The Perfect Sin

by The Blakk Dahlia

  “How does one smell like an airplane?” he laughed. “You’re so cute.”

  We kissed, again, before I headed to the shower. Darren’s lips were pillows of gold, and his masculine hands were all over my back. I HAD to pull away because if I didn’t, he’d end up in the shower with me. I didn’t know how I was going to survive the trip without giving in. But I was determined not to. For his wife’s sake. Crazy thought process, right? Although I allowed myself to be with him and kiss him, I looked out for Mrs. McCray by not sleeping with her husband at that moment.

  “Take your shower baby. I have to make a few phone calls.” He grabbed his cell and walked out on the balcony.

  I watched him look at the scenery as he talked on the phone. I wondered if he needed to check in with his wife.

  “He better be telling a good lie,” I mumbled. “Can’t ruin this trip for the both of us.”

  After my shower, I came out to find Darren STILL on the balcony talking on the phone. His body language confirmed that he was having a heated discussion. It seemed as if the excuse for being in Puerto Rico wasn’t going over too well with the wife. I watched him until a weird feeling hit my stomach. I couldn’t allow the argument to disrupt my vacation. I wanted to be there, with him, and the wife just had to deal with it. She could have said “no”, but she accepted his excuse.

  I made my way to the minibar to assess the liquor inventory. A drink was the only cure to ease the eerie feeling. If he wanted to argue with his wife, that was on him. I was determined to have a good time.

  “Hey, are you drinking without me?” Darren joined me at the minibar. “You weren’t going to wait for me, baby?

  I didn’t want to look at him. All I wanted at that time was a drink to forget about the scene on the balcony.

  “I was but... you were still on the phone with someone,” I snubbed. “Seemed important.”

  While mixing the drink, I realized the bizarre stomach ache was jealousy. Instead of waiting for me as I emerged from the shower, Darren decided to argue with his wife.

  “What’s wrong baby?” he turned my face towards his, then looked away. “Look, that phone call... Don’t worry about it. Come on now, cheer up.”

  “I’m fine,” I pulled away. “Just waiting for you.”

  My pouting must have made him feel guilty. Good. I wanted it to. He chose this “thing” between us, and it was up to him to make BOTH women in his life feel special.

  “Don’t act like this is a mistake,” he said with a worried look on his face.

  “I’m not,” I took a sip and walked a few steps away from him, “You were busy on the phone.”

  I heard Darren exhale sharply behind me.

  I looked over my shoulder and continued snubbing. “Talking with the wife?”

  “Come here, baby.” He hurried behind and pulled me close. “This isn’t the conventional, ethical, practical thing but, I can’t fight how I feel for you. EVERYTHING I tell you is real. EVERYTHING I do for you....I do it because I want to see you happy. You’ve told me what you’ve been through. I just want to do my part in making things better. Can you let me do that? I don’t want to hurt you baby, and I can’t see myself letting you go.”

  Darren cuddled me from behind, waiting for a reply.

  “So, what next? We have this trip, then you go back to your family and I only get you a few nights a week. It’s fine now, but...one day, it’s not going to be enough. I want you, Darren. The reality is, we’re hurting someone to have what we want. And the crazy thing is, I’m starting to be okay with it.” I confessed.

  “Let me deal with what’s going on at home,” he kissed my shoulder. “You don’t need to burden yourself with that. I created this. You aren’t doing anything wrong.”

  “You’re wrong, Darren,” I turned around, bothered by his words. “I HAVE to take on the burden. What if you wake up one day and...”

  “Stop,” he placed his hand over my lips, “Don’t say it.”

  I moved his hand to continue. Ocean-wave wrinkles formed on his forehead. I had a feeling he thought our conversation would lead to the end of us, right there in Puerto Rico. But, I was NOT getting on a plane to go back home. Darren just needed to understand my feelings in the matter.

  “I can say ‘no more’, and walk away. However, I’m not hurting myself in the name of ‘doing the right thing’. You have to think ahead, and know what you’re going to do,” I demanded.

  “That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I want all of you, baby. And I want you to have all of me.”

  My face went from sad to confused. My mind raced drastically. What does that mean? Is he thinking of leaving his wife and daughter for me? For me!?!? A flighty coworker who was in the process of getting her life together?

  In the midst of deep thought, our lips found each other again. That kiss was just what I needed to drop the sour attitude and resume enjoying the trip.

  “I’m taking a shower, baby. Can you have me a drink ready when I get out?” He rubbed my face.

  “Sure babe. And hurry up I’m ready for that surprise,” I smiled.

  “I will. I know you’ll love it. See you in a minute, baby.”

  I blew him a kiss, then went to make his drink. I left the drink in his room, then ventured out on the balcony to get a better view of the water. I’d never been to Puerto Rico nor traveled with a man before. It was all so foreign to me. Confusing, exciting, and new.

  As the vodka started to set in, I became more “in the moment”. Thoughts of what Cheryl could have been going through faded, while the anticipation of Darren’s surprise took its place.

  Then it dawned on me. Neither my friends nor my sister knew I was out of town. We were a secret. I couldn’t brag to anyone about him. Samantha was too judgmental and opinionated. While Kassandra was a horrid reminder of how temporary my “relationship” was. Marie lost her husband to cheating, no understanding there. I had no one to talk to about it, except Darren. And HE was the center of the issue at times.

  I left the balcony and went to the minibar for another drink. Darren emerged from the shower in a towel. Water dripped from his face onto his chest, down to his pelvis, covered by the white Egyptian cotton. I tried to be subtle while peeking at him walking around his room with the scotch in his hand. He finally caught me glancing, and leaned on the bedpost with a sneaky smile.

  “Hurry up!” I yelled out to him.

  “This could go a lot faster if you came in here to help me get dressed,” he teased.

  “I think you can manage by yourself.” I rolled my eyes, then walked to my room.

  Darren’s big surprise was a sunset sail on a yacht. It was the two of us, the captain, and a crew of three. As I stepped on, the luxury took my breath away. It was like a moving apartment below. Modern furniture, classy décor, and beautiful artwork. Like the kind we saw at the art show he invited me to. I wondered if he picked it out just for me to admire. Knowing him, he did.

  No expense was spared on this major treat. Back on the deck, delicious food was waiting for us. Which was great because I was starving after the plane ride, shopping trip, and minor drama back at the hotel suite.

  The new bikini was very revealing, so I decided to wear a sheer cover-up so Darren wouldn’t be enticed. However, the way things were going between us, I could wear a sweat suit and turn that man on.

  After we ate light snacks and appetizers, I leaned on the rail watching the waves move about, while Darren spoke with the captain. Although I tried to keep my assets covered, the wind had other plans. The sheer material danced in the air, exposing everything that didn’t fit in the swimsuit.

  “I take it that you’re enjoying this surprise?” a familiar sexy voice said from behind.

  I turned my head, getting a side-eyed view of him. “I am. Thank you.”

  He moved closer, pulling my hair to the side, and kissed me while my eyes went back to the waves. The kisses left electric tingles. His hands moved to my waist massaging my side. I turned to him,
wrapping my arms around his neck.

  “This is so amazing, babe,” I said through a huge smile. “Being here with you. I love it!”

  “Yes, it is amazing. Jenn, I have feelings for you. Feelings that I want to explore.” Darren said candidly.

  “I have feelings for you too,” I disclosed.

  Those words freely flowed between us. No thinking or hesitation, just immediate reciprocation uncovering truths.

  On the yacht ride, we fell deeper for each other. My common sense must have stayed back in Atlanta because I didn’t have a moral notion stopping me. I made rules, and his surprise erased each code of conduct one by one.

  After the revelation, we kissed, and I held him as close as I could. Our tongues guided one another, our lips ventured to each other’s necks, and our hands rubbed every inch of skin. I untied my cover-up and took it off, fully exposing my bikini to him. Darren stopped, admiring my body. His dimples embedded in the charming smile, and those amazing eyes undressed me. I desired his hands to do the same.

  “Isn’t there a room somewhere below?” I pointed around the deck.

  “Yea, why?”

  “I want to lay with you.”

  The teddy bear eyes widened. “You sure? The sun is about the set, Jenn. We’re going to miss it if we’re downstairs.”

  I swiftly looked away to think for a split second. I wanted to watch the sunset, but that could be saved for the next day.

  “I don’t care.”

  Darren reluctantly stepped back. The struggle between right and wrong played out all over his face. “Wait. Don’t rush into this.”

  “I’m not rushing, Darren,” I begged, taking a step closer.

  “I don’t want you to regret it,” he backed away.

  “I know what I want,” I stepped closer.

  “I know you do. However, I want to give you what you need.” He stroked my face. “Let’s enjoy the sunset. Dinner will be out coming out soon, and I don’t want to ruin this for you by jumping into bed. My feelings are real, and so is my life back at home. I need to figure things out first.”

  I nodded, lowering my head away.

  We walked to the other side of the yacht to have dinner. The sun didn’t go down without putting on a beautiful show, just for us. The sky reflected colors of purple, orange, and blue. Slowly dancing in formations of creative works. All arranged in a fitting masterpiece for a romantic evening. Although it was a beautiful sight, I couldn’t help but regret that we didn’t lay together as I suggested.

  “Darren, what is it about me?” I asked while we waited for dessert.

  He wiped his mouth with the cloth napkin, then sat it in his lap.

  “You’re reserved, mystic, bold, and confident. I love your passion for art, how you can look at a canvas with random colors and see your soul in it,” he smiled just thinking about it, then continued. “I love your smile, and that nervous laugh you did when we first met. I even love that forehead I tend to kiss all the time.”

  “Love. It seems you love a lot of things about me,” I replied with my eyes on the table.

  “I do.”

  I lifted my head to find his sexy eyes on me. I couldn’t contain my excitement.

  “What is it about me?” he asked, then chuckled.

  “You’re very different. But, in a good way. I’ve never met a guy that was both down to earth and well put together at the same time. Hard-working, driven, easy-going, and I love that geeky laugh you do.”

  “I DO NOT have a geeky laugh!” he replied, before letting out a geeky laugh, proving himself wrong.

  “See. There it is!” I teased. “It’s sexy. Darren, everything is so natural and effortless with you. I can just be myself, and you’re okay with it. That’s rare to find, you know?”

  “Damn, didn’t know that,” he said, then tucked his bottom lip.

  “Guys I’ve dated in the past made me feel like I had to be who they wanted me to be; just to be considered for their heart. You make me feel like I’m enough.” I asserted,

  “Because you are, Jenn.” His eyes dug deeper into me. “You are enough for me.”

  I blushed, moving my hair behind my ear. “You’re enough for me, Darren.”

  “Why thank you!” He sat back in the chair, folding his arms.

  “If only...” I paused to bring us back to reality.

  “If only what?”

  “If only this could be...something real,” I replied in a lowered tone.

  Darren sat up straight, then leaned towards me. “This is real.”

  “How? Yes, we keep talking about this, but feelings are involved now. How am I supposed to be happy in this situation when we don’t even know what it is?”

  A crew member came out with a huge tray filled with an assortment of desserts. He then refilled our wine and went back to the kitchen.

  “Angel, your secret admirer...” I started, then glued my eyes to the delectable sweets.

  He leaned back again, “Oh no, Jenn. I’m not trying to entertain her, I...”

  “Just hear me out.” I continued. “She was asking a lot of questions the other day. And it had me thinking about whether or not I was single. Am I? Do I go out and date while you’re at home, being a husband? I don’t want to, but...what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Wait for you? You’re not leaving your wife. At least not for me.”

  Darren’s expression turned serious. I was laying a heavy burden on him, and all he wanted to do was enjoy a sunset with me.

  “Would you wait for me?” he asked, returning the heavy load.

  I was floored. He had the nerve to ask that? It was insulting to hear at first.

  “What do I look like to you?” I shrieked. “Why would you ask me that, Darren?”

  I rested my arms on the table, to ensure I heard clearly.

  Keeping his cool, Darren cleared his throat before continuing. “If it were an option to wait for me, would you do it?”

  “You need to elaborate,” I demanded. “Fast!”

  “Jenn, you said it yourself. One day, all of this won’t be enough for you. If I were to be in a position to give you more, would you wait for it to happen?”

  He was serious as if he’d been thinking about that very thing. When I laid out all of my demands and put the pressure on him to figure things out, I didn’t actually expect him to consider leaving his wife so soon. I just needed to show him that I was to be treated with respect and not a side-piece.

  I shook my head. “I don’t know, Darren. What you’re telling me doesn’t make sense. Just spit it out. Do you have a plan of action now?”

  “This was supposed to be a friendship. And that was it. However, feelings arrived and are steadily growing. I’m not letting you go and you’re not letting up so, we have to start thinking about options for us.” He explained, locking his gaze on my somber face.

  I then crinkled with confusion. I was a little annoyed with him, but mostly at myself for moving so fast without a plan of action of my own.

  “So, me waiting for you is option number one?”

  He shrugged. “It’s a thought. I need to know if I shake things up at home, you’ll still be by my side.”

  Of course, I wanted to be by his side, but I wasn’t sure if Darren was serious, getting caught up in the moment, or just blowing smoke up my ass so I would shut up and get back to appreciating his surprise.

  “Let’s get through this trip first.” I shook my head, tossing my napkin on the table. “I can’t answer that right now.”

  Darren was disappointed, but I couldn’t lie to him.

  “Fair enough.” He nodded, returning his back to the chair. “I understand.”

  Puerto Rico had become a roller coaster of emotions. I was beyond happy with the confessions of feelings but baffled with the thought of Darren insinuating that I consider waiting while he figured out how to leave his wife.

  The yacht sailed us back as things were a bit shaky between us, but we made the best of the “ride” home. I was tired
and ready for bed, along with time alone to think.

  “I’m going to bed, Darren. Thanks for everything today. I had a great time!” I said as we entered the suite.

  “I’m glad you did,” he said, giving a half-smile. “Goodnight, Jenn.”

  He kissed me on the forehead, then headed to the minibar.

  “You staying up?” I asked, watching his every move.

  “For a little while,” he mumbled, fumbling through bottles.

  “Okay.”

  I knew what he was about to do. Check-in with the wife. He had to.

  I hit the shower for some hot water therapy. Part of me wanted Darren to hear the steamy drops falling from my body to the floor of the tub and be enticed to join me. All I had were fantasy thoughts of his hands moving smoothly up and down my body. Exchanging wet kisses as the four play intensifies into kinky love making. As I fantasized, I waited for him. And waited until I felt stupid for wishing for a moment that wouldn’t come.

  I slipped into a sexy nighty, then into bed. Sleep didn’t come as soon as I wanted. After tossing and turning, I stepped into the common area to see if Darren was still there. He wasn’t. I overheard him talking on the phone in his room. The door was cracked, and I was able to glance at him laying across the bed in the dark room, lit up by the TV. I moved closer to hear while staying out of sight.

  “Yea, it’s cool. Really nice out here,” he said scratching his leg. “I think she’d like it. Maybe when she’s a little older to do more activities or something.”

  Darren laid in bed, half-naked. I discreetly moved around to catch another angle of his body in boxer briefs. It was like watching a Playgirl magazine spread.

  “How’s my baby girl doing today? Good... Is she starting that dance class soon?... Why didn’t you tell me?... I would have paid for it... Let baby girl dance if she wants to. It’s not a big deal Cheryl,” he said in a firm tone.

  Just when I thought another argument was about to take place, he laughed. Hard. So, I’m standing there, spying, and he was in bed, laughing on the phone with his wife. The jealous pain came back to my stomach. I couldn’t take anymore. I left Darren to his conversation and shuffled back to my room. Soon after, I heard footsteps near my door.