by Cali MacKay
There was no doubt in Hannah’s mind that Jake was looking to put Will and this mess behind them so they could pursue their relationship without distractions and interruptions, but Hannah still had a whole lot of questions for Will, and wasn’t cutting him loose until she got the answers she was looking for.
But in the meantime, she was starving. She grabbed a plate of food and sat down across from Will, with Jake taking the seat next to her, his plate piled high. It was hard to be there with both Will and Jake, given the circumstances, but there was little to be done for it.
She took a bite of her meal, and was blown away by the savory flavors, her worries and the awkwardness of their situation vanishing for the moment. “Honestly, Jake. This is amazing. Thanks for cooking—again. I’d offer to cook, but nothing I could come up with would even come close.”
“I’m happy to cook for you, little red. Anytime, any day.” Jake gave her hand a squeeze before letting it go so they could continue eating.
There was a confidence in him that she loved and found incredibly sexy, though it was never arrogance. And right now he was confident in what was between them. She loved that he could have that sort of resolve, as if he knew they would get through this mess together, and be stronger for it. Because, right now, confused as she was, it was exactly what she needed. She needed him to be there, to take charge of this mess, because if he didn’t, she’d surely get bogged down in overanalyzing every aspect of her marriage and her relationship with Jake, leaving her even more confused and broken.
Will’s eyes narrowed in Jake’s direction, though he said little. And what could he really say? She and Will had been in the process of getting divorced, though now she had a better understanding as to why he’d been dragging his feet on completing the paperwork—and why he hadn’t wanted her to move out. Though she still had questions and was tempted to press him for the answers she was looking for, she figured she’d find out everything there was to know when Will spoke to Michael.
Yet Will had different plans, and they didn’t include letting Jake sidle up behind her and kiss her neck as she put the dishes into the dishwasher. “I know we’re separated, but until that divorce is final, you’re still my wife, Hannah. And don’t think I wasn’t fully aware that Jake always wanted you—that he’s always been there waiting in the wings, waiting for his opportunity to tempt you back into his fucking bed.”
Jake spun on Will, ready to pummel him, when she grabbed his arm to stop him. Jake might be ready to leap to her defense and defend her honor, but this was between her and Will. “Don’t, Jake. If you could please go warm up the car so we can get going?”
“Hannah.” Jake was stiff and bristling, but she needed to do this on her own.
“Please.” Hannah’s hold on Jake’s arm softened, his eyes locking on hers as she silently pleaded for a little time to sort things out. With a frustrated shake of his head, Jake glared at Will and then stalked out of the room and towards the door, grabbing his jacket on the way out. Now alone with Will, Hannah turned her attention to him as he shifted to her side. “I get that you want to give this another try, but I don’t know that I can, Will. I love you—I always will—but things died between us far before our decision to separate and divorce.”
“Then maybe you just need to be reminded of what we once had together.” Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her, his mouth hard on hers in a bruising kiss that flooded her head with memories of all their times together—of the times when things were good between them, of a time when she still felt loved.
Yet she couldn’t do this. She started to push him away when he slowed his kiss to something sweet and meaningful, making her heart ache for what they once had, for the love they’d once shared, the hopes they’d once nurtured.
By the time he stopped kissing her, there were tears running down her cheeks. What the hell was she doing? She stepped away from him, swiping at her tears, her heart aching once more. “You had no right to do that, Will.”
“Hannah…” He reached out for her, but she pulled away from him, unable to deal with the onslaught of emotions he’d triggered.
“Don’t. You broke my heart, Will. I did everything in my power to make our marriage work, to bring you back to me, to make you want me. And you made me feel like I just wasn’t good enough. I can’t do this again. Please…just leave me alone.” But he didn’t. He pulled her into his arms, ignoring her struggles until she gave up and, finally overwhelmed by it all, wept in his arms as he held her tightly to him, enveloping her in the familiar safety of his embrace.
He kissed the top of her head. “I still love you, Hannah. I always will. And now I know that I need to fight for what I love.”
Chapter Twelve
Jake walked into the room to find Will holding Hannah to him, his cheek resting atop her head as she nestled into his arms. Will had made it no secret that he wanted Hannah back, and given their history, Jake knew it would be hard for her to walk away from a relationship that had lasted nearly a decade.
Fuck—he hated being a jealous ass when he knew Hannah was dealing with so much, but there was no way he was going to let Will just swoop in and steal her away from him. “Michael’s waiting for you, so if we could, I’d like to get this over with.”
“Jake…” Hannah pulled out of Will’s arms, swiping at the tears running down her cheeks, though Will looked hesitant to let her go, his hand lingering on her shoulder. Add to it the fact that she was so upset, and Jake was fucking pissed off, though he did everything he could do to rein his anger in, refusing to lose control like he had with his father.
When Jake put his arm out for Hannah, she stepped into his embrace. “What the fuck did you say to her?”
“I don’t see how that’s any of your fucking business. What I discuss with my wife is between the two of us, and has nothing to do with you.” With Hannah in Jake’s arms, Will glared at him, his gaze shifting to Hannah.
“It is my business when I’m the one she’s with. And that was her choice. A choice she made because it’s where she wants to be, not because I’ve guilted her into being there. And if you think I’m going to let you upset her, then you can fucking guess again.” At this point, Jake was ready to let Will find his own way to the FBI—if only Hannah would let him. And the last thing he wanted was to upset her further. But he swore, he was ready to put his fist through Will’s face.
“Jake, please…let’s just go. I’m fine.” She looked up, pleading with him, and yet seeing her so upset just infuriated him. With a glance over her shoulder, she addressed Will, who was still standing there. “If you could wait in the car, I’d appreciate it.”
Once they were alone, Jake cupped her face and wiped her cheeks dry. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
She nodded, her eyes dark with emotion. “Yeah…I’m fine.”
Yet she wasn’t. She was anything but fine, and Jake had his suspicions, based on the way Will had been holding her. “It’s just that he wants you back, right? And he fucking kissed you, didn’t he?”
She nodded, sending another wave of tears streaming down her face. “He knows I’m with you now, and that I can’t go back to him, but…he still wants to give it another try.”
Anger and dread tightened around his chest like a weed trying to strangle him. “And what do you want, Hannah?”
It was as simple as that. It all boiled down to what she wanted, because in the end what Will wanted didn’t matter if she had no desire to give things another try.
“I want to be with you, Jake. And he knows that.” Her gaze shifted away from his, though, making him think it wasn’t as simple as that.
“I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming.” And it fucking killed him.
“But…we’ve been together for eight years and he’s asking for a chance to mend things between us. I just don’t know. I feel like I owe my marriage a chance, but I like what’s between us.” She slipped her arms around his waist and held onto him. “I meant it when I said that I love
d you, Jake.”
Kissing the top of her head, he tightened his hold on her as if he might lose her forever if he let her go. “He had plenty of time to make your marriage work, Hannah. You don’t owe him anything.”
She pulled away just enough to look at him. “Except that I feel like I do, especially if our problems were in large part because he was investigating my brother’s murder—and maybe because I hadn’t ever fully gotten over you.”
The worry in her eyes made him want to sweep her away from this mess and keep her safe, happy. He sure as hell wasn’t buying Will’s excuses. No fucking way. And he’d be damned if he was going to let Will manipulate her into going back to their marriage. “Everyone carries past loves and relationships with them, and you always gave your marriage your all, Hannah. Don’t go doubting yourself after the fact. As for Will, how exactly did pushing you away and withholding affection further his investigation? How did making you feel unworthy and unwanted help find your brother’s killer?”
Jake was fucking furious, and it was a good thing Will was already injured since it was all Jake could do not to pummel him. Will was guilting Hannah into giving him another chance, knowing that she was too kind, too sweet a person to turn him away if he laid out a solid enough argument and played on her emotions.
“I just don’t know anymore, Jake. I’m confused.” She shook her head, turning her gaze away from him. “Maybe I just need time to sort it all out.”
“I’d never try to rush you into something you’re not ready for, and you know I’d give you whatever time you need—but not so Will can try to steal you back.” No fucking way.
She slipped her hands around his waist and settled against his chest. “Can we just try to get through the next day or two? I can’t make this sort of decision when everything feels so chaotic.”
Holding her close, he nodded with a ragged sigh, knowing she was dealing with a lot at the moment. “I’m here for you, little red. I always will be.”
Nuzzling him, she pressed a sweet lingering kiss to his hips as her curves pressed against his body. “Thank you, Jake.”
His heart felt restless, despite having her in his arms. It was as if she was slipping away from him and he was helpless to stop it. “Maybe I should drop you off at my place. There’s no reason for you to have to go through all this. I’ll make sure Will gets to speak to Michael, and then we’ll swing back to the house. From there, we can sit down and figure out what to do next.”
Hannah shook her head no. “I want to go with you and Will. I’ll be beside myself with worry if I’m left to just wait on my own. And this way…I’ll have you by my side.”
“Always, love.” Jake let out a weary sigh, his head bent to hers. “I’ll always be there for you.”
Reluctantly, he let her pull out of his arms, knowing they had to get going, though he was more determined than ever to make sure he didn’t lose her. Because letting Will steal her away, and not having her in his life, in his bed, in his arms? That just wasn’t a fucking option.
The ride to the FBI field office didn’t take more than half an hour, and a good thing too, since everyone in the car was wound so tight, it felt like the slightest thing might send their precarious arrangement shattering into chaos.
Once they signed in, Michael was quick to meet with them. Jake shook his hand, and though it wasn’t the first time he’d met him, he couldn’t help but note that the resemblance between Michael and his sons was uncanny, as was the fierce intelligence and determination in his eyes.
“Thanks for meeting with us on such short notice. This is Hannah, and her ex-husband Will.” Jake didn’t care if it wasn’t entirely accurate. As far as he was concerned, things were over between Hannah and Will, and he’d treat it as such.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I just hope this is something we can help you with.” Michael started moving down the hall, while the office bustled with agents. “How are you all holding up?”
“We’ll be doing a hell of a lot better once we can put this all behind us.” Jake couldn’t wait. All he wanted was to ensure Will wasn’t going to get himself killed, and then drop him off at a hospital before he keeled over dead. Most of all, he wanted Hannah to himself, so he could erase the doubts Will had already planted.
When another agent joined them, Michael made the introductions. “This is Agent Greene. He’s going to be joining us today.”
Once they all sat down at the table, Will unzipped an inner pocket in his jacket and handed Michael a USB drive. “That has the information I recovered from Ryan Cleary’s laptop—Hannah’s brother. He was a journalist, but was murdered four years ago.”
“They came after you also, am I correct? And you somehow managed to get away?” Michael’s tone was all business, and Jake had no doubt they’d put Will through a thorough questioning.
“Yeah...I don’t think they expected me to come home. I walked in on them tossing my house and got shot in the process, though I managed to get away. I’m assuming they were after the info on that USB.” Will ran a hand down his face and shook his head with a sigh. “Ryan had come across some information that could incriminate several local officials and cops who were covering up what appears to be a prostitution ring that may involve minors.”
Michael gave the USB to Greene, who left the room with it, and then continued with an onslaught of questions for Will, who answered them to the best of his ability. “We’ll have to see whether or not the information will be enough to issue warrants. In the meantime, we can issue you a detail to keep you safe, and get you the medical care you need. Hannah, I don’t think that anyone will be coming after you, but if you can keep a low profile, that might be best.”
“She can stay with me.” There was no way Jake was letting her out of his sight. “Will you be taking Will to the hospital?”
Michael nodded and got to his feet, everyone following suit. “We will, so that we can ensure his safety.”
That was all Jake needed to hear. “Will, if you could keep us updated, that would be great.”
Jake could see that Will wasn’t happy about not having Hannah with him, but there was also a good chance he was still in a lot of pain and wasn’t feeling well. “Hannah, I’ll call you, okay?”
She nodded and gave Will a long hug, and a quick kiss, lingering in his arms as worry darkened her eyes. “Please be safe.”
***
“I always forget how gorgeous your place is.” Hannah glanced around Jake’s gorgeous log home as he set down their bags and then sidled up behind her, slipping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck. He knew she was still worried, but Jake had every intention of fully distracting her, every way he knew how. “Are you sure it won’t be a problem if I stay here with you for a while?”
“Little red, I’d love to have you move in with me—for good—and maybe some day soon I’ll actually get you to agree to it.” He spun her around in his arms, needing her to know he meant every word. “But in the meantime, I’ll take what I can get, especially when it means you’ll be naked in my bed, so I can give you so many orgasms, you won’t remember what it was like not to be worshipped.”
She shook her head, her brow furrowed in confusion. “Why me, Jake? I just don’t get it. You could have anyone.”
“Sweetheart, it fucking kills me that you don’t see just how amazing you are—and for that I blame Will.” It was downright infuriating.
She let out a sigh, her eyes dropping to the floor, unable to hold his gaze. “It wasn’t his fault, Jake.”
He tilted her head back, forcing her to look at him, and then brushed the hair from her eyes, his touch lingering. “And you’re too generous and forgiving, Hannah. He doesn’t fucking deserve you—because he doesn’t appreciate you. He may want you back now that he’s lost you, but if you go back to him to try to work things out, I guarantee you that before long, he’ll be neglecting you again.”
“You don’t know that.” Her brow furrowed, frustration darkening her aqua blue eye
s and making Jake want to kiss her until there was nothing but lust and contentment there.
“Sweetheart—we both know it. And if you say otherwise, then you’re just denying the fucking truth. Because you do know it, Hannah. In your heart, you know that’s exactly what will happen.” He nuzzled her, brushing his lips against hers in a tease, her body leaning into his to deepen their kiss, her tongue dancing over his for just a moment more before she finally pulled away.
She looked up at him, and bit her bottom lip. “I know you’re probably right, but I just feel so guilty about not giving our marriage another chance. And…no offense, but you haven’t exactly proved to be a long-term relationship kind of guy. I think our six months together were the longest you’ve ever dated anyone.”
Anger and frustration flared in his chest, making him wonder if Will had said something to her. “What the fuck does that have to do with anything, Hannah? The reason I didn’t date anyone else long-term is because they weren’t you.”
“Except that even when you were with me, you still didn’t stick around. You still chose to leave, even though we were happy and you knew it’d break my heart. And worst of all, you couldn’t even give me anything but some lame excuse. At least Will stuck around, even if we had our problems.” She shook her head and turned to go, when he grabbed her, both his hands clasped on her arms in hurt and frustration.
“What the fuck do you want me to say, Hannah? Do you really need to hear about how I went home for break and had to spend six weeks listening to my father tell me that I wasn’t good enough, that I’d never amount to anything, that I was a disappointment? Day in and day out—and not just for those six weeks, but for a fucking lifetime.” He let go of her so he could pace rather than shake her until he made her see sense. “And do you need to hear about when he got a little too drunk and laid into my sister, I snapped and nearly put him in the hospital?”
“Jake…I had no clue…” She crossed to his side and grabbed his hand as tears shimmered in her aqua blue eyes. “Why didn’t you say anything?”