by JoAnn Durgin
“Depends. Are you talking about present day events or five years ago?” Her voice felt detached and she felt like she was floating. Reaching for the tube attached to her wrist, she started to yank it out of her arm. Jackson stopped her. Without saying a word, he kept his hand over hers until she finally relented and dropped her hand to her side.
Nodding to her mother, Jackson quietly took his leave. She watched him walk out the door. Although she wanted to call after him not to leave her, the words were again stuck somewhere inside her.
“You can start by telling me why I’m here. I don’t want to be here.”
“Jackson insisted on bringing you here for observation.” Elise’s eyes softened as they lingered on her face. “He was right.”
“Ironic isn’t it,” she snorted. “The last time I was here, my baby died and you disappeared.” Tears stung the back of her eyes. “You left me! You’re my Mama, and you left me all alone!” The tears began in a steady stream down her cheeks.
“I know, and you have to know it broke my heart, Serenity. Try and hear me out. You have to know I had my reasons. I never would have left you willingly. Never.” She grabbed the tissue box from the table beside the hospital bed. Taking one out, she leaned closer and started to dab beneath her left eye.
“I’ll do it myself,” Serenity said, taking the tissue from her. “Start by telling me about the boy. Who is he? Did you run off with a lover and he’s your love child?”
“You’re my one and only child, my precious daughter,” Elise said, keeping her voice low. “You fainted, honey. There’s a reason for that.”
“I’m not playing guessing games. Tell me the truth, Mama.” Serenity frowned. “I’m not even sure I should call you that anymore. You more or less lost that right when you left us.” She took a long, hard look at her mother’s face. Like her father, her mother had aged more in the past five years than in the ten years before she’d left. Whatever happened had drained her emotionally and physically.
Her mother didn’t speak for a long moment. Smoothing a wrinkle in the lightweight blanket, Elise sat on the end of the bed. “There’s a lot you don’t know about your husband. Things you need to know.”
Swallowing the hard lump in her throat, Serenity looked into her mother’s blue eyes. “What did Danny do?”
Elise blew out a long, extended breath, but she held her gaze. “He got mixed up with the wrong people. Bad people.”
“I knew about his poker friends, Mama. And his drinking buddies. But he always came home at night. Danny was faithful to me. I wasn’t sure I could trust him, but not in that way.”
“I don’t know how he met them, but Danny got mixed up with organized crime, Serenity. He started running drugs up and down the east coast.”
Serenity struggled to sit up. Sliding off the bed, Elise moved forward, propping the pillows behind her back. “Danny was involved with the mob? The mafia or whatever?” She slumped back on the pillows. “This is crazy!”
“That’s exactly what she’s telling you.”
Clinton walked into the room.
Serenity gasped. “Danny’s dead. Why can’t we let a poor dead man rest in peace? He’s gone, so what good is there in denigrating his name now? Mama, what did you do?”
The words choked in her throat, and came out in a rasp. But Elise heard as evidenced by the pale mask that sheathed her face and the fear or anger that narrowed her eyes. The lines between her brows deepened and the set of her mouth hardened.
“I don’t know why you’re so convinced I did something wrong, as if I purposely set out to hurt my only child.” Elise clenched her hands at her sides. Straightening her shoulders, she lifted her chin to meet her stare head-on.
“If you’d stuck around when I really needed you, you’d understand.”
The hurt surfaced in her light eyes, and a tear coursed down Elise’s face. “I had to leave, Serenity. Someday you’ll understand. I didn’t have a choice.”
“That makes no sense!” This time it came out loud and clear. “You keep telling me you had no choice. Then tell me why. You abandoned me. Mothers who love their children don’t do that, especially when they need them most. Why?” She steeled herself against the tears threatening to gush in a geyser of anger and grief. “My husband was dead, my baby died, and then you took off, leaving me with a shell of a father who could barely make it through his own grief much less take care of me.”
Raising her arms, Serenity let them fall to her sides, shaking her head.
“Serenity, I’m only going to tell you this once and beg you to believe me. If I meant anything to you in the first twenty years of your life, you need to cling to the fact that I loved you with everything in me.”
When she stepped closer, Serenity waved her away. “Don’t come near me, please. Just leave! It’s what you do best.” Crossing her arms over her chest, Serenity closed her lips, determined not to say anything. If she fell asleep again, would she wake up and find this was all a dream? Her mother would still be gone, but she’d be fine on her own. After all, she’d done it before, and she’d gotten pretty good at it. She couldn’t—she wouldn’t—go through the heartbreak of losing her all over again. Once in a lifetime was enough.
“We’ll talk when you’re in a better frame of mind. When you’re ready to listen. You’re still in shock.”
Clinton patted her mother’s arm. “I’m going to bring Jackson back in here. He’ll know how to handle this.”
“Handle what?” Serenity stared at her father. “I wish you’d stop treating me like a…a patient. Sure, I’m in a hospital bed, but because I fainted.” Her eyes opened wider. “I fainted. What happened?” She was vaguely aware Clinton left the room. Good. If he brought Jackson, he’d be the voice of reason. He’d tell her the truth or whatever was going on here.
“The boy,” Serenity whispered. Seeing Mama on the sidewalk with a young child earlier in the day came rushing back to her with surprising and shocking clarity. “I thought it was my baby.” Closing her eyes, she squeezed them tight, as if it would block out the memories of the smooth, soft skin, the beating heart of her newborn son she’d briefly held in her arms in this very hospital five years ago. Yanked away from her arms and taken to places unknown. Her life became a blur at that point and by the time she’d regained any clarity, Liam was already buried in Croisette Shores Cemetery.
“Serenity, your mother left to protect you. And someone else.” Jackson’s deep voice soothed her. In the current storm of her life, he was her harbor. She opened her eyes to find Jackson standing beside her bed again. This time, she offered her hand to him.
“I don’t get it. Will someone please get to the point and tell me what this mystery is all about? Is there some big secret you’re all hiding? Would one of you please spit it out, and put us all out of our misery?” She released an exasperated sigh and stared from one to the other.
Mama glanced at her father, who looked at Jackson.
“Someone please tell me now.” She felt like screaming. “Please.”
“Honey, your son didn’t die.” Her mother’s voice trembled and she took her hand. “In fact, he’s very much alive. And right here in Croisette Shores.”
~CHAPTER 43~
“Didn’t...didn’t die...when?” Clamping a hand over her mouth, Serenity’s tears spilled over her hand and onto the blanket. “What are you talking about?” Part of her wanted to cover her ears, bury under the warm cocoon and comfort of the covers, never to emerge again. But it wasn’t her bed, only an impersonal hospital bed where hundreds of other patients had rested, even died. She released an anguished moan, and Elise started to push the button for the nurse.
Serenity clamped her free hand on Jackson. “I’m okay. Don’t call.” She forced a calm into her voice but couldn’t quiet her thundering heart. “Tell me, Mama. What happened to my child?”
Elise rubbed her hands up and down both arms and darted a nervous glance at Jackson.
“Are you...are you telling me m
y little boy is alive? Liam!” Her voice broke on her sobs. Serenity reached for her mother and clung to Elise as she gathered her close. She rocked her, held her tight and kissed the top of her head. Their tears mingled.
Cradling Serenity’s face between her hands, her mother looked into her eyes. “It’s Liam, but I’ve called him by his middle name, Justin. The little boy you saw me with when you fainted. He’s your son. He’s alive and well, he’s intelligent and handsome...”
“Stop!” Serenity pushed away, and saw the hurt in Elise’s eyes. “Why are you telling me these lies? Haven’t you done enough damage to our family? Why would you hurt me like this? You know,” she sobbed, her shoulders heaving, her breath catching in her throat, “you know that child was my lifeline, all I had left of Danny.”
Collapsing back against the pillows, sobbing, she buried her head in the pillow. She felt like she was losing the biggest part of herself all over again. She groaned. This was too much.
“She’s not telling you lies, Serenity,” Clinton said. “Justin is the boy you gave life, he’s as much a part of you as Danny. You noticed the strong resemblance to your husband, and it’s a fair bet that’s why you fainted.”
“Serenity.”
As it had before, the whisper of her name from Jackson calmed her. “Listen to her. She’ll explain.”
More tears welled in her eyes and coursed a steady stream down both cheeks. “That’s impossible,” she gulped, swiping her hands across her face, small sobs escaping. “Liam died.”
“Honey, listen to me,” Elise said. “Did you ever see your baby again after they told you he died? Did you hold him, tell him good-bye? Touch his skin to know he was truly gone?”
Serenity cringed at her mother’s words. “I asked, but they said I couldn’t. Then I was out of it for so long. When I was finally coherent again, they told me they’d already...taken care of him.” A shudder shook her, jarring her and she widened her eyes. “If what you say is true and my son’s alive, who’s buried in that little white coffin in Croisette Shores Cemetery?”
“It’s empty. There’s nothing but trapped air inside,” Clinton said.
“Why would all the other nurses lie?” When Elise remained silent, Serenity looked over at her father. “Would one of you please answer me?”
When Elise nodded, Clinton cleared his throat. “Only a couple of them knew, but they felt threatened too. They lied to protect your mom, and you and Liam.”
“And after all this time? They’ve allowed us to continue believing the lies? Why?”
“They hoped I’d come back home, but they had no idea of knowing when.”
“If what you say is true,” Serenity said, “what finally brought you home?” Her words were clipped, her mind a jumble of mixed, warring emotions.
“I paid off Danny’s debt. In trying to make a better life for you and Liam, Danny double-crossed them. I was a private duty nurse for the patriarch of the family that killed your husband. Let me back up. The day you were in this hospital giving birth to Liam, I overheard two men talking. And...”—Elise’s eyes filled with tears—“I offered my nursing services, but stipulated I’d bring Liam with me to keep watch over him. You weren’t in any frame of mind to take care of him on your own. They could have killed any one of us—me, you, Clinton, Liam—at any point and not think twice about it. But I had to try to protect my family.”
“So the old man died?” Serenity asked.
“Yes, and I was given permission to leave.”
Clutching Jackson’s arm, Serenity allowed him to pull her close. She leaned her head against his chest, holding on to him, hoping to derive strength from him. Stroking her hair, he murmured soft endearments, but she couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t focus. When she gulped, she swallowed air and burst into a coughing fit. Elise filled a cup of water and handed it to Jackson.
Once the coughing subsided, she lifted her head and stared at her mother. “Why did you take my baby, Mama? Why?” She shook her head when Jackson offered the water to her.
“Because the same people who killed Danny also threatened you and Liam.” Her voice sounded stronger now.
“Why on earth would they threaten a newborn baby? That’s inhumane. What kind of monsters...”
“They wanted to make sure all the loose ends—as they termed it—were covered. In their minds, people are disposable. They’re nothing. These men have no feelings, no spines where most people are concerned. They don’t have souls. They’re paid to kill and then go get a steak dinner like they didn’t just destroy someone’s world.”
Shaking her head, Serenity pushed away from Jackson and raked her hands through her hair, tangling it. “Let me get this straight. You ran away and took my baby because some organized crime goons killed Danny and you heard them make threats against me and Liam? And you lived in a house with the man who ordered my husband killed and took care of him? How could you do that? How?”
“Because I’m a nurse and that’s what I’m trained to do. Tell me you wouldn’t look in the eyes of a dying man and try to help him. He could have died in two weeks. I never knew he’d hang on for almost five years.”
Serenity stared, her head pounding. “I’m supposed to believe this crazy story?”
Elise blew out a sigh. “If I hadn’t run away, and taken Liam with me, most likely you would have lost your child. The saving grace is they didn’t order you killed before you had your baby. Only the Lord knows why, but I thank Him every day for that mercy.”
“She’s right, Serenity,” Jackson said. “Your mom saved his life. And, more likely than not, she saved your life, too.”
“Where have you been all this time, Mama?”
“Long Island, New York.” Elise’s jaws flinched. “I did the only thing I knew to do, Serenity. At the time, I didn’t think I had a choice. I still don’t. Given the same circumstances, I’d do it all over again.” She turned away, brushing her hands over her face. Her shoulders began to shake and, even though no sound came from her, Serenity could tell she was weeping. After a few moments of tortured silence, Elise raised her head. Turning toward her again, she threw back her narrow shoulders and dragged in a deep breath. Unable to speak, Serenity watched. Jackson still held her hand, and she continued to hold on tight, needing the anchor for her frazzled, confused emotions.
“Let me tell you something about your son, Serenity. He kept me sane. He got Danny’s sense of daring and his dark hair, deep brown eyes and those adorable dimples. But Justin got his sensitivity, his intelligence and strength from his mother.” Her shoulders slumped and she walked to the window and retrieved her purse, clutching it against her chest with both hands. “He’s an incredible child, and he’s capable of so much.”
Serenity’s heart pumped overtime, and she brushed away more tears. “Does he ask about me? Where does he think I’ve been? Did you tell him I’m...” She couldn’t even say the words.
“I showed him your picture so he could see how pretty you are, and I told him I’d take him to meet you, but I didn’t know when.” Elise smiled through her tears. They ran down her cheeks, but she let them go. “He knows that’s why we’re in Croisette Shores now. He knows the old man died and that I no longer work for him. Justin actually calls you Princess Serenity sometimes, like your dad used to on the beach. I think there’s a part of Justin that believes you really do live in a castle by the sea in some far-off, magical kingdom. I didn’t have the heart to tell him otherwise. I promise you this. I kept your son as far away from everyone as possible. I homeschooled him and kept him practically attached to my hip. He even slept in a twin bed in the corner of my room. There wasn’t one minute when he was out of my watch care.”
Jackson kissed the top of her head and his arm moved around her shoulders, pulling her to him. Serenity placed one hand against his chest, feeling his strong, reassuring heartbeat pulsating against her palm. His hold on her tightened.
Elise wrapped her arms over her middle. “What I’ve told you goes no further
than this room.” She glanced at all of them in turn. “I don’t care what anyone in this town thinks, but no one can know other than those of us in this room, Deidre and Charlie. Let them think the worst of me. I don’t care.”
“Those monsters held you captive for almost five years and we can’t go to the authorities?” Serenity shook her head.
“Honey, you have your son back. For what it’s worth, I have my daughter back,” Elise said, her voice low, defeated. “At least, in time, I hope I will. Bitterness can tear us apart, or we can let grace flow over us. Let the God of everyday miracles help us to be a family again. Because,” Elise said, stepping close and taking her hand, “that’s my greatest prayer.” Kissing her hand, she lowered it to the sheet.
Serenity raised her eyes to her mother’s and knew it was true. “Jesus found me when I was in Atlanta.” Her mother’s expression was one of shared understanding. “You wrote the note, didn’t you?”
Elise’s eyes softened. “It came from me, yes, but I had someone else write it. I knew you’d been living in Atlanta most of the last five years. I was so proud of you for getting your degree.”
“Degrees,” Jackson said, the slightest hint of a smile curving his lips.
“I need to meet my son,” Serenity said. If this story was true, she needed to see him, touch him, smell him, hold him, kiss him. Know he was real. Reconnect. If Justin knew about her and had been prepared to meet her, the sooner the better. That had to be her focus now and nothing else. My son.
She caught the looks between her mother and father before both turned to Jackson.
“Is it all right if I come along?” Jackson said. “We can arrange something for whenever you say. Your call.”
“Tomorrow morning. Ten o’clock at the beach.” She looked up at Jackson. “I’ll show up this time. Promise, Doc Jack.”
Unable to sleep, Serenity tossed and turned all night. Finally, she went into the living room, curled up on the sofa, read her Bible and prayed. Deidre had left her a lengthy message on her voice mail and she listened to it a couple of times. Hearing her best friend’s voice made her smile. “Your mom came to see me and told me everything, but she swore me to secrecy. You know I’m rarely at a loss for words, but…wow. When you think about it, this is the best thing that could ever happen! I mean, your mom’s alive and she’s been taking care of Liam this entire time? That’s nothing short of amazing, shocking, you name it. Can’t think of enough adjectives to cover this one. And how everything played out, it’s like a movie, only better. Look, if you need me, I’m there for you. Say the word. I’ll bring over some movies. Reunion movies. Finding lost loved ones movies. Oh, wait, is that insensitive? You can tell I’ve never helped anyone through this kind of thing before. Know this, Serenity.” Deidre paused and she heard her sniffling. “I love you and can’t wait to meet your little guy. Call me if you need me, any time of the day or night, and I’ll be on my way over.”