Wrapped Up in You

by Jill Shalvis

  Chapter 12

  If you’re not turning up the tension, you’re only cheating yourself

  For the next two days, Ivy went through the motions at kickboxing, at work, everywhere, all while braced for Kel’s inevitable appearance.

  Because she’d sneaked out on him at the diner.

  It’d been for a good cause, she reminded herself. She’d done it for him. And yet at that thought, she rolled her eyes. She couldn’t even sell the lie to herself.

  Family drama made her nervous and anxious and extremely uncomfortable. Add that to what she was feeling for Kel, a guy who was the opposite of a keeper—hello, he was leaving town soon—and she’d just run scared.

  Not cool.

  But . . . she’d also wanted Kel and his mom to talk, for their sakes, and she was no one to them. She hadn’t needed to be there.

  It wasn’t hard to keep herself busy. Work had picked up, having her considering upping Jenny’s hours. She’d procrastinated on doing that up until now because of the cost. And getting bigger meant putting more of herself out there, and that was terrifying. What if she failed?

  In the past, she’d always positioned herself to be able to get out quick if needed. From anything. There’d been years where all her belongings had fit into a single backpack.

  That was no longer the case. For God’s sake, she’d spent two hours last night deep into Pinterest, looking for ideas on how to decorate the condo she didn’t yet own. Her board was filled with her hopes and dreams, and she’d only stopped when she’d literally dropped her phone on her face.

  Now it was the end of a shift and she was getting ready to leave her truck in Jenny’s hands for the dinner service. But Jenny was on the phone blowing smoochie kisses to some guy, and finally, out of patience, Ivy gave her the wrap it up gesture.

  Jenny slipped her phone in her pocket and gave what could only be called a dreamy sigh.

  “You’ve gone out with him once,” Ivy said.

  “Twice. And he’s The One, I know it.”

  “That’s what you said about the last guy.”

  “The last guy had me fooled,” Jenny said. “But this time, this guy . . . he’s going to stick. He is,” she said to Ivy’s look of worry. “I know it.”

  “Yeah? How can you be so sure?”

  “Because my heart says so.” Jenny rubbed the middle of her chest.

  “Might just be indigestion.”

  Jenny laughed. “So cynical. What has love ever done to you?”

  What had love done to her? Name it. She’d sacrificed plenty in the name of love. Believing time and time again in her mom, that this move, this job, would be the one and they’d settle somewhere and be a family. Hadn’t ever happened. Believing in her brother and his stupid get-rich-quick schemes that never turned out to be anything but trouble. And then there’d been Dillon. Yeah, she’d actually believed he might be The One, and she’d probably sounded just like Jenny. Hopeful. Excited. Happy.

  But that had ended in not only heartbreak, but also losing the place she’d come to think of as home, and the small community of his friends as well. To her, love meant her making stupid sacrifices. And yet in return, no one had ever sacrificed for her in any way.

  The bottom line, love offered nothing but pain. “Just . . . be careful,” she said to Jenny.

  “What’s the fun in that?”

  Sadie showed up just then with a carload for Ivy.

  Her trays.

  Ivy began unloading them with Sadie and Jenny’s help, feeling the weight of Sadie’s gaze. “What?”

  “You know what,” Sadie said.

  Ivy blew out a breath. Yeah, she figured she did. Sadie wanted to know why Kel hadn’t returned the trays himself. “It’s complicated.”

  “Uh-huh,” Sadie said dryly. “He’s a man, isn’t he? Men are complicated.”

  Jenny laughed. “Agreed. But then again, the very best things always are, aren’t they?”

  “One hundred percent,” Sadie said. “But to be fair to men everywhere, women tend to be the ones to make everything so complicated. I certainly did with Caleb. Good thing he’s a patient man. Also good thing he had the sense to know I was worth all the trouble. Anyway, yesterday Kel asked Caleb to return the trays for him. Said something about you probably not wanting to see him, since you’d ditched him on a date by climbing out a bathroom window to escape him.”

  Jenny turned and gaped at Ivy. “You dined and ditched on the hot cowboy? Seriously?”

  “Oh my God. No.” Ivy closed her eyes and shook her head. “That’s not how it went down.” She gave it some thought and sighed heavily. “Okay, that’s pretty much exactly how it went down. But it wasn’t a date.”

  Jenny shook her head. “Wow.”

  Sadie just laughed in amazement. “So it’s true.” She bit her lower lip. “I overheard them talking. Caleb really had to drag it out of Kel. I bet you anything he’s not used to being ditched on a date, not a guy like that.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning,” Sadie said. “Kel’s . . .”

  “Sex walking?” Jenny offered helpfully as she walked off to serve some customers.

  “I was going to say tough,” Sadie said to Ivy. “And steady as a rock. And he’s also a real good guy all the way through.” She said this last with fierce affection, and Ivy felt another stab of regret.

  “I didn’t ditch him . . . exactly,” she said quietly. “I was giving him some space.” And that was the truth. Because that night, sitting there in the diner watching Kel and his mom, she realized the stoic, always in control Kel was a master at hiding his emotions. Maybe even as good at it as she was. He’d had to be in order to be strong for his sister and grandparents, to help run the ranch, to be the man of the house.

  Which meant they had more in common than she could have ever guessed. And maybe . . . maybe that’s why she’d crawled out a tiny bathroom window and run like hell.

  Without a word.

  It’d been so rude. She knew this. She felt bad for it. But she couldn’t say she’d surprised herself. She had a long history of not looking back. So it was doubly annoying that this time, with Kel, she wanted to.

  Sadie stared at her and then suddenly smiled. “Wow. I didn’t see this coming, but I should have. You like him. You really like him.”

  “Woman, bite your tongue.”

  “Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll shut up,” Sadie said, and when Ivy just snorted, she rolled her eyes. “Okay, so I don’t know how to shut up. Tell me anyway.”

  Ivy shook her head. “I . . . can’t.” And because Sadie looked hurt at that, she confessed her truth. “I’m flying blind here. I haven’t been able to put words to my feelings yet.”

  Sadie nodded in understanding. “I can understand that. But I worry. I worry you don’t think that you deserve happiness. Because I didn’t, not until all too recently. I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

  “We’re tougher than we look.”

  Sadie laughed at that. “Don’t worry, you both look tough as hell. Impenetrable. And that’s another thing I worry about, because you’re not. You’re sweet and kind, and just a really great person, Ivy.”

  Ivy scoffed.

  “No, I mean it,” Sadie said fiercely, surprising Ivy with her vehemence and grabbing her hand, holding on tight, apparently not willing to let her joke this away. “Sometimes I can feel the weight of your . . . I don’t know.” Sadie tossed up her hands. “Your past maybe? And it makes me ache for you, Ivy. You hold so much of yourself in. I want to be there for you. Let me be there for you, like you always are for me.”

  “You are here for me,” Ivy said softly. “You brought me my trays back. That was really nice of you, and—”

  “Best friends are more than nice to each other.”

  Ivy stilled. “Best friends?”

  Sadie gave her a well, duh look, and at the sheer irritation in it, Ivy felt emotions flood her. Warmth, gratitude . . . affection. “I didn’t know that’s how you
saw it.”

  “Well it is,” Sadie said. “And if you don’t know, it’s because you hide behind your walls. And bee-tee-dub, it’d be really great if you stopped doing that. I mean, hide from the world if you want, but not me. I’m here for you. Okay?”

  Unable to speak, Ivy nodded.

  “You promise?”

  “I’ll try.”

  “Pinkie swear,” Sadie demanded and help out her pinkie.

  Ivy managed a laugh. “You and your pinkie swears—”

  “I’m dead serious,” Sadie said. “I know you never make promises you don’t keep. So if you mean it, you’ll promise me.”

  Ivy stared at the proffered pinkie. “Wow, I’m sorry, but I just got unexpectedly blinded by your twenty million carat diamond ring . . .”

  “Of course you are, and it’s three carats,” Sadie said so loftily that Ivy laughed and hooked her pinkie with her apparently best friend.

  “Sadie,” she said, suddenly serious.

  Sadie narrowed her eyes. “So help me God, if you’re going to back out now—”

  “No. I was just going to say that I’ve never had a BFF before.”

  Sadie shut her mouth. Her eyes went suspiciously shiny. “Okay, now you’re just trying to make my mascara run.” And she hugged Ivy so tight that she couldn’t breathe.

  Ivy tried to tap out, but Sadie just squeezed harder.

  “Air,” she gasped dramatically.

  “Oh, shut up.” And she kept hugging Ivy.

  What seemed like a year later, they left Jenny in charge and walked through the courtyard to the pub. Sadie slowed at the fountain in the center of the courtyard.

  “You know . . .” she started.

  With a rough laugh, Ivy shook her head. The Pacific Pier Building had been built in the 1800s for a very large ranching family’s central compound. Back then, there’d still been cows in Cow Hollow. Today there wasn’t a single square inch of the San Francisco district that hadn’t been built on, but here in the center of the courtyard, the original ranching family’s fountain still stood.

  The legend associated with that fountain went that if one made a wish with a true heart, then true love would then find you.

  Ivy thought she had a better chance of Santa Claus leaving her a few presents on Christmas Day.

  Sadie looked at her. “You’re not even curious what might happen if you wish?”

  “No.”

  “Really? You’re not interested at all?”

  “In true love? Given all that love’s ever done is destroy me, I’d rather make a pact with the devil,” Ivy said.

  “But if it destroyed you, it wasn’t true love.” She pulled out a quarter and held it out.

  “You don’t expect me to believe that true love costs only twenty-five cents, do you?”

  Sadie laughed. “Maybe it’s on sale, just for you. One time offer only.”

  Ivy thought about what Sadie had with Caleb, how real and deep it was, and for the first time in her life she wavered.

  Sadie did a little flourish with the quarter, once again offering it up.

  Ivy snatched it and tossed it into the fountain. She stared at the coin as it slowly sank below the surface, finally clinking on the bottom, shining up through the water.

  “What did you wish?”

  Ivy tore her gaze off the coin. “I can’t tell you or it won’t come true.”

  Sadie grinned. “See, you do believe!” She turned and started walking again.

  Ivy stayed still a moment longer, staring into the water. I wish I could believe, she whispered to herself.

  When she caught up to Sadie, her friend was smiling.

  “What?” Ivy asked.

  “Nothing.” She took Ivy’s hand. “You scared?”

  Terrified. “Of course not.”

  “It’s okay. True love’s worth the fear.”

  “I’ll take your word for it,” Ivy said. “Now hurry up, it’s freezing out here.”

  Tonight was Dare to Dart Night at the pub. The dart tournament was a monthly occurrence, and there was a bracket and stakes to go with it.

  Ivy was on a team with Jake and his sister Tae. They were up by a whole hell of a lot for several reasons. First, Ivy had grown up in bars so she rocked darts. Second, Jake’s throwing arm was big league ready. Oh, and three, Tae looked dainty and fragile, but she could hit a bull’s-eye without even trying.

  Kel showed up about an hour into the tournament. Ivy immediately went into plan mode. She decided to play it casual, but she’d find a way to apologize to him later, in private. Maybe. Depending . . .

  Depending on what exactly, she really had no idea. She was hoping it’d come to her in the moment.

  But then she got a good look at his face. His mouth was tight and especially grim. She kept an eye on him as she finished her round. He’d sat at the bar with Caleb and Sadie, and she was pretty sure he hadn’t even noticed her presence.

  Until he lifted his gaze and unerringly met hers across the boisterous, nosy, crowded bar. Even from their distance, her heart gave a stupid flutter, but that took a backseat because there was something in his gaze, a hollow, haunted look that clutched her heart and made the air in her lungs whoosh out. The guy had been through a rough spell. He was recovering from nearly being killed at work, and had just unexpectedly run into the mother who’d abandoned him, and then the girl he . . . liked? . . . had skipped out on him.

  She was a jerk.

  Excusing herself, she made her way across the room, watching as Kel continued to interact with Caleb and Sadie, who were both smiling and chatting easily, making Ivy frown.

  Couldn’t they tell something was wrong with him?

  When she got to the far end of the bar where they were gathered, she stopped, suddenly feeling extremely awkward.

  “Hey, you!” Sadie said in greeting and gave her a hug before grabbing Caleb by the hand. “We’re going to kick some serious ass in the dart tourney.”

  “But it’s not our turn yet—” Caleb started and then zipped it at Sadie’s long look in his direction. “Well clearly I’m mistaken,” he said smoothly, making Sadie beam at him as she pulled him away.

  “She’s matchmaking,” Kel said without any inflection or indication of his thoughts.

  “Yes,” Ivy agreed. “I’m not sure she can help herself. Happy people are like that. They want to spread the cheer, when what they don’t get is that it’s horribly annoying to those of us who just want to be left to our misery.”

  That got her an almost smile. “You’re happy in your misery then?” he asked.

  “Exactly.” But more than anything, Sadie’s efforts were misguided because she and Kel didn’t have a shot at the long-lasting happiness Sadie and Caleb were clearly destined for. But it didn’t mean that she couldn’t still apologize.

  Kel was sprawled comfortably on the barstool, one hand on a bottle of beer, watching her with that same small smile he’d had with Caleb and Sadie. The one that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

  “How did things go with your mom the other night?” she asked.

  He shrugged.

  “Don’t want to talk about it?”

  He took a pull of his beer. “If you’d stuck around instead of sneaking off, you’d already know.”

  She winced. “Kel—”

  “Before we start this conversation neither of us wants to have, why don’t you do what you do and walk away. There’re windows in the bathrooms, if you feel more comfortable with that exit strategy.”

  Chapter 13

  Get your head in the game

  Ivy blew out a breath and faced the clearly angry Kel. “I’m not leaving.” She took the vacant barstool next to him. Because of how he was turned toward her, this put his long legs in close contact with hers. He could have pulled back, but he didn’t. She decided to take that as a good sign. “I need to apologize to you.”

  “For?” he asked with a shrug as if whatever it was didn’t matter to him one way or the other.

&n
bsp; “You know what for,” she said quietly.

  “Oh, you mean when you dined and ditched me?”

  “That’s not—” She took a moment and another breath. “Okay, yes, fine. I did that, and I was a jerk. But I had a good reason, Kel.”

  “Which was?”

  “I wanted to give you time to talk to your mom.”

  He just looked at her.

  “Look, I didn’t start this story with an I’m-proud-of-what-I-did. Because I shouldn’t have left like that without thanking you for the ride and the help at the event. At the very least, I could have sent a text.”

  He raised a brow.

  “What? I don’t like talking on the phone.”

  “Not that,” he said. “Interesting apology . . . since there wasn’t one.”

  She grimaced. “I am sorry, okay? You deserved better, much better. But I really did think that you and your mom needed to talk.”

  “We didn’t,” he said flatly.

  It was her turn to cock her head and study him. He was most definitely doing a good job at deflecting and misdirecting, but she was no longer surprised by their odd connection and ability to see right through each other’s bullshit. And see right through him she did. “What happened?” she asked softly. “What’s wrong?”

  “How do you know something’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know exactly. I guess I can read it in your eyes and body language. I can . . . feel it. It’s about your mom, right?”

  “We’re not . . . close.”

  “I’m getting that,” she said carefully. “She just seemed so sweet, and so happy to see you. She was proud of you, and that was special to see. Not that I’ve had my mom look at me like that.” She shook her head. “Honestly? I was a little envious.”

  “Don’t be.” Kel ran a thumb over the condensation on the bottle of beer in his palm. “We haven’t had any sort of a relationship for a long time.”

  “And that makes you . . . sad.”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. For a long time, I resented her for having to lie for her.” At her clear surprise, he nodded. “When I was ten, I caught her having an affair. I kept her secret for her. Two years later my dad died, and my mom sent me and my sister to Idaho to live with our grandparents.”