2:24 a.m.
No way! I’ve only been asleep for three hours?
I counted to ten in my head and then made the mad dash, which consequently, was more like a slow, awkward stumble. Using the glow of my cell phone light, I searched for my duffle. The cold hit me like an arctic wave the second my foot hit the floor of the tent.
My breathing came only in short, rapid gasps as I fumbled with the zipper on my luggage. Each time I pulled at it, it slipped through my fingers. I couldn’t grip.
I tried again.
This time I was able to move it several more inches before it slipped out for a second time.
“Dang it!”
My body shook with spasms now. My hands were aching painfully and my eyes felt as if the air was slicing them open each time I blinked.
“Tori...are you okay?”
My head snapped up in attention. Darkness consumed all space around me, but I knew it was Kai’s voice I had heard. He was outside my tent door.
“Kai?” My teeth were chattering so hard I wasn’t sure if he would hear me.
He unzipped the door and held his lantern up to my face. His eyes narrowed.
“You’re freezing,” Kai said.
He went over to my sleeping bag and held the lantern up to it, throwing his head back in aggravation.
“What’s...what’s...wrong?” I chattered.
“This bag is not for camping, Tori. It’s only rated down to 50 degrees! That’s barely good enough for indoor sleeping. Go get in my tent,” he said.
“But...but I-”
“Tori, do you want to stand here and freeze, or do you want to get warm?”
His voice was no longer soft, but tense, and maybe even a little annoyed. He grabbed my pillow and “indoor” sleeping bag and in a second we were in his tent. I shivered as I watched him zip our two bags together, laying them down on the floor mat.
“Get in,” he said.
I followed orders immediately. I was too cold to think, let alone argue. I felt him curl up behind me, putting his arm around my waist as he pulled the sleeping bag up past my shoulders. A good five minutes passed before my body had calmed enough to speak without shuddering.
“Why were you awake?” I asked.
“It was my turn to stoke the fire. Why didn’t you come find me?” he countered gruffly.
“I thought if I put more clothes on I’d be fine,” I said.
“And what? Stand in your tent without a coat while you got dressed in thirty degree weather?”
Was he angry at me?
Had my stupidity caused him to compromise by having me in here with him? Is that why he’s upset?
“I...I’m sorry for putting you in this position. I didn’t mean to.”
I felt like a child in time-out, only it was my boyfriend who was punishing me—not my parents. How embarrassing.
He signed heavily. His arm moved from my waist to brush back the hair off of my face and tuck it behind my ear. Even though he was still lying behind me, I could picture his eyes, his mouth, and his rumpled hair. The thought caused my heart to pound.
“I’m not upset about that, Pele. I would never be upset with you for needing help. I just don’t like to think about you hurting or in pain—especially when I can do something about it. You have to stop thinking of yourself as some kind of burden when just the opposite is true,” he said. “Besides, we have about ten inches of clothing between the two of us—I feel pretty confident that nothing inappropriate will happen in here tonight, don’t you?”
At the mention of the many layers of clothing we both had on, I started to giggle. I tried to stifle my laugh in the sleeve of my jacket, but that only reminded me again of how ridiculous this night had become. Of all the times I had pictured being alone with Kai, this vision of romance was definitely not among them. He started in too, and soon we were a mixture of both laughing and shh-ing.
Finally though, through some sort of miraculous intervention, we managed to regain control of our hysteria.
“Goodnight, Tori.”
“Goodnight, Kai.”
Within minutes of settling I was asleep, dreaming of the warmth that had not only surrounded my body, but my heart as well.
**********
The clanging of the pot caused me to sit up with a start. Kai put his arm back around me, pulling me down to his side again.
“Kai...Kai...its breakfast time. I need to get out of here before anyone thinks...well, thinks that something else went on in here last night,” I said, whispering as softly as I could.
His eyes barely opened and he shook his head with a groan. I wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean, so I moved his arm aside and crawled out of the sleeping bag. I straightened my coat and untwisted my sweats to be centered on my waist.
Good golly, what must I look like right now?
I touched my hair briefly, feeling the work of braided knots beneath my fingers. I grimaced. I needed to locate a mirror soon, if just for the sake of my dignity alone.
Carefully, I unzipped Kai’s tent door. Putting one socked foot out onto the cold, hard ground at a time, I shivered. I squatted down as I re-zipped it, hoping to duck into my own tent unnoticed.
“Good Morning, Tori,” Briggs said from some unknown location behind me.
I cringed, frozen in place with my eyes closed. Of all the moments to have the super-power of invisibility, this would be it! Slowly I turned to face him.
“Hi...this isn’t what it appears to be,” I said.
Briggs’ smile could have been pictured in the Guinness Book of World Records—no doubt. My face flamed, burning hotter by the second. Beyond him I could see everyone, and I was fairly certain that everyone could see me.
I had two choices in that moment: the walk of shame to get breakfast and sit with Kai’s friends, or to duck into my tent and only come out after Kai awoke from his coma. I chose the second option, proving my cowardice. I had barely made it to the door when Briggs grabbed my arm, pulling me back with a gentle yank.
“Oh come on, we know nothing happened. Let me guess...you were freezing because you didn’t prepare for arctic camping which then led to bunking-up with this punk in the middle of the night?”
Briggs crossed his arms over his chest, gesturing toward Kai’s tent with a quick jerk of his head.
I nodded, feeling the gaze of everyone on Briggs’ back as he spoke.
“Okay, well that’s settled then. No scarlet letter’s gonna be handed out around these parts. Go grab your shoes and let’s get you some breakfast, okay? The least we can do is feed you after a night like that,” Briggs said, amused.
With my face still flushed, I grabbed my Nikes from just inside my tent. I tried in vain to smooth out my hair as we walked over to the breakfast table.
Mrs. Julie was the first to speak to me.
“It was a cold night, wasn’t it dear?” She handed me a plate full of steaming pancakes. My stomach growled in response.
“Yes, thank you Mrs. Julie,” I said.
I sat and stared at the food, feeling the awkward eyes of the world on my face. It was in that moment though, that I heard Kai come out of the tent. He looked around a bit dazed and then found me, walking over to sit at my side.
“Good morning...how did you sleep?” he asked.
I closed my eyes and waited for the laughter. I knew it would be led by no one other than Briggs himself. Sure enough, I was right. Not even a full second later, every person around the fire was in hysterics, looking at Kai’s unknowing face.
“What...what did I miss?” Kai asked. His sweet, innocent face only caused more laughter to ensue.
I laughed too, feeling just a tad guilty that Kai hadn’t caught on to the fact that our arctic rendezvous was no longer a secret.
He finally smiled in understanding, and then helped himself to breakfast, completely unabashed.
**********
Hiking was the big event of the day. I dressed in jeans and a long-sleeve shirt, tying a
zip-up hoodie around my waist. I never wanted to be caught unprepared in the cold again—ever.
It took me several minutes to brush my hair out before eventually pulling it into a loose braid. I didn’t want it falling in my face during the hike. I’d also managed to wash my face and brush my teeth with some drinking water. All of that resulted in a much fresher, much happier, Tori.
I followed Kai and Briggs up the trail.
The others were behind us, walking at a tad slower pace. The three guys who were joining us were to arrive in just about an hour, but they knew where to find us.
The largest of the hills had a trail that seemed to zigzag its way to the top. I was grateful we wouldn’t be climbing on our hands and knees, though I’m sure the guys would have been up for it.
The further we walked, the more difficult the trail became, and the steeper the cliff’s edge. Kai didn’t seem to care about heights, but I stayed clear of that side of the path altogether. The boys both wore a water bag on their back. About an hour into our trek, I was grateful that Kai had planned ahead in that way, I had taken many sips from his. I had also pulled on my sweatshirt a while back. It was surprising how much cooler it was near the top than down at the lake.
The scenery was breathtaking. From this vantage point I could see a large stretch of forest below. There was so much green, so much natural beauty. I hadn’t ever really cared about outdoor living much, but since moving back to Texas, I’d found myself drawn to nature. Somehow being near land, trees, lakes and hills caused me to feel more alive.
“I’m going to go back and check on the rest of the group. I don’t see them behind us anymore,” Briggs said.
“Do you want us to wait for you?” Kai asked.
“No, go on ahead. I’ll catch up.”
Briggs turned to jog back down the trail as Kai took my hand. We kept our pace for awhile more.
“Are you glad you came?” Kai asked.
“Yes, apart from our sleeping scandal, it’s been really great,” I said.
“Well, don’t tell anyone…but I kinda liked our sleeping scandal,” he said, winking at me when I caught his eye.
A few more steps and I felt something sharp and uncomfortable.
“Ow, I think I have a rock in my shoe,” I said.
“Let’s take a breather, then. I can use a water break myself.”
I found a flat rock to sit on near a large tree by the path’s edge. I worked quickly to untie my shoe and dump out the pebble, wanting to get away from the steep cliff side as soon as possible. Kai stood near me, drinking his water. I glanced up at him once as I hurriedly tied my laces. He was swatting his hand in the air in front of him before throwing his water bag back over his shoulder.
As I stood, my world began to crumble…in slow motion.
“Kai?”
He was stumbling—arms out—fighting to regain his balance. I reached for him, trying to steady his frightening movements and hold him back from the edge, but his body collapsed. In less than a second he was gone.
His body barreled down the hillside at a rate that seemed impossible. I screamed his name over and over before forcing myself to the same fate.
I slid on my backside feet first, trying to dodge the branches and tree stumps as they came at me. There were hidden rocks and roots that I couldn’t see under the brush, but that didn’t stop them from making contact with my body as I passed over them. I knew I could only be a help to Kai if I survived this fall—I had to survive.
Even with careful maneuvering, the burn of my skin and the tearing of my flesh were unmistakable.
It didn’t matter though, nothing mattered but finding Kai.
I passed yet another large tree during what felt like a never-ending plummet-to-death. I had no way to gauge how far we had traveled down the side of the cliff, but once I finally came to a stop, my eyes spotted something bright in the distance. There, next to the base of a large tree, I could see his orange sweatshirt—or at least a small part of it.
I frantically flung myself around each obstacle in between us, tripping several times as I tried to get to him. Nothing I did seemed fast enough. I dropped down to my knees the second he was within my reach, carefully rolling him onto his back to check his breathing. It was there—but very labored. I looked him over, trying to figure out what had happened.
A cold calm came over me, sharpening my senses.
A bee.
He’s been stung.
I suddenly remembered how he had swatted his hand in the air just seconds before he stumbled. I checked his exposed skin for a mark.
Hands? No. Face? No. Neck? Yes.
A panic ripped through me.
The neck was one of the worst places to be stung for a person with a severe allergy to bee stings. He was in anaphylactic shock; I was a hundred percent certain of that. His neck and lips had already begun to swell, and his breathing sounded more labored with each passing second.
“Please, please, please, have your EpiPen on you Kai.”
Why didn’t I ask him where he kept it when he told me about his allergy?
I started at his ankles patting him carefully in an upward motion. Working my way up his legs I hoped to find it in a front pocket, no such luck. I felt inside the pocket of his sweatshirt near his waist—not there either. My stomach lurched then, nausea hitting me hard as the reality of what this missing Pen would mean for him—for us.
Is it in a back pocket?
I pulled his right arm out straight and then bent his left leg, rolling him over with ease the way I did in the hospital when someone outweighed me.
Right back pocket? No. Left back pocket? Yes!
There wasn’t time to rejoice, every second was critical. I rolled Kai back over and jabbed the first of two EpiPen injections into his right outer thigh. I was careful to inject all the fluid inside it.
There was no immediate change in his breathing. I checked his pulse again—way too fast. I waited the five minutes necessary by counting in my head, and then gave him the second dose.
It was then he took a deep breath.
I no longer heard the labored wheeze of seconds earlier. For a moment I was elated.
I went to his head then, kneeling over the top of his. A large bump on the side of his temple indicated that he had hit something hard on his way down. I pulled off my sweatshirt and braced it around his neck, trying to keep him in alignment as best I could.
He was fortunate to have been wearing long pants. They had most likely protected his legs from any major cuts and gashes during his fall. I scanned the rest of his body. Noting only bruises and scrapes on his hands and face, I found no other trauma I could treat.
He just needed to wake up.
I nudged and prodded him trying to get a response, patting his cheeks with my hands, but he didn’t stir.
Hopelessness ripped through my heart like a rogue bullet, forcing it’s shrapnel to explode in every cell of my body. I screamed out in anguish, the pain and fear overwhelming me as my echo reverberated through the silence. I was all alone; no one had heard my cry for help.
Kai could be dying, and I could do nothing more for him.
My body ached and burned, thawing itself after its adrenaline rush down the hill. I stroked Kai’s forehead gently, ignoring the painful throbbing of my own body. Wishing he would open his eyes and know what to do, I continued to stare at him.
Nothing changed.
I thought briefly about going for help, but I couldn’t leave Kai, not like this. I called out over and over, until my voice grew hoarse. There was no reply. Watching the slow rise and fall of Kai’s chest, I finally bowed my head.
For the first time in over a year and a half, I prayed.
“I know we aren’t close, but you know Kai. He believes in you…and he needs help right now. Please help him! Help us get out of here so he can get back to safety. Please…just let him wake up.” I looked again at Kai and whispered, “Just let him wake up.”
With my head still b
owed over Kai’s face, I felt a sensation that was almost as unique to me as prayer: hot, streaming, tears. I couldn’t stop them. They rolled down my face and picked up speed as they hit Kai’s forehead.
I sobbed over this man who had become closer to me than anyone ever had. I couldn’t lose him. I needed him. I loved him.
Please don’t take Kai; please don’t take him away from me.
I am with you.
My tears kept falling as I focused on that voice inside me. I put every shred of energy I had into one word now: hope. There was nothing else. I could either put my hope in a God I wasn’t sure existed…or I could put it in myself.
I was all out of ideas.
I wiped Kai’s forehead dry, though my tears still fell. Running my fingers through his hair, I began to sing, quietly.
“Amazing Grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I am found
Was blind, but now I see”
I sang it again and again.
On the fourth time through, I saw his eyelids start to flutter.
“Kai? Kai, can you hear me?” I asked.
“Wh…What happened?” he mumbled.
“You’re okay. You were stung by a bee. I found your EpiPen...and you’re going to be okay,” I said, tears streaming down my face.
“You’re....crying?” he asked, eyebrows narrowing slightly.
“Yes,” I laughed nervously. “Congratulations...after a year and a half of having no tears to cry, you brought them back to me.”
I leaned down and kissed his forehead. He smiled for just a second before closing his eyes again.
Please let someone find us soon!
I called out again for help, but still heard nothing in reply. If I had to guess we’d already been down here for close to an hour. I hoped someone would figure out we were missing sooner or later.
I hoped for sooner.
Please Briggs, please notice we’re gone.
Kai’s eyes opened again after some time had passed—how much time? I had no clue. He was much more alert now, and his breathing was steady and strong.
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