He knew what his body was telling him to do, that wasn't in question. But, hell, if he listened to his body alone, he would have laid her down on one of the benches, stripped her out of her jeans and buried himself inside of her. He needed to involve his brain in this decision, too. At least a little.
She had parked at the far end of the lot, next to his SUV. As they reached the door of her VW bug, he still hadn't decided what, ultimately, to do – but he did know one thing that he definitely needed to do. When she turned to say goodbye, he took her gorgeous face in his hands and leaned down to give her (at least) one more kiss before the night ended.
He really did, at the beginning, fully intend for that kiss to be short and sweet, but when his lips touched hers, he felt a moan vibrate through her, and he completely lost control of his senses. She parted her mouth and he slipped his tongue past her lips. Hers was right there to meet his.
As soon as their tongues touched, it was like something snapped inside of him. A desire exploded within him and he pressed his body against hers, causing her to be pushed up against the side of her car.
His breathing quickened, and he noticed that hers was keeping pace with his, becoming rapid and thready. Every response he sensed in her body seemed to drive his desire to greater and greater heights.
The kiss wasn’t enough, he needed to feel her. His hands roamed up and down her body, exploring every contour, treasuring every curve.
“God Sam, I want you so bad,” he groaned against her mouth before plunging his tongue back inside of her. She was meeting him lick for lick, swirl for swirl, and thrust for thrust. Her hands were clinging to his neck as though she was hanging on for dear life.
“I…I need.” She gasped between kisses.
“I know baby, I know what you need. I need it too,” Luke mumbled against her mouth, his hands continuing to explore her through her layers of clothing. His fingers found her perfect heart-shaped ass and he grasped it tightly, pulling her towards him and causing her to grind against his throbbing erection. Damn, he wanted her so badly!
Samantha moaned, pulling away from his mouth, breathlessly gasping out, “I need to…I need to tell you...”
He continued kneading the firm globes of her backside. He could feel the heat radiating up from her center, the friction of her body rubbing against his straining hard-on was building the need inside of him, and he barely heard what she was saying.
He slipped his hand lower between the apex of her legs, and even through her tight jeans, he could tell she was wet and soft. She parted her legs slightly, inviting him without words to go further. He began rubbing her slowly but firmly, kissing her sweet neck as he applied the gentle rhythm through her pants.
Her breathing was becoming more rapid, and she was making quiet sounds of pleasure. Each of these small exhalations of ecstasy triggered a physiological response in him, making him feel as though they were physically wrapping around his dick and squeezing.
“Oh, God, that feels so good,” She gasped as she squeezed his neck tighter, “but...I have to tell you…I need to tell you...”
“What baby, you can tell me anything.” He tried to make his voice sound soothing, but he heard the desperation and desire shining through. He wanted to get her in the back seat of his SUV and give them what they both wanted, needed. He could hear it in his own voice, and he was sure that she wasn't fooled. Still, he didn't think that it was too big a sin. If he wasn't mistaken, she felt exactly the same way.
“I…I’m a…I’m...” She seemed to be having a hard time putting two words together.
He pulled back, making a herculean effort to get his wits back about him and give her apparently grave pronouncement the attention it deserved. He smiled at her and said, “What Sam? Just tell me, what is it?”
“I’m a…a virgin.”
Luke froze.
Out of all of the things he had been expecting to hear, that wasn’t even in the running. He dropped his hands and looked at her, not quite believing his own ears.
“You’re a what?” He asked, sure he must have heard her wrong.
“I’m a virgin.” Sam repeated, right before her eyes filled with tears and she threw open her car door, jumped in and sped out of the parking lot.
Luke listened to the silence for a moment, trying to process how, just 30 seconds ago, he had been making out with the hottest woman on the planet – and now he was standing alone in the snow.
“What the hell just happened?” Luke asked the empty night, but no response was forthcoming.
Chapter Seventeen
Luke turned to look at his bedside clock. The red digital numbers read 4:15. Luke hadn’t slept at all the night before, he had spent the entire night trying to process what Sam had told him right before she sped out of the parking lot. He had so many questions.
First among them was: how could someone Sam’s age still be a virgin? Especially since she said she had been in several long term relationships.
Maybe it was a religious thing? But if that was the case, why would she be so upset when she told him? He thought that girls who 'saved themselves' on purpose were generally pretty proud of that accomplishment, so that didn't fit.
Maybe it was a physical issue, or a psychological one? But, again, that didn’t make any sense, this time because Sam was so responsive to him. If she had an aversion to physical intimacy, up to and including sex...wouldn't she have responded to his advances more timidly, or even in disgust? She had been an enthusiastic partner in their make-out sessions. So what was the deal?
He had texted her last night to ask if she made it home safely, and if she was OK. She quickly responded with a 'yes.' Nothing more.
He knew he probably should have handled the situation better than he had, that was hardly in question. But the truth was that he was so shocked when she told him, he didn’t know what to say. The fact that most of the blood had rushed from the head on his shoulders down to the one below his belt, leaving him struggling to form a coherent thought, also did not help his response time. Plus, he added to himself defensively, she left in such a hurry that she really didn’t give me a chance to say or do much of anything!
Luke was still at a loss as to what to do or think, but at least if she had stayed, he could have asked her more about the circumstances surrounding the bombshell she dropped on him.
He needed to talk to Sam, to straighten this whole thing out. He wasn’t sure what this new development was going to mean for them, for their relationship. But, he was sure of one thing. He wasn’t going to let this derail what was happening between them. He just wasn't.
He was trying everything he could to clear his head, but until he talked to Sam, he just didn’t think that would be possible. He was unsettled, agitated, frustrated. He didn't see that getting any better as long as things were muddled between him and Samantha.
Well, hell, he thought grumpily. Might as well get the day started. He decided to get a jump start on the last cabin that they had to complete before the Grand Re-Opening. He might as well put all of this pent-up energy to good use.
Hours later his muscles ached and he was coated in sweat, however, all of that physical labor had still not served to put the Sam situation out of his head, as he had hoped it would. All day long, the only thing he wanted to do was leave the worksite and find Sam. He knew if he saw her face to face that he could force her to talk to him. It was so tempting. But he knew Samantha, and so he knew that a personal conversation would not be welcome here. She was a consummate professional, and adamant about separating business from pleasure – or fights, for that matter.
He had texted her that morning to say that he missed her and to ask how she was doing. All he got in response was ‘fine.’ Yet another reason not to force the talk – she was telegraphing loud and clear that she needed some space. But DAMN, he wanted to talk to her, to see her face to face, to look into her eyes. This texting nonsense was not enough.
He tried not to let the fact that her texts had been
so short and abrupt discourage him overall. He tried not to imagine the worst. She just needs a little space, he told himself over and over. But sometimes – no, scratch that, MOST of the time – with Sam, it was really hard to figure out what was going on in her head.
Damn, he had never worried so much about what a woman he was seeing was thinking about! He never had to. With most of the women he dated, it was no big mystery what was going on in their minds because they couldn't shut up about it! His experience had been that women were physically incapable of not talking constantly about how they felt, why they felt that way, how they thought he probably felt, why they thought he probably felt that way.
He knew that wasn’t Samantha’s style. Before he started seeing Samantha, he would have sworn up and down that dating a woman who didn't want to have a conversation about 'feelings' every other day would be a relaxing and welcome change, but he realized now that he had been an idiot when he thought that. Guessing what a woman was feeling was TEN TIMES more stressful that being told about it nonstop.
As a character trait, he admired that Samantha kept her own counsel. But as someone who wanted to know how she felt, he just wished she wouldn’t shut him out. He certainly didn’t want to bother her if she needed space, but how much space should he give her? There was a thin line between 'I'm being considerate of your feelings' and 'I don't wish to be in touch with you' and he DEFINITELY did not want to cross that line!
“Hey, watch your head!” Luke ducked as Justin walked by, carrying a stack of 2x4’s, “Dude, Luke, you have been out of it today. Did Sam kick your ass so hard at bowling that you haven’t recovered yet, or what?”
“Something like that,” Luke heard the strain in his own voice.
Justin gave him a questioning look but thankfully did not follow up with any questions. Luke was peppering himself with so many that he didn't think he could handle any more from an outside source.
The rest of the day was filled with back-breaking, sweaty, hard work – and Luke was thankful for that. By six pm, the crew had been there for almost 12 hours and had finally finished with the last cabin.
Justin had made a bit of a production of it, inviting Eric, Ryan, Jake and Luke – the guys who were there working – to gather round and count down from 10 as he pounded the last nail in. When the cheering died down, Justin turned to the group and said, “Guys, seriously – you don't know what it means to Amanda and I that you've stepped up to the plate and helped us out with this the way you have. I know you've all been doing your regular jobs at night, and putting a lot of your life on hold. It's just awesome. If there was a way I could repay you in kind, believe me, I would. But until then – beers at JT's on me?”
The guys cheered again, and started making their way to their cars to drive to the one bar in Hope Falls, JT's Roadhouse.
Of course, Luke really wanted to go and see Sam, but he decided that a few beers with the guys might be exactly what the doctor ordered. He had hoped that the physical labor would help him clear his head, and it had helped, but unfortunately it hadn't done the trick entirely. However, he thought optimistically, maybe alcohol and a little male bonding would succeed in clearing his overstuffed brain where swinging a hammer had failed.
--- ~ ---
Sam was happy that Lauren had texted her to say that she was stopping by to pick up her dresses. Sam needed to talk to someone, to lay out all of the confusing feelings banging around inside of her and hopefully arrange them into some semblance of order. She had spent the whole day with Amanda, true – but she didn’t want to burden Amanda with her drama.
Amanda had real stresses – she had a business to run, and a staff, and a Grand Re-Opening a week away. She didn’t have a moment to stand still, much less several moments to listen to Sam whining about the state of her…um...whatever Sam and Luke were.
Since Sam had been in the middle of making dinner when Lauren texted, she had invited Lauren to join her, and Lauren had readily agreed. The dinner was just about finished when Lauren arrived, and Sam marveled that, as usual, Lauren came in looking like she belonged in a Sax Fifth Avenue catalog rather than on the streets of Hope Falls.
Sam looked down at her jeans and sweater, an outfit which was actually dressy for her, and realized that she didn’t think she would ever have the effortless grace and style that both Karina and Lauren possessed.
But, that was fine. Sam was OK with that. She felt comfortable in her own skin and in her own clothes. It had been a little bit of an adjustment, just getting used to not wearing sweats and running shoes all the time, but she was happy with it now that she had fully made the switch. She felt more like a grown-up, and less like a holdover from the high-school track team.
“So Sammi, what’s up? You look stressed,” Lauren said immediately upon entering. She was always one to cut right to the heart of the matter, she didn’t waste time with pleasantries when there was something important to be said.
“I’m fine, totally fine. I just thought some company would be nice for dinner. How’s business? You’ve seemed really busy lately.”
Sam wasn’t sure how to articulate what was bothering her, so she tried to put off that part of the conversation. She was sure her tongue would flow more freely once they had started eating the meal – and drinking the wine, of course!
Sam filled both of their plates with salmon and green beans as Lauren poured them each a glass of rich, jewel-toned Pinot Noir.
“Business is good. Yes, I am busy. Now what is bothering you Sam?” Lauren was not easily detoured.
They sat at Sam’s kitchen nook and began to eat. Sam tried to figure out where to start. She didn’t want to be one of those girls who thought their friends cared about every tiny detail of any problem they were having. She had roomed with girls like that, and OH BOY, were they tiresome!
Most of the time Sam was good at working things out on her own. She was good at pinpointing a problem and then coming up with a solution. But, dammit, there were times a girl just needed her friends!
“So, I told Luke I was a virgin,” Sam blurted out, expecting Lauren to gasp or clutch at her chest, or at least widen her eyes. She should have known her level-headed friend better.
“And how did he respond?” Lauren asked calmly.
“He didn’t really. He just asked what I said, so I repeated myself and then left.”
“When did this happen?” Lauren asked.
“Last night. We went to The Lanes. I told him in the parking lot.”
Lauren continued patiently, “Sammi, I am going to need a little more context. Were you guys talking or what? What were you talking about? Did you just say 'Goodnight, had a lovely time, oh and by the way, I’m a virgin?' Set the scene for me! Pretend you’re Amanda telling the story.”
Sam took a deep breath, “OK, I'll try. So, we went bowling last night, had a great time. Then, when we were at my car Luke kissed me. It was more intense than any kiss I've ever experienced...I was overwhelmed. I've never felt like that before!”
Sam took a deep breath and shook herself a little to get control of the tingles starting to manifest on her skin and the shiver that was skittering up her spine at the mere memory it.
“Sounds like a damn good kiss,” Lauren interjected.
“Oh, it was…I think. I don’t know, really. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t form a sentence. I definitely couldn't stop to rank it. All I wanted to do while it was happening was just…feel.”
“Yep, that is definitely a good kiss,” Lauren confirmed.
“The thing is, I didn’t have control. It was weird. I kept trying to tell him, but the words wouldn’t come out. I would start to tell him, and then he would be kissing me and touching me...and I would lose my train of thought.”
“OK, none of this sounds bad so far. It sounds like you guys have some insane chemistry, and believe me that doesn’t happen every day.”
“Or even every decade, in my experience,” Sam affirmed miserably.
“So, how far did thi
ngs get before you told him?” Lauren asked, sounding a little concerned.
“Not that far. We were still had all our clothes on, at any rate.”
Again, she paused to take a deep breath, “But when I did tell him, that's when things went sideways. The kissing, the touching...everything stopped. He just stopped.
“Then he said,' What?' and so I told him again. Worst of all, then I started to cry. Obviously I didn’t want him to see that, so I left.”
“Wait, what? You started crying. Why? And he just let you leave?” Lauren was confused.
“I don’t know why I started crying!” Sam said, defeat resonating in her voice, “I was just so...I just...ah, hell, I was embarrassed I guess. I've never felt like that. I have no idea if it’s just that I was nervous or what.”
“So have you talked to him since last night?” Lauren proceeded carefully, as she could see that Sam was really upset about the situation.
“He’s texted me a few times, but I haven’t seen or talked to him.” Sam sighed.
“Well, what did his texts say?”
“Last night he texted that he wanted to check to make sure I got home and that I was OK. Today he said he missed me and asked again if I was OK.”
Lauren smiled, “OK, I think I could be convinced to like this guy. Sam, it seems like he is really trying.”
Sam nodded miserably.
Lauren tried again, “What did you text back?”
“Last night I said 'yes' and this morning I said 'fine,”
“Wow, Sammi. You really have a way with words,” Lauren said dryly.
“Well, I don’t know what to say to him!” Sam’s hands flew up in frustration and her voice rose shrilly.
“Look Sam,” Lauren said calmly, “I know that this is new to you and that you have some insecurities when it comes to Luke, because of who he is and his level of experience. But the best advice that I can give you is simply to talk to him. None of this is going to get better or less confusing till you do.”
Sweet Victory Page 18