Justin pulled her into his arms, skin to skin. He kissed her tenderly and left her needing so much more. But when he looked into her eyes, he put into words exactly what she’d been feeling.
“This is the first thing that feels real to me in a very long time.”
“I know what you mean.”
He let her go long enough to toss throw pillows aside and drag the comforter down, leaving the sheets bare. Then he took her in his arms again and held her tight against him while lowering them together onto the thick mattress.
His mouth took hers slowly, thoroughly, and when her lips parted, his tongue slid inside to explore the interior with just as much attention. On their sides facing each other, they nibbled and nipped, quick drugging kisses as his hand skimmed the curve of her waist. Moving first up to the side of her breast, his fingers stroked and touched until she could hardly stand the pressure building inside her. Then he slid his hand over her belly and lower, fingers hovering, teasing while her tension surged.
Emma drifted on a sea of sensation, each wave cresting until the next, larger swell took her breath away again. She let her hands roam freely, restless strokes up to his broad shoulders and down over the wide contour of his chest. When her palm brushed his nipple, he hissed out a sharp sound of arousal.
Each moment was like a bright fluffy cloud pushed by the wind across the sky before she could absorb the magnificence. She wanted to hold on to everything, keep each second close to her heart forever.
Then rational thought vanished completely as he touched a finger to the place at the juncture of her thighs where nerve endings came together. The sensation had her gasping against his lips and nearly brought her up off the mattress. Justin was panting with fractured breaths as he reached into the nightstand.
“What?”
“Condom—”
She nodded, unable to say anything else, grateful that he’d thought about it because she hadn’t. In seconds he’d ripped open the package and put on the protection. She rolled to her back as he levered himself over her, gently urging her legs wide with his knee. Then he braced on his forearms and slowly nudged inside, letting her grow accustomed to the feel of him, the thickness.
Emma turned her face into the masculine swell of his biceps and breathed in the tantalizing spicy scent of his skin. He moved inside her, stoking the knot of tension tighter and tighter until she came apart in a glorious explosion. He held her tenderly, kissed her forehead, cheek and hair, as pleasure rippled through her. When she could finally think again, she lifted her hips, urging him on until he went still and groaned out his own release.
“Oh, God, Emma. Not yet—” He buried his face in her neck.
She held him for a long time, something scratching at her thoughts, warning not to let go.
Not yet.
Finally, Justin rolled away and without a word got out of bed. Dimly she was aware of a light switching on, but she didn’t open her eyes.
In the darkness of burned-out passion, Emma could feel unease creeping in. Then the mattress dipped and Justin pulled her against his side. But she felt the difference, a distance, a reluctance. There was tension in his arms now where before he hadn’t been able to hold her close enough.
She’d managed to turn off her head because touching and being touched had felt too good to stop. It was two people doing what they wanted in all the right ways. Now all the ways it was wrong couldn’t be silenced. Just enough time had passed for the magnitude of what they’d done to penetrate the afterglow of lovemaking. Rules and regrets came rushing in.
“Justin, I’m sorry—”
“I’m not,” he said fiercely. “It’s just—”
She knew. “It can’t happen again. I’m the nanny and you’re my employer.”
“If that was all, I would just fire you.” There was anger and frustration in his voice. The words implied he had different reasons for backing off.
“Maybe you should let me go.” She’d find another job. Something to get by until she resolved her situation.
“It’s not that simple.” He rolled onto his side toward her. “I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea.”
“About what?” She pulled the sheet up more snugly, as if it could protect her from what was coming.
“We want different things. You’re looking for family and mine is already complete. I have Kyle and he’s all I want. I have no intention of ever marrying again. Nothing has changed for me.”
Hearing that he hadn’t liked his wife very much had freed her to make love with him, but the pain of what he’d gone through locked her out now. His words from the first job interview came back to her.
I’m not looking for a wife.
The thing was, he was right to say that. She wanted honesty and he’d been that way right from the beginning. Besides, her life was too complicated already. If they pulled back now, this was nothing more than momentary weakness. No harm, no foul.
“I understand, Justin. And you’re absolutely right. We’ll forget this ever happened.”
“Okay,” he answered with genuine regret. “That would be best.”
There was a snuffling sound from the baby monitor followed by a whimper. Bless that baby boy who spared her from having to say more.
“I need to check on Kyle.”
From now on, she would keep busy with the baby and try not to wonder how she was going to keep the promise she’d just made to his father.
Forget this ever happened? Fat chance.
* * *
“You had sex.”
Justin had no idea how Camille Halliday knew, but he didn’t plan to comment on her declaration. Instead, he pointed at her pregnant tummy and made a declaration of his own. “Someone certainly did.”
“Yes, but I’m in a relationship. And you didn’t deny it.”
He looked around the hallway to make sure no one in the clinic had heard what she said. “Do you enjoy being outrageous?”
The question was a deflection, mostly because he didn’t want to ask how she’d guessed. The guilt was probably there in his eyes; he was the scumbag boss. Creating a hostile work environment. Although what they did felt anything but hostile. Maybe he should start a new reality show about sleazy employers who slept with the staff. Except she’d been so warm and willing in his arms.
“I used to enjoy being outrageous when I was young and a mixed-up kid.” Cam settled her hands on her pregnant belly. “Now I’ve reformed and have a kid of my own on the way. And, I say again, you didn’t deny having sex.”
Another deflection was needed since she was calling him out. “What are you doing here?”
“I had a doctor’s appointment. The baby and I are in very good health and all is progressing normally, Adam says.”
Adam Stone was Mercy Medical Clinic’s family practice physician and took care of the pregnant patients. Justin liked and respected him.
“So if you’ve seen Adam, how come you’re still here?” Bugging me, he wanted to add.
“I’m waiting for Ben. He’s taking me out to lunch.”
“So where is he?”
Justin could really use some help here, because he didn’t particularly want to talk about Emma. They’d said everything there was to say in his bed last night, just before she’d gone upstairs to the baby. This morning she’d made an effort at normal and so had he, but tension was on the menu right along with his omelet.
“My gorgeous fiancé is with a patient. What are you doing right now?”
He slid his hands into the pockets of his white lab coat. “I’m on my way to the break room for lunch.”
“Good. I’ll keep you company.” She put her arm through his and tugged him down the hall, past patient rooms to the last door on the left.
Inside, there was a refrigerator, stainless-steel s
ink and cupboards. A card table and four folding chairs dominated the center of the room. At one time this area was used for storage as well as a place for employees to take a break. But since the clinic expansion, there was a much larger room designated for storing supplies and equipment.
Camille looked around, an odd expression in her pretty blue eyes.
“What?”
“It just now hit me. This sure is different from your Beverly Hills office.”
“I know.”
“Do you miss it? Do you ever regret moving here?” she asked.
“No,” he said instantly.
“Take your time. Think about it.”
“I don’t have to. The longer I live here in Blackwater Lake, the more convinced I am that moving from Beverly Hills was the right decision. Blackwater is a close-knit community made up of down-to-earth people. It’s the ideal place for Kyle to grow up.”
“So, you have doubts,” she teased.
“Right.” He grinned, then opened the refrigerator and took out the brown bag Emma had packed his lunch in.
A vision of her in his bed, silky brown hair spread over his pillow, was like a sucker punch to the gut. It had been one of the best nights of his life. And the worst. Any doubts he had weren’t about what they’d done but were directed at himself. He’d let down his guard and couldn’t take back having sex with her. His punishment was that he continued to want her even though he couldn’t have her.
He sat in one of the chairs and pulled out the chicken sandwich but suddenly wasn’t hungry, at least not for food.
Camille tapped her lip, studying him. “You’ve got that look again.”
“What look would that be?” he asked with as much innocence as he could, what with the guilt he was carrying.
“You had sex. With Emma.”
He was just lifting half the sandwich to his mouth and froze. A couple seconds later and he’d have taken a bite, probably choked on it.
“Seriously, Cam. You think I’m that low?” He was, but she didn’t know it for a fact.
“I think you’re that attracted to your nanny. And who could blame you?” She took a bottle of water from the fridge and sat at a right angle to him. “She’s beautiful, Justin. Inside and out. Kyle adores her.”
“She’s good with him,” he agreed.
“And you.” She tucked a strand of blond hair behind her ear then folded her hands around the plastic bottle. “You look different. More relaxed, or something.”
“Or something.”
He sure didn’t feel in control. If anything, he was even more tense. Having Emma was even better than he’d imagined and his imagination was pretty good.
“Oh, for Pete’s sake.” Cam’s voice was full of friendly frustration. “Are you afraid I’ll spread stories around town?”
“It never crossed my mind,” he said truthfully. “But why do you want to know?”
“Female curiosity. And a sincere hope for you to be happy.”
“That’s sweet.” If he’d had a sister, he would want her to be just like Camille Halliday. Funny, abrasive, straightforward and sympathetic.
“All right, then. Just admit it. This is me. I’ve been victimized by gossip and rumors for as long as I can remember. Do you really think I’d spread around something so personal, something you shared with me privately? As a friend?”
“No.” The truth was, he could use someone to talk to. “That’s one lucky kid you’ve got there. You’re going to be a great mom.”
She smiled with pleasure. “How do you know?”
“Because that child won’t be able to get away with anything. You’re very discerning.” He took a big bite of chicken salad on wheat. It was every bit as good as Emma always made it. The thought of her made his body grow tight with need and a hunger that had nothing to do with food.
“It was actually just a guess, but now you’ve pretty much confirmed that you had sex with Emma.”
“Just out of curiosity, how did you know it was her?”
“She’s living under your roof. You haven’t been seeing anyone else or I’d have heard about it. And I saw the way you looked at her when Ben and I were there for Kyle’s birthday.” She shrugged. “Easy.”
“Hmm.” He took another bite of his sandwich.
“So why don’t you look happier?”
“It’s not going to happen again.”
“Yes, it is,” she insisted.
“No.”
“Why not?” Her eyes narrowed. “She’s not trying to pull a fast one, is she?”
“No way.” Justin was surprised by how quickly and aggressively he defended Emma. “You’re too cynical.”
“With good reason.” She twisted the top off her water bottle. “But if you two have the hots for each other, I don’t understand how you can back off.”
“We’re in agreement about it.” He couldn’t speak for Emma, but it was the hardest damn thing he’d ever done. “There’s baggage. On both sides.”
He looked at the other half of his sandwich, cut like a triangle. Such a little gesture that kept it from being ordinary. Probably didn’t take any more time, but was just one more thing that Em did for him. Unlike Kristina. The woman he’d been stupid enough to marry had only ever thought of herself.
“You met my wife,” he said to Cam. “You know the marriage was an unqualified disaster.”
She nodded. “I was always surprised that you married someone so shallow and self-centered. You’re such a good man and she didn’t deserve you.”
“I fell hard and fast for who I thought she was.” He shrugged. “I didn’t know she was putting on an act.”
“She’d made up her mind that she wanted to be married to a renowned Beverly Hills plastic surgeon and pulled out all the stops to get him.”
“If you knew, why didn’t you warn me?”
“A—you wouldn’t have believed me. And B—I didn’t know you very well back then. I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t force me to propose.”
She took a sip of water. “But you got a perfect little boy out of it. And you have to think about him.”
“He’s all I am thinking about. The worst thing I could do is burden Kyle with another mistake. My bad judgment is the best reason not to get serious again.”
“Well, I’m a good judge of character and in my humble opinion Emma is the real deal.”
“But what if you’re wrong? What if she’s not?” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “I won’t take another chance, and it would be really wrong to lead her on when I have no intention of getting serious.”
“But, Justin—”
He held up a hand. “Not going to happen, Cam.”
“Okay. You’re wrong to deny yourself happiness, but I think you’ll get over it in time, with someone willing to be patient with you.” She smiled at the pun. “But I’ll get off your back for right now.”
“Thank you.”
“So, that witch of a wife is your baggage. What about Emma? What’s hers?”
Justin couldn’t tell her that. Emma had confided in him and he wouldn’t betray her trust. The question was how to get the message to this sharp, curious woman without letting anything slip. “Cam, it’s not for me to—”
“Dr. Flint?”
He looked at the doorway where the nurse stood. “Hi, Ginny. What’s up?”
“You have an emergency walk-in. Alan Crawford, from the Grizzly Bear Diner. A grease burn. Room one.”
He nodded. “I’ll be right there.”
“Michelle, his wife, is with him and she’s filling out paperwork.”
“Okay.” The nurse disappeared and he looked at Cam. “Gotta go.”
“Of course. I hope it’s not too serious.”
“Me, too.”
“But if there’s anything good about this, it’s that he’s got you for his doctor.” Cam smiled her encouragement. “Bye, Justin.”
Speaking of Emma’s baggage, he was on his way to see them.
Chapter Nine
Justin headed down the hall toward room one where Emma’s father waited. If the man had walked himself into the clinic, chances were good the injury wasn’t too serious. Hopefully, that was the case because the last thing she needed was more conflict.
He stopped at the closed door and took the chart from the plastic holder on the wall. Voices, one male the other female, drifted to him as he flipped through the pages and scanned Mr. Crawford’s medical history. Adam Stone’s notes indicated he had regular physicals and was a generally healthy man who exercised and took care of himself.
He knocked once on the door and heard a deep voice say, “Come in.”
Alan was sitting on the exam table, a wet white towel draped over his left forearm. He was wearing a short-sleeved green-collared shirt with an embroidered grizzly bear on the left front. His worn blue jeans showed dark splotches that could be oil, but it didn’t appear that any clothing had adhered to the wound.
“Hi, Justin.”
“Alan. I’d shake your hand and ask how you are, but rumor has it there was an accident.”
“Hot grease.” Michelle’s chin quivered as she stood beside her husband, worry evident in her eyes.
A feature that she’d passed on to Emma. No wonder Maggie had noticed the resemblance. He was surprised he hadn’t seen it before. Probably because he hadn’t been looking for it. Now he saw the similarity in the curve of her cheek, lip and brow lines, the shape of the forehead. And their eyes were the same warm shade of brown shot with specks of gold. She was still a very attractive woman and in twenty-five or thirty years this is what Emma would look like.
“Justin?” Alan’s voice was a mixture of pain-laced tension with a dash of teasing. “Should I be worried?”
“Sorry, Alan.” Justin pushed all thoughts aside and focused his concentration on the patient. “Let’s take a look and see what we’ve got.”
Finding Family...and Forever? Page 11