The Perfect Sin

by The Blakk Dahlia

  The massage turned into his hands on my waist moving me back and forth with the thrusts of his pelvis. I dropped my champagne glass into the water and held on to the sides of the tub. Loud moans, his name being shouted repeatedly, and water sloshing alongside our bodies filled the room. It was quick, yet satisfying. I felt it when he was about to cum, he hugged me from behind tightly, as if he were bracing for an explosion. In which, it was.... inside of me! His head collapsed on the back of mine, as the beads of sweat from his forehead mingled with my wild hair in a ponytail.

  “Ohhh, Ms. Steele.” He groaned and panted. “I think I’m officially addicted to you. Don’t ever leave me.”

  “I’m not going anywhere babe,” I replied, rubbing his forearm. “Baby we gotta get out of here before we turn into prunes.”

  “Haha! I don’t want to move.” He whined. “I want to hold you like this forever.”

  “It’s possible.” I smiled and kissed his fingers.

  The “naked party” moved to the bedroom. I straddled him and traced the details of his muscles with my fingertips. Strong hands covered my lower back and squeezed me. His left hand moved to rest on his forehead. I was about to lean down to kiss him, then, I stopped.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked with a look of sexy concern.

  I pointed to the shiny object on his finger. “You have your ring on.”

  Darren sighed with a smile. I knew it aggravated him, still I was tired of that flashy reminder. Plus, I’d just given up the goods so he HAD to do something for me. He slid it off and placed it on the nightstand. That empowered me to continue. The ring was off. Although he was still married, I wouldn’t have to catch random glimpses on his finger while we made love.

  His hands resumed to my body, caressing my breasts; moaning while I rubbed his chest. He arose placing his lips on my nipples. As he sucked each one, electric chills shot throughout my body, causing me to clench onto his back muscles. I tried to rush into the act as he had done before, though, he wouldn’t let me.

  Darren paused to look me in the eyes. “Baby, I want to take my time with you.”

  I couldn’t help but allow it to happen his way. I’d been imagining moments like that since the day I saw those dimples.

  Returning to my breasts, his tongue made a trail up to my neck. Then ended with soft kisses on my lips. I held the back of his head as we kissed, maneuvering my fingers throughout his low haircut.

  “Lay on your back baby.” He instructed in a low, raspier voice.

  I gave him a sexy smirk, then laid down next to him. Darren’s tongue took an adventure making pit stops around my belly button, before hitting between my legs. My body contracted like a hand squeezing a sponge when his tongue vibrated on a highly sensitive area. After I couldn’t take anymore, he switched to French kissing, making the soaked section even wetter. I endured the pleasurable four-play as long as I could. Pulling him up to me, we kissed again. I opened my legs wider, to feel him in the place where his tongue had just danced. I let out a “porn-star” moan, signaling him to just give it to me. He stopped.

  “Baby, are you sure you want this? The first time happened quickly, we can stop if you want. However, I must warn you, once we go down this road again, I ain’t stopping.” Darren said in between heavy breaths.

  The hell was he thinking?!?! I didn’t bother to answer that silly question. I yanked him closer to prove I was serious and ready. The main rule had already been broken in the Jacuzzi tub. Hell, us spending time together and coming all the way out to Puerto Rico was breaking more rules than I’d given. I was tired of the guilt, the thoughts of Cheryl, and going back and forth with my feelings. I wanted him. I DESERVED him. There was an open opportunity to have what I desired from my dream guy and I took it with no apologies.

  Another gasp exited my mouth as he entered inside me; as if I were trying to catch my last breath. He filled my walls like I was made just for him. The first go around was so intense and rushed into the moment, I didn’t take time to actually feel Darren. And that’s what he wanted me to do in his bed that night.

  I held tightly onto his back as he slowly grinded into me. I’d never experienced such passion during sex before. My ears tingled as air from his breathing touched them. Before I knew it, my legs were elevated by Darren’s strong muscles.

  “I’ve been waiting so long to make love to you, Jenn,” he whispered, grinding harder. “Damn baby. You feel so good.”

  “Yes!” I replied right before my breathing became irregular.

  My nails clenched into his arms, scratching at every piece of skin and muscle I could grab. Deep dimples flared on his face, knowing he was getting the job done.

  “You want me to go deeper baby?” He breathed out.

  I nodded with my eyes closed, and nails making tiny marks on his arms.

  Moving back to adjust my legs, Darren’s hands caressed my hips before pressing deeper inside. My body wanted to tighten up from the pressure of him. I didn’t let it. I wasn’t going to appear like a “little girl” by running away from the first sensational hit of pained pleasure. I relaxed, granting full control over me. He showed his experience in making my body feel like a fragile gift to be taken care of. My head tilted back as far as my neck would allow to receive whatever thrusts he gave. Mr. Teddy Bear Eyes introduced my vagina to what pleasure was supposed to feel like.

  “Take it baby,” he demanded, towering over, moving his hips into mine.

  I’d never seen that side of Darren. I suspected he was a bit of a freak, but not in the take-charge kind of way. It was sexy, mysterious, and I needed more!

  He laid on top of me, wrapping my legs around his waist then continued. I was ready for his lips to be on me.

  “You’re mine...You know that?” he panted.

  Your mine. Those words almost created a reality of us belonging to each other. Then, common sense crept in to remind me that I couldn’t say the same. There was a ring in the room that represented “vows” to a woman named Cheryl.

  However, I needed to stay within the moment. I wasn’t going to get that time back, so overthinking the logistics of our “situation” had to wait until we landed in Atlanta. So, if Darren wanted us to pretend that we belonged to one another, I was okay with it. As long as he kept coming with deeper penetrations inside of me.

  “I know,” I whispered in his ear. “Take it, baby. It’s all yours. Take it!”

  That was a sign for him to go harder. I wanted him to lose his damn mind within my walls. We were in an exotic place, might as well get crazy in bed. He then buried his head between my neck and the pillows, to deliver what I demanded. I laid there, receiving it all. I deserved good dick from him. He’d stressed me out on the first day with his weird arguments/conversations with Cheryl during our secret vacation.

  A faster pace and his strange exhales told me it was time. Darren’s hand journeyed to my backside drawing me in. With the heat rising from our bodies, we could have melted into one another.

  Out of nowhere, a huge sensation came over me. I grabbed him and screamed. “Darren!”

  “Yes baby, I feel you.” He groaned.

  “Darren!” I called out once more, gripping the sheets.

  In a daze, my legs shook, dropping from around his waist.

  We didn’t use protection. It wouldn’t have been as intimate if we had to stop and think about it. I took my chances by allowing him to release inside of me again. At the time, I didn’t care. Maybe I even wanted some type of interruption that would guarantee Darren in my life forever. Either way, Cheryl’s feelings didn’t consume me. Whatever she couldn’t control, wasn’t my problem.

  He pulled out, dripping his “release” and collapsed next to me. I quickly jumped to lay on top of him. Tracing the outlines of his chest muscles with my fingernails, I thought about how good it would be if I were his woman. I didn’t have the slightest clue how that would happen, but it was heavily on my mind.

  In the beginning, he was eye candy because I didn’t
think he’d ever notice me. Then, we became lunch buddies. Another escalation to a harmless attraction elevating to passionate sex in San Juan, Puerto Rico. So much of my fantasy came true and I didn’t have to create a backhanded scheme. It was all fate. Was it wrong for me to think the affair was destined to be?

  “I want to stay like this for a few more days,” I said, getting my breathing back under control.

  He kissed my forehead. “Me too. Baby.”

  Darren took a few deep breaths with his eyes closed. I prayed that he wasn’t going to sleep. I wanted to stay up and talk. Talk about anything, everything. Just as long as we could be together just a little longer.

  “You sleep?” He tapped me, with his eyes softly closed.

  “Nope.” I giggled, looking directly at him. “Looks like you’re about to be.”

  He opened one eye and rolled it over at me with a grin. “I’m not sleeping. My eyelids are being lazy right now.”

  “Is that what it is?” I chuckled. “Wake up baby.”

  “I’m up, Jenn.” He took a deep breath. “What time is it?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. Late.”

  “How late do you want to stay up?” He yawned, moving his hand back and forth on my spine.

  “I wanna watch the sunrise...with you.”

  Darren tapped me on my thigh. “Get up. Let’s go to the balcony.”

  We shared a big lounge chair with a blanket over us snuggling together. The sun was expected to rise within minutes. That only meant we had a few hours to sleep before heading to the airport. Honestly, I didn’t want to see the sunrise. The new day would put an end to my fantasy come true and throw us back into what we truly were to each other. He, Cheryl’s husband. Me, a coworker. The few nights during the week still belonged to us, but the massive step we took on the trip changed the outlook on what we longed for.

  Darren’s phone alarm went off at 11AM. Five hours before, we had made our way to his bed. I pretended that I didn’t hear it and continued to lay on his chest. I felt him moving his arm to shut it off. Emotions took over with a small tear rolling out from the corner of my eye. I let it fall. I refused to stop holding him to wipe my face.

  “Baby.” His hand gently shook my shoulder. “We gotta get up.”

  “Mmm. I don’t want to.” I whined.

  His arm cramped around me, and another tear fell.

  “I know baby. I’m not ready to leave either.”

  “Let’s just stay a little longer, Darren,” I suggested, this time wiping away the tears so he wouldn’t see it.

  He chuckled as if it were a joke. I already worked out an excuse for calling out of work.

  “I need to get back to my daughter. She’s starting dance classes this week.” He moved his arm to sit up in bed, “We missed breakfast so we’ll have to grab something at the airport.”

  “That’s fine,” I mumbled somberly.

  I got out of bed to go pack up my things. Darren’s hand stopped me.

  “What’s wrong, baby?” he asked, pulling me back in bed.

  “I’m not ready to go back to reality. Need a few more days of this.”

  I tucked my bottom lip to stop more tears. Couldn’t even look at him either.

  “Baby,” Darren grabbed my face and gazed into my eyes. “Just because this trip is over, doesn’t mean WE are over.”

  I nodded, not knowing what to feel. Darren gave me a taste of what it would be like to have more. And I wanted it all, at any cost.

  The ride home from the airport that evening was more bitter than sweet. I was heading back to sleeping alone and only dreaming of him lying in bed with me. The trip solidified my place in his heart. Deep down I left with more confusion. I didn’t know how to behave around him at work. He and I were so out in the open.

  He held me in the back seat of the SUV. I wished the driver would have taken a longer route to allow more time. We pulled up to my apartment building and Darren instructed the driver where to park and wait while he helped me take my bags upstairs.

  “So what now?” I asked, watching him stack luggage in my bedroom. “Where do we go from here?”

  “WE aren’t stopping Jenn. Coming home isn’t going to change a thing. I’m figuring this thing out as we go, baby. I have a daughter to think about.” He explained.

  “I get it. And I know you can’t put a definite timeline on this. Just know I can’t wait forever.”

  “You won’t have to, baby. Sorry, I have to rush,” he grabbed his keys. “I promised my baby girl I’d be home before she goes to bed.”

  I nodded. “Text me when you make it home.”

  I followed him to the front door. He paused and turned to me with his arms wide open.

  “Come here. Kiss me before I go.”

  We kissed so sweetly, stopped to look into each other’s eyes, then kissed again. After I closed the door, tears fell uncontrollably.

  Chapter 10: “Ready” for A Separation

  At work, thoughts of Darren and I making love consumed me. His eyes staring deep into mine, breathing the words: Don’t ever leave me became the favorite parts of our story. Part of me worried that things would be weird between us; possibly changing for the worse. The trip had me craving him more every second that passed. I held steadfast onto his promise of “figuring things out” with his wife for us to be together. The last thing I wanted was to be left feeling like a fool for waiting and believing.

  While in deep thought, Miss Alice came over. By looking at the time displayed on the clock, I already knew what she was going to ask. She forced herself into my cubicle and rested her flat backside on my desk.

  “Hey Jenn, lunch?”

  I wanted to say no, but I desired a distraction from the trip and emotions trailing with it.

  “Sure, Miss Alice,” I smiled. “Why not?”

  Right before gathering my things to leave, I received an instant message from Darren on my computer.

  “Miss Alice, I need to answer this email real quick. I’ll meet you at the elevator.”

  “Okay. Take your time,” she replied in a squealing voice.

  I waited until she was out of sight to open the message.

  Darren McCray: Hey Jenn. I’m sorry, but I can’t come over this week. I’ll talk to you soon.

  The message was very bland, short, and disappointing. That was the last thing I needed based on how I felt leaving Puerto Rico. Something about the message didn’t sit well with me. Usually, when he canceled, an explanation would follow. And that explanation always included him being with his daughter. My mind immediately went to his wife finding out about the trip.

  Is this the beginning of the end? I thought, closing out the message without leaving a response.

  Darren had been spending a lot of time with me. His wife HAD to be suspicious. We went way too far. At that moment I felt, just maybe, I had been played by Darren. He made me believe that he was figuring things out, in my interpretation he was about to leave his wife for me. Silly me.

  They never leave their wives. I whispered to myself.

  A huge headache arose with the adverse thoughts that came from the cryptic message. Then, I thought about our lovemaking in San Juan. He came inside of me. TWICE!

  I can’t be pregnant with his child! I screamed in my head, riding the elevator down to meet Miss Alice.

  To my surprise, lunch with Miss Alice was quite pleasant. Which was a positive turn of events given the ghastly state my mind was in. The “old soul” of the office entertained me and a few coworkers with stories of her moderately wild past in high school. Which paled in comparison to what kids engage in today. However, it was great to have something else besides my non-relationship, relationship to ponder on.

  On our way back into the office, Darren stepped off the elevator. He was completing a call on his cell when I paused, giving a signal that we needed to talk. However, he didn’t stop, only nodded hello and kept walking. My heart sank. It was as if we didn’t share intimate moments days before. We had
dialed back to me being the wandering admirer and he being the Accounting Director who didn’t know my name.

  After his dismissive behavior, I regretted opening that door, and my legs. To me, he was done and I had to find a way to be okay with that. I had no right to be upset because I slept with another woman’s husband. I deserved to feel the pain.

  I immediately recalled the conversation with Kassandra about her married lover. She wasn’t ready to let go, but she had to. I was beginning to know how she felt first hand. Getting a piece of something while imagining the future then all of a sudden, it was stripped away. On top of that, I was afraid that I’d be carrying his child.

  We stepped into the elevator and just when I was starting to feel low, Miss Alice opened her damn mouth, sinking me even lower.

  “Did you see Darren’s wife outside?” she said to another coworker. “It’s been a while since she’s been here. Guess she’s taking her hubby to lunch. Cheryl’s such a nice woman, and their daughter is too precious!”

  What in the hell?!?! I thought to myself. My stomach churned with chunks rising in my throat. The elevator took way too long to get to our floor.

  I walked past his wife without even knowing it! The good memories of Puerto Rico turned into a HUGE mistake. How dare he have a loving weekend with me then parade his wife around the office a day later? And how could we have ended up together anyway, I would have needed to find another job. I wouldn’t have been able to handle walking around the office, known as the woman who broke up “D as in Darren’s” marriage.

  Reaching my desk, I sent him an instant message. It was time to end things for good. We had our fun; my fantasy came true. Darren Calvin McCray needed to fix his marriage and I had to move on with my life.

  Jennifer Steele: I can’t do this anymore. I’m not trying to be the other woman. You don’t have to figure out things for us. Go and be happy with your family.

  I felt proud after sending the message, but my heart ached. I cared for Darren and letting him go wasn’t easy. My focus went back to a project I had been working on for the past two weeks. I didn’t mind Michael’s constant micro-management compared to the gruesome feeling of losing Darren.