Ravage and Surrender

by Cali MacKay

  They rode the rest of the way in silence, though Jake kept checking on her via his rearview mirror, their eyes meeting in silence. Unfortunately, the lack of discussion meant she had far too much time to mull things over in her head. Memories of her with Jake—then and now—and memories of her years with Will. They flooded her head, and she found herself picking it all apart, trying to remember things as they actually were instead of glossed over by time or emotions.

  She remembered being incredibly happy with Will for years, and though their sex life hadn’t been anything mind-blowing, he’d at least still been present for the most part. But then her brother’s death had pushed them further apart, until things eventually faded to complete nonexistence, no matter how hard she’d tried to get back what they’d once had.

  Then there was Jake—and he blew amazing right out of the water. Yet who was to say that if they’d been together for any length of time that things wouldn’t also have faded between them? She knew he’d deny it, and maybe he was right, since things had always been so intense between them. Yet, she didn’t know, because Jake had broken things off six months into their relationship. And that, in and of itself, was another problem.

  Jake had yet to commit to anyone long-term, and she wasn’t even sure he was capable of it. Which meant that Jake could still very well break her heart. And not just break it, but smash it to smithereens so she’d have no hope of ever putting it back together.

  When they pulled down Marshall’s driveway, Hannah finally let go of some of the tension that had her body in knots. Not only would they get Will the help he needed, but she’d be able to escape her thoughts for a bit. Jake went around to help Will out of the car, as the front door to the house opened and Marshall came to give Jake a hand getting Will into the house.

  “In here.” Marshall directed them into a guest bedroom and sat Will down on the bed. Medical instruments and a variety of bottles were already laid out on the side table, with more equipment and supplies laid out on the dresser. No doubt Jake’s call had given Marshall time to prepare. “Jake said you were shot. In the abdomen?”

  Will nodded. “My left side. Looks like it went right through. I managed to stop most of the bleeding I think, but…I don’t know.”

  Marshall helped Will out of his jacket and then cut him free of the rugby shirt he was wearing to reveal a wide swath of bandages wrapped around his midsection. Those were next to get cut away, but Hannah couldn’t watch and had to look away. Seeing him injured and knowing the pain he must be in was too much to bear. And then there were the memories of her dead brother: the pool of blood she’d found him in, the multiple gunshot wounds. Her eyes stung with tears as she tried to swallow down the lump in her throat.

  Jake pulled her into his arms. “Come on, love. Let’s give them some privacy.”

  She knew he was trying to spare her from the worst of it—and she was grateful for it. Tucked in at Jake’s side, she held onto him as he took her to the living room, trying to hold back her tears. When it was just the two of them, she collapsed against his chest, fighting back tears as he sat them down on the sofa. “Tell me he’ll be okay, Jake.”

  “My brother’s always been exceptional at everything he does, and trust me when I tell you, he’s not going to let Will ruin his perfect record.” There was something in Jake’s tone that made her wonder about his choice of words, as if there was some friendly sibling rivalry between them. “Will’s in good hands, sweetness. Marshall will do all he can for him. I promise.”

  “What will we do after this, Jake?” She knew her question was vague, but the truth was, she didn’t know exactly what she was asking.

  He shifted her out of his arms just enough to look at her. “We’re going to make sure he’s on his way to recovering, and then we’re going to get him the help he needs from the FBI so he can get out of whatever mess he’s gotten himself into. If Ryan’s killers are involved, then this is beyond any of us to help him. Then, once he’s safe, we’re going to pick up where we left off, little red. Because if you think Will showing up is going to change things between us, I’m here to tell you that I’m not going to let that happen. I’ve waited too damn long to let Will get in the way.”

  When he kissed her, his lips lingered on hers as her body came to life and he reminded her of all the pleasure—and love—he was capable of giving her. “Jake…tell me it’ll all be okay. That we’ll get through this.” Because she’d fallen for him hard and fast, and was still worried it’d somehow all go to hell, especially when having Will around did little to reassure her.

  “Hannah…what is it you’re really worried about? Because if you think I’m going anywhere, you can guess again.” Jake rested his hand on the back of her neck, brushing his thumb over her cheek. “I know this hasn’t been easy on you, but I’m not letting you go, love. Do you hear me?”

  She nodded and kissed him again when Marshall walked into the room, the resemblance between the two brothers strong enough to be immediately noticeable. “Your friend’s running a fever from a slight infection due to the gunshot wound, but he was damn lucky it missed anything vital. I’ve got him on a round of antibiotics, but I highly recommend he gets seen to properly for IV fluids and to make sure there isn’t more going on in there. He’s taking a risk if he doesn’t get to a hospital.”

  Hannah got to her feet. “Can I go see him?”

  “I gave him a light sedative to ease his pain, but you can go sit with him if you’d like.” Marshall then turned to Jake. “If I could have a word…”

  Jake nodded, and then grabbed Hannah’s hand and stole a kiss. “I’ll just be a minute.”

  It was hard to ignore the tension between the two brothers, and Hannah knew Jake was going to get grilled on why they were dragging around someone who’d been shot and couldn’t go to the hospital. Yet, she was grateful to both Marshall and Jake for taking care of Will.

  She walked into the room Will was in, and sat by his side. He stirred a little as she lifted his hand into hers, her heart hammering as she took him in. There were fresh bandages on his wound, but it was seeing him again, especially when bare from the waist up, that was messing with her head. It felt at once familiar and like it’d been an eternity since she last saw him like this. He was still lithe and muscular—and he was still so handsome, with his scruffy dark hair and stubble, and those intelligent grey eyes.

  “Hannah…” His voice was thick with sleep, no doubt due to the sedative and the trauma his body had endured. Had he even rested since this all happened, or had he been on the run? She still had so many questions, and no answers.

  “Hush. I’m right here.” Seeing him so vulnerable was stirring up all sorts of emotions.

  “I’m sorry, baby girl…I never meant to hurt you.” His lids were heavy and his hand was warm—too warm as the fever simmered in his veins. “I still love you, Hannah.”

  “I love you too.” And she did, even if it was a hell of a lot more complicated than that.

  She sensed Jake at the door, and knew that he’d overheard her. And that was fine. Jake knew she still loved Will. How could she not, when they were still friends and they’d been together for eight years? And Jake had to know that she loved him too, even if it felt crazy and complicated. But she did. She loved both of them, despite their past—or maybe because of it.

  Once Will’s eyes slipped closed and she was sure he was asleep, she got up and crossed to Jake’s side, letting him wrap his arms around her as she rested her head on his broad chest. “Does your brother think he’ll be okay?”

  “Yeah…Will should come through this all right, though Marshall would still like to see him go to a hospital.” He brushed the hair from her eyes, his touch making her want to lean into him and steal a kiss. “My brother’s offered to let us crash here, but I’m just a few towns over. We can head to my place, if you prefer, and then come back in the morning to see Will—or if Marshall thinks it’s okay, we can take Will with us.”

  “I don’t want to put
your brother out any more than we already have, but I’m worried about moving Will before it’s wise to do so, especially when there could be complications and he could take a turn for the worse.” She and Jake had all the time in the world ahead of them, but her time with Will suddenly felt so tenuous. “I swear I’ll make it up to you, Jake.”

  “I know you love me, Hannah, and I’m secure in what we have. We’re meant to be together, and I’m not going to let anyone come between us. So if you want to stay here so we can keep an eye on Will, then that’s what we’ll do. Because I know that eventually you’ll be naked in my bed, right where you belong.”

  Chapter Ten

  Trying not to get frustrated as Hannah sat by Will’s side, Jake retreated to his place of solitude and wandered into Marshall’s kitchen, figuring that everyone would eventually get hungry. The least he could do was cook. Not that his thoughts of Hannah and Will had slowed any, even as he prepped for dinner.

  At least his brother kept a well-stocked kitchen. Jake turned to Marshall when he wandered into the kitchen. “Truly—how’s Will doing in there?”

  “He’s still running a fever, but I’m hoping it’ll break by morning. He’s lucky though. Damn lucky.” Marshall leaned against the counter with a sigh, his arms crossed in front of his chest. “Jake…I know it’s none of my fucking business, but do you really think you should be hooking up with Hannah when she’s still married?”

  “This is not like you and Claire, Marshall.” Claire had cheated on him with another doctor he worked with at the hospital, and Marshall had taken it hard—really hard. And to make matters worse, their divorce was not going well. “Hannah’s marriage has been over for quite some time now, and she’s ready to move on.”

  “Is she really? Because I’m not sure she is. I know you don’t want to hear it, but if she’s not ready to move on, then you’re just going to get hurt, and I don’t want to see that happen.” Marshall let out a frustrated sigh, his body stiff. “And no offense, but if they’re married, and they clearly still care about each other, then maybe you should just take a step back and let them work it out.”

  Jake grabbed a knife from the wooden block on the counter and butchered the chicken so it’d cook quicker, trying to unclench his jaw before responding to his brother. “I appreciate your concern, but like I said—Hannah’s moved on. She and Will separated six months ago, and things have been rocky between them for a hell of a lot longer than that. And before you go thinking that I had anything to do with them splitting, you can fucking guess again.”

  The chicken was now in pieces, and he was getting pissed off. He’d stayed away while Hannah was married—even stayed away after they’d separated to give her some space. But now that they were back together, now that he knew how her self-esteem had taken such a hit during her marriage, he was damned if he’d let her go back to Will. “You have nothing to base your comments on, except your own hurt and past experiences, and I’m telling you right now, their circumstances are completely different, Marshall. Do you fucking hear me? I know what I’m doing.”

  “Is everything okay here?”

  Hannah… Jake turned to face her, managing a smile so she wouldn’t worry. “Yeah. Everything’s fine. How’s Will doing?”

  “He seems to be sleeping well.” She stuffed her hands in the pockets of her jeans, her keen gaze shifting from him to his brother. “Anything I can do to help?”

  “I’m about to throw this in the oven.” Jake seasoned the chicken and then shifted to the sink to wash his hands, before turning to his brother with a look that told him their conversation was over. “Don’t suppose you have a bottle of wine?”

  Marshall let out a deep breath, and put a hand on Jake’s shoulder for just a minute, as if to let him know that he didn’t mean to cause him problems, but was simply concerned. “Yeah, I’ll get something out of the wine cellar. Any preferences, Hannah?”

  “Anything is fine. And again, thank you for everything you’ve done.” Marshall nodded with a smile and then headed towards the basement as Hannah turned to Jake. “I’m so sorry. I feel like we’ve put your brother out.”

  “We haven’t.” He couldn’t resist her and he was desperate to erase the worry in her eyes. Closing the distance between them, he grabbed her hand and reeled her in, so he could steal a kiss, her sweet scent filling her head. “Marshall’s just worried about us.”

  “I can’t really blame him when we’ve shown up at his door with someone who’s been shot and can’t go to the hospital.” She played with the buttons on his shirt, avoiding his gaze. “I’m sorry if things have been awkward between us, now that Will’s around. But…you know how I feel about you.”

  “I do, little red. And I get that you still care for Will. But there’s a difference between loving him and being in love with him, and as long as it’s not the latter, I’ll do what I can to keep my jealousy in check.” He’d try at any rate, though it wouldn’t be easy. “But he does want you back, Hannah—and I’m not going to let that happen. Are we clear?”

  She nodded, letting out a deep breath. “I love you, Jake. I don’t want things to be awkward between us while Will’s around. As for him wanting me back…I don’t know what to say to that. He’s saying he pushed me away to keep me safe, but…I just don’t get it.”

  “We’ll get more answers once he’s feeling better. Okay? In the meantime, we’ll do what we can to get him to the FBI so they can deal with whoever did this to him and to your brother.” Jake knew she needed that closure, and making sure Will was no longer in danger was the only way for her to move on from here. Will might want Hannah back, but Jake wasn’t giving her up. Not without a fucking fight.

  No one was going to take her away from him now that he finally had her back. No one.

  ***

  Jake was feeling a hell of a lot more relaxed once they’d had dinner and a few glasses of wine, especially when he had Hannah at his side. With the dishes cleared from dinner, they finished up the maple crème brûlée he’d made for dessert.

  Marshall sat back in his chair. “Jake, I still don’t know how you manage to take such basic ingredients and turn them into something so amazing. Dad…he would have been proud of you, you know.”

  Jake scoffed with a shake of his head, anger brewing deep inside him. “No, he wouldn’t have. But I made my peace with that a long time ago—and quite frankly, I don’t care.”

  “Jake…” Marshall let out a sigh, but dropped it, knowing it would do no good to open old wounds, the old man dead of a stroke for some years now—and good riddance.

  Their father had been a self-righteous ass who bullied his children into trying to better themselves, though nothing they ever did was ever good enough. There was never a kind or loving word, and he had been masterful at making someone feel small and unworthy, like they’d never amount to anything. Just like he’d done that winter break when he’d been dating Hannah.

  Jake had wanted her to come visit for the holidays to meet his family, knowing that things were getting serious between them. But then his father had torn into him over the course of his break, day after day. Which was fine. He’d been used to it. But when his father had one too many to drink and turned his anger to Paige, Jake’s younger sister, it was the final straw. Jake snapped, and nearly put their father in the hospital.

  It made him realize that he had the potential to lose control—had the potential to become like his father. He’d heard how the abused could often turn and become abusers, and it scared the fuck out of him that he might become that sort of monster—and worse, that he might subject Hannah to that sort of abuse, mental or physical.

  The thought of doing that to Hannah fucking killed him, so Jake returned to her and broke things off, hoping that he was doing her a favor, even if it killed him to push her away. He had just hoped that she’d find someone who truly deserved her. Because he sure as hell didn’t feel worthy of her by the time that winter break was over.

  And he fucking hated his father f
or it.

  It wasn’t until later that Jake realized that his father might be a fucking abusive asshole, but that wasn’t the sort of man he was. He realized that he could never be like his father. That he could never put someone through the abuse he’d been forced to endure. But the damage was done…Hannah had moved on.

  Marshall must have seen Jake’s mood brewing, and decided to change the subject. “The business is going well, you know. Did you see the earnings report for the last quarter?”

  Though Marshall was indeed a doctor, he’d always been a bit of a tinkerer and innovative thinker. So when he decided to apply his medical expertise and knowledge to some revolutionary products, Jake decided he’d invest in his brother’s new company, not only to support his brother, but because he knew Marshall was damn smart, and he’d be successful at anything he put his mind to. And it had paid off. Big time.

  Granted, Jake had been shocked to find out that Marshall, of all people, was producing a newfangled take on sex toys, but who was he to judge? Clearly, his brother had hit on a winner, if the money pouring into their bank accounts was anything to go by.

  Jake managed a smile, letting his anger go. “I did see it. Looks like the new product line’s been a hit.”

  “Indeed it has.” Marshall gave him a grin that had Jake shaking his head. “Listen, I’ve got an important meeting first thing in the morning, so I’m going to turn in after I check on Will. I’ll also check on him before I head to the office in the morning, but feel free to stay as long as you want. The guest bedrooms are all set up, but if you need anything else, just let me know.”

  “I can’t thank you enough, Marshall.” Hannah’s voice was still thick with worry, but she managed a smile that lit up her eyes.

  “Hannah, it’s been a pleasure getting to know you. Jake…” With a tilt of his head, Marshall got to his feet.