by Lyra Marlowe
He kissed his friend again, this time with unmistakable intent to arouse.
Nolan drew back, concerned. “Now? You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.”
“John…”
“Damn it, Nolan, don’t make me beg!” Then, flushed, John added, “I was saving that for next week.”
Still, Nolan considered for a long moment. “All right, now. But not here. This tile floor’s a killer.”
They stood, kissed, moved to the living room, kissed again.
Held each other, closer now than in the kitchen, and John could feel the sweet bulge between Nolan’s legs, mirroring his own. Nolan had a way of kissing slow and deep that made John’s knees go weak. But that was okay too. He was safe in the other man’s arms.
“One more ground rule,” Nolan said softly. John groaned. “It’s important. If you want to stop, say stop. Anywhere along the line. You say stop, we stop.”
“I don’t want to stop,” John protested, nuzzling his neck, tasting him gently.
“I know. But it’s okay if you do, later.”
John wasn’t sure how they got to the bedroom. They were still kissing. Nolan’s hands moved over his body, neck, shoulder blade, back ribs, waist, butt, thigh, around and up, barely grazing his groin, over his stomach, on his chest and nipples. John’s back arched toward him, but he wanted more, he wanted to be skin on skin.
Before he’d finished the thought, Nolan was pulling John’s shirt up. John raised his arms, helping, then quickly unbuttoned Nolan’s shirt and pushed it away. Their bodies came back together, tongues intertwined as they met chest to chest, warm skin warming further in friction. John closed his arms around him, wanting to be closer, closer still.
“Boots,” Nolan murmured close to his ear.
“Gmph,” John answered. He found a hollow where Nolan’s neck met his shoulder and nipped it lightly.
Nolan groaned in appreciation. But he repeated, “Boots, John.”
Though he heard the word, John could not figure out what he was talking about. There were too many different discoveries tumbling through his mind. He liked the way Nolan’s chest sloped. He wouldn’t have guessed it was so well muscled. And there was a fine covering of chest hair, not much, but enough to accent the fact that he was with a man. John worked his way down to a nipple and flicked it with his tongue, then sucked it in to feel it harden against his lips. He moved his leg and gently kicked Nolan’s, and he finally realized that the boots Nolan was talking about were on his feet and there was no easy way to get them off.
“Oh,” he said, releasing the nipple, “boots.”
“Huh?” Nolan answered.
John levered himself out of Nolan’s arms and sat down on the bed to take his boots off. Nolan sat with him, just watching, and the look in his eyes gave John goose bumps. Boots gone, John reached for his lover-to-be and they lay back together.
They stretched out facing each other, close. John loved the feel of their skin meeting, loved the strange newness of having a man’s body beside him, but Nolan was almost too gentle, too careful. John knew he was being deliberate about not rushing him, but John wanted to be rushed now. His erection ached in the confines of his pants.
He stroked Nolan’s crotch, certain that the other man felt the same way. Slowly he realized that he could do something about it. His hand fumbled at the zipper of Nolan’s pants. Even though his other arm was pinned under Nolan’s ribs, John managed to unzip them and found his way inside to the silk boxers.
He hesitated for a second. Silk? Really?
As if he was reading his mind, Nolan muttered, “Haven’t done laundry all week. Been kinda busy.”
“Ah.” Holding his lover’s firm, hot and damp erection through the silk, John was sure his own cock would explode. But Nolan had freed John’s cock in return and was holding it, bending to lick his lover’s chest as they both kicked their pants away.
John trembled. He couldn’t decide what he wanted first. To suck or be sucked, to penetrate or be penetrated. He wanted it all, he wanted it right now. He was finally here, where all his fantasies had brought him, finally exactly where he wanted to be. In a minute or two he and Nolan would climax together. John’s fantasies would be fulfilled, his love affair would truly begin and he would damn well drive that bastard Kevin out of Nolan’s heart and body and memory for good.
Except that Kevin had probably been a much better lover.
The fantasy folded up around him. John shuddered, hard, his sweat gone cold. “Nolan,” he managed in a small choked voice, “Nolan, stop.”
Nolan immediately removed his hand from John’s cock, wrapped his arms tightly around John’s shoulders and held him. “All right, John,” he said clearly. “It’s all right.”
God, John thought, now I know why I love this man. “No, I didn’t mean stop, I want you, I still want you.” He rolled his hips for emphasis. Behind two thin layers of cloth, their cocks jousted like swords. “I just— I just—”
Nolan stroked his hair soothingly. “Slower?”
“Hell no.”
The other man smiled, puzzled. “Then what is it?”
His tenderness made John want to cry. At the same time, he wanted Nolan as his lover more fiercely than before. But John couldn’t shake the specter of Kevin, couldn’t even explain it.
Kissing him gently, Nolan asked, “Do you want to get dressed?”
“No, no,” John protested, clutching at him. “Nolan, I don’t want to stop. It’s just…” He stopped, not wanting to mention that name, to cause Nolan any more pain.
“Do you want Lucy?” Nolan suggested softly.
“What?”
“Lucy.” Without waiting for an answer, he called, “Lucy!”
She was there before John could put words to his startled protest. He looked over his shoulder and she was standing beside the bed, smiling softly at the two of them.
“I— But,” John sputtered. Lucy peeled off her shirt and slipped into bed next to him.
In a small, loud corner of John’s mind, a boy whose mother had taken him to Sunday school screamed in protest. He was mostly naked and fully aroused, in bed between a woman and his best friend. This was against all laws of nature, it was sick, it was sick, it was…
John rolled toward Lucy and her tongue slipped between his teeth, familiar, fiery, welcome. He turned away, to Nolan, a new tongue, different, bigger, stronger, new and enticing, welcoming. Hands were all over him, too many to keep track of, to sort out, hands on his ass, on his cock, his nipples, his face, his hair, a fingertip in his mouth.
John Krulak, the loud voice said in his mind, you are completely out of your league. Then the voice fell silent, overwhelmed by erotic sensation.
John’s own hands seemed useless. He didn’t know where to put them, who to touch or where or how. “I’m sorry,” he cried. “I don’t know what to do.”
Mouths, on his mouth, his throat, his ear. “Shh, John, be easy.” Lucy.
“We know what to do.” Nolan.
“You don’t have to do anything but give yourself to us.”
“You want to, don’t you?”
“Don’t you?”
“God yes!”
He gave up then completely, gave himself over entirely to the pleasure. His cock felt diamond hard. His whole body thrummed with edgy desire. Whatever they wanted, however they wanted him. He wanted them. “Please,” he whispered, “please take me.”
The snap of a bottle cap. Hands on his back, on his ass, slippery warm fingers caressing, probing. Other hands were cupping John’s balls, stroking his cock, his trembling abs. A tongue danced around his ear, another teased his nipple. John groaned. He thought he was going to die from the pleasure, die and go straight to hell, and he did not care.
The rustle of foil, a condom wrapper. Hands guiding him now, onto his side, top leg bent at the knee, ankle braced behind his other knee. Fingers probed again, slippery, and he grabbed them, squeezed, let them go. More, more.
; A mouth on his cock. Sharp little teeth, no danger. His balls ached with the need for release. Fingers tightened into a ring at the base of his cock. Painfully sweet control.
Now, finally, the head of a cock was at the opening of John’s ass, pressing gently for entry. It pressed and slipped in and waited, so careful. Nolan’s arm was across John’s chest, his breath hot on his lover’s neck.
The mouth was moving again, long slow strokes, a mild distraction, enough to permit the cock another inch. John gasped, wanting it all, now. “Please,” he managed to groan. “Please, now.”
Instant gratification. The cock eased home, dwelt deep a moment, then pulled back a little and thrust again. The mouth drew and sucked in exact time to the motion. John tensed, his whole body electric, near convulsion as the flesh bondage of his cock prevented his orgasm.
“Let him go,” Nolan said softly. The fingers opened and John came in a great wave, thrusting against the mouth and back against the cock, his body a great spasm of climax, clutching and releasing until the wave finally passed.
Nolan was still deep inside him, still wonderfully hard.
Releasing John’s cock from her mouth, Lucy slid hands-first up John’s body, and leaned past him to kiss Nolan. John realized that she hadn’t swallowed. Her mouth was still full of his semen, which she lovingly transferred tongue to tongue to Nolan’s mouth. Nolan came then, convulsing deep inside John as he swallowed.
They lay quietly, the three of them, a tangle of arms and legs, catching their collective breath. It seemed to John that he had never been more satisfied, more content. There was nothing more perfect than to be here between his lovers, nothing more natural and nowhere he’d rather be.
Lucy moved first, sliding off the bed and onto her feet.
Dazed, John watched her slender ass, still confined in jeans, as she left the room. She was bare from the waist up. Somehow he’d thought she was naked. He wondered if she was mad at him, at them. But she leaned and kissed them both gently. Sweetly. Everything was exactly how it should be, that kiss promised. “I love you guys,” she whispered. Then she picked up her shirt and left.
“Geep,” John said, and Nolan chuckled warmly.
Eventually they shifted around, threw out the condom and settled back down face-to-face, in each other’s arms.
“Are you all right?” Nolan asked quietly.
“Yes.”
“Sure?”
John shifted. He loved this, being here against Nolan’s warm skin, his friend’s fingers in his hair. “I’m sure. Are you?”
“Oh yes.”
“Lucy?”
“She’ll be fine.”
“I didn’t mean for you to call her. I mean, I didn’t…that was… Holy shit, that was kinky.”
Nolan frowned. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “I totally misunderstood, I should have clarified.”
John sat up halfway, one elbow propping his head. “Nolan, I’m fine. It was… God, it was the best sex I ever had. To be with the two of you, it was perfect. I wouldn’t have changed anything. But I didn’t want you to think, I don’t want you to think, that you’re not enough. You are. You totally are.” He ran out of words. “I’m sorry, you know I’m no good with this feeling stuff.”
The relief on Nolan’s face was radiant.
“You were really worried,” John said.
Nolan nodded. “About a lot of things. I wanted this to be right for you.”
“It was,” John assured him. “It is.” A new thought occurred to him. “We can do this again, can’t we?”
“As often as you want. But Lucy’s going home tomorrow.”
“It’s not Lucy I want.” John frowned. “I mean, I do want her, but not…you know what I mean, right?”
“I know.” Nolan kissed him sweetly. “Before,” he said after they snuggled back down together, “something bothered you.”
“Did it?” John couldn’t remember. “Oh yeah. Kevin.”
“Kevin?”
“He was probably better than me. I mean, he knew what he was doing, at least.”
Nolan kissed him quiet. “It’s not Kevin I want.”
And that was all that needed to be said.
Chapter Fourteen
What felt like a long time later, John woke, aware that Nolan was moving away from him. “What’s wrong?”
Nolan smiled reassuringly. “Nothing. Pizza’s here. You hungry?”
John looked him up and down, his brand new lover standing naked beside the bed. “Ravenous. But let’s have some pizza first.”
They dressed and went to the kitchen. Fresh beers, an extra-large pizza with onions, hot peppers, extra garlic and cheese. Beside it, a small one with mushrooms and pepperoni. It was half gone.
They took the food back to the living room, where Lucy was watching some TV movie with zombies in it.
Nolan sat beside her and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you.”
John sat on the other side, kissed the other cheek. “What he said.”
She beamed at both of them. “Yeah,” she sighed, “but I’m leaving tomorrow and you won’t even miss me.”
“We will miss you horribly,” Nolan protested.
“You owe me thirty bucks for the pizza,” she answered.
“Over-tip much?”
“I offered to show him my tits instead, but he wasn’t interested.”
“He has no idea what he missed,” John said gallantly.
Lucy beamed. “Everybody happy?”
“God yes,” Nolan promised.
“Told you so.” She finished off her beer. “My work here is done.” She looked over at Krulak. “John? You sure you’re okay?”
“I dunno.” His pizza was halfway to his mouth, but his arm seemed to be frozen. He took a quick mental inventory. He’d admitted his feelings for Nolan—mostly. He’d had sex with a man for the first time. Actually, with a man and a woman. He had pizza and beer and some movie full of monsters. He was happy, he decided. Just a little overwhelmed. Stunned.
And through his confusion, there was something else. “You two,” he said slowly. He managed to put his pizza back on his plate. “You’ve done this before.”
“Once,” Lucy answered.
“College,” Nolan confirmed.
John thought about it. “When you slept together.”
“Yes.” Nolan shrugged. “When I decided I was really and truly gay, we, uh…”
“Enlisted a bartender to complete the weekend,” Lucy supplied brightly.
“You seduced a bartender,” John said vaguely. He looked at Nolan. “You seduced a bartender.”
“Well, it was her mostly,” Nolan admitted. “But I didn’t protest any.”
“He was hot,” Lucy added. “Plus there was free liquor.”
“I keep thinking,” John said, “that I’m the great sexual adventurer. And you two—you’ve done it all before.”
“John?”
“I’m okay. I’m okay. Just a little… I’ve got a lot to think about it.”
Lucy stood. “I’m gonna let you guys talk.”
“Sit down,” John said. “You’re part of this too. A big part.”
Lucy shook her head. “Nope. I’m just the hit-and-run matchmaker.”
“You’re more than that,” Nolan said. He touched her hand and she sat back down, but she perched at the front of the couch, ready to flee.
She’s scared, John realized. She feels it too, and she’s more scared than I am. No, than I used to be. “Nolan loves you,” he said.
“This isn’t about me,” she protested quickly.
“It is,” Nolan said. “We want you to stay.”
Lucy popped to her feet again. “No, guys, this is about you two. I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“You’re scared,” John said. He took her hand firmly. “I know all about that, remember? It’s okay that Nolan loves you, but you’re scared to death that I might be falling in love with you too.”
She looked at him. Her eyes were wid
e, her lips slightly parted. “You’re wrong, John. You and me, it’s just sex. Good sex, but nothing more than sex.”
“And me?” Nolan asked. He took her other hand. “What am I?”
“You know I love you,” she protested. “But I do have a job, you know.”
“Get a transfer,” John said logically. “They’re always looking for experienced drug reps around here.”
“Yeah, but I can’t just…” She stopped, drew her hands away from them both. “You’re using me to avoid dealing with each other.”
“Yeah,” Nolan agreed. “’Cause we’re scared to deal with each other.”
“Idiots,” Lucy said lightly. “You love each other. Stop fussing and just go with it.” She stepped past John’s legs, retrieved her pizza and stomped into the bedroom. She closed the door behind her, not quietly.
“Damn,” John said softly. “I didn’t mean to chase her off.”
“She’ll be back,” Nolan said. “She gets scared like that, she just needs a little time to think.” He considered. “She’s right, you know. We’re using her to avoid…us.”
John met his partner’s—his lover’s—eyes. “She was right after that.”
“That we love each other?”
“Yeah. I just, I…”
“John.” Nolan moved closer, put his hand firmly on John’s shoulder. “You’ve spent your whole life with women, and your whole life avoiding commitment. I don’t expect that to change in one night.”
“It’s not one night,” John assured him. “It’s been a long time coming. And when you almost died under that truck…”
“I didn’t almost die,” Nolan protested.
“You almost died,” Krulak repeated. “You scared the shit out of me. And I knew I couldn’t, you know, wait anymore. Just in case. You know?”
A funny smile played around Nolan’s mouth. “You’re telling me we made love tonight because either of us might not come home tomorrow?”
“Hey, I grew up on World War II movies, what do you want?” John grinned. “Yeah, I know. The thing is, without Lucy, I never would have had the nerve to act.”
“I know. Me too.”
John leaned his head back. “Two things?”
“Sure.”