by Candy Caine
“Yeah. Like a man,” she said. “But you don’t want one or any tangling relationships. Did it ever occur to you that you could be your own worst enemy? Going from one one-night stand to another doesn’t actually leave you with a sense of fulfillment.”
Claudia felt her eyes roll. She thought they’d just settled this. This wasn’t going to be easy. “It’s not having a man permanently in residence on the other side of your bed that gives a woman a sense of purpose. It’s having a baby, which is also what makes a woman unique between the sexes.”
“So, Claudia, what are you telling me here? You want a baby, but not a husband?”
“Yes. That’s it exactly. I want to be a mother before my biological clock winds down.”
“You want to be a single parent?”
Claudia nodded.
“Girlfriend, you know I love you. But, this idea of yours is positively crazy.”
“No, it’s not. I’m 35, have a good job, and a beautiful apartment. I can afford to have a child.”
“It’s not just a financial thing, you know.”
“I’m totally aware of all that. I woke up and discovered I needed someone to share my life with.”
“Get a cat.”
“I’m allergic and hate them.”
“Get a bird.”
“They make noise and crap all over the place.”
“Get fish.”
“They’re psychotic.”
“Huh? That’s a new one. I know I’m going to regret this, but I’m going to ask just the same. Why are fish psychotic?”
“Because, sweetie, they swim in circles over and over again and make stupid faces at you.”
Lauryn was sipping her drink when Claudia said that and was reminded that you can’t swallow and laugh at the same time. Thankfully her coughing fit was brief.
“Are you okay?” Claudia asked, slapping her on her back.
She nodded. “Drinks should come with a warning: Do not laugh and drink simultaneously.” Then, without warning, she pulled her friend right back into the previous conversation. “The simplest solution is to get married.”
“Heaven forbid! What’s good for you isn’t what’s good for me.”
“Just because Jerome was a turd and your father was a total bastard who beat your mother senseless on his good days, it doesn’t mean that all men are like them.”
“I realize that your new husband’s a doll, but he’s not up for grabs. Regardless of which, marriage is out.”
“But, you want to have a kid.”
“Uh-huh. Since when do you need to marry a man to do that?”
“Bringing up a kid as a single parent isn’t easy.”
“I know.”
“You should. Have you forgotten how tough it was for me?”
“I’m not arguing that point with you. I know being a single parent won’t be a walk in the park.”
“Also keep in mind that once you have a child your whole lifestyle will change.”
“I can live with that.”
“Can you? Just to have a night out with me you’ll have to hire a sitter. And good sitters are often hard to find.”
“I don’t live in my own fantasy world. I’m well aware that there’ll be a lot of changes in my life.” Claudia sipped at her drink.
“So why the sudden urge to turn your life inside out?”
“I told you. My biological clock is ticking and I want a child to love and nurture.”
“A pet’s still easier to keep. And don’t forget there aren’t any kennels for children when you decide to take a vacation.”
“Funny girl. Don’t you think I’ve already thought about all this?”
“I just can’t fathom why you don’t want to make your life easier by finding a man, settling down and sharing the responsibilities.”
“No. I don’t want to share my child with anyone.”
Lauryn rolled her eyes.
“Look, I’ve already made up my mind. Will you support me or not?”
Lauryn sighed deeply. “Well, if you want to go and turn your entire life inside out, I guess it’s okay by me. By the way, have you given any thought as to how you intend to become pregnant?”
“Yes. It’s been the foremost thing in my mind all week.”
“Artificial insemination, right?”
“No. It’s too impersonal and doesn’t always work. Besides, you don’t actually have a handle on whose sperm is fertilizing your eggs. I prefer the old-fashioned method.”
“That doesn’t always work, either. I’m a prime example.”
“It wasn’t you that was infertile, remember?”
“But, what if you choose a guy who turns out to be a dud like Luther? I mean, you have no way of knowing.”
“I’ll move on to the next candidate.”
“It’s not a game show, you know?”
Claudia let that one slide. “Going to bed with a man is also less costly than artificial insemination.”
“So you intend to sleep with a guy with the notion of getting pregnant.”
“That’s right.”
“What will you say to him when he discovers you’re pregnant?”
“I don’t intend to tell him.”
“How are you going to pull that off?”
“By picking a guy I don’t expect to ever see again. I’ve gotten real good at that.”
“A one-night stand? Don’t tell me you’re that crazy to play roulette with your baby’s future by picking a total stranger? You might not be as lucky as I was.”
“Don’t worry. It’ll be someone I know a lot about. I just don’t want to have a relationship.”
“And I suppose you’ve already picked out the guy?”
“I have a few candidates in mind.”
Claudia knew Lauryn thought she was absolutely crazy. But, down deep she felt she could handle whatever problems she encountered along the way. After all, hadn’t she practically fended for herself since she was ten? And didn’t she put herself through school and become an English professor without anybody’s help? Lauryn couldn’t see things through her eyes having been raised in a tightly knit, loving family. Claudia also didn’t begrudge the fact that until Luther pulled the rug out from under her, Lauryn’d had a pretty easy ride through life.
Chapter Five
Claudia hadn’t actually been truthful when she told Lauryn that she had a few guys in mind. What she did have was a list of the traits she wanted the candidate to have, which she’d split into two categories: physical and mental. The physical ones had been the easiest to compile. She wanted a tall, handsome hunk to father her child. Who wouldn’t? Combining those genes with hers, she should produce a tall, good-looking kid. On the mental side of the page, she wrote down being intelligent, sane and having a kind, generous heart. Having no emotional baggage was a plus and relocating to another state or country would be super.
She’d realized she’d burned too many bridges with her no-second-date attitude so looking at former lovers wouldn’t be too fruitful. She also had to be realistic in her search. No man was going to possess all the character traits she wanted her sperm donor to have. Therefore, she was going to have to decide which of the characteristics were most important to her.
She’d learned long ago not to judge a book by its cover. A pleasant face could hide a nasty personality. Her father, a deacon of her church back home, was a prime example. Who would have thought such a handsome man was a mean drunk who used his wife as a punching bag, and abused his daughter? Therefore, looks weren’t really that important. If the man wasn’t a Frankenstein monster, and possessed good character traits, she would consider him.
Thus, with her list in hand, she set out to find the best sperm donor she could. Prizing intelligence, she began to scrutinize the administration and faculty of her university, going through each member’s bio carefully. When she’d made a tentative list of the possible candidates, not excluding married men because they’d be less likely to want to know about any pregnan
cies, she began to scope them out. Certainly, she felt like a stalker, but this was a necessary step in elimination.
After an arduous month, her pursuit of a sperm donor was over. She’d chosen Robert Sterling, a professor who taught earth science and geology, to be the biological father of her child. He looked quite attractive in his handbook picture. Now, all she had to do was actually meet him and check him out. If he seemed okay, then she’d hatch some scenario that would get him into her bed.
The first chance she got was while having lunch with a colleague, Jane Rodgers. Robert Sterling had just emerged from the serving area of the cafeteria with another man and was looking for a place to sit. The place was unusually crowded that day and there were no available tables. As luck would have it, Claudia and Jane were sitting at a table for four.
Claudia waved the two men over.
“You know those nerdy looking men?” Jane asked.
“Not really. Just taking pity on two hungry men.”
Jane chuckled. “Nerds are definitely from Mars. Not like you can mistake them for something else with their thick glasses and plastic pocket penholders.”
“Are you ladies sure you don’t mind having us join you?” the dark-haired, heavy-set guy wearing large, black-framed glasses accompanying Robert Sterling asked.
They shook their heads in unison, while Claudia added, “It beats standing. Besides, how will you cut your meat?”
The man began to chuckle and nearly spilled the contents of his tray. “I’m John Phillips and this is my friend, Robert Sterling. We’re from the Department of Geology.”
Claudia’s eyes rested on Robert who gave a smile in greeting, revealing two dimples to match the deep cleft in his chin. He wore wire-framed glasses that magnified blue-green eyes. On him, the glasses gave him a sexy look. Along with those fantastic looking eyes, he had a wide, kissable looking lips. Then her eyes took in his light strawberry-blond hair. It had looked darker in the photo. She paused a moment. Did she really want to have a child with a man with these physical characteristics? Wouldn’t she be better off with a man more like Darnell?
That was when her gaze fell to his hands. He had large hands with long, tapered fingers and clean, neatly clipped fingernails. To her, that spoke volumes. The man obviously wasn’t a slob and took care of his personal hygiene. That was something she liked in a man. Suddenly, she caught herself fanaticizing about those hands and began to visualize him under his clothes. He wore a sweater vest over a long-sleeved shirt and from what she could tell, his body seemed trim and fit.
The gears in Claudia’s mind started to spin weighing all the pros and cons. Despite the glasses, which meant his eyesight wasn’t the best, he was quite good looking. However, did she want to have a child with a Caucasian, putting all that pressure of being a mixed race on her kid? For a moment she hesitated, but there was something drawing her to this man and he seemed available.
As the men settled in, Claudia and Jane introduced themselves. The conversation was friendly and light in tone. Of course, everyone used that time to get to know one another and gave brief impromptu biographical sketches. She’d already memorized Robert’s and appreciated the fact that he neither exaggerated nor misrepresented himself in any way. She put a confirming check next to honesty on her mental list. The more she studied his face, the more she liked it. He had a nice easy smile. She felt its warmth from where she sat.
She wanted a healthy specimen. Of course, not knowing his family medical history, she was still taking a chance. Then reality hit her as she realized what she’d been doing. She’d caught herself trying to convince herself she’d already selected the right man to sleep with.
Everyone’s hands were on the table as they ate. It was impossible to miss the fact that John wore a wedding band, while Robert didn’t. That didn’t actually mean that he wasn’t married. After all, Claudia knew a number of married men who chose not to wear one. However, somewhere along the line, she remembered discovering he was single. When she’d first decided he was a viable candidate, she discretely tried to find out as much as she could about him.
Basically, she’d learned that he was intelligent, possessing several degrees, and well-liked amongst his students and faculty. At 40, he was single and seemed to have a worse social life than a hermit. However, the most enticing thing was that he had applied for a teaching grant in Arizona. That fact, alone, elevated him to the top of her list, making him look like the perfect specimen. Now after speaking to him and getting good vibes, all she had to do was seduce him. How she wished it were as easy as that.
Now definitely feeling like a stalker, when their schedules coincided, Claudia followed Robert Sterling to learn his habits and haunts. She wanted to find a place where their paths could casually collide off campus like a restaurant or bar. Luckily for her, he always seemed to be preoccupied and paid little attention to what was going on around him, jotting down quick notes in a little memo pad he carried. Sometimes, when the weather was really nice, he’d go outside for a walk around campus listening to something on an iPod. After classes, he usually drove straight home or stopped at the supermarket for groceries. As the days passed, Claudia became concerned that there might not be a way of casually bumping into him.
Then one Friday night, she realized she had panicked for nothing. Robert was human, after all, needing simple interaction like everyone else. She followed him to a bar called MacDougall’s. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, she watched him park his car and go inside; knowing very well that if he did this every week, her search for a meeting place was over.
As luck would have it, Claudia followed Robert the following Friday to the same bar. She now knew the time and place. Now the question was how. That’s where Lauryn came in. She realized she’d need her help to pull this caper off. She was the only person she could depend on and trust. So she gave her a call and asked her to come over.
“Order a pepperoni and mushroom pizza and I’ll be over in ten,” Lauryn said.
“No problem, girlfriend,” Claudia replied.
Thirty minutes later, Lauryn took a bite of pizza. “Okay, run this by me again. You’ve been literally stalking this guy and you’re absolutely certain he’s clueless about it?”
Claudia swallowed and took a sip of her soda. “He’s the epitome of the absented minded professor.”
“And you want to get this particular guy in the sack? What happens if he gets distracted and forgets what he’s doing?”
“Lauryn, please!”
“Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”
“I’d like to have sex with him, because I think he’s an excellent biological specimen.”
“Okay. I got that part. Now run by me how do you intend to accomplish the feat?”
“I’m not exactly sure, but I know I’ll need your help.”
“You want me to kidnap him? Then you can turn him into your sex slave and have your way with him.”
“Can’t you be serious for more than three seconds?”
“Sorry. What do you want me to do?”
“Every Friday night Robert Sterling and John Phillips go to MacDougall’s for drinks.”
“Is that the seedy-looking dump of a place on Fifth?”
“Yes, but I’m hoping it will be more habitable inside.”
“You better hope so, if you intend to go in there without standing out like a beacon.”
“I’m going to act as if I’m running into Robert by accident.”
“Hmm…”
“What’s the matter?” she asked Lauryn.
“It just occurred to me…”
“What?”
“What if it’s a gay bar?”
“I don’t think it is.”
“But you’re not positive, are you?”
“I’ve never been inside…but his friend, John, wears a wedding band.”
“Maybe he’s AC-DC? While I’m exploring this possibility, how do you know that Robert Sterling isn’t gay?”
“I don’t.”
“Recapping, you don’t know what kind of bar MacDougall’s is. Nor do you have any idea if Robert might be gay. Do you still want to go through with this?”
After a moment’s thought, Claudia replied. “Yes. After all this preparation, I’m going to have to chance it.”
Lauryn raised her eyebrows. “I have an idea. If it does turn out to be a gay bar we can act like two lesbians on a date having drinks.”
Claudia gave Lauryn one of her you’re pushing it looks. “When I said I loved you, I didn’t mean in that way. Now can we please move on?”
Subdued, Lauryn said, “Go ahead. After we reacquaint ourselves with Robert, then what?”
“Okay, here’s what I came up with so far. After a short period of time, you’ll get an emergency phone call from home and you’ll have to leave. I’ll tell you not to worry. I’ll find a ride home.”
“Oh, and then Robert does the gentlemanly thing by offering to take you home, right?”
“Exactly. Then I ask him in for a night cap and let nature take its course.”
“Sounds great on paper. It’s the actuality part that scares me. You do realize that if Robert is gay, all bets are off. Even if he’s not gay, what will you do if he doesn’t offer to take you home or want to come in for a drink? Though your skin is light, what if he’s not into black women? That’s a lot of things that can go wrong.”
“I’ll be very persuasive. If he’s gay, well, then you’re right, the game’s over. I need to do this now before he gets that grant and splits.”
“What’s the rush? Doesn’t he need to finish out the semester?”
“Who knows? He might have made some kind of special arrangement.”
“So I take it you’re aiming for this upcoming Friday night?”
“Yes.”
That was only a couple of days away and Claudia had no idea how she was actually going to pull the seduction scene off. She’d gotten her share of men, but she’d never considered herself a seductress who could make men to fall down at her feet. Oh, she was attractive enough and had a good figure, but this would have to be the performance of her lifetime. Knowing that she’d only get one shot at this guy, she couldn’t blow it. The pressure was overwhelming, but Claudia tried to remain positive.