Good Intentions (Welcome to Paradise) (Volume 2)

by S. L. Scott

  I sit up and look at her. “Didn’t you just catch a redeye home? Shouldn’t you be tired?”

  She shrugs. “I slept on the flight. Wide awake and ready to hit the stores now.”

  Protesting will get me nowhere, so I relent and get up.

  Within the hour, I’m showered, dressed, stuffed full of eggs, courtesy of my mom, and already standing alone in the middle of a department store. Sunny has abandoned me for the dressing room. I hang up the shirt that I’ve been holding for twenty minutes and pull out my phone to text Evan.

  I know you’re not up yet, but wanted to be the first one to tell you good morning. Good Morning, babe.

  I don’t expect to hear from him in the next four hours because it’s still early here much less in Hawaii. So I head over to the dressing rooms and take a seat outside Sunny’s room.

  Lucky for me, she offers to feed me at lunchtime, but only for fifteen minutes because we’re off again to hit the back-to-school sales.

  My phone buzzes with a text from Evan just after three in the afternoon.

  This bed is lonely without you, baby. My arms are a tad lonely, too.

  I quickly type back. Only a tad?

  He responds. Maybe more than a tad. A lot. I miss you, beautiful.

  Sunny sneaks up behind me and surprises me. “Ready to go?”

  “Yes, so ready.”

  Call me later. Shopping with Sunny and going out tonight. I miss you and those arms around me very much. I love you.

  Five shopping bags later, she drops me off with the threat of picking me up in exactly one hour to go out.

  I have dinner with only my mom since my dad has meetings. We talk about Evan and I show her some pictures on my phone. I also show her the ring, and although I know she wants to say something about which finger I’ve chosen to wear the ring, she tells me how handsome he is instead and hugs me. It feels good to share this part of my life with her.

  Sunny breaks up the bonding moment by letting herself into the house. She insists we have to leave so we’re at the club by eight to avoid a cover charge. As I stand from the table, she gives me two thumbs up, approving of my tight jeans and fitted top. It feels weird to be dressing in jeans and heels again since I didn’t wear them in Hawaii.

  We find a parking spot after a few minutes of cruising and walk to the club down the street. The doorman stamps our hands after we show ID and we go inside. There’s a warm glow to the room, loud music, and lots of people considering it’s still early in the night. We’re waved over by some high school buddies that spot us. Within a few minutes, we’ve got a beer in hand and kick back in the booth.

  It starts feeling like a reunion of sorts in here tonight with all the familiar faces. A few guys I recognize come over and chat me up, telling me how much I’ve changed since high school and how good I’m looking. The backhanded compliments don’t sit well with me since I didn’t think I was ugly back in then. It’s easy to see their shallow ways now. I wasn’t good enough in high school, but now that I’ve filled out a little more, gotten rid of the braces, and grown into my ‘assets’, they’re all over me.

  Uninterested. The feeling identified quickly when you look at the faces of your high school classmates and realize they didn’t really mean for you to talk about your summer although they asked. It was polite, surface chit chat they were seeking. They lose interest about a minute into that conversation, which makes me inwardly giggle. It’s not like we keep in touch… there might be a reason. Several beers into the night, Evan calls and I head outside to hear him instead of the loud bar chatter and music. We don’t talk long because he’s heading out to meet Zach and Murphy, but it’s good to hear his voice.

  Tired from the travels and shopping, we don’t stay much longer and go home.

  Lying in bed, loneliness settles in. I miss Evan and though it’s only been two days, it feels like ages. All my fears begin to surface as regret shows up. Maybe I should live with him like he suggested? I land on this thought for a moment. Maybe I shot down his idea too quickly? Maybe, I should reconsider it, really consider it?

  At the time he mentioned living together, I thought it was ridiculous. Not the idea of living with him per se, but more the complications it would bring us at such an early stage in our relationship. Two months is not enough time to make such a big commitment. On top of that, I’ve already signed a lease with Sarah. I can’t leave a lifelong friend high and dry like that. That’s not the kind of friend I want to be. Evan got that. He didn’t like it, but he got it. Hell, I didn’t like it, but it’s not like we can’t stay with each other if he does move to Colorado.

  I give myself a reprieve from that inward argument and try to sleep. It takes more than an hour before I fall asleep, but when I do, I dream of blue eyes and surfboards, sex wax and sunsets. A little after four, I wake up sweating, my insides tight and tingling, a realization that my body misses Evan as much as my mind does.

  Evan left for New York and today I find myself packing my bags to return back to school in the morning. I have lunch with Sunny before saying our goodbyes since she has to leave to catch her flight back to Oahu.

  After dinner with my parents, I return to my room to webcam Evan one last time before I need to pack my laptop. After rebooting my computer twice, I still can’t seem to get the camera to come on and a black screen is all that’s showing. Frustrated, I call him and we end up talking for an hour the old-fashioned way—over the phone.

  With every minute that passes, I can feel the change in him, the change the city is causing him. He’s been preparing for the board meeting that determines the fate of his family’s business and the pressure is starting to affect him. The weight has been placed squarely on his shoulders to carry this burden.

  Concern fills me. The main reason is because if the board retires his father Evan will feel like a failure. I try to reassure him that if they don’t, he’ll be the hero, but it’s a lot to ask of anyone much less a twenty-three year old. So I try to be what he needs, someone to listen, but the separation feels like a great wall of divide between us.

  When I lay down in bed, I pull the covers up to my chin and roll onto my side, holding the phone close to my ear. When I turn off my lamp, I listen to him breathing almost like he’s here next to me in the dark of my room.

  “You should go to bed, Evan. It’s late there.”

  “I should, but I don’t sleep well.”

  “Because you miss me?”

  “You know I miss you. It’s weird here. This used to be my home and now it feels foreign. I think I got used to Hawaii… and you.”

  “I only slept okay the first night because I talked to you. Let’s stay on and maybe we’ll get tired enough to fall asleep.”

  “Okay.”

  His breath deepens, and he rustles around on the other end of the line. I yawn and we settle down into a soft spoken conversation of sappy-ness until I don’t remember anything but dreams of him with his arms around me. I feel loved and I hope he feels the same.

  My mom makes the forty-five minute drive with me, her SUV filled to the brim with my crap. My dad is following in my Corolla behind us.

  “Are you sure you want to take more stuff up there? You don’t have a big closet in that tiny apartment,” she says, glancing over at me then back to the road.

  “I have room in my dresser. I’m also going to get rid of some stuff I never wear.”

  With her eyes straight ahead, she tries to sound nonchalant. “Is Evan going to visit you at school?”

  “Oh, um. I’m not sure. He said he would, but I don’t want to put any added stress on him. He has enough of that as it is.”

  “It’s not stressful to be with the one you love, honey.”

  I look out the window and exhale a deep sigh. “I don’t want him to feel like I’m demanding anything from him. Everyone else is doing that—”

  “That’s a part of growing up, Mallory. People have expectations and start relying on you. He’s going to be working and the busin
ess will rely on him. Why are you worried?”

  “I’m worried by what this job and Manhattan will do to him. He didn’t want to go and I know he feels forced to be there.”

  “He’s not being forced.” Her tone is sharp. “He’s doing what’s needed of him. He’s being responsible. I think it shows a lot about the kind of person he is. He’s a grown man and can take care of himself. You, my dear daughter need to focus on your studies.”

  I rest my head against the window, watching as we pass by the landmarks that signal we’re getting close. Evan is a grown up. That just seems all wrong in my mind though. Not because I think he’s immature. Actually, I feel quite the opposite, but that if he’s a grown up and taking care of his responsibilities, what does that make me? Am I all grown up now, too? At what age do you officially ‘grow up?’

  My heart feels heavy in my chest wondering if Evan will choose New York after having a taste of it again. Maybe he’ll choose to run the family business. He won’t need a degree to work there. His name is on the company stationary. These thoughts hit me, like a slap across the face, and I realize that there is a distinct possibility that I may never see him again.

  I close my eyes and shake my head not wanting to let these twisted thoughts seep in. I knew if they did I would be headed for heartbreak and I’m not willing to go there… yet. I need to believe to get by. I believe in us and our love and will hold as tight as I can to that romantic notion.

  My first impression of him echoes inside my head as we continue our drive in silence. He told me not to rely on him, but to trust him. He told me not to rely on him, but to trust him. He told me not to rely on him, but to trust him.

  But at the airport, he assured me that I can rely on him. Even without him confirming that I could, an epiphany hits me. I already do rely on him, in so many ways.

  He changed his modus operandi for me. His whole identity was wrapped up in that spiel he gave me at the diner that first day and yet he didn’t use his tactics on me that night or any other night. I know in that moment that I will most definitely see him again even if I have to make it happen somehow.

  He was ready for change, and this summer gave him the perfect storm to finally get his ass in gear and fight for what he loves and what he loves seems to be me.

  I’m smiling to myself when I feel my mom’s hand on my arm.

  “Mal, I can really see how in love you are with Evan.” She pauses, looking back at the road, returning her hand to the steering wheel. “I hope it works out the way you want.”

  “I do too.”

  My mom helps me unload the car and leaves right after hoping to beat rush hour traffic through Denver. Sarah’s not home yet, so I start unpacking. I unpack my iPod docking station first and get some music playing. That helps pass the time and distract my thoughts from all the ‘what-if’s’ that seem to be playing out in my head lately.

  Two hours on the job and my room is looking the way I want. I stand back to admire, but a knock on the door interrupts me appreciating my work. I know Sarah isn’t due to arrive yet, so I stand up and shake out my cramped legs and peek through the peephole. I see a delivery man. Standing there, I’m unsure if I should answer or not until he says, “Delivery for Miss Mallory Wray.”

  I unlock the door and open it wide. After signing for the package, I scurry back into the living room to open the large cardboard box. It’s heavy, but not unmanageable.

  Grabbing my car key from the hook I hung up earlier next to the front door, I slice open the taped box. Styrofoam popcorn flies out as I lift the flaps, revealing a brand new laptop. I stare at it a minute, unsure if I should take it out or not. I close the flaps and look at the label again. Yes, it’s addressed to me, but it only says the computer company’s name as the return address, not who sent it. I lift the flaps open again and more of the packing popcorn comes out, landing on the floor and my lap.

  I dig out the packing slip and read the message:

  Dear Mallory,

  I know you’re going to say you can’t accept this, but before you call me to say that, you should know that this laptop is more for me than you. I can’t go without seeing that beautiful face for too long and since your webcam is broken, I thought it only fitting that I replace it. It just so happens to come with a state of the art laptop attached to said camera.

  Accept it, Mallory. It’s not a big deal, so stop debating whether you’re going to accept it or not and take it.

  I love you, baby, and I expect you to webcam me tonight.

  Love,

  Evan

  He knows me well. I was debating, but how can I deny him this gift. I giggle as I pull the laptop from the box. It’s so sleek and new, fancier than I’ve ever had before. He shouldn’t have done this, but he did, and I’m going to appreciate it.

  I take it to my room and set it up on my desk. An hour later, the computer is all ready to go. I log onto Skype and type in: Evan Ashford, but he doesn’t answer.

  He’s the first and only person I add into my contacts. Needing an avi picture, I step out of my comfort zone. I wink and lick the corner of my lips—my sad attempt at sexy—and the camera snaps. Checking out the results, I decide that even though it’s kind of embarrassing, it’s also kind of hot, so I keep it.

  It’s funny what happens to your sanity when you pretend you’re not anxiously waiting for someone to call or email, text, or contact you in any form. I’m trying to play it cool, but it’s not working out so well.

  Maybe he’s working. I rationalize like five hundred times in my head. Maybe he doesn’t Skype from the office. Maybe he’s out with his friends or his family. Maybe he’s too busy fucking someone else and doesn’t realize I pinged him. Maybe I’m losing my mind? Yes! I’m losing my mind. That is the only logical answer right now.

  A knock kicks me out of my crazy thoughts and I’m relieved to be saved by the bell… er, knock. I run to answer the front door and find Sarah, arms full of stuff, standing there.

  “Mallory, I’m so glad to see you,” she says as I take two bags from her and she walks in.

  I set them on the table and turn to face her as she sets her stuff down. We hug each other tight. “I missed you so much,” I say, squeezing her tight. Sarah is the polar opposite of Sunny. Where Sunny is outgoing, popular, and ambitious, Sarah is quiet, content, and happy where she is in life. They balance our friendship out nicely. Sarah and I came to the University of Colorado together and Sunny, always the more adventurous, headed for Hawaii.

  “I missed you, too. I mean it was nice visiting my Gran in Tennessee, but there’s no place like home.”

  “Where’s Josh?” I was surprised Sarah signed another lease with me because Josh, her longtime boyfriend, asked her to move in with him last spring and his apartment is much nicer than ours. She turned him down saying that her parents would kill her if she shacked up with him before marriage.

  “He’s coming up with some of the heavier stuff from the car.” She takes me by the hand and pulls me over to the loveseat that comes with the apartment. “Loved the postcards, but I can’t wait for you to tell me all about Hawaii.”

  “Two words will sum up my summer vacation: Evan. Ashford.”

  She giggles as she rests her hands on mine all giddy for me. “So you met someone and made it official all in less than three months?”

  “We did more than meet…”

  “In the bedroom, Sarah? Hey, Mallory, good to see ya,” Josh says, walking past us with a large box.

  Sarah stands, using my knee to help her up. “Can’t wait to hear more, but I guess I should help him out.”

  “I can help,” I offer, walking down the steps of the apartment complex with her.

  Two hours later, we’re eating pizza and drinking sodas on the couch. Josh is sitting on the floor and we’re all exhausted. The apartment is in pretty good shape and with classes starting in the morning, we thought it best to stop now and finish the rest of the unpacking over this first week back.

  When I
go to my bedroom and get ready for sleep around nine-thirty, I happen to notice a flashing Skype message is waiting.

  Sorry I missed your first message on your new laptop today. I was having lunch with my dad and some of his associates. I’m glad you like the present and hope to put it to good use very soon, baby. I love you, Evan.

  I jump online to see if he’s still on, but he’s not. I can’t help but feel disappointed. I’m so used to having him around all the time, talking about everything and nothing, but we’ve barely talked since he left for New York.

  I pick up my phone and crawl into bed. Before I go to sleep, I send him a text.

  I miss hearing your voice. Sweet dreams.

  The lamp gets switched off as I set my phone on the nightstand. I roll onto my side, away from the phone, hoping it will help me forget about it and the wishful thinking I have that he’ll call, but it doesn’t. I toss and turn for hours never quite reaching that deep, restful sleep I need.

  When sleep finally comes, I’m jolted awake by my phone ringing. I jump up automatically and answer without my mind fully coherent. “Hello!”

  “Hi, baby, did I wake you?” Evan slurs into the phone.

  Sitting up, I try to clear my foggy mind. “Evan, what time is it?” In the dark room I look over at my alarm clock. It’s after midnight.

  “I dunno.”

  By the loud music and chattering in the background, he’s not home and for some reason that irritates me. “Babe, it’s late here, which means it’s really late there. Don’t you have work in the morning?”

  “Yeah, I had a tough day.” He chuckles, his drunkenness showing. “I’m blowing off steam, but I’m leaving soon. I got your text and you said you wanted to hear my voice. So, here it is, just for you.”