All the Way

by Jennifer Probst

Page 30

 

  But I can’t go with you. I need to get on with my life.

  I’m not a woman who can wait at home for you to return, or follow you as you chase your dreams. I need more, and you need the freedom in your soul you crave.

  I’ll always remember the time we spent together, and perhaps one day, in another time and place, we will meet again. Perhaps that will be our karma.

  Miranda He read the note three times. Carefully, he folded it and slipped the paper into his jacket. Emptiness and pain ripped at his insides, but with a deliberate calm, he forced the emotions in check.

  He glanced at the bedroom one last time and walked out.

  … “Where is she?”

  Andy groaned and dropped his forehead to the desk. “I knew this would happen! Dammit, just because you supply the newsroom with pastries doesn’t give you the right to tear into our cubicles. I don’t know where she is. ”

  “You’re lying. ”

  Gavin waited for him to lift his head and leaned in. Anger and frustration shot off him in waves, and he ground his teeth together to keep from punching something.

  He regretted the ruthlessness he needed to rely on, but right now his life depended on it. “Don’t play games with me, Andy.

  Her editor told me she took a leave of absence. I can’t get a hold of anyone at Foodie magazine that will talk to me. You’re the only one she confides in, and I want to know now. ”

  Andy tapped the pen against his desk in a nervous gesture. “You’re giving me too much credit.

  She called and let me know she’s going away for a while. When I asked her why, she said it’s better if I didn’t know. I asked for how long, and she said it depended. So much for close friendship. ”

  Gavin studied the man’s features with hard eyes.

  “Ah, so she didn’t tell you about the other woman?”

  “Other woman?” A frown creased his brow.

  “I thought you were dumping her again to leave for China?”

  “Right. But you don’t know anything, do you, Andy?”

  “Aww, shit. ” Andy looked disgusted. “Okay, so she told me a little. Why don’t you just let her get on with her life instead of torturing her?”

  “I’m not going to China, Andy. I quit. I’m staying, and I planned to ask her to marry me tonight. ”

  Andy threw the pen on the desk and groaned.

  “Why do I always get dragged into this stuff? She warned me, you know.

  Told me not to buy into your macho bonding crap and stay strong. Said if I breathed a word to you about her she’d cut off my balls. Gavin, she wasn’t kidding. Don’t mess with a woman who’s pissed off and is good friends with your wife. ”

  A ghost of a smile passed Gavin’s lips. “I don’t care, I need some help here. I need to stop that review, then find her. ”

  “Sorry, I’m only Lifestyle and Health. Susan’s her friend who got her the gig at Foodie magazine, though. Maybe she could help?”

  “Get her on the phone. ”

  “Pushy, huh?”

  Andy grumbled but scrolled through his contacts. After a few conversations, he handed him the phone.

  It took Gavin a while to convince Susan the planet would fall apart if that Hotspot Feature went to press. Finally, he secured a deal and hung up the phone.

  “What did she say?”

  “She needs a replacement column right now. ”

  “Oh. I don’t know where Miranda keeps her reviews. ”

  “Doesn’t matter. You’re writing another column.

  Right now. ”

  Andy’s mouth dropped open. “You’re nuts. I can’t whip up a review. I’m Lifestyle and Health. ”

  “So you keep saying.

  You and Elaine eat out a lot.

  You accompany Miranda. I want you to write something now, Andy, and email it to Susan in the next half hour. ”

  Andy moaned. “This is a nightmare. Why do these things happen to me? Why do I always get involved?”

  “Because you’re one of the good guys. ”

  “Sounds like a bad western. ”

  He paused.

  “Even if I can pull this off, you still don’t know where she is. ”

  “I know people. I’ll find her. ” He turned to stride away, then glanced back.

  “I’ll confirm you sent the article to Susan in a bit.

  And Andy? If you don’t help me, you’ll have to live with the knowledge you broke up a perfect relationship. ”

  “Perfect? You two never had a perfect relationship.

  I don’t need this kind of pressure. See, this is what happens when a person tries to help out a friend. I get dragged into a lover’s mess, and I’m the one who gets blamed if it doesn’t work out. Is this fair? Gavin, are you listening to me?”

  Gavin hid a grin as Andy’s voice echoed down the corridor.

  … Miranda lifted her face toward the sun and allowed the warm rays to pour over her in a lover’s caress. She sighed with pleasure and let her gaze sweep the jagged mountain peaks that lay in the distance. The scent of wood and damp earth rose to her nostrils, and she enjoyed the crunch under her feet as she walked up the twisting pathway toward the cabin.

  A bird cried out. She smiled as the sound echoed through the trees and once again felt a deep sense of peace and healing.

  Funny, she’d never been able to settle here without bad memories of her lost parents. Her grandmother used to drag her away from the city during the summers in an effort to get her away from the riffraff. Fresh country air and home cooking, she used to admonish. As a child, she craved the excitement of others, and not a cabin where the nearest mall was miles away.

  After her grandmother passed, it hurt too much to stay here, with memories of the only parent she’d known drifting in the air.

  But now, she only experienced a knowledge that she belonged here.

  Miranda ran her fingers down the bark of an old oak tree. Sadness tugged at her belly and brought a familiar wave of longing.

  Only a week. Seven days.

  In a way, it felt like an entire lifetime since she’d last seen him. Touched him. Laughed with him.

  She tilted her head toward the sky and imagined him flying to China, off on a new adventure.

  When she’d first met him, she’d been an impulsive child-woman, hungry for passion and afraid of love. After he left, she’d ruthlessly cut out those qualities and believed they were a sign of weakness. But the walls she built locked out all emotion, until the iciness closed off any feelings left.

  This time, she allowed herself to experience the pain without running away.

  This time, she allowed herself to see the entire relationship without blinders, without rage, without blame.

  She remembered the book she picked up last night in an effort to ease the hurt. The author stated there were three lessons in life, the three things that matter the most. Loving well. Living fully. Learning to let go.

  Miranda took a deep breath. She knew what she needed to learn from her relationship with Gavin.

  Though she loved him, she needed to let him go.

  Karma.

  She walked back to the cabin and thought about the review. The mail would be there by now, and she’d arranged for an issue to be delivered to the cabin today. She flipped open the box and took out the heavy brown envelope.

  She turned the glossy pages until she reached the HotSpot feature. The sunlight glinted and blinded her for a moment.

  Miranda blinked.

  Jade Aloha A Rare Find She skimmed the review of the Chinese restaurant that was a favorite of Andy’s.

  He’d always begged her to review it, but the place was mostly take-out, so she refused.

  Miranda checked the date and wondered if Susan sent her the wrong issue.

  She shook her head in disbelief. Something had gone wrong. Oddly, the whole review sounded a lot like Andy’s voice. What was going on? The sound of
a car dragging on gravel pulled her attention away. As if observing the scene in a dream, she watched the familiar black Mercedes stop at the end of the drive. Seconds passed that felt like hours, and then the door opened.

  She and Gavin gazed at one another for a long while.

  Despair shook through her. With the grace of a tiger, he closed the distance between them and an animal moan slipped from her lips.

  Golden brown hair blew gently in the breeze and settled in disarray. Steel- blue eyes glinted with purpose, and he stared at her as if he saw right into her soul. Fierce masculine energy burned in waves around his figure, told by his locked jaw, the set of his shoulders, the proud tilt of his head. The air sizzled with tension.

  She took a step back as she caught the hot desire in his gaze. He looked her over like a possessive Dom about to claim his woman, and her nipples immediately peaked with interest.

  “Why are you doing this to me?” she tore out.

  He considered her question. “Because I have no choice. I didn’t get what I wanted yet. ”

  “I can’t do this, Gavin. I gave you the review for Mia Casa. I walked away with my head held high and even understood. But don’t toy with me and my feelings. Why aren’t you in China?”

  “I’m not going to China, Red. I never was. Brando screwed up and God help him, he’s gonna pay big- time for this mess. You don’t know the stress I’ve been through this past week. ”

  Her mouth fell open.

  “You? Your stress? Are you kidding me?”

  “No. Next time, if you think I’m flying off to China, just ask me. It would save us both a lot of legwork. ”

  She shook her head and tried to grasp for sanity.

  “This is not happening.

  Gavin, you need to go home, now. It’s too late for us. ”

  He clenched his fists and cocked his head. “Don’t piss me off, Red. It’s my turn to talk now, and you’re going to listen. ”

  An outraged squeak escaped her lips, but she was too angry to speak. He nodded with approval. “Better. I’ll keep this simple. I made a huge mistake the first time I walked away from you, and I’m not making another one. I also figured out I love Mia Casa. I’m staying. I’m going to run the restaurant with my brother and make it a success. I’m going to buy a big ass house in the city and get a dog. I’m going to play cook, waiter, and peacemaker to my crazy Italian family.

  I quit Mackenzie & Associates last week. ”

  She stood in the sunlight, staring at the man she loved, struck completely mute.

  She waited for the Disney music to cue up and a fairy Godmother to appear from the woods.

  Nothing happened, though. The wind whispered through the trees. A flock of birds flew overhead, their high- pitched screeches breaking the silence.

  Miranda stared into his eyes for endless moments as the realization sank in.

  “What about the review?” she choked out.

  “What happened?”

  He shrugged. “I stopped it. Had Andy re-write it. If Allison ever read it, she’d tear you apart. Your whole career would be shot. I needed you to believe in me. In us. ”

  He loved her. He chose her.

  She was enough for him.

  More than enough.

  “Why?”

  “As Sinatra would say, ‘Who knows where the road will lead us, but if you let me love you, I’ll love you all the way. ’”