by S. M. Bowles
"C'mon, Em! You have to pick something. There's got to be at least one thing on this list that sounds a little fun!" Evan insisted.
"Well," I looked it over and sighed, "which do you like the most?"
"This isn't about me, it's about you."
I shrugged, "Yeah, but I don't know. I really don't know."
"Fine, I'll pick!" Evan was obviously frustrated, "Let's go skydiving," he said quite matter-of-factly.
"What? No! Absolutely not!"
"I'll take that as a yes. Besides it's on the list," he challenged.
"Yeah, I put it down but only as a suggestion. I never meant to actually do it!"
"Why not?"
"Why not? Why not?! I...I..." I started to smile. I thought I had him, thought I knew what he was trying to do. He wasn't about to go skydiving any more than I was. He knew I would say no and was just using it as a means to get me to choose and insist on something else. "Alright. Skydiving it is," I said completely confident that he would renege on the plan.
Much to my surprise and completely to my dismay he pulled his cell phone out and immediately made the reservation.
"There! That's that," he said. "What next?"
I was too discomfited to speak.
He scrolled through the list, "Ah, yes, rock climbing. There's an indoor facility not far from here. Let's see if they're open." He tapped the number into his phone and after a brief conversation ended the call and said, "Let's go!" Evan tugged me to my feet, "I'm not taking no for an answer! You are not going to waste a perfectly good summer sitting around the house feeling sorry for yourself!"
"I don't feel sorry for myself!"
"Oh, then what do you call it?"
"It's...I..."
"Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Get changed. Wear something comfortable - your running clothes should do. I'll let Mum and Dad know and I'll wait for you in the car."
"But..." I stuttered and sighed then trudged upstairs to do what I was told.
Several minutes later we were in the car and on our way. Evan wouldn't look at me or talk to me and though I tried to breach the gap with whatever nonsense came to mind he wouldn't take part in the conversation with anything more than one or two words.
Once we got there we had to fill out a bunch of paperwork and sign a waiver stating that we accepted the assumption of risk and a release and promise not to sue. They asked for our ID's since they required proof of age and that neither of us were minors. I confessed that I didn't have one and before I could explain why Evan stopped me.
"She lost it and hasn't gotten a replacement yet. C'mon buddy, she's my sister, surely you can tell that she's a few years older than I am."
I tried not to be offended while the staff member eyed me up and down for a moment then reluctantly agreed to provide us with the day passes Evan had signed us up for. We were given a series of brief instructions and fitted with harnesses so we could use the auto belays while we climbed. I paid close attention to everything we were told but Evan seemed to be more than bored by the various speeches.
"Finally!" Evan huffed once we were ushered into the climbing area and told to have at it.
There was a multitude of walls one after the other each covered with hand and foot holds and seeming to reach dozens and dozens of feet from floor to ceiling.
"Here," he stood me in front of one of the walls. "The holds are color coded, see, and the routes are marked with tape. We'll stick with the easy ones for now and see how well you do then if you want to try something harder we'll move on."
"You've done this before?" I said more to myself than to him.
"Yeah, a few times. It's a good workout and a lot more fun than chasing after Ares while he's galloping down the greenways! Here, I'll hook you up."
I was very intimidated at first but once I reached the top of the first climb and slid down the rope like some ungainly action hero I knew I was hooked and anxiously begged to do it again. Evan laughed at my sudden zeal and though he graciously gave me far more opportunities to exert myself than he took I knew he had been more than the few times he had confessed.
After a couple of hours he reminded me that it wasn't just fun but exercise, too, and that if I didn't take a break my body would resent me for a good number of days to come. I knew he was right and that I had used muscles that I probably hadn't used in years. We turned in our gear and when we got to the car Evan looked at me funny.
"So," he seemed to just be figuring something out. "No license, huh? I guess you don't know how to drive, then do you?"
Sadly I shook my head, "No. I don't think I ever learned."
"Would you like to?" his face lit up.
"Just like that?"
"Sure. Why not?" he dangled the keys.
I shrugged, "OK. How hard can it be?"
Evan helped me into the driver's seat and showed me how to adjust it along with the steering wheel and mirrors. Once he was satisfied that I had made all the appropriate changes he climbed into the passenger's seat and made a great show of buckling himself in.
"Gee, thanks! As if that wasn't very suggestive."
"Safety first!" he said somewhat mockingly. "Your brake pedal is on the left, gas is on the right."
I put my left foot on the brake and my right on the gas.
"No, no, no..." Evan shook his head. "Right foot for both." It seemed odd at first but Evan assured me I would get used to it. "Good, now hold your foot down on the brake and start the car."
Step by step he guided me through the process and within a few short minutes I had backed out of the parking space, made it to the exit and onto the main road. I was terribly nervous and drove at a snail's pace for as long as Evan could stand it.
"Do you think you could speed it up a bit?"
I laughed out loud but glancing in the mirror noticed the line of cars that seemed to be piling up behind us. "Oh, um, maybe we should finish our lesson some other time."
Evan just shrugged, "They'll get over it." Thankfully, though he casually added, "But I guess we should get home before Mom starts to worry. We can try again when there's not so much traffic."
"Right." I smiled then eased the car to the side of the road and stopped.
I got out and walked around the back of the car while Evan scooted over from the passenger's seat to the driver's. Just as I was about to get in a racy car with darkened windows drove by and it gave me a terrible sense of déjà vu. I stood there in confusion for a long moment until Evan, full of curiosity, rolled the window down and asked me if I was coming.
"Oh, yeah. Sorry," I laughed, "I forgot what I was doing for a moment there!"
He just rolled his eyes and shook his head, "Get in," he groaned.
Now that the first activity was out of the way and it had been such a success it was easy to choose our next and our next. My parents joined us on many of our tamer outings and Evan and I did the more demanding, adventurous ones on our own. Evan continued teaching me how to drive, usually when we happened to be on one of the more lightly travelled roads and by the end of the summer I grew to be pretty comfortable behind the wheel.
Throughout all this I had managed to completely forget about our skydiving reservation and more or less still believed that Evan had no intention of going through with it. I was sure he had used it as a motivational tactic and now that we were well on our way to making it a memorable summer the plan had fallen to the wayside.
Then early one morning he came into my room and after encouraging Ares to wake me reminded me of our appointment.
"Guess what time it is?!" he smiled down at me as Ares nudged his nose under my chin.
"Ugh! Sleep! I need more sleep," I mumbled. "Go away," and I halfheartedly swung my pillow at the two of them.
"Uh, uh! We have a long drive ahead of us. You need to get up, have some breakfast and we need to get going!"
I stretched and yawned, "Where? We don't have any plans today," I flopped back down and clenched my eyes closed.
"Ah, but we d
o!" he wiggled his phone in front of my nose. "See," and on the screen was a reminder from his calendar with our appointment. "Up you go," he grabbed my arm and pulled me to sitting.
"I thought you cancelled that! You don't really think I have any intention of going through with it do you?!"
"Indeed I do! C'mon, c'mon," he got up and started towards the door. "You know you want to. Deep down inside. How many people can say they've jumped out of a plane? It will be fun! I promise!"
Though I was still very much against the idea I was well awake by then and dutifully got ready and met Evan downstairs. He was in the kitchen making us breakfast and after I took Ares out for our morning walk we sat down together and quietly discussed our day. Evan was so buoyant and enthusiastic about our prospects that despite my reservations I couldn't bring myself to disappoint him. Besides he had been patient and indulgent all summer long letting me choose our activities whether they were enticing to him or not.
I went through the motions and tried to sound as upbeat and anticipatory as he was. When we were done eating and tidying up Evan got us on our way. It was about a 2 hour drive to the airfield and facilities where we would meet our instructors and tandem partners. The day was bright and sunny, summery but not unbearably hot or humid.
"You two couldn't have picked a better day to join us!" they welcomed Evan and I.
Very much like with the rock climbing we had to fill out an exceptional amount of paperwork before we were given our jumpsuits and sent to meet our instructors. Evan opted to have both our experiences recorded so we were filmed wherever we went. Since we were both doing tandem dives the class was relatively short considering what we were about to do.
By then I was absolutely horrified and urgently trying to think of a way to back out of the endeavor. Then a group of people who had apparently just gotten back from their first dives came in through the hangar where we and our equipment were being double-checked for safety. They were all beaming and talking animatedly about their experiences and just glowing with excitement and the rush of adrenaline.
Evan nudged me, "See! That's what you'll be like when you're done. You'll be alive! Every single cell in your body will be crying out with relief and the joy of knowing you're alive!"
"I know I'm alive right now!" I countered but he was right. Deep down inside I wanted to do it. Wanted to know and feel what it was like to put my life on the line and survive if that was the right word.
Afterwards we were called out to the tarmac and then boarding the plane. I found myself sitting on the lap of my tandem partner across from Evan smiling nervously at him and the other first-time divers that were seated around us. Since Evan and I were getting our dives recorded we were two of the last people to jump. His videographer went first then after a look over his shoulder and a huge smile of delight Evan and his instructor disappeared out the open doorway.
"I can't do it!" my mind cried out and I tried looking over my shoulder to tell my instructor that I couldn't go through with it but my heart and head were pounding so hard I couldn't think clearly enough to get the words out.
My instructor stood me up and holding onto an overhead support he edged us towards the doorway behind my videographer. She leapt out, we took her place, my instructor began to count then suddenly we were falling, falling so fast I couldn't breathe. He tapped me on my shoulders and like some magic touch it awakened me to all that I had just been taught and the realization of where I was, what I was doing and how I was supposed to handle it.
He arranged my arms and we did some spins and turns as we plummeted to the Earth. It felt like my insides were being churned in a washer but in a happy, thrilling, carefree kind of way. I made sure to savor as much of the free fall as I could.
"Do you want to try a flip?"
I nodded overwhelmed by the suggestion.
The world suddenly tilted into a kaleidoscope of angles and then just as suddenly we were upright again.
It was time to pull the cord by then and he asked me if I wanted to do it to which I eagerly agreed. We lurched upwards almost as quickly as we had been plunging down and then without warning it all just seemed to stop - the wind rushing in my ears, the sensation of falling without end. We were suspended thousands of feet above the ground and I could see for miles and miles in every direction.
The canopy ride down was utterly tame compared to the actual freefall but to me the most enjoyable part of the experience. After the breathtaking fear of plummeting at over a hundred miles per hour the quietude and serenity of the descent with the parachute was utterly dreamlike. The beauty of the world below us was eerily fantastic from this perspective and it left me speechless as the instructor guided us back towards the landing field near the hangar where we had taken off from.
He offered to let me steer for a moment but I declined unwilling to have anything distract me from appreciating the temporary glimpse of the world completely at peace below me.
Evan was anxiously waiting for us when we finally stumbled to the ground at the end of our journey down. He ran up and hugged me as soon as the instructor freed me from my harness.
"Was that the most amazing thing you've ever experienced or what?!" he lifted me off my feet.
"I...I don't have a single word to describe it," I hugged him back.
He put me down and I just stood there breathing deeply and sighing while I shook my head in disbelief as my mind replayed the entire event from each moment to the next. We were led back inside through the hangar and after a short wait were given our first diving certificates along with the commemorative videos celebrating our achievement.
Evan was all keyed up and repeated over and over again how exhilarating it all was and how much he couldn't wait to do it again. I just smiled and nodded, made responses when I could articulate myself clearly enough and savored the idea that Evan had so prophetically stated earlier - every single cell in my body was alive and joyously celebrating the fact that I had defied death. I didn't think that anything could ever frighten me again.
Chapter 19
As summer drew to a close Evan started making arrangements to head back to school. I was heartbroken at the prospect of losing him. He was my only friend. We had spent so much time together and done so many things that I didn't think I could make it through however many months he would be away without him.
I moped around the house during the day and sobbed into Ares coat at night while I reflected on all the good times we had had.
"It's all coming to an end," I whispered into Ares ear.
He seemed to know or sense what was happening, too, and when they were together Ares got snippy and jealous if anyone tried to interrupt their one on one time. Thankfully, that was usually late at night while we were all watching TV together and as long as he could stay quietly curled up at Evan's feet Ares kept his temper in check.
I did scold him once for getting grumpy with me when I woke up particularly early one day and decided to go for a run to work out some of the anxiety I was feeling. Ares apparently thought we should wait for Evan in case he wanted to join us but I was adamant that we go. He grudgingly let me clip his leash on and off we set.
It was still relatively dark out, cloudy and with the sun just beginning to brighten the horizon. We started off at an easy pace but as we went my thoughts kept shifting and churning in a negative, selfish cycle and I absently picked up the tempo several times. It took very little effort for Ares to keep up so I hardly noticed how hard I was working or how far we had run.
The greenway we were on was 10 miles from end to end and most days I ran to about the 3 or 4 mile mark turned and headed back. In the moody state I was in I must not have noticed it and ran right by. We came to a wooden bridge that crossed a small creek and just as I was about to step on the first plank I suddenly realized that I didn't know where I was.
I pulled up short but Ares kept running. I heard a loud, angry rumble come from his chest and before I could get the double handed grip I would have needed to
hold him back he was gone.
"Shit!" I stumbled forward as the leash slipped through my fingers.
I stood up and called in every direction then listened for a few moments to see if he would come back. Nothing but silence answered me so I started across the bridge and wandered a little ways down the path.
"Ares!"
I kept calling out his name over and over while intermittently waiting to hear a response but it was no use. Eventually I came to the end of the trail and not knowing what else to do decided to retrace my route with the hope of finding Ares on my way back. I thought about calling home to see if he had somehow found his way back without me but in my haste to get out I had forgotten my cell phone.
The sun had fully come up by then but it was still dusky-dark out. The sky was filled with rain clouds and I knew I had to hurry. I started to jog again as I neared the bridge then for some reason I began to get panicky, like I had to get away from something. I glanced over my shoulder and though there was nothing there started to run a little faster and a little faster.
Halfway across the bridge something, someone loomed up in front of me. It happened incredibly fast, too fast for me to react and the next thing I knew I had an arm around my throat and a hand across my mouth and someone was dragging me away.
Then something even more incredible happened. I defended myself. I bit their hand and elbowed my attacker in the gut then whirled to face them and went on the offensive. I was absolutely furious, my thoughts and actions so automatic they seemed a blur. Apparently I knew how to fight but just as I realized it Ares launched himself out of nowhere and joined the fray.
"Run, Emily! Run!" a strange voice echoed in my head and before I could make any more sense of what was happening a third figure appeared, seized my attacker and vanished into the trees lining the greenway.
I gulped, gathered up Ares' leash and started running towards home. I didn't pull up until we neared the cul-de-sac where I stopped to catch my breath hoping to compose myself before anyone could see me. As I bent over and huffed for a minute or two my mind finally seemed to awaken to everything that had just happened.