The Role

by A. B. Wilson

  The entire room gasped as one entity as everyone realized what was happening.

  “Alina, you are everything to me, and I’m nothing without you. Every morning that I get to wake up with you is the best of my life. Regardless of wherever we are in the world, whatever we’re doing, I know that I’m home, because I’m with you. I love you, more and more every second, minute and hour, and can’t imagine being without you. Will you marry me?”

  When she didn’t kick me in the balls right then and there, I had some hope that I hadn’t made yet another moronic relationship decision. She’d definitely looked like she wanted to kill me when my knee hit the ground and she realized what was going on. As I continued to talk, we both started to tear up and she made me wait an uncomfortable amount of time before nodding, one hand over her mouth.

  The applause was overwhelming. She pulled me up from the ground and in for a hard kiss and whispered in my ear, “You are a complete. And utter. Asshole.” Each word was punctuated with a nip to my earlobe.

  I laughed and directed her offstage. She’d barely gone two steps before she saw them. My parents and brothers. Ella and her family. A few friends from Chicago. Candace and Rory, who were also newly engaged. Ethan and his latest boyfriend. Everyone who mattered to us was there.

  Her hand over her mouth, she whirled around and punched me in the chest, making the audience laugh harder. Then she grabbed me by the shirt and dragged me off, landing us in the biggest group hug in the world.

  “You’re going to pay for this, Markus. So. Hard.”

  “I know,” I sighed. “But I’ll love every second of it. And so will you.”

  “Always.” She smiled through tears. “Always.”

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  Type Dirty to Me

  Roxanne D. Howard

  Excerpt

  Madelyn leaned against the car headrest and eyed the FedEx envelope on the dash. Her new bookshop, Book Nook, was due to open in three weeks. Her hands were full, but the worry paled compared to the stress of the last few months. She wrapped her fingers around the steering wheel and thumbed the soft padding. She knew what the envelope held. She had expected its arrival and the potent cocktail of change and loss it represented. She sighed, reached for the packet, ripped open the tab and slid out the divorce papers.

  Technically, they’d been divorced for over two months, but her ex had played hardball over assets, so they’d engaged in a game of paperwork tug-of-war back and forth through their attorneys. What a timely relief this envelope was. The cream-colored stationery stapled to the front read—All set, done, filed and dusted. Here is your copy. The paperwork from her attorney was addressed to Madelyn Saunders, but she’d recently changed her surname back to her maiden name, Stacilli. She rifled through the sheets to check her ex’s signature on the last page. Sure enough, he’d signed below her signature.

  “Thank God.” She exhaled with relief, returned the papers and stored the envelope in the glove compartment. “Bye, Chris.”

  A calmness washed over her. She leaned her head back again, savoring the sensation. Some people sported angry visible scars, jagged surgery marks or gunshot exit wounds in plain sight from their marriage and divorce wars. Her scars ran deep inside, where they’d festered until the day she’d chosen to walk away.

  Her cell vibrated. She lifted the phone from its dock attached to the car’s air vent and looked at the notification. A familiar wave of excitement surged through her. Another private message from Easton216. She brought the phone in closer and opened it.

  Easton216: Hey. I got a weird feeling and thought I should contact you. How are you?

  Madelyn shook her head, amused. Trust him to get vibes about her. She typed into her phone, smirking.

  BookCat: Funny you should ask. I got the papers less than half an hour ago. He signed.

  Easton216: Good. And strange, how I felt like I should contact you at the same time. You okay?

  Madelyn touched her hair and raised her eyebrows. What a loaded question. In the past, she would have pacified any concerns with a sunny “I’m fine.”

  But since her divorce, she’d sworn to be honest with herself, including any future relationships. She and Easton216 were open and candid with each other. Their unfiltered connection took some getting used to, though she found it clear and refreshing. He’d revealed that he’d chosen the moniker Easton216 because of his apparent obsession with baseball, telling her there were two hundred and sixteen stitches wrapped around each single baseball, and that the Easton was his favorite type of bat. She keyed in her response.

  BookCat: I’m getting there. It was weird at first, but TBH, I’m better than okay. I’m liberated, and while it’s going to take some getting used to, it feels amazing.

  Easton216: Fantastic, Cat! I know he gave you a fight, from what you mentioned before. I’m glad you’re free. Listen… I have to hop on a flight in a sec, but would you like to talk later tonight, after I land?

  BookCat: Yes, I’d like to, and I’m glad you messaged me. Same time?

  Easton216: You know it.

  BookCat: Talk to you then. Have a good day. Be safe.

  Easton216: You too. This is excellent news. See you tonight.

  She closed the message and redocked the phone, pleased. She’d battled like hell after life had sucked her dry with a supersized straw and threatened to drag her into a bottomless tailspin, but her fate and self-respect were back. The clouds were clearing.

  She killed the engine, shouldered her purse strap and got out of the car.

  * * * *

  “Oh, yes. Never stop touching me. Oh God, more. More.”

  Madelyn turned her head on the massage table, amused. A few feet away, her friend Viv lay face down, moaning, as the young male masseur kneaded her upper back like a baker working a lump of dough. Oh yeah, this guy is into it.

  “Would you like some lavender oil with your shell treatment, Miss Fields?”

  “Affirmative. Hook. Me. Up.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I’ll be back.”

  Viv popped her head out of the headrest. Her smooth red-brown skin emitted a healthy glow beneath the soft, natural lighting, and her long dark braids hung over the sides of the massage table. “He’d better. How you doing over there, girl?”

  “Heavenly.” Madelyn relaxed her shoulders against the massage table, the back of her neck supported by a soft, heated towel. “I know I had reservations about coming here when you called, but I’m so glad you made me. I needed this.”

  “When I split with Anton, I spent an entire week at a spa in Toronto. It changed my life. You’ve got to take care of you. And twisting your arm is what I live for, as you well know.”

  “Oh, I do, but it’s good to be reminded now and again.”

  “Have you talked to your mom since you left Chris?”

  “No.” Madelyn sighed. “Not for many years… You know how she is.”

  “Mmm-hmm. Wish I didn’t, girl. She still in prison?”

  “I don’t know.” She focused on a low, ambient light in the corner. She rarely spoke about her mother with anyone, but Viv wasn’t a random person. “The last time I checked, she was. But I haven’t spoken with her for at least three years. She may have made parole. I made the decision to walk away a while ago. I’ve learned to set better boundaries for me and Josh, and stepping away from her has helped.”

  “It’s better for you both, Mads. She’s toxic with a capital T.”

  “You’re right, as usual. I wish I’d heeded your advice when you warned me that getting together with Chris was like stepping out of a frying pan and into the oven.”

  “It’s not your fault, girl. He can charm the rattle clean off a snake. I know what I said hurt, but back then, I had this feeling, you know? He seemed off, and way too polished. And after what you’d gone through with your mom…”

  “If only I’d listened.” She looked at Viv. Heeding her friend’s advice might ha
ve spared her years of pain. “But it’s not too late to turn things around, right?”

  “Damn right.”

  “Thank you for bringing me here, Viv.”

  Her friend assessed her with warm, dark eyes. “Anytime, babe. I missed your face and curly red hair.”

  Madelyn laughed and brushed a wayward strand out of her eye. “Still red, though more from a box these days to hide the gray.”

  “Pshaw, you and me both. What would we do without hair coloring?”

  “Languish in despair and age thirty years?”

  “You ain’t lyin’. So, how’s life treating you outside of Chris’s clutches?”

  “Better.” Madelyn loosened her shoulders. She hadn’t relaxed this much in years. “Much better.”

  “Good, hon. Real good. So, the divorce is finalized?”

  “Yep. It’s official. I’m a free woman.”

  “That’s what I’m talking about. Freedom at last.”

  “Amen. How’s life in New York? I haven’t gotten to travel there as much as I’ve wanted. Are you seeing anyone?”

  “Okay…no.” Viv reached out her palm. Madelyn held out her hand across the aisle, and her friend clutched it tight. “I see what you did there, scratching the record and trying to turn the convo back to me, but this is a significant historical moment and your newfound independence deserves to be recognized.”

  Madelyn smirked and gave Viv’s hand a gentle squeeze. Viv prosecuted scumbags for a living, balls-out. “All right. You want to do the honors, prosecutor?”

  “You bet your ass. Hear this, world. Here’s to Miss Madelyn effing Stacilli and to never being treated like second class again. To unconditional self-love from here on out and treating yourself like the royal Queen you are, so long as we both shall live.”

  “Hear, hear.”

  “Whoa, ladies, I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” Madelyn glanced at Viv’s masseur, who reentered the room, rubbing lavender oil on his massive palms. She grinned. She’d had her massage already, and he seemed keen to get to work on Viv.

  “No, she’s all yours, Ryder.”

  Viv nestled her face back into the headrest as Ryder applied the oil to her back. Madelyn exhaled, at peace. Girl talk and face time with her former roommate and sorority partner in crime was hard to come by these days, and she sorely needed this.

  “I’m glad Chris signed the papers,” Viv muttered. “Men are like a full-time job, powdering bums. Some of ’em can act like assholes when push comes to shove, and they have to look deep into the marriage mirror. But at least he signed and did the decent thing. Hey, lighten up on the massage, could you, sweetie? You’re kneading too hard.”

  Ryder slowed his movements. “Sure thing. Let me know if this is too much.”

  “Yeah, thank God.” Madelyn gazed out the small skylight in the center of the ceiling. The sky was so clear and blue that it bordered on purple.

  “How’s Josh taking it?”

  “Good.” Madelyn lifted her hands and rubbed her palms, which were soft and smooth from the wax bath she’d put them in before her massage. Her son had flown out to college a few months before, sobered by the news of the divorce. “I think he’s taking it better than me, to be honest. He was sweet, as usual. Said he wants us both to be happy.”

  Viv hummed. “He’s such a great kid.”

  “He is.”

  “You know that’s down to what a kick-ass mom you are, right?”

  Madelyn touched her heart and beamed at her friend. “Thank you.”

  “I’m serious, Mads. You were there for every birthday, every milestone and you paved the way for him to believe in himself. No matter what happens from here, you can rest confident, knowing you set your kid up for life.”

  “Thanks, hon. Josh knows we both love him. He did say he was surprised we hadn’t divorced earlier.”

  “Mmm-hmm. The kids know.”

  “I tried to be tactful. I didn’t tell anyone about the divorce until after Josh had left for college. Then we sold the house and I moved out here.”

  “Good.”

  “It took me long enough.” A bamboo shelf caught her eye, where folded towel swans lay lined up in neat, tidy rows for guests. The guilt she’d bottled in the aftermath bubbled inside her, and she struggled not to cry, though the roughness in her throat gave her away. The shame of being weak for so long hadn’t hit her quite as hard until she’d left.

  “Ryder, can you give us a second?” Viv plucked her head out of the hole.

  Ryder nodded. “Take as much time as you need. This is your day. I’ll get a warm blanket for Miss Stacilli.”

  “Thank you. Mads, look at me.”

  She met Viv’s eyes.

  “You’re not weak.” Viv shook her head, adamant. “You were never weak. It takes courage to stay with someone when love fizzles out, to try to make it work when there are easier roads. You’re a fighter, Mads.”

  Madelyn extended her hand across the space between their tables and locked palms with Viv again. Her eyes stung. “I needed to hear that. Thank you.”

  “You know I’m speakin’ the truth. Good news is that you’re still sexy as hell, have an awesome kid with a good head on his shoulders and you’re rocking your own bookstore.”

  “There’s…something else I haven’t told you.” Madelyn withdrew her hand. “You know how I used to write?”

  “Yeah?” Viv’s eyebrows lowered.

  “Well, I’ve written a lot behind the scenes. The last few years I put together a book, and two months ago I submitted it to a publisher in New York.”

  “Oh my God.” Viv raised her head higher. “Mads, that’s incredible. Have you heard back?”

  “Not yet. But should be soon.”

  Viv grinned. “I’m so freaking proud of you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Keep me up-to-date on what’s going on. I want to know when you hear back.”

  “I will.”

  “How’s it going with the store?”

  “Good. I’m crunching on a deadline to get the store ready. It feels good to be working again and in charge of my own place.”

  Viv laid back down and bobbed her head. “Check you out. You’re evolving, girl. Watch your book get published and become a bestseller. That’d cap out leaving his ass in the dust. I couldn’t believe it when you told me you’d moved to Connecticut. Are you happy here?”

  “Oh yes.” Madelyn smiled. “And I’m not pacifying you. My days as a wishy-washy volunteer mom and housewife are behind me. I’m…at peace. I like New Haven’s pace and different rhythm. I mean… Don’t get me wrong. I have so much to do with the bookshop. I picked out paint last week, the floor needs to be varnished and I want to give the cabinets and bookshelves a face-lift. And there’s something going on with the pipes in the bathrooms. But fixer-upper aside, I can breathe again.”

  “Hmm. There’s something else though, isn’t there? I saw it when we signed in.”

  “Um…”

  “Oh, nah-uh. I know that look. What gives? You’ve got the glow.”

  Madelyn pressed the back of her hand to her cheek. Still cool. “Glow? Huh. Maybe it’s the facial.”

  Her friend laughed. “No. The glow. You know, like when you’ve had the greatest sex in the world. I saw you texting in the car before you got out, missy.”

  “Oh.” Madelyn blushed. Might as well tell Viv, if I tell anyone. “Well, I am sort of seeing someone. But it’s not what you think,” she added quickly when Viv’s face lit up. “Just to be clear, I’m in no hurry to dive back into love. I spent far too long with the wrong man, and my priority is making this shop a success. It’s more of a friendship. It happened more than a month after Chris and I signed the initial paperwork before the addendums—and it’s…emotional. We share comfort and support, and it’s uh”—she peeked to make sure Ryder hadn’t come back—“online,” she whispered, with the level of scandalous shame she reserved for deeply embarrassing confessions.

  “Get out. A
re you serious?”

  “Yes.”

  “You. In an online relationship.”

  Madelyn nodded. “Are you shocked?”

  “Girl, I’m mortified.” Viv caught her breath, as though offended. “No, pfft, whatever. Look… You do what makes you happy. You were invested as hell in your son and ignored by a man who didn’t deserve you for the last twenty years. You’ve got to shirk off the doubts swimming around in your big ole brain, take care of you and enjoy your life. But I do want to know all the juicy details.”

  “There are no juicy details. Sorry to disappoint you, but we tell each other about our days, give each other moral support and keep our identities private. He travels a lot, and we both like the anonymity.”

  Viv twisted around and sat up. She folded her arms. “What? So it’s platonic?”

  “Not…exactly. It’s cautious. He’s sometimes flirty, but respectful. Our relationship is more rooted in a deep connection and looking after each other emotionally.”

  “Oh, come on. I don’t believe that for a second. Men only go online for one thing.”

  “This man doesn’t.”

  Viv raised an eyebrow. “Mmm-hmm. How’d you meet this guy, again?”

  “By accident. He emailed me, thinking I was someone he worked with. But after a few emails and jokes back and forth, I realized he’s funny, charming and warm. We decided to keep in touch and keep it anonymous, so there’s no pressure on either of us.”

  “Okay, back up. When you say anonymity, you mean y’all don’t even know each other’s names?”

  “Nope. Don’t know who he is. No idea what he even looks like.”

  Viv blinked. “Huh.”

  “Huh, what?”

  “I’m not sure what to make of it. You sure this guy’s right in the head?”

  “Very much so. He’s sharp as a sword.”

  “And you haven’t met him?”