Sasha's Dilemma (The Dilemma Series)

by Smith, T. L

  “I’m not going because of you. I’m doing it for me. I need a fresh start and being here is a constant reminder of all the bad. A fresh start will be good for all of us.”

  “Okay, are you going to at least tell Josh you are going?”

  “Why would you even ask me that?”

  “Because you’re talking about moving on, and you can’t do that if you don’t settle everything before you go.”

  “Okay, well, anyway, I only came over to let you know I’ll continue to help pay my side of rent until you find someone else.”

  “Please, keep in contact, Sasha. I love you,” she says in a soft voice that almost makes me go over to her and cuddle her.

  “I love you too, Lola, and I will.”

  Lola hurt me so badly, but I don’t think she realises it. It’s always been me and her, yet her betrayal is too much for me to get my head around. I walk out of the apartment and decide I need to tell Josh. I walk into his tattoo shop and Pixie is at the counter.

  “You come to hurt my boy some more?” she sneers at me.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You know, rip his heart out. That’s what you’re good at, isn’t it?”

  “Pixie, I’m not in the mood for your games, especially when you have no idea what is going on. So, is Josh back there?”

  “Yes, he is, but I’m not sure if you should see him.”

  “Well, that’s his choice not yours, now, isn’t it?”

  Josh pokes his head out. I’m guessing he heard us talking.

  “Pixie, leave her alone. Sasha, you came.” He looks so hopeful, and it kills me that I’m about to hurt him.

  “Yes, but we need to talk.”

  “Okay, come to the back in a private room.”

  I follow him back and Pixie gives me a death stare the entire way. Once we’re in there, he gestures for me to sit, but I’m too nervous.

  “You came to talk, Sash,” he prompts.

  “Yeah, umm… I’m moving to Sydney. I am being transferred through work. I wanted to come say goodbye in person.”

  He is looking at me like I have a third eye, and then shakes his head really slowly.

  “You’re leaving me for good, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, Josh, I am.”

  “I’m so sorry. I thought… actually, I didn’t really think about anything other than keeping you with me.”

  “Josh, you’re a great man, and once you settle down with a woman, you will make her very happy. But that woman isn’t me. It was doomed from the beginning.”

  “You make me happy. All I want is you, Sasha. I can’t think about being with anyone else. You’re it for me, for as long as I live.”

  “I’m not, but eventually you will figure that out.”

  I get up and turn to leave, but Josh grabs me by the waist and swings me around. His lips slam on mine. I get lost in the kiss, but reality slowly returns and I remember why I came here in the first place and I push him off.

  “Please, don’t leave me, Sash.”

  “I’m sorry, Josh, but I need to do this for me.”

  I lean in, kiss him on the cheek, and walk out the door without looking back.

  Chapter 17

  Two years later

  I finish up my shift at the hospital and head home to get ready to go out with my cousins. They haven’t stopped annoying me all week to go out with them. They have been relentless and are driving me up the wall. I have four older cousins and they’re all brothers very close in age. They have decided to take me under their wing and making me do things I don’t want to do, like go out with them tonight.

  Usually, I’m the sober driver, but tonight they reckon is the night that I’ll get white girl wasted, as they like to put it. I love them to death, but they are a bit full on sometimes. Alan is the oldest, and I can always rely on him when I’m in a jiffy and need help. Then there are the twins, Kyle and Ryan, who are identical. They use that to their advantage when messing around with girls. Last, but not least, is the baby of the family, Brandon. He is the looker of the lot and has women crawling out of his pockets. But he is the one I’m closest to, probably because we are very close in age and can tell each other anything.

  Alan has agreed to drive tonight so I can drink. We’re going to the local bar near where they live. They told me they’re picking me up at nine. It’s already eight, so I’m trying to get home on time to get ready.

  Its nine o’clock and the boys walk in the house without knocking.

  “Haven’t you idiots heard of knocking?” I yell at them from the bathroom.

  “Oh, come on, cuz you gave Brandon a key. Of course we’re not going to knock.”

  “Bloody idiots. Brandon, I want my key back.”

  “No way, Sasha, that’s mine now. Who else is going to come and look after you when you’re sick?”

  I was sick three months into my stay in Sydney and Brandon had to come over and look after me. Little did I know that he went and got a copy of my key so he could check up on me whenever he pleased. Oh, and he does. I walk out into my lounge room and all the boys are relaxing in front of the TV, watching football.

  “Okay, I’m ready to go.”

  Kyle whistles at me. “Wahoo, princess! Who are you trying to impress?”

  “Sasha, go and change,” orders Brandon. “You’re not going out dressed like that. I don’t want to be your bodyguard for the night.”

  I swear he thinks he’s my brother, not my cousin. I’m tired of him treating me like something precious and breakable.

  I lean across and thump his arm with my bag. “You don’t have to be a douche!”

  Brandon winces as if I’ve truly hurt him, but kills it with a smile.

  “If I have to change, I’m putting my pyjamas back on and going to bed,” I add.

  “Okay, okay, let’s head out so we can meet up with the rest of the crew,” Alan says, trying to calm the situation like he always does. I walk over to him, link my arm through his, and turn around to poke my tongue out at Brandon.

  “I’ll throw you in the pool, Sasha. Don’t start.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” I say with an eye roll.

  We pull up to their local bar and it’s packed. The boys notice their friends sitting off near the dance floor, and Brandon and I go to the bar to get some drinks.

  “What’re you having?”

  “Just the usual, it’s pretty busy here tonight. Is there a reason it’s so busy?”

  “Yeah, one of our mates is performing. He has actually made it pretty big, but this was where he started out, so he is doing a favour for the owner to get more customers.”

  We head on back over to where the boys are sitting, and I know a few of their mates already by the few times we have gone out, but some I don’t recognise. Plus there are quite a few girls hanging around the table, more than usual.

  “Hey, Sash, come and take a seat over here,” Aaron yells across to me as I barge my way through the slang of women standing around. Brandon follows close behind me, and I see quite a few girls’ heads turn his way. Then they give me a death stare because his hand is on my back. I just smile at them because little do they know we are related. Sometimes, I think he uses me to have some peace and quiet around the craziness of the women.

  “You going to have some shots tonight?” Brandon asks me.

  “Of course she is. She’s going to get wasted, aren’t ya, Sash?” Ryan says over Brandon’s shoulder. I feel someone staring at me, and between the throngs of women, I see one very handsome man watching me. He has a strange expression on his face like he is trying to work me out. I turn my head away from his gaze. Ryan has set some shots in front of me and he’s been trying to get my attention to take them. I smile up at the boys and we all grab a shot and chug them back. Not long after the first one, there are two more placed in front of me.

  “Sasha, don’t try to keep up with the two douches.” I look up at Brandon and giggle.

  “It’s okay, Brand, I’ll be fine. I
don’t need a big brother tonight.”

  He nods his head and pulls me into a sideway hug with one arm. I rest my head on his shoulder and look up to see a pair of gorgeous eyes death staring me. I’m not sure why he is looking at me like I stole his cat, but I give him an equal look and turn my head away.

  Five minutes later, I’m being pulled up to the dance floor by all the boys. We’re having such a great time; I’m a little disappointed when the band stops and introduces the next band to come on.

  “This is our mate’s band we were telling you about, Sash. They rock,” Brandon tells me, but I can only nod my head in response. There is too much yelling and screaming for this band to be able to have a conversation. Plus all the commotion from the women rushing their way up to the front of the stage to be as close as possible.

  “Please welcome our local superstars the Walking Warriors,” the announcer says. I turn my head to the stage to have a look. The band consists of four members. The one who takes his place behind the drums is very big and scary looking with his shaved, tattooed head. Then there are two with the pretty rocker boy look; they are very attractive. But it’s the lead singer who compels my attention. He is stunning with his milk chocolate skin. He looks so good I could eat him, but it’s his eyes that hold me captive. I realise he was the man staring at me earlier. I can understand why he had all those women hanging off him and why every woman in here has tried to climb to the front of the stage to get near him. He is a walking, scrumptious sex machine.

  The band starts playing and they’re really good, but as soon as his voice reaches my ears, I feel like I’m melting. It’s so hypnotic. I’ve been so engrossed in what he has been singing, I haven’t heard a word that Brandon has said to me. I look at him and realise he must have been watching my expression as I stared at the lead singer.

  “His name is Braxton,” he tells me. I just nod my head and focus back up to the stage. Halfway through their set, I make my way back to the table with the boys and have a few more drinks.

  Near the end of the night, I can feel the alcohol and I’m definitely on my way to being very drunk. I feel the chair in the booth dip beside me. I turn around and I’m met with the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen. I’m captivated once again and he’s staring back at me. His eyes are a mixture of light green and grey. My eyes shift to his mouth. He has a gorgeous smile and I can feel myself getting wet just from looking at him.

  “Did you enjoy the show?” he whispers in my ear so close I can feel his hot breath on my neck, sending shivers all through me. I can’t form words so I just nod my head. Brandon takes the seat across from us and starts talking to Braxton. I’m listening to their conversation, but I’m mainly watching the way his lips move when he talks.

  I don’t notice they’re talking to me until I spot the silence. I catch Braxton smirking at me. I turn to Brandon and see he is trying to hold back a laugh. I give him my best ‘what’ look. He just shrugs his shoulders.

  “So, Brandon, you going to introduce me to your girlfriend?” Braxton asks, looking at me. As soon as he says girlfriend to Brandon, I burst out laughing. I turn to look at Brandon because I know he will have a scowl on his face. He hates when people mistake us a couple, and sure enough, he is scowling.

  “No, no, Sasha here is my cousin,” he says straight away. I turn to look at Braxton’s reaction and he automatically smiles.

  “Well, hello there, Sasha. I’m Brax,” he says while sticking his hand out for me to shake. I grab his hand and instantly feel a reaction. Quickly, I pull my hand away in case he notices. Brandon asks me if I want another drink, and then leaves to go get us a round. So I’m left sitting in the booth with Brax. I start fidgeting because I’m not sure if he wants to talk to me or he is just here to talk to Brandon.

  “Didn’t you like my music?” I hear him whisper near my ear again. I fling my head around; he’s sitting so close to me, our noses are nearly touching.

  I move back a little and answer him. “I loved it. You are very good up there,” I say pointing toward the stage.

  “So, you hang out with your cousins a lot?”

  “Yes and no. On the weekends, they don’t really give me a choice unless I’m working.”

  “You’re not from here, are you?”

  “No, I’m from Brisbane,” I tell him, giving him my full attention.

  “What made you move to Sydney?”

  I don’t usually like answering that question. I usually just give them a basic answer, but I feel like I want to tell him why I ran away. I want to tell him how my sister hurt me. How our relationship is better now, but not as close as it used to be. I want to explain that the man I thought I was falling in love with broke my heart, and I haven’t seen or heard from in over two years, but I’ve recently learned he has just opened a tattoo shop in my local area. I want to tell Brax that all I want to do is drive by the tattoo parlour and to catch a glimpse of Josh to see if he is what my imagination has built him to be. But I can’t share any of that with him because that’s a bit too much information for someone I just met.

  “I got transferred for work,” I end up telling him, but I can see the question behind his eyes.

  “Well, I’m in town for a while if you would like to maybe have dinner with me sometime, if you’re free?”

  “Yeah, sure, that would be nice.” I smile up at him just as Brandon comes back to the table and hands us our drinks.

  “Sash, we’re gonna have to get going after this. It’s getting late and Alan has to go help Dad out at the shop in the morning,” Brandon says to me. I nod my head, but he doesn’t see because he’s too busy looking between me and Brax trying to figure out what he has missed. Eventually, he gives up and takes up a conversation with Brax again.

  Chapter 18

  I wake up feeling better than I thought I would have considering how much I drank last night. After Brax asked me out, he talked to Brandon and the boys for a while, but we had to leave not long after. He walked with us to the car and asked for my number, while the twins were whistling at us like idiots.

  He told me he would contact me soon and gave me a kiss on the cheek before walking back inside. This left me with four overprotective men, all having different opinions on Brax. The twins were all for it and said it would be awesome having a rock star in the family. Alan was a bit more cautious and didn’t think it was smart to get involved with someone I’ll hardly see. He was concerned I would end up getting hurt again. But it was Brandon’s opinion that mattered the most to me because he knows Brax best as they are the same age and went to school together.

  He reassured me Brax is a nice guy, but warned I shouldn’t fall in love with a rock star because it would never work out since I have no interest in fame and don’t even like my picture taken at the best of times.

  I leisurely start my day. I’ve decided all I’m doing today is pigging out and reading on my Kindle all day. By lunchtime, my tummy is grumbling. I’ve been so engrossed in the book I’m reading; I have forgotten to eat. I decide to head down to the local shop. I grab up my purse and check my phone before I head out.

  I have a few texts from Lola asking how my week has been. She says she misses me and can’t wait to come and visit. She is trying really hard, but it’s going to take a lot to repair our relationship. There’s also a text from Brandon asking if I pulled up all right from last night, and the last one is from an unknown number.

  Unknown:

  Hi Sasha, was wondering

  if you’re free for dinner

  tonight. Brax

  I didn’t think he was serious about dinner, and I really didn’t think it was going to be so soon, but I have a massive smile on my face.

  Me:

  Yes, what time?

  And where?

  Unknown:

  It’s a surprise. I’ll pick

  you up at 6 

  I text him back my address, and then reply to my sister and Brandon. I head out the door to pick up something to eat.


  I decide to do a little shopping while I am out to lunch. By the time I get home, it’s time to get ready. I’m going to wear a pair of skinny jeans, a flowy light pink top, and a pair of black high-heeled boots, since I’m not sure where he is taking me. There is a knock at the door at exactly six. When I open it, it’s obvious last night the dark bar didn’t do him justice. Now I see him in the light, he is yummier than I thought and I really want to eat him up.

  “Sasha, you look stunning,” he says and hands me a bunch of pink roses.

  “Thanks, Brax, they’re gorgeous,” I say and lean in to kiss him on the cheek. I invite him in while I go put the roses in water. When I come back out, I see him staring at my photos. He looks up at me when he hears me come in.

  “Is this your sister? You have a lot of photos together.”

  “Yes, that’s Lola.”

  “Does she live in Sydney too, or is it just you?”

  “No, I moved here near the end of my studies and she stayed in Brisbane,” I tell him. I grab my bag and we head out to his car. It’s a very gorgeous to match the owner. My thoughts are consumed with wondering if he would let me drive it. This car is my dream car a GTS holden. Hopefully, I will eventually get one. He sees me staring and asks me if I like it.

  I laugh at him. “Are you joking? I love it. I think I might just date your car,” I say, only half-teasing.

  “Well, I’m not really the sharing type,” he says, looking up at me. He holds my gaze for what feels like minutes, but was probably only a few seconds. Finally looking away, he opens the passenger’s door for me to get in.

  We pull up to a marina and I follow him past some beautiful boats. We’re heading toward a gorgeous one. It’s the kind you see in the movies with a spa, waiters, and top deck. The waiter takes us to our seats and tells us our first course will arrive shortly.

  “I hope you don’t mind, but I have already prepared the menu for tonight. I hope you like it.”