by Hattie Lou
“Come on! Take a picture with us.” Olivia says, motioning for me to take a seat next to her.
I hold the camera up to get the three of us in the shot. “Smile,” I say as I hit the snap button. I look at the photo and it’s perfect. We are all happy and having fun.
Chapter Twenty-seven
Luke
Olivia is still sleeping in my bed. She looks so cute and tired that I don’t want to wake her so I sneak out of bed without her knowing. I head into the kitchen where I turn on the coffee maker before heading outside to watch the sunrise.
When I’m in LA I’m usually just getting in at this hour from all the late night parties, but not here. I like being up before the sun comes up so I can watch it. I feel like I’m living a new life. It’s nice being here with Mom and Olivia. It’s not hectic like it’s in LA. It’s calm and quiet. I can almost forget the chaos that my life has become.
Erika called me last night and asked me once again when I am coming back. I told her that my mom needed me here. I didn’t give her an exact date of when I will be returning. I don’t know if I want to go back there. I’m not sure that I want to leave here.
Being here has made me realize how much fun life can be when you aren't focused on your acting career. I spend hours studying all my lines and making tons of appearances at every big event in Hollywood. But being here, I’m nobody. I’m just me and I like that. People aren’t expecting me to do anything. It’s nice just being an ordinary person.
Now I realize why Dad liked to come here from time to time. It was where he found peace. He would spend a lot of his time out here writing his scripts. This place is good at keeping you calm and refreshed. It never gets boring here.
A set of hands wrap themselves around my shoulders as she kisses my hair. “Morning.” She says with a giggle.
I pull her by her arm towards me until she’s sitting down on my lap. “Morning.” I love the way she looks in my t-shirt.
“What are you doing out here?” She asks, stealing my coffee right out of my hand to take a sip.
“I wanted to see the sunrise.”
She hands me back the mug and nuzzles her head on my chest. “I want to watch it with you.” She says.
I wrap my arms around her body holding her close to me. This is what I can get used to. Erika wouldn’t give two cents about the sunrise unless it was to benefit her in a way. She’s nothing like Olivia. She won’t care to cuddle like this. It’s hard sometimes dealing with her. She hates being held and sweet talking.
“Savannah asked me about you last night when I was on the phone with her.”
I’m happy that she asked about me. It means she likes me, but the expression on her face tells me she doesn’t feel the same way I do. “Is there something wrong?”
“I’m worried for her. She’s getting attached to you.”
I don’t understand. What’s wrong with that? I’m not a bad person. “And?” I ask, hiding that I’m offended for her not wanting Savannah to talk about me.
“You’re going to be leaving soon. Your life in LA is calling you. You were supposed to go back last week. I’m worried how sad she will be once she comes back and finds out that you’re gone.”
Savannah isn’t the only one who will be sad. I have gotten so used to Olivia and her. I like the time we spend together including with my mom. Sitting in the living room watching game shows with them is exciting to me. In LA I was always on the go, never slowing down, but here it’s nice just to sit back and enjoy the day with them.
“The offer still stands. You guys can visit anytime. Just tell me when and I will send you plane tickets.”
She doesn’t say anything as she stares into my eyes and runs her fingers through my hair.
A cough coming from inside the house gets both of our attention. Olivia immediately pulls away and turns her attention inside the house. “Was that your mom?” She asks, worried.
“Yeah, I think so.”
She gets up and heads straight to her room. I follow behind her to see what’s going on. Mom coughed which isn’t a big deal. I don’t know why we are going to her room.
“Katherine? Are you okay?” Olivia asks rushing over to Mom’s side.
“I can’t breathe.” She whispers, reaching for her hand.
“Luke! Call 911!” Olivia yells.
I run out of the room and into the living room to get my cell phone.
The paramedics show up less than ten minutes later. I quickly go into my room and change my clothes. When I return to the room, they are placing an oxygen mask on her as she holds onto Olivia’s hand, refusing to let go. She whispers something to Mom’s ear that I can’t make out.
Olivia goes with her in the ambulance while I drive my car not far behind.
Olivia
The doctors gave her medicine to help her sleep while we wait for results. I stand in the hallway as the nurses walk back and forth checking on the patients. The waiting is driving me crazy. I hate this part. It takes too long.
This isn’t the first time that Katherine was rushed to the hospital. She was just here a few months ago. She ended up staying in the hospital for almost a week, but this time seems different. I have never seen her out of breath before. Seeing her like that scared me but I couldn’t let her know that, so I remained calm as best as possible for her. I kept telling her to breathe.
“Here,” Luke says, handing me a cup of coffee.
“Thanks.” I have been trying hard not to think of the worst, but no matter what my mind keeps going there.
We both don’t speak. Not sure what’s going on with Katherine. It could be nothing, but it could also be very serious given her condition.
“Mrs. Patterson.” A doctor says pointing into the direction of a private room. This can’t be good. Why can’t he talk to us in the room with Katherine? He doesn’t want her to hear the bad news.
I reach for Luke’s hand and give it a tight squeeze. He doesn’t give me a squeeze back. “I’m going to stay here.” He says.
“You can talk to the doctor if you want to. I’ll stay here and give you some privacy.” I offer.
He shakes his head. “You do it.” He walks away and heads into her room.
I take a seat on the couch as he opens her file. “We did several blood tests and x-rays to try to find the cause of Katherine’s shortness of breath. It appears she has developed pneumonia. We removed the fluid from her lungs, but the results revealed she’s in organ failure.”
Oh, God! I can feel my cheeks get damped by the tears flowing down my face. “How bad is it?”
He doesn’t sugarcoat it. “It’s bad. Given her age and other medical problems.” He says, not finishing what he really wants to say.
“How long do you think she has?”
He sucks in his bottom lip and I know that I got my answer. “Not very long. With her dealing with pneumonia, it’s not good. Her lungs might continue to build up fluid. We can drain them as much as we can, but it’s not going to help her. I’m sorry. I wish I had better news for you. I know how much she means to you.”
I walk out of the room to see Luke, who is now standing in the hallway. He looks up at me and he can see the truth on my face. I turn and walk the other way, not wanting to talk about it just yet.
Luke left an hour ago to go back to the house to grab me some extra clothes. I’m not leaving her, not when she’s like this. The nurses check in on her every half an hour and ask if I need anything. I tell them that I’m fine even though I’m a nervous wreck on the inside. I have to be brave for Katherine’s sake.
I get a text from Luke telling me he’s outside waiting. He got my overnight bag in his hand as I approach him. The fact he didn’t come inside the hospital tells me something’s up with him. He isn’t going to stay the night. He’s leaving.
I walk over to his car. “Do you need me to get you anything else?”
The question annoys me. He should be inside with his mother instead of out here. “You’re leaving now?”
I shout. “At a time like this?”
“I can’t stay.” He answers staring down at the ground, not wanting to look up at me.
“Luke! She’s your mom!”
He shakes his head. “She doesn’t need me. She never needed me, Olivia. She needs you.”
I throw my hands up. “Fine!” I take a step closer and push him away with my hands. “Go back to your precious LA and live your fake fucking life. Don’t bother coming back. We don’t need you!” I yell.
He doesn’t say anything. He slips into his car and pulls out of the garage never looking back.
My knees buckle as I fall on the cement and cry into my hands. I don’t care if someone walks out and sees me. I have always been the one who tries to be tough and hides my emotions, but Katherine is dying and here I am all alone. There’s nothing that I can do. This reminds me of when Ethan died. I had no one to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. And then she came walking into my life. Katherine turned my nightmare upside down and helped me get through the rough patches in my life. Here I am and there’s nothing I can do to make her better.
After a few minutes, I pull myself together and decide I’m not going to waste any more time thinking about her dying. I want to stay in the present while she’s still here. I still got her.
“Hey,” Ben whispers, waking me up from my sleep. With everything going on I haven’t gotten a chance to call him and tell him that Katherine was admitted. “I went by the house when you didn’t answer the phone. I knew something had to be wrong. The neighbor down the street told me there was an ambulance at the house earlier. What’s going on?”
I’m afraid of waking her up by talking so I motion for him to step outside. I tell the nurse that I will be back in a few minutes and to tell me if anything changes while I’m gone.
We go to the cafeteria. It’s empty as it’s almost midnight. Ben orders himself a cup of coffee while I don’t care to drink anything. I rest my chin on my hands. “She started coughing. It was a weird cough that I never heard before. They brought her here and ran some tests. She has pneumonia. The doctor doesn’t think it looks good. She’s in organ failure. He stated she doesn’t have much time left.”
He looks at me with sympathy and reaches across the table for my hand. “Ol, I’m sorry. Is there anything you need?”
“No,” I whisper, trying not to cry again. My eyes are dry and it hurts to blink. I could only imagine how red and puffy they look right now.
“How’s Luke handling this?”
I shrug my shoulders. “I don’t know. He bailed. He is probably in LA by now.”
His eyes widen in shock. “His mom’s health is declining and he just took off like that?”
“Yeah, he left a little while ago.”
“I know he’s scared but he should have stayed for you and Katherine.” He squeezes my hand, letting me know he is here for us.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do without Katherine. She has been my everything.”
He shakes his head. “Let’s not think about that right now, okay?”
Ben is right. I can’t let my mind go to that dark place. I need to be strong for Katherine. She was strong for me when I needed her.
Chapter Twenty-eight
Luke
I stare down at the bottom of my favorite shot glass. I pour myself some more whiskey. I haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours. My mind keeps going back to her last good day. We got to spend the whole day together. Olivia warned me those days were rare so I made sure to make it count. I let her tell me where she wanted to go. I was her personal driver for the day. She gave me a list of places to go to. I didn’t care for them, but she was happy.
I look at my cell phone and click on the photo of us downtown where Mom insisted on me going in for a haircut. She said that she wanted me to look good. I think she just wanted me to get Olivia’s attention. Mom kept talking about her the whole time we were out.
There’s a knock on the bedroom door. “What?” I yell, expecting it to be Erika. She has been “checking in” on me every hour. She asked what was wrong with me. I told her that I just wanted to be left alone. Erika knows Mom is sick, but I haven’t told her that she’s in the hospital dying.
“Hey, man. Why didn’t you tell me that you were back in town?” Matthew says, stepping in the room. “Erika told me to check on you. What’s up?”
“Nothing.” I lie.
“You’re drinking early in the morning. Something is wrong. Did you get fired from a movie?”
Like I would be this upset over a dumb movie. Maybe if this was a few months ago, I might have. It’s weird how being away for a few weeks made me realize just how clueless I was about life. I thought I had it all, being a Hollywood star with movies under my belt. I thought that was happiness. It wasn’t. Happiness was when I was in Pennsylvania and Mom knew who I was. “She’s dying.”
“Erika?” Matthew asks, clueless.
“Not her. Mom.”
Matthew doesn’t say anything. He knows words are useless at a time like this. We never know how to handle serious situations. The night of Dad’s funeral, Matthew suggested we go to a strip club so I would stop thinking about his death. It was only a few hours after we buried him. It worked until I woke up the next morning and remembered he was still dead.
“Are you flying back to Pennsylvania?” Matthew asks, staring down at the floor.
“No. I still have work to take care of.”
He doesn’t ask any more questions. He knows that I like to avoid life when something serious happens. “Do you want to go out somewhere? Maybe a bar for a few drinks?”
“No. I want to be left alone, if that’s okay.”
“Okay. Sure, man,” Matthew says, turning around to walk out the room. “Call me if you need anything.”
“Tell Erika that I’m fine and I don’t need her to check in on me.”
Chapter Twenty-nine
Olivia
I’m not sure if I have been here for three or four days. I can’t think straight anymore. The doctor has been coming in to check on her several times a day. Each time I’m just waiting for him to tell me more bad news. How much worse can it get? I already know that she is dying and there is nothing that I can do.
I stare out the window watching the rain hit the ground. It’s ugly and gray out there. I wish I could erase these past few days and go back to when Katherine was okay. She didn’t always remember her name, but she was happy. I would do anything to get those days back.
“Is there anyone I can call for you?” Her doctor asks me. “Someone who can come in for a while so you can go home and rest?”
I know he is trying to say that I look like hell without saying the actual words. I wouldn’t blame him if he thinks that. I’m barely sleeping these days. My hairbrush is back at the house and I haven’t left her side to get a shower. “There’s no one else. I’m all she has.” I tell him. He watches me for a moment before walking out of the room.
Savannah called me last night and asked about Katherine. I told her she was sick and in the hospital. I didn’t tell her that she’s dying. I can’t bring myself to even say the word ‘dying’ to Savannah. She promises to make her a get well card. We need a miracle for her to get well.
Ben rudely kicked me out of the hospital. He demanded that I go home for a short time. He couldn’t take how I was neglecting myself. I put up a fight but he won in the end by promising that he will stay by her side until I got back and call me if anything changes.
I open the front door to Katherine’s house. I don’t step inside at first. I just stand there and look around. The place looks and feels so empty. I’m not used to being in the house without her. There’s no television on or no food being cooked. It feels like I’m looking into a stranger’s house. I don’t know this place.
I drop my purse onto the living room floor. The house is so quiet and yet I can hear the silence yelling. I drag my feet into my room to get my clothes before walking to the bathro
om. I stare down as the shower head is hitting me in the face with warm water. It covers up the tears that won’t stop falling down my cheeks.
My phone rings on the sink. I know it’s Ben calling me before I even get to it.
“Hello?” I ask as my heart’s racing fast.
“Ol, you need to get here.” He says with panic in his voice.
There’s no need to ask him what’s going on because I already have a bad feeling.
I don’t know how I made it to the hospital. All I remember is dropping the phone and running out the door as quickly as possible.
Katherine signed a “do not resuscitate” paper a few years back so if she stops breathing then there’s nothing the doctors can do. They have to respect her wishes no matter what.
I walk into the room where Ben is standing next to her bed. There’s a nurse who’s staring at the monitors that show her blood pressure is low as well as her oxygen level.
Ben walks over to me. “I will give you some privacy.” He says, before stepping out of the room.
I take the chair and pull it up to her bed as I reach for her hand. “I’m here, Katherine,” I whisper into her ear. “I’m here.”
Chapter Thirty
Olivia
I look down at the phone and see that he still hasn’t called me. I called four times in the last hour. He’s avoiding my calls. Maybe there’s a part of him that already knows.
“It’s me again. I’m not stupid, Luke. I know you’re avoiding me. I just want you to know that Katherine passed away an hour ago.” I say, squeezing my eyes close. It still doesn’t feel real. I’m just waiting to go back to the hospital and see her sitting in her bed. “I get that it’s hard for you. I really do but there’s so much stuff we have to go over like her funeral plans so call me back as soon as you get this message.” I hit end call and slide down onto the kitchen floor as I cry into my knees.
Ben offered to stay with me but I told him that I would rather be left alone. I’m in no mood to deal with anyone right now.