Shattered Star

by Tiffany Forbes

  ***

  Nobody ever said things were going to be easy. I wanted to eat so I could not complain now that my plate was full. I had been working now for close to two years at the hospital in Petersburg on the maternity floor. Now that I had my career I was still not a step closer to having a baby of my own. All the hours of work that I put in I didn’t have time to meet anybody.

  After working doubles all week, I was beat. I was going to pick up dinner and a little grocery since I had the next couple of days off. I wanted some crab cakes from Martin’s so that was the first stop. As usual I can never go in the store and just pick up one or two things my cart was loaded.

  I was about to grab a loaf of bread when I spotted a familiar face. There was a thick female reaching down to grab some Hawaiian rolls off the bottom shelf. They tended to sell out fast so she was really down there reaching.

  What caught my eye was the chubby cheeks and the sparkling eyes of the baby boy. He reached out to me and was waving playing peekaboo. He was cutting up as his mother was still reaching.

  “Hey there cutie.”

  “Mama! Shicken?” He tried to give me his chicken that he was eating. Too cute.

  “Son stop trying to give that lady your food,” she laughed.

  I caught the surprise of my life when the face standing up facing me was none other than Star. I thought that was her voice.

  “Star?”

  She paused deciding I guess if she wanted to converse with me. “Hey Kayna.”

  Before I could say anything else the baby smiled at me showing his two front teeth before biting into his chicken.

  When I saw those dimples I already knew who the father of this child was.

  The wheels in my head began to turn, when and how?

  I had never known my brother or her to keep a secret.

  Reaching out I picked up my nephew. Kayna had him dressed cute. I could tell she spent money on his clothing. This whole little outfit looked like something that my brother would wear.

  “Hey little man I’m your auntie.”

  “Auntie.” He touched my face and hugged me.

  The entire time Star didn’t say anything. Well that was okay because she would.

  “We need to talk Star.”

  “Yes, we do.”

  We both checked out and I invited them back to my house since I didn’t stay too far from here in Walnut Hill, in a house that I had remodeled.

  I was tired as hell from work but I now had a sudden burst of energy. Normally I’ll offer my guests coffee, water or soda. Today I was ready for the tea. Hell, I was going to need more than some tea to hear this mess. Matter of fact what she was about to say would be much sweeter than tea. I reached under the island counter and pulled out a bottle of vodka and wine. Either would do possibly both.

  I worked so much I didn’t get a chance to enjoy my adult beverages so today I was going to make the best of it.

  Star sat at the table as the baby walked around across the room touching the cabinet handles until he finally opened the one where I kept my pots and pans. My kitchen was spacious with plenty of counter space, so a child would have a good time playing. I had my home laid out so whenever I did decide to have children I’d be all set. He sat down and begin to play in his own little world. Damn he looked like Case.

  “Girl what do you want? You must pour your own troubles. I have not talked to you or seen you in over a year but don’t act like you forgot.”

  She grabbed the wine, “I’m not doing too much today. I got Sun with me and I’m not drinking and driving.”

  “Girl yall more than welcome to kick it over here. And why you keep calling nephew son?”

  “That’s his name Sun. My world revolves around this little baby. I’m sure you got a million questions. Give me the wine opener so I can get comfortable I may end up staying over like old times sakes like in school.”

  After getting the wine opener and some glasses we took the party to the living room. I couldn’t believe me and my friend had lost contact like this and here she was now with a baby by my brother.

  My parents would love to know this. In the last year, we had found out that Pops had cancer so we had been going through it so this would be good news. Although he had beat the cancer this was some hope for the family because they were still waiting on grandchildren.

  Here I was jumping the gun maybe it was the liquor but I had a million questions.

  By now Sun had play himself to sleep so she put him in the bedroom adjacent to the living room.

  “When did you and Case hook up? And why the fuck you aint tell me? Damn, I thought you were my girl!”

  “Honestly Kayna, I didn’t know how to tell you.

  “Honestly I didn’t know how to tell you. Do you know how stupid I felt getting pregnant after a one night stand to a married man?”

  I leaned back. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  “Wait a minute. All this happened after our graduation party?”

  “Yep. Something like that.”

  “Don’t fake shy and innocent with me now. You were not doing that when you were busting it open for a real nigga.” I had to stand up and walk around. My brother had hit it off with one of my closest friends and fathered a baby. Stopping near the fireplace I placed my glass on the mantel. It was the middle of the day and we were getting wasted.

  “Shut up. I see you still say anything.”

  She laid back on the chair with her feet propped on the ottoman drinking her wine straight out the bottle. When we were in school we would drink the hell out of moscato. This felt something like old times.

  “I can’t believe that Case never brought my nephew around. Yall niggas foul!”

  “You kill me getting loud when you drink. Don’t wake Sun up damn.”

  “My bad. I’m still in shock that yall two linked up. So why yall ain’t tell me, again?”

  “Well technically he doesn’t know about Sun. I called him after we linked up and told him that I needed to see him and this fool had the audacity to tell me not to call him because he was married. You have brought me for a fucking penny girl!”

  “Shut the front door. So, my brother failed to tell you that he was married before you gave him your cookies? What in the world. I thought that you knew this?”

  “No I didn’t know. I didn’t know your brother was that fine either until at the cookout. I guess life is full of surprises.”

  I cut her off before she could continue.

  “Being that Case is married I never mentioned him to you period. I already know how my brother is. Shit had you told me that you were going mess around with him I would have told you even though I hate that bitch he has for a wife, Dream.”

  “Kayna…. Listen for a minute damn. Can I finish please?”

  “I’m happy to have a nephew but I am happy to find out this way. Okay, go ahead. I’m listening.”

  “Once I missed my period and kept getting sick I already knew what time it was. Once your brother tried to shit on me I put it on God that I was not going to contact his ass no more. That nigga got me fucked up.”

  This was just too much to take in. Sun was starting to rise. Naptime was over. I guess he heard all the noise that we were making. I went to get him and she followed as we continued our conversation.

  I was halfway through the vodka and she had downed the wine and was now drinking with me.

  He looked around for his mother as I went to pick him up. He didn’t want to be held so he begins to squirm in my arms looking at his mother standing in the doorway.

  “So, you’ve been raising him by yourself? When I called you all those times and you didn’t answer or respond back, I see why now. Well girlfriend it is time to face the music. Case may as well get ready to take care of his responsibilities.”

  Tired of me holding him I put Sun down and he went to his mother.

  The last time I spoke with Star she told me she accepted a job in Manassas and she was thinking about being a trave
lling nurse.

  We both accepted new jobs shortly after school I didn’t think much of her. I was not on social media either because in the past when I was in the streets I didn’t want everyone to know what moves I was making so I never signed up for any of that shit. This whole time my friend was raising a baby that my brother had no clue about. The funny thing is not too long ago me and him had a conversation about children.

  Well now Case has a son. That put a smile on my face watching Star interact with him.

  There is always a calm before the storm. How would that foolish wife of his act if she found out he had a baby on her, with her dramatic bourgeois ass.

  Chapter 7 Case

  I never intended to be in these streets. This was not the plan. Two years ago, me and Kayna had made plans and I was nothing but all talk. I was still out here fucking off and didn’t have shit to show for it but a few cars and a broken marriage.

  I found a paper from an abortion clinic in Dream’s jeans when I was doing laundry. I had wanted to have a child with my wife for a while and she did this shit. This was just what I needed to cut her ass off.

  I had too much pressure on me.

  I owed Mills a shit load of money. I had been gambling and fucking up the money. If I didn’t come up with his cash it was going be some shit. I am not a bitch nigga and it ain’t no punk in my blood but this shit was not going to end good.

  Between me trying to get that shit together and coming home to Dream nagging and complaining I didn’t care what the hell happened.

  Watching the clothing spin in the front-loading washer I gassed up to ease my mind. My life was like the spin cycle, just going in circles going nowhere.

  Some shit had to shake.

  I loved Dream but I loved myself. Her love spell had worn off a nigga. Here I was doing all the laundry as her ass slept peacefully without a care in the world. After running around all night, I was in here washing clothes. She failed her wifely duties all the way around. She had not been giving me no pussy so she had to be fucking somebody.

  We had not had sex in almost three months.

  The date on that paper was two weeks ago.

  In the past when I wanted to leave Dream could always tell and would straighten up and act right long enough to keep me complacent.

  I risked too much especially my freedom. I never worked a real job. A nine to five was not for me so I was back on this whole trucking business. I got my CDLs because I wanted to start my company but the time seemed to be always off. Once I paid Mills I was going to do it.

  Damn I had smoked my shit down to the end. I thought about firing up another one but once finished these clothes I was going to bed; a nigga was tired as hell.

  I took the clothes out of the dryer almost thirty minutes later and folded them. I separated my stuff from hers. I was ready to separate my life from her too.

  Instead of going to bed I went in the living room and kicked back on the oversized couch. When I closed my eyes, I don’t know why Star’s face came to mind.

  I had been thinking about her for often lately. I almost felt like shit after that one time that she called me and I told her don’t call me anymore because I’m married.

  That was the dumbest shit I could have done. This was around the time when me and Dream were on good terms and I thought we would stay that way.

  My dumb ass called ol’ girl the moment Dream started acting funky a month later and of course her number was disconnected.

  I wanted to ask Kayna for her number because I know she had it. I didn’t want to blow my own cover to my sister. Her nosey ass would have loved for me to wife up her bestie. My pride wouldn’t allow me to ask her so I just put it in the back of my mind.

  Here I was lying on the couch thinking about another woman, hopefully sleep would come soon.

  Tossing and turning I didn’t fall immediately asleep. I kept seeing lil’ baby in that all white she had on at the party looking sexy as a mother.

  My phone begins buzzing on floor beside the chair. I started to ignore it. It kept vibrating against the hard wood floor. If I didn’t answer it was going to vibrate right under the damn chair. I picked it up.

  It was Kayna:

  Hey bro. Can you talk right now???

  This is serious!!!

  Damn big head respond or something….

  Case I know u got the msg!!!

  Call me in the a.m.!!!

  Love you big brother

  What the hell did Kayna want at this hour? It was late night, early morning. I would call her back in the morning. I needed to talk to her about this abortion anyway. I shared everything with my sister with the exception of telling her about me and Star’s one time fling. It was no secret that she was not a fan of Dream, she made sure to remind me whenever Dream was in her presence that I needed to take out the trash and clean house. She was so disrespectful yet at the same time my wife knew I was not about to play about my sister. Maybe I would ask about Star and get her number. That was something to sleep on. Closing my eyes, I faded on out.

  Two Weeks Later

  Chapter 8 Star

  I’m coming for everything that is mine

  After talking all night well into the night Kayna convinced me that I needed to let Case meet Sun, as well as her parents. I was going to take this shit one day at a time. I didn’t have time for no crazy shit jumping off.

  I thought everything through and I didn’t want any shit out of his wife. Kayna had already told me how she acted. I didn’t need the drama in my life.

  Finally, the meeting was set to go meet up with Case. I was nervous as hell. I didn’t know what to put on or nothing. I was getting all worked up over a fool who curved the shit out of me. I hoped that I was doing the right thing.

  For the last two weeks, I had been staying at Kayna’s house.

  That day when we ran into each other at Martin’s I was here visiting my parent’s gravesite as their anniversary was approaching. I missed them so much and I wanted Sun to have some kind of relationship with his family. The whole time I was here I was debating if I should reach out to Kayna and dammit luck put her in my path.

  Things had a crazy way of working out. I needed things to go good and in my favor so I put my pride to the side and allowed Kayna to set the meeting up. We were going to meet up and then take Sun to meet his parents later that day.

  Case came over to Kayna’s house to pick me up at the exact time that he said he would. It felt funny being around him. But I may as well get used to it because we would have to deal for at least the next eighteen years. That one night that we chose to get up ensured that.

  As usual this nigga was looking good. He wore the cologne that I remembered him wearing that last time we were together. There was a silence between us but body language told it all as we stared one another down.

  “Ms. Star. It’s good seeing you. So where is my son?”

  Kayna had been spoiling Sun and he was in the room with her.

  “He’s in there with his aunt.”

  He licked his lips and looked at me. That was the same look with them bedroom eyes that got us into this mess. Something about that beard drove me crazy. I didn’t and was not going to allow my hormones to get the best of me.

  This was strictly about my son and besides this fool still had a wife. Don’t think for one minute that we were not about to address that. I felt like such a damn fool. On everything.

  I had planned this great career so I could live the life that I never had and instead I was raising a child by a married man.

  Ms. Hope was still at work so we had a few hours to before we went over there so I decided to just chill with him and clear the air. As we sat facing one another in the spacious living room he said “Baby mama you know you can sit closer. I don’t bite unless you want me to.”

  “Let me tell you one thing and let’s make this clear Case, don’t call me no damn baby mama, and second don’t be trying to pull up on me. You are a married man remember.”


  I looked at his hand and didn’t see his ring. That came as a surprise.

  “What are you looking for? I cut my ties with my wife. On the real it’s a good thing that everything worked out the way that it did, to be honest.”

  I sat up at this. Damn if I didn’t get a little excited. Who knows what this could mean for us.

  “I heard about the piece of work you married. Well sorry that yall over with. What happened you told her you had a baby?”

  This was the most awkward conversation ever.

  He began to laugh. This shit was funny.

  “Naw I found out she had one. She had a damn abortion. I know it was not my child because we hadn’t been fucking. After that one time with you my marriage was over at that point. It wasn’t too much to begin with. I want to apologize to you.”