Although I tried to think of other things, my unusual ride home with Darren loomed. The unanswered questions raced heavily. Why would he offer ME a ride? Why did he want to get together for lunch? What was his deal? Why in the hell did he have to be married!?
From what I’d seen, Darren was the perfect man. Educated, successful career, a gentleman, and so sexy. No wonder he was married. The man was a GREAT catch. Lucky Mrs. “Teddy Bear Eyes”.
Chapter 4: Lunch and Learn
Two weeks passed after the ride home from Darren. I counted each day waiting for lunch plans. At first, I felt guilty for thinking about him so much. Lusting after a married man can be demonized in most moral codes. But I didn’t have a man to think about. Kevin was out of the picture and I hadn’t met anyone new to fill up space in my lonely heart. There was no harm in just... thinking. And the man WAS attractive as hell. How could I deny myself a little eye candy and fantasies? I wasn’t acting on them at the time.
But on the other hand, that was just my luck, I met a MAN, a real, living, breathing MAN and he was taken. Though initially disappointed by the soul sinking blow, the shock slowly wore off, and I was back into the adoration of dimples, teddy bear eyes, and enunciated words escaping from his lips.
Since we didn’t immediately follow up on the proposed lunch, I brushed it off as him being the type who suggests hanging out, but never follows through. Either way, I was confused yet captivated by the idea.
His voice didn’t carry through the office as frequently as before. I started to wonder if he was on vacation or moved on to a better job. I subconsciously wished it wasn’t the latter. I knew I couldn’t have Darren, but feeling him around the office made my days better.
As soon as I walked in, there was Miss Alice, waiting at my cube.
“Hi,” I sighed, anticipating invasive questioning.
“Morning, Jenn! There’s a team-building seminar happening downstairs...”
She rambled as I maneuvered around to my desk. Any other person would understand that early morning conversations were a “no-go”. Not Miss Alice. She didn’t care if you were in the middle of saving people from a fire. If something was on her mind, she’d find you and tell it.
“Is it mandatory?” I asked side-eyeing her with a smile.
“Nope. But they serve breakfast and lunch. It lasts until 3.” She nudged me with that bony arm. Luckily, she hit my backpack before I took it off.
“Everyone on the team is going,” she continued in a high-pitched voice. “You should come too. Get a free day from work, and you’ll get to meet people in other departments.”
Two weeks prior, I would have jumped at the idea, figuring Darren would be there and I could meet him. But we had our introduction, and I knew enough about the mysterious wonder to stay away.
“I think I’ll sit this one out. I have a lot of web fixes to finish before tomorrow.”
It was the truth, but I was efficient enough to go to the seminar and complete the job before leaving for the day. Sitting at a seminar to build comradery and trust between people I wasn’t connecting with, didn’t sound appealing. I’d rather sit alone with my music.
Miss Alice’s face wrinkled the wrinkles already set in from old age. “Awe no! Are you sure? We’re gonna miss you,” she begged.
“Yes, I’m sure. Next time, I promise.”
That was a promise I knew I was going to break. I had no interest in meeting anyone else in that office. Every person, besides Kelly, had let me down, slowed me down, or aggravated the hell out of me.
Miss Alice kept her pouty face on me setting up my laptop. Realizing I wasn’t going to change my mind, she checked the time and walked away.
“Peace and quiet. Thank you, God!” I celebrated.
Headphones were on, and so was my favorite playlist that helped me zone out. I was going to have a good day in the office, and all it took was a seminar offering free food to the corporate minions.
Two hours into my work, and I was almost done. I was about to do some online window shopping when I received a notification from the company’s instant messaging system. The name Darren McCray flashed at the bottom right of the screen along with a small chat box.
There was only one “Darren” I knew who worked there. Before opening the chat, I said a short prayer that it wasn’t anyone other than the one I wanted to hear from.
Darren McCray: Good morning Jenn. Are you available for lunch today?
“It’s him! Thank you, GOD! Wait, I can’t take this seriously.” I whispered to myself.
I looked around to see if anyone passing by heard me. Luckily, the area was almost clear, except for myself and five other people scattered on the other side of the room. Calming down from the raging teenage excitement, I replied.
Jennifer Steele: Sure. What time?
Darren McCray: I have a meeting in a few minutes, but I’m free at 1. Is that okay with you?
I paused to come up with a response that didn’t sound like an anxious woman on the constant search for love.
Jennifer Steele: That’s fine.
I gave a silent salute to my cool and short reply. No signs of fondness in those two words.
Darren McCray: I’ll meet you in the lobby.
Jennifer Steele: k.
Although I ended the chat with an unenthused one letter reply, I reread the chat a dozen times. It was only 10:30, so I had time to regain control over my emotions before the “lunch date”.
I wore a hip-hugging dress, knee-length of course, but tight enough to leave a good impression on men. Darren wasn’t the gawking type; he kept his wandering to a split-second glance with no reaction. The kind where he could be doing backflips inside, but the poker face wouldn’t allow it to show. I could only imagine how his mind spoke words hidden behind the eyes of professionalism. Although I didn’t have a chance in hell to win him over, I at least wanted him to think I looked good.
I couldn’t stop watching the clock; counting down the minutes until lunchtime. To him, it was grabbing a bite to eat with a new coworker. To me, a piece of my fantasy came true. A fantasy that I needed to let it go. I had to find my own man, not lust after another woman’s husband. Still, he had to be the imaginary man until reality gave me what I desired.
In between working and waiting, I conjured conversation starters that would keep him interested. I’d never been fortunate enough to converse with guys whom I felt were out of my league. Most men I came in contact with were on my level or lower.
I’m what people would classify as unconventional. Smart and fun to be around, but not the usual lady that is seen on the arm of a man like Darren. I love art and all things technology. He was a suit and tie guy with a business, sports, and political brain.
Ten minutes before lunchtime, I rushed to the bathroom for one final look. I fixed my hair, straightened my dress, and made sure there were no unwanted guests in the crevasses of my teeth from the granola bars I ate earlier.
By 1:05 pm, I stepped off the elevator and into the lobby. Darren was there, leaning on the receptionist’s desk typing on his phone. He wore a black suit with a purple tie. His pants fit in a “Dapper Dan” style which made me swoon the second I saw him.
I walked towards him hastily with a semi-smile, “Sorry, I’m late.”
He slightly acknowledged me with a swift head lift, then back to the phone. “It’s okay. I just got down here myself.”
The demeanor was distant. I waited until he was done typing before I continued.
“Do you have a place in mind?” I pulled at my dress.
Briefly looking up again, unaware of the dress I tugged in the right places, just for him, he replied. “We can go to this new place around the corner. Do you mind walking?”
He obviously cared more about what was on the iPhone than me.
“I don’t mind,” I chuckled. “It’s a nice day out.”
As we walked outside, no words were spoken. I racked my brain trying to think of the conversation starters I rehearse
d earlier. Being in his presence made me forget, and the silence between us didn’t help jog my memory.
“That meeting took up my entire morning,” he dropped his hands and scoffed, keeping the phone at his side.
Good. He spoke first. I thought, shifting my eyes around.
“So, how was your meeting?” I asked to start a conversation that would hopefully end in us laughing together.
“Long. Boring. Same old stuff. Giving me more work to do,” he laughed and looked around before we crossed the street. “How’s your day going so far?”
We crossed in sync. More like I was trying to keep up with his long legs.
“Eh, pretty good. Just fixing things I didn’t break,” I looked down at my feet as I replied, listening to my cheap heels scrape the pavement.
Construction work in the area left bits of concrete and gravel on the ground. I wouldn’t dare to think of how I could recover tripping in the middle of the street.
“I know how that is,” he looked straight ahead as we stepped onto the sidewalk. “Seems like that’s all I do these days. Fix problems I don’t cause.”
“So what department are you in?” I could have kicked myself for asking about work. That definitely wasn’t going to make him smile.
“Accounting. I’m the director of the department. Got the position eight months ago and I’m STILL cleaning up the mess from the previous director, Bruce.” Darren’s face crumpled. I imagined that he was thinking of everything on his plate.
I sensed he was under a great amount of pressure, being one of the few black men in charge around the office. People don’t understand the unnecessary stress the corporate life places on professionals of color and women. It’s sad. Always having to do extra to prove yourself equal. Getting blamed for things you didn’t do. And don’t even think about standing up for yourself, you’ll then be stamped as the belligerent one. Trying to explain the black experience at work is even more exhausting because people just don’t want to see it.
“Oh. That’s rough,” I stepped over chunks of concrete; sneaking a few glances at him. I wanted to see if those dimples were going to come out and play.
“It is. Seems like that’s all I have time to do now is work.”
His face relaxed a bit, I wanted to think because he remembered that we were about to have a nice lunch together. In all honesty, it could have been because we were getting further away from the office.
“Sounds like you need a vacation,” I suggested, relaxing along with his mood.
“Thinking about taking one soon. I know I’ve earned one or three,” he laughed hard at his joke.
Darren’s laugh was deep and geeky. Almost as if he was about to snort, but his smoothness held it back. It was sexy to me no matter how it came out through his diaphragm. I laughed too, no longer worried about tripping over whatever was on the ground. If I fell, he’d be polite enough to catch me and it would’ve provided the chance to feel his hands on my body.
“Table for two please,” Darren told the hostess while holding up two manly, elongated fingers as we walked in.
My mind went into lust land, wondering how those fingers would feel inside of me. Reaching my spot as I gasp in euphoria. I cleared my throat to wipe away the “fantasy fingering” daydream and checked back into the present time. Only so I wouldn’t be standing alone in my thoughts as they walked to the table.
The hostess led us to a booth in the back of the restaurant. He waited for me to sit before he sat down. I watched him sit and fought the urge to look for a bulge in his pants.
“You been here before?” he asked getting comfortable in the seat across from me.
I shook my head, shaking away “the bulge” thoughts.
“I came here last week with a friend of mine and she said the salmon was really good.” He shifted his eyes back to the phone.
Hmmm. So basically, he takes women to lunch a lot. Just GREAT! I thought to myself. Why in the hell am I even here?
“I always eat salmon when I go out to eat,” I smiled softly. “Think I’ll get something different this time.”
“They have a good selection,” he laid the phone on the table face up, tapping the screen to open a new message. Then his eyes lifted to meet me. “You know what you want to drink?”
“Lemonade,” I replied with a straight face as his eyes departed me to look at the phone.
I sighed and looked out the window. There was no point in giving him any more attention than he was giving me. I would have pulled out my phone too, but it was already on the battery life of 2%. I glanced back over to him, eyes with a blank stare. He didn’t notice, just adjusted his suit jacket, and typed with one finger. Fortunately, the phone received a break once the waitress came over to give us menus.
“Welcome to Stylis. I’m Rachel, and I’ll be your server this afternoon. Can I get your drink orders?”
As she spoke, Darren gave her his full attention with a smile. The dimples peeked and I became jealous. “She’ll have a lemonade and I’ll take a sprite.”
“Okay, I’ll get those right out,” the waitress said then walked away.
My face went back to the window. I no longer cared about being there, just wanted to eat and go. Cars and pedestrians moving about served as entertainment because Mr. “Teddy Bear Eyes” had no time for me.
“It's work,” he laughed. “I’m not ignoring you.”
“Huh?” I replied, faking a surprised expression, whipping my head around.
“I caught that face,” his laugh grew deeper.
I couldn’t help but join in on laughing. It was so infectious.
“Other than system failures, how have you been enjoying your new position?” he asked softly.
And just like that, I had his full attention, and those teddy bear eyes sucked me back in. My nonchalant attitude faded and the atmosphere lightened.
“I really like it.” My eyes brightened. “I’m learning a lot, and I think it could be a place where I can work my way up.”
Darren snickered at my response, rubbing his goatee with his thumb and index finger.
“Jenn, you sound like you’re on an interview. Don’t worry, Michael didn’t send me to lunch with you to get hidden information.”
I laughed to myself, thinking about his statement. The response indeed sounded like Interview Prep 101.
“Honestly,” I sighed. “Everyone on my team works my damn nerves!”
“That’s more like it. I get it. They can be a bit much sometimes.” He agreed. “Imagine having to manage a team full of them.”
“Dang, is it that bad?”
“Most days I can deal with it. But this morning I had to suffer through a meeting set up by one of my managers. Man, I wanted to run out of there.”
He relaxed even more in his seat as if the guard of the professional sex symbol was finally shedding. Darren needed a buddy to release his work frustrations. And I was willing to be just that.
“Let me guess, it was one of those meetings that could have been a one-sentence email?” I said, resting my elbows on the table.
“Exactly!” He leaned forward a little, with his eyes widened, “I don’t know how much longer I can take it.”
“You’re the Director. So that’s what you do, direct the team to stop scheduling pointless meetings.” I suggested, crossing my legs.
My vagina did some strange throbbing when he leaned forward with those eyes. Had to keep Miss Kitty at bay.
He looked up, probably thinking about how to execute my idea professionally, then nodded. “That’s the most sensible thing I’ve heard all day, Jenn. I should have pulled you into that meeting.”
“You should have. I would have whipped them right into shape,” I snapped my fingers and laughed. “Wait, they didn’t want to partake in the team-building seminar?”
He shook his head. “Can’t, it’s mid-month. The executives want a report and a presentation to determine the needed improvements in the budget. A new initiative to help allocate company
funds. You didn’t want to go?”
“No, I needed some quiet time. Miss Alice is sweet but she’s nosy as hell, talkative as hell, and always finds a way to...”
“Sneak up on you when you least expect it?” Darren finished my sentence.
It was good to know that I wasn’t the only one around the office the “old soul” harassed.
I chuckled and pointed at him. “Yes! Oh my God, you too?!”
He nodded, giving me deep dimples with tightly pursed lips.
I was too into his eyes and dimples that I quickly forgot we were there for lunch. I didn’t need rehearsed conversation starters to keep him interested. All I had to do was be myself. There was no pressure of impressing him, because no matter what, he had a wife at home. I just had to lighten up, and enjoy lunch with a new friend from work.
“What are you thinking about ordering?” He tapped the menu.
I scanned the menu and picked the first thing I saw in the entre’ section.
“I think I’ll get the chicken parmesan,” I replied rubbing my hands together. “Haven’t had that in a long time.”
“I’m in the mood for fish.”
His dimples teased me when he tucked his bottom lip to say the word “fish”. And his eyes did a sexy squint after a few blinks. The type of squint would be followed by wet lips, a bare chest, and a sexual encounter. Damn! Damn! Damn! That man!
The waitress came back with drinks just in time for me to stop lusting again.
“Ready to order?” Rachel asked, placing them on the table.
“She’ll have the chicken parmesan, and I’ll have the lemon pepper tilapia. Can I change the sides to broccoli and brown rice? It’s fine if there’s an extra cost.” Darren requested, showing more dimples.
I caught myself making a goofy expression while he completed the order. I quickly wiped the smile off my face and pretended to look at something interesting on my phone that was down to 1%.
The Perfect Sin Page 4