White Vengeance

by Susan Edwards

  Renny sat up and ran her fingers over the top of her head. Normally, she slept with her hair unbound, but while traveling, it was easier to just brush it out in the morning, and braid it again. Tonight, she missed the calming effect of being able to run her hands through her hair and over her scalp.

  She didn’t want to be in love. Not yet. Her mind was too full of painful memories, her heart full of regrets and her soul dark with the blood of her parents. In her remote thoughts, she knew she wasn’t to blame, but she wasn’t thinking with her mind these days.

  She dropped her head to her knees. The time had come to tell her family the truth of why her parents had been in that old adobe hut. She was afraid that they’d blame her, hate her even.

  If that happened, then she knew she’d never be able to love. Her family was her life, the lifeblood that flowed in her veins. Without their love, she was incomplete.

  Feeling very exposed and vulnerable, she stood, stepped around her sleeping family and paced on the other side of their camp.

  First things first. Find Matthew. Then tell them all her secret and accept whatever came after that.

  Tyler emerged from the shadows to block her way. “You can’t pace all night, Renny. Go to bed. Get some rest.”

  Renny eyed the moon. There were many hours of nighttime left, too many for her peace of mind, so she skirted around Tyler.

  Tyler reached out and snagged Renny around the waist. “Renny, don’t do this to yourself. It hurts me to see you like this.” He nuzzled her neck.

  “I want you. Like before. More even.” He leaned down, his breath teasing the corner of her mouth.

  Renny went hot from head to toe. She burned where he held her, wanted nothing more than to lean into his embrace and kiss him until only he mattered. Because she wanted it so much, she denied herself that freedom.

  She pulled away and elbowed him gently out of her way. “Go away, Troll.”

  Tyler laughed softly. “Woman of great words, Miss O’Brien.” He gently took her by the elbow and led her to where he’d been sitting.

  He pulled her down. Renny made a half-hearted gesture of refusal. “We can’t.”

  Tyler huffed. “Give me credit, Renny. All I want to do is hold you. Maybe my presence will soothe you and you’ll sleep.”

  Renny snorted. “Bore me to death, maybe, Troll.” She glanced around. “What if someone wakes up and…and sees?”

  Wrapping his arms around Renny, Tyler pulled her in front of him. He immediately started undoing her braid. “Don’t think it matters, baby. They know. Well, the adults know.”

  Renny’s face flamed. She felt the heat creeping up her cheeks. “Not sure I like that,” she muttered, closing her eyes as his hands threaded through her long hair.

  She tipped her head back when he gently tugged. He kissed the side of her neck and she immediately felt her body relax. When he lifted his head, she sighed. Not with disappointment, she tried to tell herself.

  Of course she was disappointed. It seemed natural, her and this man. Like they belonged—fit.

  She grimaced. Just what she needed in her life: an overprotective nanny. When he pulled her into his arms, she let her head rest in the curve of his shoulder, closed her eyes and fell asleep.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Renny’s hair was soft. The strands curled around Tyler’s fingers as he continued to stroke. He loved the feel of her hair spread out across his chest like a rich, red curtain.

  Slowly, he lowered her until she lay with the side of her face pressed to his heart. With moonlight bathing her, she looked peaceful. And so unlike his Renny.

  He smiled and just enjoyed the moment. Her body was relaxed in sleep, her lips soft and so very tempting. He ran a finger over her bottom lip. Her tongue darted out, touched his finger.

  He pulled away but not before he’d felt the tug of desire grip his belly. It was torture to hold her, have her so close he could hear each and every quietly drawn breath.

  As he continued to stroke her hair and her scalp gently, he was taken back in time.

  “Brush my hair, Tyler,” Gracie pleaded.

  Tyler groaned. “Go ask Grant, Gracie. I’m busy.”

  Gracie, her hair in wild disarray, pouted. “He hurts me when he does my hair. And he doesn’t braid so good either.” She held out the ivory-handled brush that had belonged to their mother.

  Staring into her soft, trusting gaze, Tyler knew he was sunk. Again. When it came to his baby sister, he’d do anything. Catching the gleam of triumph in her eyes, he pulled her close and gave her bottom a gentle tap with the back of the brush.

  “Come on. You’re going to be late for school.” He started gently combing out the snarls, from the bottom up.

  “I don’t want to go,” she said.

  Tyler put the brush down, divided her hair into three sections and began braiding it. “Well, you have to.”

  “Why?”

  Adding a dark blue ribbon to the end, he tied it in a big bow then turned her. “Because I want you to be smart when you grow up.”

  “Like you, Tyler?” Her eyes were wide, round, full of love.

  Tyler tweaked her nose. “Yeah, like me. Now scoot. Grant will take you.”

  “I can walk by myself.” Gracie’s eyes turned rebellious.

  “Yeah, I know.” He got to his feet and walked his sister to the door.

  She stopped. “Where’s my books and my pail?”

  “Grant has them. Get going. He’s waiting.”

  Throwing him a haughty glare, she stomped on his foot as she stalked past. “I’m not a baby, you know. I’ll prove it to you.”

  She had, he thought sadly. His and Grant’s overprotectiveness had made her rebel. Fear of their anger and disappointment when she’d hurt herself had made her lie and deceive them. By the time he and Grant had learned the truth, it had been too late.

  A soft murmur brought Tyler out of his thoughts. Like a mother waking at the smallest of sounds her baby makes while sleeping, he had heard Renny’s soft moan. He let his memory of Gracie fade slowly, just as she’d faded from his life.

  He tightened his hold on Renny. He loved this woman, and knew he’d never survive losing her. But he’d learned his lesson with Gracie.

  Slowly, he relaxed his hold a bit. He would not smother Renny and give her reason to rebel and endanger herself just to prove something to him.

  As he sat there with the woman of his heart, he wondered just when he’d fallen in love with her.

  Then he grinned like a fool. “The first time you stomped my foot, I was a goner,” he whispered to Renny.

  Renny felt herself being shaken gently. She burrowed deeper in her blanket. She was warm and comfortable and didn’t want to wake. “Go ‘way,” she mumbled.

  “Wake up, Renny.” Tyler’s voice was a low caress.

  His words penetrated the fog of sleep. She struggled to sit.

  “What?” Sleep cleared immediately. It was time to take her watch. She glanced up at the night sky.

  “I didn’t let you sleep your watch away,” Tyler grumbled.

  “Better not,” she said, yawning. She grinned to herself. The first night he’d let her sleep past her watch, claiming she needed the rest. She’d been furious, and had threatened him with bodily harm if he ever did that again. He hadn’t.

  Tyler stood. “I could sit with you,” he offered.

  Renny took the rifle from him and set it across her lap. She heard exhaustion in the low rumble of his voice, saw his attempts to stifle his yawns. Tyler had given them, her, so much and she’d rarely thanked him.

  She reached out and stroked the side of his face. “No. Get some rest.” She glanced over at her sleeping family. “Shoot, I have to wake Kealan,” she said.

  “I’ll get him. A
nd his bedding?” They grinned at each other, each knowing that Kealan would not be able to stay awake through Renny’s watch. But she’d promised and maybe for the first time truly understood that, as young as he was, he needed to be a part of this.

  Kealan stumbled over to her. He sat beside her, rubbing his eyes. Renny ruffled his soft, reddish curls. “Ready?”

  Sitting up straight, Kealan nodded. “Do I get a gun?”

  Renny and Tyler exchanged amused looks. “No,” they both whispered.

  “Aw—” The rest of his protest was cut off when he yawned.

  “Go to bed, Tyler,” Renny ordered when Tyler swayed. He looked as though he would just topple, he was so tired.

  Tyler leaned forward and kissed her gently. “Call if you need me.” He got to his feet and walked away, swaying with exhaustion.

  At her side, Kealan made gagging noises. “That’s gross,” he said, giving his sister a disgusted look.

  Renny chuckled and put a blanket across his shoulders. “Just wait. Day will come that you’ll be doing your share of kissin’.”

  Kealan leaned against her. “Nope. No way.”

  Surprisingly, Kealan stayed awake for longer than Renny predicted. The two of them talked in low whispers. Then Kealan’s voice drifted off as he fell asleep. He never stirred when Renny laid him back down onto his pallet. She drew her blanket around her shoulders to ward off the nighttime chill.

  The moon drifted across the sky as minutes turned into an hour. Renny kept a close watch, peering into shadows, listening for anything that sounded out of place. She had no problem keeping her mind clear, as she had a duty to perform.

  It was close to the end of her watch when without warning, Maze stood beside her. Renny gaped up at the woman. “What are you doing up?” she whispered, her heart pounding. Renny hadn’t heard her or even seen her get up.

  “Oh, I’m an early riser,” she said softly.

  Renny lifted a brow. “This isn’t early,” she said dryly.

  Maze chuckled then sat beside Renny. Like the rest of them, she slept in her traveling clothing in case they had to move in the middle of the night.

  “How are you doing, child?”

  “Fine.” She met the woman’s steady gaze. Maze was a wonder. She was kind, could cook, traveled well—seemingly without ever growing tired—and had the patience of a saint.

  Caitie, Kealan and Daire adored her, Mattie relied upon her and they all appreciated the way she took care of everything so that the adults could concentrate on finding Matthew.

  Renny wasn’t sure why Maze had jumped in to help them without really knowing any of them, but guessed that the woman felt indebted to Tyler for taking her in.

  “I never thanked you for all your help—”

  Maze cut her off with a wave of her hand and a level gaze. “I was asking about you.”

  “I’m fine,” Renny repeated automatically.

  “Hmm.” Maze narrowed her eyes. “The truth, child. How are you are really doing?” Maze’s voice was firm this time.

  Renny felt almost compelled to tell Maze all her worries and fears. But over the last year, ever since Tyler’s betrayal—or rather her perception of his betrayal—she’d been careful not to reveal the truth in case someone else used that against her.

  But Renny found herself needing to confide in the motherly woman. After a moment, she gave in. “I’m worried that we’ll be too late to save Matthew and Brenna. I’m terrified that I’ll never find either of them and so afraid that I won’t be able to do this.”

  She glanced over her shoulder toward where Mattie slept in Reed’s arms. Her only comfort lay in knowing that Mattie would know if Matthew’s spirit had left this world.

  “Why do you believe you cannot do this? From what I’ve seen of you, you are a very intelligent and capable young woman. You take charge and you lead.” She waved a hand to indicate Renny’s family. “It is only natural that the others would turn to you.”

  “But this is different,” Renny said. She didn’t know how to explain this to someone who didn’t know her family or understand how different they were.

  Mattie had the gift. She could use it and guide Renny to Matthew. That was how it had always worked with not only Mattie, but Star Dreamer, Mattie’s mother, and Seeing Eyes, mother to Star Dreamer.

  Maze stared out over the moon-bathed land. “You were very confident this morning. Why did you lead us in this direction?”

  “It seemed right,” Renny said slowly. She frowned. “The eagle, he was flying above me, moving in circles, then he just flew off. It was a sign. I thought,” she finished. It sounded so foolish when she heard the words spoken aloud.

  “You trusted yourself to know this?” The question was put to her gently.

  Sighing, Renny nodded. “It felt right.”

  Maze nodded. “What about the horse?”

  Renny glanced at Maze. The woman’s eyes gleamed mistily in the night as though the stars shone through them.

  Renny blinked and looked away. “Today was the second time I saw him,” she said. “He too seemed to call to me.” She paused. “I followed.”

  Renny had charged through the trees, expecting to find the horse, but the magnificent animal had disappeared, leaving her very disappointed until she’d found the campsite. Once again she’d gotten excited. Until learning it hadn’t been Matt’s camp.

  But at least she had a lead now, one that hopefully would take them to Matthew. In her heart, Renny felt that tracking whoever had camped there was the key to finding Matt.

  Her mind, the logical part of her, said that the camp could have been made by anyone. There were trappers, traders and soldiers in the area. But some intuitive part of her knew better.

  She just prayed that her hopes wouldn’t be dashed, as they had been so many times before.

  Maze nodded. “You are frustrated and worried because you haven’t found your brother?”

  “Well, wouldn’t you be?” Renny asked, careful to keep her voice to a low, tight whisper.

  Maze just smiled. “Mattie claims she’d know if Matthew was gone from all of you.”

  “Yeah, she would.” Renny’s voice was firm. Her gut twisted, though. “It’s been so long since Matthew was shot.” She was sure he’d been shot the day Mattie had her vision.

  “Have patience,” Maze counseled. “He had a long head start on all of us. It will take time to catch up to him.”

  Renny snorted. “I’m not a patient person.” She didn’t add that she was afraid she’d never find him. She didn’t want the older woman to worry.

  Laughing softly, Maze rose gracefully to her feet. “No, Weshawee, you are not.”

  Renny whipped her head around. “What did you call me?” She narrowed her eyes at the woman. “How do you know my Sioux name?”

  Chuckling softly, Maze tossed her head of silvery hair. “You’d be surprised at what I know.” Her voice sobered before she continued. “Listen well. It is in your dreams that you will find the answers.”

  Maze walked back to her bedroll then lay back down, leaving Renny to ponder her words.

  When Reed and Daire joined her shortly, she headed back to her bedding, figuring she’d never fall asleep. To her surprise, the moment she closed her eyes, she did just that.

  At least she thought she was asleep as she saw herself walking over a lush, green prairie. Off a ways, she saw tipis, set in their circles. People of the earth, from the earth, went about their business as though there wasn’t a white woman watching them.

  Some of The People were elderly, most were women. Few men were present, which meant they were out hunting. She watched the children of the earth running and playing.

  With a start, Renny realized she knew this place, these people. She’d spent time here, living among them. She walk
ed along the outer edge of the village.

  No one seemed to notice her but this was the place where she’d been brought, at age nine, by the kind man who’d traded his horses for her. Rubbing her arms hard, Renny wasn’t sure she wanted to be here.

  She’d been well treated, cared for and, she supposed, loved in a way that all children were loved. But she hadn’t been happy. She’d been so homesick.

  The sound of crying reached her ears. Her heart shrank a bit. She knew that cry, and as she followed the sound, she knew what she’d see.

  Sure enough, Renny came upon a small girl with red hair. Stopping, with her heart beating furiously, Renny stared down at herself. At the scared, lonely child she’d been at nine when their coach had been attacked, everyone killed except for herself and her much older sister, Emma.

  She and Emma had been taken captive by the savages. Time shifted, the image blurred. Renny felt dizzy, as though falling, then everything went dark, as though in her dream it was now night.

  Her heart hammered until she got her bearings. Embers from a fire drew her attention. Yes, it was night. She glanced around.

  She recognized this place as well and knew just where to look to find once more that nine-year-old version of herself.

  Now, Renny the child was asleep. But she was restless, her face wet with tears. Renny covered her mouth with her fingers. She’d been so very scared of these people, and unnecessarily so. She’d been treated with the same love and patience as any other child. Praise and reprimands had been given as freely as their love and acceptance of her into their midst.

  Renny smiled, her lips trembling. These people, the Cheyenne, she remembered, had been a lot nicer than the brutal, savage men who’d kidnapped her and Emma.

  Renny turned to leave. She knew she was dreaming. She hadn’t dreamed or remembered any of this for so long so she was confused as to why she’d do so now.

  Before she could make the conscious thought to wake herself, her dream shifted around her. Now she was standing outside. Everything looked so big. Intimidating.