

  “Same with you.”

  I thought about that as the next scene began. Maybe I wasn’t the worst actor in this show. Maybe the show had no bad actors.

  Emma had been the heart and soul of the show, but it’d been the writers’ decision to kill her off it. All I could do for these last two episodes was try to do her justice.

  “I’ve had enough of your bullshit,” Aaron roared at Cole. “You tied me up like a goddamn animal, and that little girl still died. How can you say I’m the killer now? One of you did it.”

  I tried to look shocked. In reality, I thought this would’ve been the first thing I’d realize, but I guessed my character was too blindsided by her daughter’s death to think through anything. “I wouldn’t have killed her,” I said. “You both know I wouldn’t have. It must’ve been you!” I pointed a trembling finger at Cole.

  “You’re right, Ivy,” Aaron rasped. “He killed your husband, and now your daughter, too. He’s never been right in the head, ever since he was a little boy. I knew he wasn’t. I never should’ve let things get this far.”

  “It’s not true,” Cole told me. “He’s the psycho in this family. He’s always been crazy. I never trusted him. He always hit Mom and Lida and me.”

  “Don’t listen to him,” Aaron said. “You know me, Ivy. We’ve known each other for so long. You’d know if I was anything like that. I’m a nice, normal guy, and I need you to set me free.”

  I looked from one to the other, my heart actually racing with the drama of it. “You must be right,” I said to Aaron. “You were tied up, you couldn’t have hurt Naomi. Gavin was free. It must’ve been him.”

  “No, Ivy, he got loose somehow,” Cole said.

  “Then what?” I asked sarcastically. “He tied himself up again?”

  “Check my restraints and see,” Aaron said desperately. “They’re the exact same as you tied them last night. I haven’t done anything to get out of them.”

  I took a step toward him, then let out a sigh. “I don’t even care anymore. My baby girl is dead. There’s no point to anything anymore.”

  “Ivy, you don’t understand,” Aaron said. “It’s only the three of us left. If you don’t let me free so I can subdue him, you’re going to be next.”

  “And cut,” Jim yelled. “Good job, everyone. Let’s run through it one more time.”

  If only I could have a repeat on my relationship with Sarah.

  Twenty-Five – Sarah

  I sat alone in my kitchen, my headphones blocking out noise, my laptop set up in front of me. My fingers moved over the keyboard at breakneck speed. I was still catching up after having fallen behind, and I was trying to transcribe at a higher speed of audio than normal.

  “And how long did Ron spend at his mother’s house?” the lawyer asked.

  “Ten days,” the woman answered.

  I tapped away furiously. My grimace probably showed on my face—luckily no one was here to see it. Transcribing divorce proceedings and depositions always made me think back to my own, which had been a low point in my life.

  “Were you two in touch during that time?” the lawyer asked.

  “I texted and called, but he wouldn’t reply.”

  “Did you visit?”

  “I showed up at the door, but his mom wouldn’t let me in.”

  “And you still had the kids?”

  “All three kids, yes.”

  Shaking my head, I hit “pause” to take a breath. This interview was hitting too close to home. This was the exact kind of thing David would’ve pulled if we’d stayed together. God, he was such a piece of shit.

  I took a sip of water, trying to clear my mind so I could keep transcribing. Funny, I’d thought of Katie as irresponsible, but I couldn’t see her ever doing anything like that. She was way too sweet and loving, once you got beneath her scratchy surface.

  She’d screwed up while we were together… but… I’d screwed up, too. And I was Emma’s mom. Katie had actually done a pretty good job at being Emma’s mom’s secret new girlfriend. I’d put her in a tough situation, and she’d still gotten closer to Emma and started to relate more and more to her.

  Had I messed up by breaking up with her? It was the same question I’d been asking myself over and over for the past week. I knew my own heart was broken, but I’d done what was right for Emma. Hadn’t I?

  Yanking my headphones off, I leaned back in my chair to think. Katie had done everything I’d asked her to. She hadn’t wanted to be kept a secret, but she’d accepted it. She’d helped Emma financially multiple times, and without being asked. The other times she’d made mistakes—not waking me up so I was late picking Emma up, and making out in the boardroom—I’d made them along with her.

  So how could I blame her? She’d done her best, and she’d been willing to do whatever else I asked of her. And how had I repaid her? I’d told her there was no chance for us—even though I wanted to be with her more than anything else in the world.

  My eyes glazing over, I stared at my computer screen. God, I’d fucked up. Valerie had said as much to me when I’d explained the situation, and so had my mom. I’d said the break-up was for Emma’s sake, and yet Emma liked Katie. After her initial freak-out, she’d gone right bac
k to liking Katie!

  So why had I been so determined to cut things off? I hung my head, not wanting to think about the answer. Could it be that things had been starting to feel more serious? With Emma no longer on the show, our relationship was going to change.

  We’d have to meet at night for real dates rather than casual lunches, which would lead to telling more people, and then introducing each other to friends and family. It was going to be a real relationship, whereas on-set, it’d felt almost like a dream.

  And the realness would’ve made me have to confront some of my insecurities about it. Like being older and frumpier than Katie, and worrying about how people would perceive the two of us being together.

  Then there was the fact that she was the first woman I’d dated, and once the press got wind of it, we’d be in the public eye. I didn’t want to care about things like that, but if I was to be completely honest, it did stress me out. Experimenting in private, even going so far as to call each other girlfriends—that was one thing, and being plastered on the front page of tabloids was another.

  The media wasn’t known for nuance, and they wouldn’t report that I’d always been straight until I’d fallen for one woman. I’d be publicly branded as a lesbian, which meant if things ever didn’t work out with Katie, it’d be difficult to go back to dating men.

  But that was the thing, wasn’t it? I didn’t want to go back to dating men. I didn’t want to date anyone but Katie.

  I had to get her back.

  *

  As soon as Emma got on the school bus the next day, I drove to the studio. I’d debated waiting until the afternoon, which would’ve allowed me to work in the morning, but I couldn’t convince myself to waste another minute. I wanted to see Katie again—to kiss her, hold her, and tell her I wanted to be with her—and I wanted that now.

  My hands trembled slightly as I parked. This all felt so familiar—it was what I’d done every morning until about a week ago. Except this time, things were completely different.

  I went inside, my heart pounding as I passed the boardroom. I didn’t want to draw anyone’s attention. What if someone caught me and kicked me out of the building before I could even reach Katie?

  I made it to the set, and my heart fluttered at the sound of her voice—and I realized she was in the middle of acting out a scene. I’d pictured her standing there, arms open, waiting for me, but of course she was busy. Now all I could do was wait around awkwardly until she was done.

  Jim stood behind a camera, watching the scene on the small screen. Hearing me come in, he looked up and frowned at me. He raised a finger to his lips, as if I didn’t already know I should be quiet on-set.

  I stood to the side and observed the scene, which seemed to be just getting started. Katie was huddled in the corner, while Aaron stood in the middle, pieces of twine falling from his hands as if he’d just been untied. He faced Cole, and they stared menacingly at each other.

  “Gavin, I know you killed that little girl,” Aaron rasped. “You killed all those others, too.”

  “You did it, Dad. You know you did.”

  Aaron stepped forward, putting a hand over Cole’s throat. From her spot in the corner, Katie let out a muffled scream. Neither of the men paid her any attention.

  “Give it up,” Aaron said. “I didn’t kill anyone. We both know who the real murderer is.”

  “Fine,” Cole spat. “I killed them all. Is that what you want to hear? I killed Mom, I killed Lida. I killed the neighbor and his little brat. Are you happy now?”

  Aaron’s grip on Cole’s neck loosened. “You killed my wife… your own mother…”

  Cole nodded slowly. “I did, and if you kill me, you’ll be just as bad.”

  The moment of hesitation was long enough for Katie to attack. She jumped away from her corner, wielding a knife. She slashed at Cole, and I knew the post-production team would fill this part in with guts and gore. Even without it, my heart was in my throat. She looked savage and wild—and as beautiful as ever.

  “Gavin!” Aaron screamed, standing over his son. “You—you killed him.” Tears dripped down his cheeks. “He’s gone, but you saved my life.”

  “Not for long,” Katie said sadistically. “I still don’t know which of you two killed my daughter, and I don’t really care.” She held up the knife.

  God, I was terrified and I was twenty feet away. Aaron had to be shaking in his boots. “Please, no,” he said. “It was Gavin. I swear, he’s never been right in the head. I don’t know why he would’ve done that to your daughter.”

  Katie put the tip of the blade to his throat. “Funny how you phrased that,” she said. “You do know why he would’ve killed my husband?”

  “Well…” Aaron audibly gulped.

  “If you know something, talk—while you still can.”

  “I just—I mean—the affair shouldn’t have bothered him that much.”

  Katie’s eyes darkened. “Affair?”

  “Archer and Charlotte. Your husband, my wife.” Aaron’s voice broke. “Of course he’d be upset, but—”

  “Archer cheated on me?” Katie’s voice dropped to a whisper.

  “I thought you knew,” Aaron said. “I thought everyone knew.”

  “So Gavin killed them?”

  A long moment went by. “No,” Aaron said. “I did.”

  “You?”

  “I wanted them to suffer the way I suffered,” he growled, and wrenched the knife out of Katie’s hand. “I wanted a clean break from it, so that I could start again. With you.”

  Katie stumbled back, tripping over Cole’s prone body. “You and me?”

  “It would’ve been perfect,” Aaron said. “Us, the loyal ones—the ones who never deserved to be wronged. It should’ve been us all along.”

  “And Lida,” Katie said. “You killed your own daughter.”

  “She knew too much. She would’ve dragged us down.”

  “And Naomi,” Katie said. “My baby.”

  “That wasn’t me,” Aaron said. “I was tied up, I swear. You tied me up yourself.”

  Katie nodded slowly. “You were still tied up when she was killed. But, my little girl… Why…”

  “I don’t know why Gavin would’ve killed her,” Aaron said. “I just remember that when he was a little boy, he was like me—always killing insects, and then small animals. I think he saw a chance, and he took it. He wanted to know what it was like to take a human life.”

  “You’re telling me my daughter, my sweet Naomi… my beautiful baby girl was killed for fun?” Katie let out a wordless shriek, and then she plunged the knife into Aaron’s heart.

  My body jerked forward—my first instinct was to race forward to stop her. Catching myself, I stayed where I was. I’d gotten completely caught up in the scene, so much I’d thought she’d actually hurt him. I’d forgotten the knife she had was only a prop.

  “And scene!” Jim called. “Absolutely fantastic job, everyone.”

  The three actors stood up and brushed themselves off, visibly catching their breath. The last few minutes had been so intense even for me, over here on the sidelines—I couldn’t imagine how they had to be feeling.

  “Some great acting there,” Jim went on. “Katie, you have a visitor. Don’t take too long. We still need to film your last scenes.”

  Katie caught sight of me, and her eyes went wide. Her plush lips pinched together, and all I wanted to do was slide my tongue between them. I moved to hug her, then started to reach out a hand for a shake, then gave up and dropped both arms. There was no appropriate gesture to make when the woman you’d recently dumped had just blown you away.

  “I wanted to talk, if you have a minute.” I half-expected her to say no. Her scenes today were so intense, I knew she wouldn’t want to be distracted.

  But she nodded and, staying a careful distance away, took me to the boardroom. She sank into a chair, pulling out the one next to it.

  “That was amazing,” I said to start off. “I’ve never seen
you act like that. Actually, I’ve never seen anything like that.”

  “Oh.” Her cheeks went pink. “It was nothing.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “Okay, it was hard and intense and I had to reach way down into my gut to muster up the depths of emotion I needed for that scene. And it’s nothing like the sitcom I was on in my teens, and I’m terrified the public will reject it just like they did the last time I put my heart and soul into something. But I put my heart and soul into it anyway.” She deflated after the words finished spilling from her, as if keeping them inside had been keeping her upright.

  “That’s fantastic, Katie. I really mean that.”

  She laughed self-consciously. “So… why are you here? You just had to see how the show’s going to end?”

  “No, but how is it going to end?”

  “It’s going to be pretty cool, actually. I’ll dig my way out of the cabin, past the icy corpses buried in the snow, and emerge to the rising sun, blood-splattered and triumphant.”

  That was going to look amazing. “I can’t wait to see it.” I paused. Now that it was time to address what I’d come here for, I was suddenly shy. “I want you back, Katie.”

  She blinked, then blinked again. “You do?”

  “I did a lot of thinking, and I was wrong to ever break up with you. It was my own fears and insecurities getting in the way. I was afraid dating again would make me a bad parent, and I was scared of what other people would think. But you were right—you’ve been right all along. I have to live my own life and do what feels right to me, and Katie, that’s being with you.”

  Her eyelashes fluttered as if she was trying to keep herself from crying. “This… is a lot.”

  “I know. And I shouldn’t have done this here, while you’re at work. I messed up.”

  She touched my arm, ever so gently, but meaningfully. “I guess we all mess up sometimes.” After placing a soft kiss on my forehead, she went to the door. “Let’s get together tonight.”

  Slowly, I nodded. “I’ll pick you up here.”