by Cali MacKay
“How could I come back to you when I was fucking scared that I’d become a monster just like him? I couldn’t take the risk—not when it was your safety, your happiness on the line, even if you were the only one who could make me forget that for my entire life, he’d made me feel like shit, like I was small and insignificant, that I was unworthy.” He let out a ragged breath, trying to let go of the tension that had his entire body in knots. “You’ve always been my everything, Hannah…and I just couldn’t risk fucking up your life. But…I’m not my father. I know that now. And I know that more than anything, I need you in my life. But you know what? If you don’t think I can stick around for the long haul, then fuck it, Hannah. Go be with Will if you think he can make you happy.”
Chapter Thirteen
What the hell had she done? Hannah hadn’t realized Jake’s father had been so hard on him—and she’d kept pushing the issue, ripping old wounds open and forcing him to expose a lifetime of mental abuse. And it was abuse, devastating and cruel.
She swiped at her tears with a shaking hand, her breathing ragged. “Jake, I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say, but…you should have told me.”
“There was no point to it, Hannah. At the time I felt like you were better off without me, and soon after that, you were with Will. Telling you wouldn’t have changed anything. Except now…now you know—and I need you to tell me if you’re going back to your marriage.” His gaze was so focused on her, she had to turn away, knowing he was frustrated and needed an answer, and yet not sure she could give him one.
“It’s not that I necessarily want to go back to Will. You know that, Jake. It’s just that…it’s complicated.” She hung her head, feeling gutted and broken, her head swimming with confusion and indecision.
“You’ll have to excuse me for not being terribly convinced, when you don’t necessarily want to go back to him.” He turned away from her and started to pace again, before spinning back to her, anger and hurt in his eyes as he threw his hands up in frustration. “I love you, Hannah—you’re my entire world. And I need you like you’re the air I breathe, the blood in my veins. But you want to settle for someone who can’t even bother to show you any affection until he realizes someone else is interested and you’re moving on.”
“He said he was pushing me away to keep me out of this mess—and I know that to a huge extent it’s an excuse, but…I don’t know, Jake. I feel like I owe him something, especially if he’s been trying to find Ryan’s killer all this time.” Not to mention, Will nearly died because of his search.
And yet her heart was aching for Jake—not just because of what he had gone through with his family, but because she hated herself for hurting him by feeling like she needed to give Will another chance.
She closed the distance between them, slipping her arms around his waist and nuzzling him. “I still love you, Jake. I truly do. I’m sorry for being confused by all this. I just don’t even know what to think anymore.”
“Then maybe I need to remind you of what you’ll be walking away from if you decide to go back to Will. Because we both know any affection he shows you will be short-lived. I love you, Hannah, and I always will. There is nothing short-term about the way I feel about you. “ Cupping her face in his hands, he hauled her to him for a kiss, his tongue darting past her lips as she grabbed his hips and pressed her body to his so she could feel his cock trapped between them.
His kiss deepened, swallowing her needy moans as he made her head spin, trailing kisses and nips down her jaw to her neck and raking his teeth against her racing pulse, before sinking his teeth in. Stroking him through his jeans, she quickly undid them, desperate to feel his hardness, skin to skin. Never had she wanted anyone the way she wanted Jake. Wrapping her fingers around his hard length, she relished the feel of his cock in her palm, hard and silky smooth, pulsing in response to her touch, leaving her to wonder if she’d have to give him up, if this might be the last time she got to be with him.
“Tell me again.” She needed to be reminded of what was at stake or it’d be far too easy to let her guilt and history with Will sideline her.
“You’re mine, Hannah.” He all but growled the words out against her skin as he tore her sweater up over her head and she shimmied out of her jeans. “And there’s no fucking way I’m letting Will touch you again.”
And at that very moment, she didn’t want anyone but Jake ever touching her again, too.
He bit her nipple through the black lace of her bra, as she arched her back in offering, desperate for more. She knew full well what he was capable of, and she wanted him to push her to the edge and beyond. Wanted him to make her feel like the woman she used to be before she’d had her heart broken. Jake, Will—and of course, her brother’s death—had all left their scars. And she wanted to forget her heartache, even if it was just while she was in Jake’s arms. “Please fuck me, Jake…now more than ever, I need you.”
“You don’t need to ask me twice, little red.” He scooped her onto his shoulder in a fireman carry, catching her off guard as he carried her down the hallway. And when he slapped her ass and bit it, she couldn’t help but laugh, despite everything.
“Do that again.” She needed that intensity to chase away her demons and ground her in the here and now, needed the pleasure of her pain to erase her real hurt.
He did as she asked, slapping her ass hard, so the sting blossomed into heat and her head spun with need. “You have me so fucking hard. I love it that you like things rough.”
He lowered her to his large bed and slowly rid himself of the remainder of his clothes, his eyes locked on hers, smoky and sultry, as if he was thinking of all the things he was going to do to her. The mere sight of his muscular and tattooed arms, his broad chest, his washboard abs, and the narrow trail of hair that pointed to his erect cock, had a molten heat swirling in her belly and heading south.
Kneeling between her legs, so that she was riding his thigh, he pressed against her clit with enough pressure to have her going wet. Lowering himself to her, he caught her mouth in a bullying kiss that had her grinding her hips against him, desperate for more as he pulled the lace of her bra down and out of the way, freeing her breast so he could run his thumb over her hard nipple and tease it to a hard nub.
Raising his head to look at her with soft brown eyes, he lazily circled her nipples, driving her insane as her hips squirmed and tilted against him, searching out his cock. “Tell me again, little red…tell me the words I’m looking for.”
She could tell him that she wanted him to fuck her, to make her scream his name, to make her come, but it wasn’t what he was looking for. She knew him like she knew her very own soul, and so she spoke the words he wanted to hear, even if things were complicated between them. “I’m yours, Jake. Yours alone.”
“Fucking hell, I love you, Hannah.” With his lips hard on hers, he nestled himself between her thighs, his hard cock pressing against her throbbing clit, making her curse the fact that she wasn’t completely naked.
His kisses slipped down her neck to her shoulder, mingling with quick bites, catching her delicate skin between his teeth, as he shifted the strap of her bra out of the way. Groaning, he reached under her and flicked the clasp on her bra, pulling it free from her body and tossing it aside as she tried to shimmy out of her panties. Clearly impatient, he grabbed the tiny piece of lace and tore it from her body, and plunged into her the very next moment, filling her as she gasped and bit his shoulder to stifle her moans.
“You’re so tight, little red—and you’re so wet for me… It’s making me fucking crazy.” Jake pulled out until just the head of his cock remain sheathed, and thrust into her hard with a rolling and grinding motion that nearly had her coming right then and there.
He was holding her tightly to him as he pounded into her, so she could feel him in the marrow of her bones, the weight of his large muscular form only making the moment all the more consuming.
With the intensity of his thrusts increasing, he was pu
shing her closer and closer to her orgasm, one kiss melting into the other, until her skin felt electric and she was teetering on the edge.
Wrapping her legs around his ass and thighs, she pulled him tighter to him, her hips rising up to meet his as the energy continued to build. And when he bit her neck, the flicker of pain was enough to push her over the edge, leaving her to bury her cries in the crook of his neck, as her body quivered and shook below him, his thrusts slowing to milk every bit of her orgasm from her body.
He paused, his hard length still buried deep inside her, and brushed the hair from her eyes as he propped himself on his elbows, his gaze taking her in with a soft smile. “I love it when you come, Hannah.”
His brown eyes lit up like a thousand comets streaking in the night sky, and she knew he truly meant every word he’d spoken to her over the last few days—and that she was indeed his everything. This wasn’t just a passing crush or something he had to get out of his system. And the way he looked at her, like she was his very heart, meant he wouldn’t tire of her and push her away like Will had.
“Tell me that we can make this work, Jake.” She couldn’t quite keep the emotion from her voice—the hope, her past heartaches—as she held onto him as if for dear life, desperately needing him to reassure her that things would be okay.
He started to move inside her again, his eyes locked on hers, as her hips rocked to meet his thrusts. “I love you, little red, which means this will work. I swear I can make you happy, and I’m not going to let anything—or anyone—get in our way. Not this time.”
Shifting back, he pulled out of her, leaving her to curse under her breath. “Come back here, Jake.”
He laughed, grabbing her hips and flipping her over onto all fours. “Sweetness, you have the most perfect ass. Like a ripe peach begging for a bite.”
Her scream mingled with her laugh when he did just that, nipping at her ass cheek, so the sharp pain melted into an aching pleasure. “You’re such a brat, Jake.”
“Am I, now?” He laughed, clearly plotting her demise, as he rubbed his slick cock all the way from her throbbing clit to her ass and then back again, keeping a tight grip on her hip with his other hand, to prevent her from pressing back onto his length. He was driving her absolutely crazy, especially when he’d dip the very tip of his cock into her slick heat or press it gently against the pucker of her ass. “And here I was thinking that I wasn’t being a kind and generous lover by giving you a mind-blowing orgasm. Because I do hope you realize that I’m going to have to think long and hard about whether or not I’ll be letting you come again. Might be fun to bring you right to the edge and leave you there.”
She couldn’t help but giggle, tossing him a teasing glare over her shoulder. “Now that’s just mean.”
He smacked her ass so the burning sting blossomed over her skin, her sex wet and aching for him to fill her when the next blow fell. It was beyond her to figure out why it turned her on to the extent it did, but fuck…she loved everything Jake did to her, and it really did make her crazy.
Desperate for him, she shifted her hips back towards him, hoping he’d show her some mercy. “What is it you want, little red?”
His voice was so velvety and thick with need, which only made her want him all the more. “I want to make you come. Please, Jake.”
She loved knowing that she could give him pleasure, and loved seeing the effect she had on him, how he teetered on the edge before losing control. It felt empowering, especially when she couldn’t even get Will to touch her. He may have had his reasons for pushing her away, but it didn’t mean that he hadn’t left her emotionally scarred.
“Sweetheart, it’s all I can do to not come simply by touching you. I don’t think you get just how fucking beautiful and smoking hot you are.” Jake plunged into her, making her gasp as he forced her body to stretch around his hard length, and then pulled out of her entirely, before plunging to the hilt once again and repeating it, hitting an all new set of nerves.
“You’re making me crazy, Jake.” She fisted the comforter on his bed and dropped her head onto her arms, her next orgasm starting to build as he slammed into her with each thrust, his balls hitting her swollen clit.
“Then you know just how I feel—because I’m crazy drunk on you, little red. And I fucking love it.” His pace quickened while he gripped her hip in one hand and let the other one dance down her spine with a fever touch, making a shiver wash over her skin and through her body. And when he pressed a finger slick from her juices against the bud of her ass, she couldn’t help but groan. “Do you like that, sweetness?”
Fuck…the last thing she wanted to be discussing was her ass, but as he slowly thrust his finger in and out of her tight hole, it was all she could do to keep from coming, her orgasm racing towards her like a rogue wave. “Jake…”
“Answer me, Hannah, or I won’t let you come, and then I’ll paddle your ass until it’s scarlet.” His pace quickened as he thrust into her, his finger still an odd obstruction stretching her, when he added a second finger and she was forced to bury her head in the pillow to stifle her needy moans. “Hannah...”
“Fuck…yes, okay? I like it.” She could feel the heat of her embarrassment flushing her cheeks, but at that very moment, she didn’t care. Not when Jake was pounding into her, claiming her very soul, as she teetered on that knife’s edge.
“Touch yourself, love. Come for me…’cause I’m so fucking close, I’m not going to last much longer.” She could hear the truth in his voice, the way it was so thick and hoarse with desire, so she did as he asked, slipping her fingers down between her body and the mattress to tease her swollen and aching clit until she was crying out his name, her body quivering and shaking as the energy inside her was unleashed.
And he was right there with her, chasing her orgasm with his own, slamming into her one last time as he pumped his hot cum deep inside her, his fingers still inside her with just the thinnest of membranes between them and his cock, as he milked the last tremors of their orgasms.
“Hannah…” He spoke her name on an exhale as if it were a reverential prayer, and he was worshipping at her altar, no other words needed between them.
Chapter Fourteen
Jake listened to Michael over his cell, wanting to curse under his breath. “So the hospital is releasing him tomorrow? Yeah…I suppose he can stay here for a few days until you’re done with your investigation—as long as you think it won’t be putting Hannah in harm’s way. Will’s my friend, but she’s my first concern. Okay…yeah, that should work.”
Jake hung up, and pulled Hannah into his arms. He had twenty-four hours alone with her before Will showed up to try to steal her back. Fuck… He wanted to tell Will to fuck off—and he still might do just that. Except that he knew how worried Hannah was, and if Will left, she’d likely go with him to make sure he stayed safe and healthy.
He was all too tempted to drag her back to his bed and make damn good use of the hours they had left. Yet he also wanted to show her what it could be like if she actually moved in with him. Just a normal day spent in each other’s company. He’d only mentioned it casually, to test the waters, not wanting to scare her off, but he would love nothing more.
Currently, Hannah lived over an hour away from Portmore, but she also worked from home, which meant it’d be easy enough for her to move. And fuck, his home might be amazing, with all the logs and stonework, but he’d be more than willing to find a new place if she didn’t want to move into his home. Hell, he’d do anything if it meant he’d get to wake up each morning with her in his arms, and go to bed at night with his cock buried deep inside her and his name on her lips.
“They’re releasing him from the hospital tomorrow.” Jake brushed the hair from her eyes, loving how her black frames were lined on the inside with a spunky teal. “I’m sure it means he’s doing much better, and he’s out of the woods with his injury. He’ll need to stay local for a bit, so he’ll be staying here, if that’s okay with you.”
“It’s not your fault, Hannah. That said, I need to know that you’re with me now. I can’t be casual about what’s between us, and I can’t fucking share you.” The mere thought of it was enough to have a storm brewing inside his chest. He couldn’t bear the thought of Will kissing her, touching her, fucking her. And there was no way in hell he was going to let it happen. He just had to make sure he kept Hannah focused on how good they were together.
“Jake—I’m not going to sleep with him. That said, I don’t know what to think about him wanting us to get back together. I feel like I’ve got to at least hear him out, especially if our problems were because he was trying to find my brother’s murderer. It’d be like punishing him for trying to do something good.” She looked away, letting out a frustrated sigh. And fuck…he knew this wasn’t easy for her, but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to put up a fight.
“I get that, Hannah, but you can’t tell me things were perfect between the two of you even before your brother’s death.” He knew they hadn’t been—or at the very least, he suspected that was the case. Though she’d seemed happy enough, he swore it always felt like she was just getting by. “The light in your eyes had dimmed a long time before that, and I refuse to watch him do that to you again.”
“Jake…I don’t know what to tell you. Things may have not been perfect between us, but I still love him. We’ve been together for ages, and the two of you are my best friends. Given everything that’s happened over the last few days, I’m just not sure I’m in the right headspace to make life-changing decisions. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or that I love you any less, Jake.” She cupped his face and went up onto her toes to nuzzle him, kissing him slow and sweet, until some of his frustration melted away.