Enforcer: Reckless Desires (Wolf Shifter Romance) (Alpha Protectors Book 4)

by Arran,Olivia

  I nodded.

  “This is who you were looking for?” he asked, directing his question at Abel.

  I felt, rather than saw, Abel nod.

  “Good. It’s about damn time.” He turned his attention back to me, the intensity dialing up a notch. “Abe might not be SWAT anymore, but he’s still a brother—whether he likes it, or not. Welcome to the happy family.” With that bombshell, he turned and walked away, leaving me gaping after him.

  I didn’t dare look at Abel as they finished clearing the corridor, didn’t know what to say. I was free. Getts was dead. The Agency had no hold on me anymore.

  And I didn’t have a clue what to do next.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Frankie

  I stared at the door that had slammed in my face. Dez had taken one look at us and hightailed it out of the apartment, a silly grin on her face and suspiciously bright looking eyes. All it had taken was Abel mentioning the name of the bar that the SWAT team was cooling off in. She’d fluffed her hair, adjusted her glasses, and she was gone.

  I was giving her a big fat F for subtlety.

  “Uh … can I get you a drink?” I toed the floor, avoiding meeting Abel’s eyes. Which I knew were looking right at me. I could feel them, drilling into me. Unrelenting, with their—

  “Frankie, come sit down.”

  “What?” Still not looking …

  “Sit down, before you fall down.”

  “I’m fine.” It ended on a squeak when his hand landed on my shoulder, giving me a little shove toward the couch.

  “I’ll make the drinks.”

  Another little shove and I gave in. But I still didn’t look at him. What the hell is wrong with me? I was acting like a virgin school girl with a crush.

  I had barely settled my ass into my usual dent in the couch when a mug brimming with hot, creamy cocoa was waved under my nose.

  My vision blurred as I wrapped my hands around the mug, staring into the curling steam as if it held all the answers. Oh, shit. I’m going to cry …

  “Frankie …”

  Don’t cry … don’t cry … don’t cry … What the hell was going on? I didn’t cry; didn’t crack or wobble or falter—I was strong. So, what the fuck?

  “…Look at me.”

  I can’t. My bottom lip wobbled, the traitor.

  Silence filled the space between us, then the couch dipped as he sat down next to me. “Okay then, I’ll talk.”

  At least he wasn’t running out of the door. Wait, was that what all this was about? I was scared he’d leave me?

  “You probably have a couple of questions after tonight, and you deserve those answers,” he started, then stopped, his hands rubbing a path up and down his jeans.

  Would he leave me? Did I care? I shouldn’t; we hadn’t promised anything, hadn’t whispered of love or a future together.

  “I lived with a woman, about six years ago, her name was Holly—Getts mentioned her.”

  Oh, yeah, I think I remembered her name. It appeared my snark meter was fully functioning again.

  At my silence, he took a deep breath and continued, “She didn’t like what I was, so I changed for her. Took a job with SWAT, lived the suburban dream, tried to be human for her. We got engaged—” he sneered the word, as though it was an insult, “—because she wanted to wait. Turns out she was waiting for someone else. She died because of me.”

  “How?” He didn’t react to my question, so I snuck a look at his face. His brows were drawn, with deep lines furrowing between them and his lips were downturned in a frown. But it was his eyes that held me; so hollow and yet filled with pain and regret. “I don’t believe you,” I added.

  That got his attention. “I tell you I killed my old girlfriend and that’s all you can say?”

  “There’s no way you killed her.”

  “I’m an assassin.”

  “I know.” Okay, that may have come out a little snarky, but he asked for it. “You loved her.”

  “I did.”

  Ouch. “There you go then.”

  He turned in his seat, leaning toward me. “You have that much faith in me?”

  “Not so much faith … more like, I know you. You didn’t do it.”

  He huffed, and I couldn’t decide if it was a pleased sound, or derisive. “Well, you’re wrong. We were driving to a friend’s house for a party and we argued. She demanded I pull over, so I did. I was sick of it, sick to death of all the fights and backhanded insults and hiding. She stormed off. I was already pulling away when I heard the gun go off.”

  “Someone shot her?”

  “No. They missed.”

  I leaned back, eyeing him. “What happened?”

  “I got out of the car and taught the guy a lesson.” He said it simply, like he hadn’t wolfed out and taken on an armed man.

  “Then what?”

  “Holly got scared and ran back to the car. She drove off.”

  “She left you there?”

  He turned his head away, but not before I caught a glimpse of what looked like fear in his eyes. “Frankie, she was scared of me.”

  But, what is he afraid of?

  Hunching forward, he picked at a small rip in his jeans. “She cut the bend too tight, lost control, and went skidding off the road. The car exploded on impact when it hit the bottom of the ridge.”

  “And you?” I indicated his scar, remembering what Getts had said earlier. If he wasn’t in the car when it crashed, then—

  “I went after her, but it was too late. The rescue crew found me hours later, I was already healing but they were trying to be helpful. Lucky me, they started with my face. Scared the shit out of them to see a man covered in third degree burns get up and walk away.”

  “I bet.” I was struggling to process what he’d shared, trying to find a way to convince him it wasn’t his fault. Because it truly wasn’t. It was sad, it shouldn’t have happened, but it wasn’t his blame to shoulder.

  “I should have let her go, should have known to walk away. She’d have still been alive if I had.”

  “But—”

  “She was pregnant, and it wasn’t mine.”

  Oh! “But, how did you—”

  “Shifters are only fertile with their mates.”

  It all made sense, he’d never mated with her because she’d refused. “How did you know?”

  “I suspected, her scent had changed and she was acting even weirder than usual, but I couldn’t be sure. No, that’s a lie, I didn’t want to believe it.”

  “Of course you didn’t.” I paused, wondering how to phrase my next question, but he beat me to it.

  “It was a guy on the team. A human.”

  “She cheated on you with a human?”

  Something in my voice made him turn around. “You find that hard to believe? You’ve seen what I am, what I can be like.”

  “Uh, you’ve got a temper, sure, but so have I.”

  “I’ve got more than a temper.” It was a low growl, but I could tell his heart wasn’t in it.

  Which plain pissed me off. The ghost of his girlfriend could screw off, she’d had her chance and she’d blown it, the least he could do was to stop wallowing and give me his undivided attention. Me—the woman who’d just risked everything for him. The woman who hadn’t blinked an eyelid at the fact that he wasn’t human. The person who’d laughed and fought and fallen head over heels in love with him. Abel. The real him; wolf and all.

  I took a deep breath, summoning my courage. “If we’re having a heart to heart about all the crap things we’ve done; I’ve killed someone, and it wasn’t a target. It was before I was recruited into the Agency.”

  “I know.”

  My mouth dropped open. “You know?”

  “I read your file.”

  “I have a file?” My voice rose, shame flooding me. Telling him on my own terms was one thing, him already knowing … “What did it say?”

  “Not much, and it ended with your death in prison.”

&n
bsp; “Not that—” though the bit about my death was useful to know, I’d always wondered how the Agency had dealt with things, “—the bit about me killing someone.”

  “The report said you stabbed a guy to death.”

  “Twelve times,” I volunteered, not that it was important. He knew. I could see it in his eyes, in the way the gray had softened, deepening until it was almost a cloudy blue. “He didn’t manage it, he tried, but I stopped him.”

  “I know.”

  “Is that in the report too?”

  “No, but I figured it had to have been something bad to break you like that. Frankie, the Agency set you up, they put that guy on you.”

  It was my turn to nod, I’d already figured that out, not that it had done me any good. “He was on top of me and he was so heavy and he stank and his hands were everywhere … then the knife was in my hand.” The words came tumbling out in a rush to set them free. I still didn’t know where the knife had come from, but even now I wasn’t sorry for what I’d done. He’d deserved it. I’d been thirteen.

  “He deserved to die for what he did.” Abel echoed my unsaid words, without a hint of recrimination in his voice.

  Now it was grateful tears pricking my eyes. He understood, he didn’t judge me.

  “And they’d pumped you full of drugs, you were riding high, the adrenaline crashing through your system would have robbed you of the ability to make informed decisions. They stripped you of basic reasoning, whittling it away until all you had left was instinct.”

  I didn’t want to feel relieved, because then it meant owning up to the guilt I had been carrying around, something the man who’d tried to rape me didn’t deserve, but it came anyway. “So, what now?” I whispered, daring to meet his eyes. We’d both put our deepest, darkest secrets out there and laid our souls bare. I leaned toward him, pulled by the look of raw hunger in his eyes.

  My breasts grazed his chest, my nipples hardening under the borrowed cotton.

  “I can think of a couple of things,” he murmured.

  “Like?” It was a whisper of sound, an invitation.

  “That depends on you.” Reaching up, he caressed my cheek, his head lowering.

  “Wait!” I blurted out, jerking away. “Holly was a jackass.” There. I’d said it. Probably inappropriate, but it had been eating away at me ever since I’d seen the look in his eyes. She’d hurt him, made him feel less than perfect because of who and what he was. It probably wasn’t the right thing to think it, but if she were still alive, I’d bitch slap her straight into the next state.

  “Uh …” He blinked at me, not moving. “Can we not talk about her right now?”

  “She was an idiot.” I was warming up, two pokes and a shuffle away from being on a roll.

  “Because she cheated on me?”

  “Uh, duh! She had a hot werewolf at her beck and call, willing to be her sex-slave stud for life, and she chose a human!”

  “Sex-slave stud?” His lips twitched.

  I scowled at him. He needed to take me seriously, couldn’t he see I was right? “What did you see in her anyway?”

  “I thought she was my true mate.”

  “Oh.” His reply sucked the breath from my lungs.

  “But, she couldn’t have been. I was wrong.” His arm came around me, caging me against the couch, his lips inches from mine. He moved so fast, I didn’t have time to react.

  “Really? What makes you say that?”

  “Well, let’s see … my true mate knows what she wants and doesn’t give a fuck what anyone thinks.”

  “She does?” Why was my voice so breathy? Oh, yeah, because I wasn’t breathing.

  “And it sounds like she wants a hot werewolf at her beck and call …” His mouth lowered, dragging my gaze with it.

  “Uh huh?”

  “A sex-slave stud for life …”

  “Yeah?” It came out on a whimper.

  “All she has to do is say yes.” He stopped, hovering over me with eyes dark with need.

  “Me?” I had to check, though I couldn’t see anyone else around here.…

  “You.” It was more a growl than a word.

  He hadn’t said he loved me. “I’m your true mate?”

  “You are.” I had to give it to him, he had the patience of a saint.

  Could I live without declarations of love?

  “Frankie, you’ve got to tell me what’s going on in that head of yours, I’m not a mind reader.”

  “I just … I don’t …”

  A second later, he was standing in the middle of the room, face closed off in an expression that was downright scary. Or, it would have been, if it had ever crossed my mind to be scared of him.

  He turned away and panic gripped me. I fucked up, he was leaving, and the one thing I did know: I didn’t want him to go. “I need to know. You probably think I’m an idiot or foolish, but I need to hear it.” I blurted it out.

  “What?”

  “Do you love me?” I wanted to melt into the cushions and disappear at the incredulous look on his face.

  “Love you?” he echoed.

  “It doesn’t matter if you don’t, I just need to know,” I babbled on, squinting at him from behind my fingers, though I didn’t remember covering my eyes.

  “I’m the idiot. Sweetheart, I worship you. Adore, covet, respect, admire; all of the above. Love? I fell in love with you the first time you tried to kick my ass, and again when you came apart in my arms, and again when you walked away. I’ve loved you for years.”

  My hand fell away, his words sinking in, too much to process. He loved me! “But … why?”

  “Didn’t I tell you? Because I’m an idiot. I was scared you’d never accept me for who I am, scared of making the same mistakes as before, and I couldn’t change again.”

  “I did accept you!”

  “Into your bed, sure. But, into your life? You always left, you never looked back.”

  “Because I couldn’t. It wasn’t safe; I wasn’t safe.”

  “You are now.”

  “How could you have ever doubted how I felt? I thought you were the hottest thing since sliced bread!”

  He chuckled, the sound low and dry. “You do have a way with words, sweetheart.”

  Every time he called me that, my heart jumped a little. “I’m hilarious.”

  “Is there … anything you’d like to say to me?” He looked a little nervous, on edge for some reason.

  The reason hit me. Oh! “I love you too!”

  He peered at me, as though trying to see into my soul. “Really? You’re not saying that because I—”

  “Have you ever known me to lie?”

  “Several times,” he replied with a wry smile.

  I waved off his accusation, meeting his smile with a beaming grin. “So, you know when I’m lying.”

  Seconds ticked by as we stared at each other. “You’re not lying.”

  “I’m not.”

  He stalked toward me, his body language screaming his intentions. “What now?”

  Actually … “I haven’t met your wolf,” I blurted out before I had chance to slap a filter on my mouth.

  Grinding to a halt, he tilted his head, considering me. “Do you want to?”

  Do I— “Damn right, I do!”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Abel

  Her eyes burned into me as I pushed my jeans down and off. Unblinking, she drank me in, her gaze the sweetest caress I had ever felt. I called the shift to me, slipping into the change the way some men don a pair of well worn sneakers, my wolf form as natural and easy for me as the one I wore now.

  The world around me blurred as I dropped into a crouch, fur running over my skin and bones shifting in a smooth, choreographed dance.

  “Wow!”

  In this form I could hear nuances my human ears often missed, hear the throaty catch in her voice.

  My wolf preened under her admiring stare, strutting forward and swishing his tail.

  “You’re so
big!”

  My laughter translated as a coughing chuff.

  She snatched back the hand that had been about to pet me, her heart thudding loud in my ears.

  Not giving her the chance to move or think, I vaulted up onto the couch next to her and laid my head in her lap, placing my paw deliberately over her hand.

  “Oh!” she gasped, followed by a soft huff of air as she relaxed. “You’re a big softie, aren’t you?” Not hesitating, she dug her fingers into my fur, working her way around my head until she hit the sweet spot, right behind my ears. I groaned, wolf translation: whined.

  “You like that?” She scratched harder.

  My eyes rolled back, my tongue lolling out. Yes. When the thought of rolling onto my back floated through my mind, I knew it was time to shift back. The woman was turning me into a damn lap dog! Jumping down off the couch, I padded over to the bathroom door, pawing it with a suitably pathetic whine. When she followed me over, opening the door with a soft click, I smiled a toothy grin and slid inside.

  “You want to pee? I thought—” She broke off as I shifted back to human, the mock frown fading into a small smile. “That was amazing, you’re amazing, he’s amazing!”

  “That’s a lot of amazing,” I joked, shaking off the last of the change and leaning back against the sink.

  She glanced around. “Why are we in here?”

  “We’re filthy.” Twisting to the side, I flicked the shower on, dialing up the heat.

  “We are?”

  Fuck, the way she looked at me.… All big eyed and innocent and wicked, all rolled into one delicious package. My cock twitched to life, the blood rushing south.

  Any doubts I might have had, her reaction to my wolf had wiped them clean away. “I’m going to seduce you, my mate, and this is my way of doing it properly.”

  “Mate?”

  “If you’ll have me?” Panic tightened my chest as I waited to hear the same words Holly had once uttered: I’m not sure, can we wait?

  “Have you? Are you crazy?”

  My back stiffened under the weight of her rejection. Okay, not phrased quite the same way …