“Okay. I understand. But if you ever want to talk—”
“No.” Partly she just didn’t want to reveal her stupidity, but mostly it was because Michelle was headed this way with an order pad in hand.
She stopped at the end of the table and looked at the children. “Hi, Danielle. Maggie, she’s getting so big.”
“Just turned one,” the proud mother said. “Same age as Kyle.”
“It’s good to see you again, Emma. You, too, Mr. Kyle.” She smiled at the babies. “Are these two little ones having their first date?”
“No,” the two women said together with vehemence.
“Okay, then.” Michelle laughed. “I am so sorry it took me such a long time to get over here.”
“No problem. Emma and I have just been getting better acquainted.”
“You’re so sweet. We’re short a waitress today. She had the flu and no one wants to be around that, including Alan and me. We told her to stay home and get better.” She glanced sympathetically at each of them. “But you must be starved.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Emma had lost her appetite the moment Maggie suggested the diner. “The kids are happy. If they weren’t, the crying would hit a decibel level that could be heard in the next county and you’d have begged us to leave.”
“No,” the other woman said teasingly. “That’s not the best way to keep customers coming back.”
“I guess not.”
“So, what can I get you?”
Emma didn’t need to look at the menu. “When Justin and I were here—”
“What?” Maggie stared at her. “This is news. You were here on a date?”
“It wasn’t a date. We just had dinner—”
“Michelle, did you see this dinner?” Maggie was on a mission.
“I did.”
“And?” The other woman studied the diner owner, then glanced at Emma. A curious expression slid into her eyes.
“It looked friendly enough.” A diplomatic answer. “But not too friendly.”
“Thank you,” Emma said.
“I just noticed something.” Maggie looked back and forth between them. Comparing. “Your eyes are almost exactly the same color.”
Emma was just starting to relax, but now her heart jumped. “Really?”
“Yes. And the shape of your faces is very similar.”
“You don’t say?” The older woman looked more closely at Emma. “I consider that a compliment. You are so pretty and if Justin Flint doesn’t see it, then he’s not as smart as a doctor should be.”
“Thank you again. I think.” Emma wished she needed a menu. Maybe she could hide behind it. “You’re shorthanded. We should order. I think Kyle would like the Bear Cub combo. He loves macaroni and cheese. And just a Mama Bear burger for me.”
“I’ll have the same,” Maggie said.
“Coming right up. And I’ll bring a warm-up for those coffees.”
When she was gone, Emma felt as if she could breathe again, trying to tell herself that this was no big deal. How many times had she been out with a friend and someone commented that they looked like sisters? That they must be related. What had just happened was the same thing, but she couldn’t make herself believe the lie.
They were related.
Should she feel something for the woman? Her mother? The truth was, they were strangers. But how long before someone else noticed the resemblance and there was no way to blow it off?
Maybe this was the sign she’d been waiting for.
* * *
Justin watched Emma all through dinner, trying to figure out if she was upset or tired. Or both. She’d gone through the evening ritual of telling him about Kyle’s day socializing and lunch at the Grizzly Bear Diner. Mentioning the restaurant her parents owned had made her mouth pull tight. If he had to put money on it, he’d bet something happened at lunch.
If he was smart, he’d mind his own business, but apparently he wasn’t that bright, after all. He just couldn’t stand the haunted look in her eyes.
After Kyle was tucked into his crib and sound asleep, it was her habit to putter in the kitchen. Before she went to her room, she got things ready for the Flints’ morning rush. Everything was put together for breakfast except the food, and often she made a lunch for him to take to work. After turning off his computer in the office, that’s where he found her now.
“Emma?”
She turned away from measuring grounds into a coffeemaker filter. “Hi. Is there something you need?”
You. The surge of yearning was startling in its intensity, but he was almost sure he didn’t say that out loud. She looked so beautiful, so fragile and unhappy that he pushed his own feelings aside. More than he wanted her, he wanted to chase away whatever was troubling her.
“No,” he said. “I don’t need anything.” He moved closer and leaned back against the island, sliding his fingers into the pockets of his jeans. A reminder to keep them to himself. “Do you want to talk about anything?”
Her gaze snapped to his and her hand froze. “Why would you think that? Did I do something wrong?”
“No, of course not. It’s just you’re not your usual perky self.”
Justin had learned to watch his wife, read her mood, interpret when things were going her way and when to stay out of her way. He was pretty good at reading women, and mostly Emma had been easygoing—sweet, funny and sassy, which was why this pensive quality concerned him so much.
“What’s bothering you?” he asked.
“It’s not something that will affect my ability to care for Kyle. I’ll handle it. Don’t worry. It’s not your responsibility. You’re my boss.”
“And your friend. At least I thought we were.” They were something and it was a bad idea to define exactly what. Friends was the simplest label. “It might help to talk out whatever is going on.”
She stared at him for several moments before the tension in her body eased with a slight nod. “Something happened at the diner today.”
“Okay.” He folded his arms over his chest. “Since there was no breaking news on the local TV station, you’re going to have to give me a tiny bit more.”
She thought for a moment, then said, “It’s going to sound stupid when I say it out loud.”
“I promise not to point and laugh.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better, but I sense you’re not going to back off.” She sighed. “Okay, here goes. Maggie Potter noticed that Michelle and I have some of the same physical characteristics. Face shape. Eye color.”
“She said you look alike?”
“Not quite that direct. Just that there’s a resemblance.”
“She’s your mother. If someone looks for it—”
“That’s what bothers me,” she said. “Maggie doesn’t know. It was just an observation.”
“Tell your mother the truth,” he suggested.
“It’s not that simple. They might hate me. What if they think I’m like the woman who took me?”
“Why would they?”
“I don’t know,” she said helplessly. “Maybe because my whole life is a lie.”
“No, it’s not.”
“It feels that way. My fiancé cheated on me and I didn’t know. That relationship was a lie. And my mother let me believe she gave birth to me when, in fact, she took me away from another woman.” Her brown eyes were dark with the conflict raging inside her. “I can’t bring myself to tell Michelle the truth, so doesn’t that make me a product of my environment? A liar, too?”
“No.” He rejected that categorically. “The woman who kidnapped you did a bad thing and we’ll never know what desperation drove her to do it. But she didn’t raise you to be a deceitful person. If that were the case, you wouldn’t have told me the truth aft
er I hired you. None of this is your fault.”
“Not the situation, but I’m certainly responsible for what’s going on now. And I was wrong. It is affecting my work performance.”
“No, it’s not.” His son was happy and healthy. His household ran like a well-oiled machine. She did her job superbly. She wasn’t to blame for the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about her in his bed.
“Don’t you see? If I was doing my job well, you’d never have known there was something bothering me. I’m normally a better nanny than this.” Her eyes filled with what looked like pity directed at him. “You ought to have someone stronger, someone better. Especially after losing your wife.”
“Don’t,” he snapped.
“What?”
Justin was sick of holding this inside and couldn’t do it anymore. “Don’t pity me. I don’t deserve it.”
“I’m not. I don’t feel sorry for you. It’s just—”
“Nothing. Don’t say it,” he pleaded.
“I have to.” Her small smile was sad around the edges. “You lost the love of your life. A lot of people would have been immobilized by something like that, but you weren’t. You moved forward. You relocated to Blackwater Lake, a place where her memory wouldn’t get you down.”
“I came here so Kyle could have a normal, well-balanced life.”
“Where he wouldn’t miss his mother as much because people didn’t know her,” she protested.
“Unfortunately, my past followed me.”
“What do you mean?”
“People knew my story and treated me like the lonely widower—” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t stand living the lie.”
“You’re scaring me, Justin.” She folded her arms across her waist. “What are you talking about?”
“I didn’t love my wife. I wouldn’t have wished her dead because no matter her flaws, she was Kyle’s mother. Whatever she was, he needed her in his life and her being gone will always make him wonder what might have been. But when she died, we were separated. I’d asked her for a divorce. We both knew there was nothing between us anymore.”
She looked surprised but not disapproving. “No one knows this?”
“At first I didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted to forget and thought it would blow over, but somehow my previous life has become mysterious and intriguing. It was just easier to let them go on believing than to confess the truth. What could it hurt? She’s gone.” He didn’t see anything in Emma’s expression that hinted at her despising him. That was a plus. “After she was involved in that fatal car accident, it was the first and only time I was grateful that she’d ignored her child.”
“She turned her back on her baby?”
“All the time. Even when he wasn’t feeling well. Heaven forbid she’d miss a social thing. She’d still go to formal events, turning him over to me or the nanny. She walked out without looking back.” The memory made him angry all over again. “It drove me nuts how she could do that. Finally I realized that I didn’t much like the woman I married.”
Understanding dawned in Emma’s eyes. “You were grateful she ignored Kyle because he wasn’t in the car with her when she had the accident.”
“Yes.” He met her gaze because now that he was finally coming clean it was important that she fully understood how low he could go. “So, you’re not the only one living a lie. I’m not the man everyone thinks.”
“That’s your private past and no one’s business but yours. You’re a good man. Never doubt that.”
He wasn’t so sure. “It’s hard not to.”
“Oh, Justin—” She moved close and put her arms around him. “I’ve never seen someone who needs a hug more than you do right now.”
He had every intention of pushing her away. He really did. But the nearness of her body, the exquisite feel of her soft curves pressed against him were too much temptation after weeks of denying himself. Last night in the pumpkin patch when they’d held each other was never far from his mind. The feminine weight of her in his arms haunted his dreams and he wasn’t completely convinced that right this moment wasn’t another dream.
So he held her close for several moments and sighed, a ragged shuddering sound, because touching her overwhelmed his willpower.
“Emma—” Her name was a sigh on his lips as he cupped her cheek in his hand and lowered his mouth to hers.
A moan of acceptance caught in her throat and the sound set his blood on fire. His brain shut down as his senses kicked into overdrive. He kissed her slowly, thoroughly, concentrating on the feel of her full lips, the cadence of her quickened breathing, the silky hair that tickled his fingers.
He wanted more. The idea of carrying her to his room had far too much appeal and he ached to do just that. But some part of his sensation-drugged brain managed to sputter to life and convey the message that this wasn’t a good idea.
“Emma—” Justin pulled back, breathing hard. “I’m sorry. That was out of line.”
She met his gaze, her own breathing unsteady, her eyes full of wonder. “It was just a kiss.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.” He cupped her face in both hands now, unable to stop touching her. “I want more than just a kiss and we should stop right now.”
Her voice was husky, her expression full of sass and searing need when she said, “Maybe we shouldn’t.”
Chapter Eight
“One of us has to be strong.” The words were right, but there was no conviction in Justin’s voice. “Do we really want to take this step?”
Emma couldn’t speak for him, but she desperately wanted to. When he’d confessed to not being in love with the wife he’d lost, her reservations had disappeared. Or it could be the way he’d kissed her had chased away her will to resist. Either way, she couldn’t rally the enthusiasm to be the strong one here.
“Emma...” He brushed his thumb gently over her cheek as his eyes searched hers. “You’re so sweet—”
His hesitation took the air out of her brazen balloon. She’d jumped to a conclusion and it was wrong. He didn’t want her and, dear God, this was humiliating on so many levels.
She stepped away from him, incapable of thinking rationally when he was touching her. That much was obvious because apparently she’d been under the impression that if she let him know how she felt, he would want her, too.
“This was obviously a mistake. I’ll just be going. Good night, Justin.” She turned, prepared to head upstairs as fast as possible.
He put a hand on her arm. “Wait—”
Without looking at him, she shook her head. “You’re right. We have to be strong—”
“No.”
She heard the grinding need in his frustrated tone and gratefully turned into his arms, then slid her own around his waist. “I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I thought—”
“You’d be wrong.” He kissed her mouth softly, a peck and a promise. “I felt something the first time I saw you. When you came to my office at the clinic.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “I had an idea in my head of the nanny I was looking for and you’re not it. Except that you’re a natural with my son.”
“Oh? What was your vision?”
“Old. Gray. Plump. A wart on the end of your nose would have been an excellent qualification.”
“And you hired me, anyway.”
“Your work history and recommendations were impeccable.” He shrugged. “And I was so sure the attraction would go away. Wow, was I wrong about that.”
He wasn’t the only one, she thought. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“Emma?”
She left her hands at his waist and looked up at him. “What?”
“I’m taking you to b
ed now.”
“Yes.” She picked up the baby monitor beside her on the counter then slid her free hand into his.
Justin took her through the family room to the hall that led to the first-floor master bedroom. It was a suite, really, large and masculine, decorated in shades of brown, beige and black. The furniture was pine and so right for this house with its spectacular views of tree-covered mountains.
Obviously Emma had seen it, what with putting away laundry and replacing towels in the attached bath. But she’d never seen it from the perspective of being in the big, soft king-size bed with Justin. She’d fought so hard against this, but apparently it was true what they said about the wanting being bigger than both of them. The present was clear as a bell, but the future wasn’t. She refused to think about that right now and set the baby monitor on one of the nightstands by the bed, then turned to Justin.
Light from the hall trickled over his face as they stood beside the high mattress. Gray eyes stormy and intense, he reached for the hem of her sweater and lifted it up and off. She slowly unbuttoned his shirt, then spread it wide, sliding the cotton from his broad shoulders.
With their gazes locked, she reached behind her back to unhook her bra, letting it fall to the carpet at their feet on the growing pile of discarded clothing. Justin’s breath caught as he slowly reached out and gently took her left breast in his hand, rubbing the tip with his thumb.
“I honestly can’t believe how beautiful you are,” he whispered reverently.
“You make me feel that way.” Her heartbeat went wild as he caressed her bare, sensitive skin. Tingles two-stepped up and down her arms.
Without looking away, he reached for the buckle on his belt and unfastened it before flicking open the button on his jeans. After toeing off his shoes, he slid the zipper south and pushed off pants and briefs.
Emma removed her own sneakers and skimmed off everything until she was naked, too. Along with their clothes, it felt as if all pretense and secrets had been stripped away. They were simply a woman and a man who wanted each other. There were no barriers between them; this intimacy was honest.
Finding Family...and Forever? Page 10