I took it, not quite sure how to respond. I‘d never been sent home early, not even on the days that had been slower than molasses. I nodded, thanking her. She winked at me before turning to leave.
I stood in front of Kai, his sad eyes resting on my face.
“Please let me drive you home, Tori. I can’t—I need to know you’ll get there safely,” he said.
I couldn’t argue with him, not after a day like this, not after the things he had witnessed. Together we walked through the parking lot, careful to step only on dry pavement. It hurt to be so close to him again, to smell him, to feel him. We didn’t speak on the drive; it was enough just to be together.
It was a little after eight when he parked my car in front of Stacie’s house, the lights from the inside reflecting in the driveway.
I turned to him, recognizing his despair. I bit my lip, fighting back the question I had been rolling over in my mind.
Be a friend.
“Please come inside, Kai. Let me make you some coffee. I’m sure Jack and Stacie would love to see you, too,” I said.
A hint of a smile began to spread across his face as he pondered my words.
“I’d like that, thank you.”
THIRTY-FOUR
Kai showered and changed into an extra pair of workout pants and a t-shirt that Jack had loaned him. When he was finished, I did the same. I was convinced that clean had never felt so nice or smelled so good.
Jack handed me a cup of coffee as I joined Kai on the couch, tucking my legs underneath me. I was careful to keep my distance. Stacie lay across Jack’s lap after he sat down, pulling an afghan over her legs and propping her feet up on a stack of pillows.
“So, what are the family bets on delivery day?” Kai asked, life returning to his voice.
Stacie smiled casually, rubbing her very round abdomen.
“Hmm...We don’t really have any bets, but now I’m wishing we did. I could have started a college fund that way,” Stacie said.
Kai laughed, making me smile.
“Let’s see...you’re about thirty-six weeks?” Kai asked.
“That’s right,” she said, impressed by his memory.
“I say you deliver early, maybe around week thirty-eight,” Kai said.
“Oh I could just kiss you for saying that! All the old ladies love to tell me their horror stories of carrying way past their due dates, and I’m telling ya...I’m about done with this whole thing!”
We all had a good laugh. I set my coffee mug down on a coaster near me.
“I’ll tell you what, any day after tomorrow is fine by me,” she said.
“What’s tomorrow?” Kai asked.
“Stacie’s baby shower,” Jack and I said in unison.
I jumped up with a sudden panic, leaping to my feet.
“What on earth?” Stacie said.
Kai stood too, waiting for me to articulate my sudden spastic attack.
“The cupcakes! I have four dozen cupcakes to start and icing to make before we leave at 10am! I totally spaced it,” I said, biting my lip.
“Just go buy some, who really cares anyway?” Jack asked.
Stacie and I looked at him with horror. We both knew what would happen if I showed up bearing store-bought cupcakes to a catered event my mother was hosting. It was simply out of the question, especially since I was currently working toward restoring that particular relationship.
“I’ll help you,” Kai said.
Everyone stopped and looked at Kai, including Jack, who smirked at the suggestion. I stared at him, contemplating his offer. I weighed the risk/reward of a late night spent with him in my sister’s kitchen, baking with me. It was quite possibly more idiotic than Jack’s comment only a moment earlier.
But what were my options really?
I didn’t let myself think of any. I agreed, and minutes later I was taking out the supplies and laying them on the counter top. Jack stopped in the doorway, leaning his body against one side of it.
“How were you planning on getting home?” Jack asked Kai.
“Hmm...Well, Briggs said he’d pick me up, but I better let him know it’s going to be later than I thought. I forgot I didn’t have my truck here,” Kai said.
“Well, why don’t you just stay over? The roads are only going to re-freeze tonight and I have to take off in the morning anyway. I can just drop you at home. Stacie’s already laid out a pillow and blanket for you on the sofa bed,” Jack said.
Kai looked at me, unwilling to answer such a question without my approval. I swallowed hard, trying to calm my nerves as both men waited for me to speak.
“That’s fine with me,” I lied.
“Great, I’ll plan on leaving here around eight, will that work for you?” Jack asked him.
“Sure, that’s sounds great. Thanks, Jack.”
For the next hour we mixed and measured, turning Stacie’s immaculate kitchen into a floury mess. Kai was a great help, always reaching for the next ingredient to add before I asked for it. As he put the last pan in the oven, I started on the icing.
I felt myself growing delirious in the late-night hour. I laughed at silly concepts, depicting the names and usages of all the herbs and spices Stacie had stacked in her pantry. Kai was no better. After the stress-filled day we had shared—each in our own way—laughter had proven the best remedy.
“I think we should add this to a portion of that icing, make it like a secret taste test. The winner can get a prize or something if she guesses it right,” Kai said, holding up a small jar of turmeric.
I laughed till my eyes watered. Batting his hand away as he hovered dangerously close to my perfect vanilla icing, I was a crying mess of giggles.
“The only prize for that poor winner would be a barf bag, Kai. That would be so disgusting!”
He laughed too, pulling himself up to sit on the counter near my mixer. His face grew serious as he watched me add the pink food coloring drops to the mix. I glanced up only once and then determined to keep my eyes away from his face. My late-night filter remained uncensored, however.
“This is so odd,” I said.
“What is?”
“Baking with you,” I said, “I only started all this to get over you.”
He stopped the whisk in my hand, careful not to touch my skin.
“And how did that work out?” he asked.
“You already know how it worked out, Kai.”
“No, I only know how I hope it will work out, Tori...that’s all.” He hopped off the counter and walked toward the window.
I leaned onto the counter and took a deep breath, trying to slow my heart rate.
This was a bad idea.
I whisked for a minute more, alone in the kitchen.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard his excited whisper break through the silence.
“Tori come here! Quick!”
I dropped the whisk in the sink and hurried to his side. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out the front door. My mouth gaped open as I felt the large soft flakes hit my hair and face. My t-shirt was certainly not the best attire for this sub-freezing event, but for once I didn’t care about the cold. The snow was breathtaking. Ice was fairly commonplace for winters in Dallas, but snow was a rarity, one that was met with the excitement of many.
Kai’s smile was huge as he held out his hand to catch the snowflakes. I shivered, laughing at the sight of this large Samoan man catching snow in Dallas, Texas.
“I’ve only seen snow a few times. In Samoa there was nothing to compare it to...I couldn’t even understand the concept, until I felt it for the first time,” he said, joy exuding from him.
I smiled, as I shivered harder. He looked at me, a realization coming over him.
“I had nothing to compare love to either, before you, before I felt it for the first time,” he said.
He scattered the snow in his hand, wiping the remaining moisture onto his pants. I stared at him. I knew he wanted to kiss me. I knew, because I wanted to kiss him, too. The moment was t
oo beautiful to ignore.
But instead, he took my hand and led me back inside, grabbing the afghan from the chair and wrapping it around my shoulders.
“I’ll clean up...you should head to bed,” he said.
“But you’ve had an even longer day than I-”
“No. Please, let me do this. Go get some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”
With that, our evening had come to an end. I crept up the stairs feeling a mix of relief and disappointment. I snuggled into bed, thinking of him downstairs.
The picture of Kai holding snow in his palm was the last thought I had before drifting off to sleep.
**********
The morning brought with it a whirlwind of busy. I frosted cupcakes and arranged them on two large serving platters. Due to the frosting I couldn’t wrap them. I prayed they would survive the drive, and not end up a mess of pink frosting and fuzzy floor mats. Each tray held twenty-four cupcakes.
Jack had offered us the use of his Jeep. It had more room in the back to carry the cupcakes and shower gifts Stacie would be receiving. It would also have much better traction for ice.
The only disadvantage was it was parked out front on the street, while Stacie’s car would have meant a warm and toasty walk into the garage.
Both Jack and Kai were concerned about letting us drive to our parent’s house with the re-freeze last night. They went over the road reports in detail, researching the best route online with the department of transportation. We had to promise to stick to their approved route—we both gave our girl scout’s honor.
The city had been working overnight to de-ice the well-traveled roads and highways to avoid further catastrophes, like the one yesterday. I would be driving since Stacie was too round to fit behind the wheel comfortably.
“So, where are you off to today while your wife is being pampered in pink?” I asked Jack who was drinking a cup of coffee.
“I’m gonna head to Fort Worth, to a pro ice hockey game. An old college buddy has a brother in the league. He gave us free tickets. There’s some Guinness World Record attempt going on before the game starts, too. Should be fun,” Jack said.
“What kind of world record attempt is it?” I asked, pulling my tall boot on by the door, noticing Kai’s eyes on me.
“To break the world’s longest conga line on an ice rink,” he said.
Kai and I busted up laughing. Only Jack would find this so entertaining.
“And you think that’s more fun than eating cupcakes and playing baby shower games?” I asked.
Jack rolled his eyes at me, tipping his coffee cup toward the ceiling as he emptied it.
“Are you ready to go?” Jack asked Kai.
“I’m ready to get into my own clothes, yes,” Kai laughed, looking down at his borrowed wardrobe.
Kai blocked Jack’s friendly jab to the gut and they both headed toward the garage door at the back of the kitchen. As Jack went into the garage, Kai stayed behind.
“I had a really good time last night, Tori. Thank you for being a friend. I really needed one,” Kai said.
He was so handsome, even in Jack’s borrowed clothes. His hair was still ruffled from sleep, making him more adorable than ever. I wished it was possible to only be his friend, but I knew better.
“Thanks for your help with the cupcakes, you saved my bacon,” I said.
He smiled wide, “I’d save your bacon any day of the week, Victoria Sales. Have fun with your sister today. Call if you need anything and please drive carefully.”
I nodded, refraining from rolling my eyes, "I will, enjoy your day off.”
A minute after Kai closed the door, Jack was back with a pile of mail in his arms.
“Stacie’s been hoarding mail in her car again. I keep telling her that I can’t pay the bills if I don’t know we have them...I don’t think she believes me,” he laughed, shaking his head. He threw the pile on the counter before leaving again.
I made a pot of oatmeal, being sure to make enough for Stacie, too. It was a new obsession of hers, although I wasn’t sure if it was the brown sugar or the oatmeal that was her latest craving. I poured the last of the coffee and sat on the bar stool at the counter. A large yellow packet caught my eye. Within the mix of envelopes that Jack had brought inside was the packet I had been waiting for.
I lifted it from the pile, opening the tab in the back and sliding out the contents. An acceptance letter was on top. I scanned it over, suddenly feeling my appetite disappear. I dropped my spoon back into my bowl, pushing it aside to read through the pages.
I had met all the criteria. All there was left to do was submit my completed immunization record with the required vaccines and a phone interview. I was so engrossed in the reading that I didn’t hear Stacie enter the kitchen.
“Whatcha reading over there?” Stacie asked, walking toward her bowl of oatmeal.
A cold sensation crept over me. I felt ill. I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t want to tell the truth either, not today. I gathered the papers up quickly, pushing my stool out as I stood.
“Oh...nothing much,” I said.
Stacie’s face was inquisitive; she looked from the stack of papers in my hand to my face and back. She was not a skeptical person by nature, but my face must have given something away. Without taking her eyes from me, she snatched the large empty envelope from the counter, reading the words aloud.
“Consider Africa—a nursing exchange program.”
I swallowed hard. Caught like a deer in headlights I was frozen, waiting for impact.
Her face grew dark, shadowing her delicate features. She lay the envelope back down and picked up her bowl, walking into the living room. I was suddenly nauseous. There was no way out, no excuse that could fix this. I took a deep breath and walked into the room.
She sat staring into her bowl, taking slow bites.
“I was going to tell you, Stace. I just didn’t want to distract from the baby,” I said, realizing how stupid it sounded the instant I spoke it aloud.
She looked from her bowl to my face. Her eyes were hard.
“Don’t. Don’t you use my baby as an excuse, Tori.” She set down her bowl with a clank “When? When are you leaving this time?”
Her sharp tone was startling. I hesitated to answer her. This conversation was quickly plummeting from bad to worse.
“In five weeks,” I said quietly.
“Five weeks? You are moving to Africa in five weeks and I am just now hearing about it? How long were you planning on keeping this a secret, Tori? Was I just going to wake up one day and you’d be gone, halfway around the world?”
“No. I wasn’t sure when I was going to tell you exactly, but I was going to tell you. I just got accepted. It wasn’t even for sure until I got this today,” I said, raising the paperwork slowly.
She shook her head. “I thought we were past this...I thought we had finally gotten to a place where we didn’t hide secrets from each other, where you felt you could be honest with me. I guess the joke’s on me, huh?” Stacie stood, bracing her back with her hands to counter the weight of her belly.
“I...I’m sorry-”
“You’re always sorry, but nothing ever changes! Don’t you care about your niece, or are you too selfish to realize that other people might actually want you around?”
I closed my eyes. That hurt.
“It’s only for a year,” I said.
She looked at me again, this time with sadness. As she walked past me into the kitchen I heard her say, “Perfect, that’s just perfect.”
Stacie milled around the house for the next hour, saying nothing. Picking up pillows and dusting off tables, she was in nesting-mode, again—angry nesting mode. I went upstairs to grab my purse, throwing my phone inside it. I heard something crinkle in the bottom of it.
The letter.
I’ll do it after this stupid shower.
Then I’ll have nothing left hanging over my head.
But even as I thought it, I knew that wasn�
��t the truth. I’d have plenty left hanging over my head.
I walked back into the kitchen seeing only one tray of cupcakes on the counter.
Weren’t both right here a minute ago?
I did a quick glance around the room, thinking I was losing my mind. Jack’s keys were missing from the counter, too.
Stacie must have taken one to Jack’s jeep already.
I grabbed the second tray and slowly guided the front door open with my foot, careful not to drop a single frosted treat. I walked slowly down the sidewalk, inching my feet along the slick cement that was covered with a light dusting of snow. It was hard to see over the top of my tray, but as I neared Jack’s Jeep I realized it wasn’t running, nor was Stacie inside it. I opened my mouth to call her name, but saw something strange out of the corner of my eye. Three pink cupcakes were lying on the ground.
I stopped, turning my body to see over the platter that obstructed my view. I gasped as my eyes focused on the icy ground below.
My hands broke away from the tray, pink cupcakes flying everywhere.
THIRTY-FIVE
Stacie’s lifeless body lay near the back of Jack’s Jeep, on the cold, hard asphalt. My world was quickly spinning out of control. She was on her back, obviously having slipped, but I had no way of knowing how hard she’d landed. I knelt beside her, the tights I wore soaking through in an instant.
“Stacie, Stacie!” I cried.
Her eyes fluttered as a moan escaped her lips. I reached for my phone, calling 911. Stacie moaned again, but I concentrated on the dispatcher. I had to get the information to her clearly. I was familiar enough with emergency protocol that I knew the highlights they were after and the questions I needed to ask of them.
“What’s their ETA?” I asked the dispatcher.
“Between ten and fifteen minutes, ice has made for more of a delay today.”
“Okay, I need you to call her husband for me, I have to make another call right now,” I said.
“Ma’am I would like to stay on the phone with you-”
“I’m a nurse; I know what I need to do. I just need help to do it. Call her husband, please. He’s over an hour away. Have him meet us at the hospital,” I said.
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