“Alright, sis. Make sure you’re able to keep it up.” She sighed, looking for more seasonings in the cabinet above her.
I grew slightly insulted by the statement then quickly brushed it off. Marie took on the overbearing role after our parents died. I appreciated it, but she had to understand my ambition in going my own way.
“What’s that about?” I crinkled my face at her. “Plus, I thought you were ready to get me out of here.”
“No. YOU’RE ready to get out of here. I know you love us, but I notice how you side-eye Beaux when he’s being extra.” She softened her tone with a laugh. “I like having you around and your nephew adores you.”
I laughed in relief as I realized where she was going with her questioning. Marie never babied me. She made it a priority to fill the void of both parents by aiding when I needed her. Then pushing me to my greatest potential. Something my parents had done since I was born.
“He’s just being himself. A kid.” I shrugged playing with unopened mail on the counter.
“You like your independence.” Marie continued placing the guacamole in the fridge to chill. “I know you had it rough last year, and almost it took you down. I never want to see you in that place again. That’s all.”
“It was pretty bad, but you guys helped me through it. I appreciate that.”
“We’re all we got. Me and Beaux will always be here for you.”
We shared an exchange of endearing smiles. If I’d known better at the time, I would have continued smiling instead of opening my big mouth.
“Have you heard from his dad?” I asked.
Her demeanor stiffened as if I’d told her he was at the front door, finally ready to be a good father. She grew to hate him. They were in love since their premature years in high school. However, as soon as marriage and a kid came along, Beaux Sr. realized he missed out on the single life and wanted to explore. Unfortunately, he explored without telling Marie. My sister filed for divorce after discovering his flings through social media and snooping through text messages. After that, the only time they spoke, which was more of arguing, was when she demanded him to spend time with Beaux Jr. However, Beaux Sr. felt the hefty amount provided through child support would suffice as being a father.
“Yes, and no I don’t want to talk about it!” she replied after taking a few deep breaths. The small meditation moment must have worked because a few minutes later, my sister was back in her happy place, preparing dinner.
“Gotcha! Where’s the tequila?” I stood up, looking for meditation medicine of my own.
“On the table, I bought a new bottle today.”
Chapter 3: The Ride
Moving day finally came and it was the worst! Stalled Atlanta traffic confined me to a U-Haul, sitting next to a family friend, wreaking of Newport cigarettes and midday sweat. His friends trailed in a pickup truck, carrying boxes filled with books, clothes, and God knows what else I threw into storage from my old townhome. I had two choices, go crazy or stick my face out the window and reflect on my life.
My first thought was the relationship with Kevin. If only he had been more mentally mature; resisting temptations of the single life, we could have been moving in together. So close to marriage and yet so far from being the woman I had planned to be. I pulled back from spiraling down into that dark hole of heartache, shifting my mind to someone who made me smile.
Darren’s face mentally appearing, temporarily took me away from the U-Haul ride from hell. Becoming enthralled by him at first sight, I then realized how lonely I’d become, in the romantic sense. If I had a man of my own to help move, I wouldn’t have been smelling the stale cigarette scent, with my mind drifting to an intriguing stranger who wouldn’t acknowledge my existence. Maybe it was my age or signs of immaturity. Whatever it was, the admiration was more repelling than attractive through my quirky presence.
Seeking relief from the non-verbal rejection, I daydreamed of Darren approaching and taking the initiative to talk. A smile grew as I fancied the notion of his words flowing from his lips into my personal space. His immediate reaction of smile-flashing dimples resulting from my clever charm. And I returned facial expressions that adorned the space between us, increasing his desire to get to know me better.
I wanted to kiss the ground as we reached the building. However, while transporting furniture from the truck, another obstacle came. The friends in the pickup truck made unwanted verbal advances throughout the move. I’d become sick of hearing their voices only ten minutes in. Their words were immature, ignorant, and disgusting. Nothing like Darren’s, deep, soothing, and mesmerizing articulations.
Throughout the move, which took an hour and a half from my precious life. I lied, telling them I had a boyfriend who was out of town that weekend. The pretend significant other reduced their forwardness, however, they held onto hope that I’d give in.
The cigarette scented man pushed the last big box in the corner of my new living room. “I think that’s the last of it.”
I didn’t tell him to put it there, but I was ready for him and the perverted help to leave.
I handed him an envelope of money, encouraging them to the door. “Great. Thanks again!”
Perv Friend #1 pointed to another corner in the living room. “You sure you don’t need help with the mirror.”
Although help was needed, I’d risk breaking my back before prolonging their “visit”.
“Nope, I’m good. My boyfriend will be back in town next week, and he can put it up.”
Perv Friend #1’s face cringed after my response. Perv #2 walked over to assess the mirror, he was the worst of the two. He lifted his shirt to wipe imaginary sweat, revealing a 3-pack torso, then winked at me. Like that was supposed to turn me on.
“Your man wouldn’t mind if we put up the mirror. Hell, we already moved you in here,” he said.
“I don’t know where I want it yet,” I replied hastily. “Thanks again for your help. I have it from here.”
I was afraid I’d run out of lies to tell. Suddenly, a blessing came in the form of a phone call to the cigarette man.
“Hey, let’s go. We gotta get this truck back before 5. I’m not paying no late fees.” He slumped to the door.
“Shit, make her pay for it.” Perv #1 mumbled following behind with Perv #2 trailing along.
I closed the door quickly after they ventured into the hallway; leaving their lingering smells to fester with my solitude.
Looking around my new apartment, I Thanked God. I’d come a long way in a decent amount of time. The year before, I was down, feeling sorry for myself on my sister’s sofa. I upgraded to 900 square feet of luxury living in midtown Atlanta.
While relishing in the new apartment, silence settled. No screams from my nephew, no screams from my sister screaming at my nephew. Noises on the street eased the loneliness a little, though in-house noise would have been comforting. I had friends whom I kept in contact with from high school, but they were the “only call if you wanna hang out” type. Not the comforting kind.
It took me a week to get my apartment in livable shape. There were a few big boxes that contained useless items and old clothes that I needed to give away. However, I was pleased with the progress.
Monday rains were a pain. Especially since my commutes were on foot. The walk wasn’t a big deal. There were cafés and beautiful scenery to admire along the way. But that day, I regretted the decision to forget about looking for a car as the heavy rain fell.
“Oh my God, Jenn! Did you get caught in the rain?” Miss Alice shouted as I walked into the front lobby doused in precipitation.
Her echoing voice caused unwanted and pitied stares in my direction. On the bright side, Darren wasn’t around to gawk along with everyone else.
“I walked here, Miss Alice.” I sighed.
Rushing to catch the elevator, I slipped and fell into the wall. Another moment for Miss Alice to call out.
“Uh Oh! Be careful!” She shouted again, making matters worse.
Wa
s she watching me the entire time? Why do nosy women do that? Don’t they know when they are annoying as hell!?!
Dripping all the way to my desk, I was exhausted from the day already. I threw my stuff down, which made a loud noise, alerting everyone in the area.
“Better make sure you didn’t break your laptop.” Miss Alice suddenly appeared from behind.
She had to be mutant. Disappearing and reappearing at the wrong times. Her outburst about the laptop caught Michael’s attention as he passed by.
“Jennifer, check to see if it’s damaged.” He added, making a U-turn towards us. “It’ll take two weeks to get it fixed.”
I planned on hiding in the bathroom to take a breather, instead, I suffered sitting at my desk with Miss Alice and Michael hovering while asking probing questions about a laptop that was in good shape.
From the moment I got out of bed, the entire day went to hell. Miss Alice popped up left and right shrieking about every move I made, while Michael asked every hour about the condition of the laptop which showed no signs of damage. By 4:45 pm, I had enough! I snuck out of the office to get the hell away from them both.
Splattering rains pounded the pavement, while winds ripped through the precipitation, turning it sideways. My flimsy umbrella didn’t stand a chance against the junior tsunami from the sky. I watched closely standing under the brick covering in front of the office building, wishing Marie was around to pick me up. Securing an Uber ride failed due to weather conditions causing connection issues with my phone. Bad luck surrounded me that day and wouldn’t leave me alone.
Then, out of the blue, a black Porsche drove up, halting in front of the building. I looked around to see if the ride was for someone else. The deep-tinted windows made it hard to see who was inside of the four-door chariot. It was a wonder how long the owner of the nice ride was able to get around Atlanta without a ticket because of the strict tint laws.
“Eh, they’re probably lost,” I mumbled.
Just as I was about to pull up my umbrella to begin a horrid walk home, the dark window rolled down. It was him!
I fought to hide the light in my face at the sight of his big beautiful brown eyes. His suit jacket was off, exposing a white, neatly pressed dress shirt. As the window rolled down, his right wrist rested on the steering wheel and made grabbing motions with his hand. I almost missed his question watching the strong hand stretch his fingers.
“Hey, do you need a ride?” Darren yelled over the raindrops. “It’s pretty nasty out here.”
His eyes were amazing. Dark brown, teddy bear eyes. Dimples appeared when he spoke the words “Hey”, “need”, “ride”, “pretty”, and “nasty”. I’ve always been a sucker for dimples. My ex, Kevin, had them but they weren’t as deep as Darren’s. The sexy imprint on his cheeks made me hang on to every word.
“Uh...sure.” I let out a nervous laugh. “Thanks.”
Darren squinted to block the rain sprinkling towards the dark circles. “Hold on, I’ll get the door for you.”
He turned on the emergency lights and exited the car with his umbrella. Meeting me at the start of the brick covering, we shuffled around to the passenger side, and he opened the door. The car smelled just like his cologne, ENCHANTINGLY GOOD. I kept my focus on the rain tapping on the windows while he made his way back around the car to get in. I didn’t know how to feel. The man had no clue he offered a ride to a secret admirer. I thought I slipped into my fantasy world without knowing it. I waited to snap back into reality standing in front of the building, contemplating with an umbrella in hand. But as he slammed the door shut, there was no snapping out of anything, it was real!
“Alright. Tell me where you’re going.” He adjusted the rearview mirror. “I’ve seen you walking to this place all week. Miss Alice said it caught you this morning and your umbrella wasn’t much help.”
My head shifted to his directing as I chuckled to myself.
He turned to me and smiled, buckling up his seatbelt. “Her words, not mine.”
At least Miss Alice ran her mouth to the right person. The whole time, I resented running into her, and she became my savior. Thanks to the “old soul”, I was formally introduced to Darren.
I then thought about EVERYTHING he’d just said.
Watching me walk home. All this time I never thought he noticed me. This man watched me walk home from work!??!! Wow! I thought. I couldn’t believe what I’d heard.
“Directions?” he asked with a lifted brow and a dimpled grin.
“Sorry.” Another nervous laugh escaped my mouth. “I’m a few blocks up the street. I live in the high-rise right next to that Chicago pizza joint.”
“I know where that is. My wife’s cousin used to live in that building,” he nodded, slowly pulling out into the street. “Yea, I think that’s where Morgan used to live.”
WIFE! WIFE! WIFE! My entire soul sank to the floor of the car. The man that I’d been semi-lusting after, said he had a wife. I wanted to say “never mind”, and jump out into the rain. My facial expression went from excitement to “Oh GAWD NO!”. Talk about a snap out of the fantasy world. Forget the other shoe dropping, a big ass size 15 man-boot stomped all over my dreams.
“Your name is Jennifer, right?” he continued. “I think that’s what your boss told me. I’m Darren by the way.”
Yea I know your name, with your married ass! I shouted in my head.
“Everyone calls me Jenn. Except for Michael,” I mumbled.
He laughed, keeping his eyes ahead. “Michael ACTS tough. He’s not like that at all. He has something to prove to the guys over him.
Exposing his work buddy would have excited me if I didn’t have the disappointing news circling my brain.
I felt him glance over at me in embarrassment. “I suppose I shouldn’t have told you that.”
I didn’t care, I needed to get home and sulk to myself.
“Nice to officially meet you, Darren.” I shifted my head in the opposite direction. “And I already figured that out about Michael, so it isn’t news to me.”
I thought I’d throw in that last part so he wouldn’t worry about me gossiping back at the office. That was Miss Alice’s job, not mine. I rested my head on the seat, counting down the seconds until we reached the destination. Fortunately, the traffic wasn’t as bad as my day was going.
Suddenly, I felt him glance at me again as we pulled up to a red light. I didn’t want to look, but a force plucked me from the opposite direction, drawing me to the left. I met his eyes for the first time in that car. I noticed them around the office, but Darren’s eyes hadn’t been on me like that before. Those eyes, those dimples, that smile, and that WIFE. I didn’t want to allow the kind gesture to be mistaken for anything else. Breaking the wanting force, I turned my head to the windshield.
Darren cleared his throat as the light turned green. Slowly pressing the gas, silence entered the car, turning the ride awkward.
After a few moments of sighs between us, he spoke to make conversation. “So, Jenn. Are you from here?”
“Yep. Born and raised in Atlanta. I thought about moving after I graduated college. But since my parents died, it’s just been me and my sister.” I counted raindrops on the windshield as I spoke. “She’s pretty much all the family I have, and I don’t want to be away from her and my nephew.”
“Ooooh. I’m sorry to hear that.” Darren said sadly.
“Thanks,” I muttered, holding back the sadness in my voice. “They’ve been gone some years now. Mom had cancer and dad had a fatal stroke. It happened like two years apart. My sister thinks the heartbreak of losing my mother killed daddy.”
I felt yet another quick glance over to me. I guess to see if I was crying or something. Instead, I fumbled the umbrella on the floor with my feet.
“I heard that happens. And I can kind of relate. I lost my father to cancer five years ago.” He shared. “My mom lives in Memphis. I try to go up and visit as much as possible.”
“Is that where you’re from
?” I asked with a subtle attitude.
I looked up to follow the windshield wipers to be hypnotized, anything to mentally check out from the bad reality.
“Yea. I decided to move to Atlanta for college. Loved it so much, I settled here for good.”
Settled and GOT MARRIED! I thought as I continued to stalk the wipers.
The swishing movement back and forth blocked the lusting force from dragging my face back to his eyes again.
The rain eased its wrath as the sun crept through the clouds. Darren’s phone rang as soon as we drove up to my building. He sent the call to voicemail and unlocked the doors.
“Thanks again for the ride, Darren. I appreciate it.” I smiled and opened the door.
My mind was in a bad headspace, nevertheless, I wanted to show that I was grateful. Although he dropped a bomb on the fantasy, I was glad he at least saved me from the rain. He nodded with a dimpled, closed-mouth smile.
Before I had a chance to walk towards the building, I heard him shout my name. The passenger window was down, with his amazing eyes on me as I turned around.
“Hey, we should go to lunch sometime.” He yelled out.
What tha hell?! I thought.
Having never been alone with a married man before, I didn’t know if going to lunch would be okay. However, it WAS the deep dimpled, teddy bear eyed, Darren.
“Sure. Ju-Just let me know when.” I said, weirded out and surprised.
I paused in place, waiting for him to say something that would make the lunch invite make sense. But that explanation went unsaid.
“Okay. Enjoy your evening,” he smiled then rolled up the window.
“You too. Goodnight.” I waved.
I stayed in the parking lot, flustered at the lunch suggestion. The Porsche drove away, leaving me to feel fragments of rain competing with the peeking sun. A loud fire truck woke me up, reminding me I was home, and to get inside.
As soon as I walked in, I tossed my backpack on the sofa and headed straight to the kitchen to warm up leftovers. All I could think about was Darren. I knew I shouldn’t have been, because he was married. But there was still a little piece of my fantasy willing to hold on and imagine the possibilities. In an attempt to shake him from the brain, I decided to clean while Chicken Alfredo swirled in the microwave. By cleaning, I pushed unpacked boxes from one corner to another to make more space in the living room.
The Perfect Sin Page 3