Love Online

by Ssam

  *****RRRIIIINNNNGGGG*****

  My alarm went off. I hate Monday mornings. I got up and switched off the alarm, then checked my phone. Twelve voice mails and fifteen messages from Nolan. I deleted them without looking at them, I don’t want to hear his sorry voice and read his sorry messages. This is a new day and a fresh start which doesn’t have space for Nolan’s sorry ass. You make or break your life rules yourself, so it’s time to make new ones. I have decided now, no more crying for the jerk and no more sulking over the ex-boyfriend.

  I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. After getting ready for office, I went to the kitchen where Sammy was making coffee.

  “Good morning Sammy. Can I get one of that too”, I asked pointing towards the coffee pot.

  “Sure you can”, she answered and handed me the coffee mug, “here, your toast and egg is on the table”.

  “Thank you, Sammy”

  “Come on eat fast or we are going to be late for office”.

  “Yes, mother”.

  So, our day started with good laughter, but once we reached office I was getting that sulking feeling again. I tried to ignore that but failed every time. I went to my cabin there were some new covers to be chosen for the new addition of the magazine, for which I was grateful. Anything to keep my mind off Nolan will be a welcome, so I started working on the covers. I didn’t know how much time passed when there was a knock on my cabin door. ‘Must be Sammy, I thought’. But to my surprise it was none other than Nolan. I was in no mood to talk to that asshole so I said curtly, “I am busy, and I don’t have time for any crap right now. So, if you don’t mind leaving me alone”.

  “I know I hurt you, but will you please listen to me for a minute”, Nolan said. He was sounding sad. But I don’t have to feel bad for his sadness. It was his fault, not mine. He was the one cheating on me.

  “No, I don’t have anything to give you. Not even my hatred”, I pointed to the door and said in a voice as cold as I can manage and said, “you may leave now Mr. Jenkins”.

  “Nikki please don’t be so cold. You know I LOVE you. I am sorry I was not faithful to you, but can’t you just give me one chance to prove myself. Please, if you want I can beg you for your forgiveness. Give me a first and last chance and we’ll live happily forever. Please, Nikki”.

  “Look, Nolan I am hurt and right now I don’t know if I can give you any chance or not. But I forgive you for what you did to me. Just give me my space and I’ll give you yours”, I said defeated. I can’t give him any chance I know that, but I am not going to hate him too because to hate him I’ll have to remember him which I don’t want to do. So, I decided to forgive him and move on in my life.

  “But I don’t want my space; I want you with me as always.”

  “Look Nolan does not test my patience, I said you I forgave you now leave me alone, ‘coz you may not need it but I do need my space, at least for now”.

  He must have seen my anger rising so he said, “For now, I’ll give you your space. But I know you will give me a chance”.

  And he went out of my cabin. I drowned myself in my work again and when I noticed the time it was already time to go home. I took a sigh of relief and saved my work. When I was out in of my cabin I noticed Sammy and was happy that there was no sign of Nolan there. We went home and I told Sammy about the unexpected visit from my ex-boyfriend on our way back home. She was totally pissed.

  “Why doesn’t he leave you alone? What is his problem?”

  “I don’t know and I don’t want to know. I just want to forget all about him and move on”

  “That’s my girl”

  “Yeah, your girl”

  And like that both of us were laughing. Reaching home was so good. I took a hot shower to release all the tension of the day. When I came out Sammy was sitting on the couch and doing something on her laptop.

  “Whatcha you doing,” I asked her.

  “Solving you problem”.

  “Excuse me?” I was confused.

  “You said you want to move on from that dirt bag Nolan”, she said like it was obvious what she meant.

  “Yes I said”, I was still confused.

  “So that’s what I’m doing, making sure you move on”.

  “And that is related to what you are doing on your laptop, how?”

  “You see this website here?”

  “Look, Sammy I appreciate you being trying to help me out with this and I appreciate it. But you know very well I don’t like this online dating business”.

  “I know that girl, will you please let me finish first”.

  “Ok go ahead”

  “You are not going to say one word till I finish and I’ll let you speak after that, deal”

  “Deal”, I said knowing she’ll say what she have to say one way or the other.

  “Ok. So, there is this website Julia and I were talking about the other day...”

  “Julia?” I asked.

  She was glaring at me with frustrated eyes.

  “What did I tell you about not saying a word?”

  “Sorry” I said smiling.

  “Julia! the girl in the copying floor”.

  “Oh that cute girl who broke up with her long-distance boyfriend” I said recognizing the girl.

  “Yes, the same one”.

  “Ok”

  “So, she told me she was heartbroken after that and was feeling very low when her cousin suggested her for this website”.

  I wanted to tell her I don’t want to do anything with any website, but I kept myself quite ‘coz you don’t want to deal with a pissed Samantha. So I just listened.

  “She said she registered to that website and got herself a virtual boyfriend. She said that it’s all anonymous and you don’t have to disclose your identity and your personal information’s if you don’t want to. They match you with someone based on your preferences. You don’t have to worry about anything; I researched about this thing myself it looks safe and pretty fun to me”.

  Was she really saying what I was hearing? Or was it just my imagination that she has said “Virtual Boyfriend”.

  “Are you insane Samantha?”

  “What’s wrong with it?”

  “Look I told you I don’t want anything to do with the online dating shit”

  “But it’s not online dating Nikki”

  “It is a form of online dating Sammy, how is it different?”

  “You don’t have to date him like ever if you don’t want to. He’ll do anything you want and never say anything and be possessive. He’s going to be there whenever you want and you don’t have to worry about him taking advantage or anything and above all he is never going to cheat on you”, she said like she has solved the biggest problem in the world.

  “No”

  “But why not?”

  “Sammy I said no and I don’t want any further discussion on that”.

  Sammy got my tone which said no more discussion, she got up stomped her foot.

  “Then be stubborn”, she said and left for her room. I was not in any mood to talk to her in one of her stupid anger fits. I will deal with her tomorrow; she can be such a drama queen sometimes. I went to my room and ordered pizza. It arrived in 30 minutes; I left half in Sammy’s room and went to my room with the other half.

  Next morning I woke up before my alarm went to the kitchen, started the coffee and made breakfast. Sammy came out of her room and gave me the silent treatment. We went to the office and her silent treatment went on for a whole week. When it started bothering me I decided I’ll be the one to talk first ‘coz I know she can be stubborn.

  So, I went into her room on Friday unannounced and said, “Look, Sammy, what’s the problem, why are you being so stubborn”.

  “I am being stubborn, really”

  “Yes, you are the one giving me silent treatment”.

  “And you are the one who thinks I have no sense”

  “When did I say that?”

  “You don’t have to s
ay that, you think I am stupid telling you to try that VB thing out, you think I am stupid to risk your privacy like that. I have already researched about the whole thing and it is safe”.

  “I know you won’t do anything without checking it, but why don’t you get it I don’t want any relation real or virtual. At least for now I don’t want any boyfriend”.

  “But what’s the harm in trying it once. You know, it’s not like you can’t erase your account or stop talking to the guy if you don’t like it. That’s the whole point of the virtual boyfriend you know”.

  “Yeah I know but they are not real and sometimes they use the artificial intelligence, what use that will be?”

  “What is the harm to try?”

  “Nothing”

  “If you don’t like it, you can delete the account and I’ll never say anything about dating ever”.

  Sammy out of my back on this dating thing was a good deal, worth the profit right. And she is right I can delete the account whenever I want.

  “OK, I’ll do it later”.

  “Already done”

  “OMG Sammy, you are insane. You made an account for me already”.

  “I was being positive that you’ll come around”

  “Yeah right” I said with irritation.

  “Now login and talk to your boyfriend”.

  “Virtual boyfriend”.

  “Same” she said showing me her tongue.

  “Will do it later, I am tired. Going to sleep, goodnight”.

  “Whatever. Here”, she wrote something on the paper and said, “this is the site and your username and password for login”.

  I took the paper from her and went to my room. I checked the username “pussycat” and password “hungry for love”. Really.

  “Samantha I am gonna kill you” I shouted from my room and heard her laughing so she did this knowing it will irritate me. She is such a brat.

  I was curious how it will be, but I was tired too. So there was a fight going on between curiosity and tiredness in which obviously the curiosity won. I opened my laptop, fired up the program and logged into my account.

  MY VIRTUAL BOYFRIEND

  VB: Hey there I am Jacob.

  Me: Hello. I am Nichole.

  VB: How are you Nikki?

  Me: I don’t know. Tired and heartbroken.

  VB: Ouch. Long term relationship?

  Me: Three years.

  VB: Must be hurting like hell?

  Me: Yeah. Can we talk something else.

  VB: Sure. Why not?

  Me: Why are you here? I mean I am here because of my best friend.

  VB: Best friend? Interesting.

  Me: Don’t tell.

  VB: I am here because I am a sucker for any real relationship.

  Me: Don’t worry you are good without that. I have tried and tested.

  VB: Why did you breakup if it’s ok to ask?

  Me: Cheating boyfriend.

  VB: That’s why I don’t want to commit.

  Me: Hmmmmm .

  VB: Want to know a secret.

  Me: Yeah.

  VB: You don’t have to settle for something which ends up hurting you.

  Me: You sound like a philosopher.

  VB: Life teaches you so many things including philosophy.

  Me: Ever been in love?

  VB: Never.

  Me: Then you won’t understand.

  VB: You don’t have to take the poison for proving that it kills.

  Me: But you have to experience things to know the real effect?

  VB: I rest my case.

  Me: hahahhaa, that was easy.

  VB: Are you laughing at me?

  ME: Maybe. What are you going to about that? :p

  VB: Is that a challenge Miss Nikki?

  Me: I guess it is Mr. Jacob.

  VB: Bring it on then

  Me: I was kidding.

  VB: Me too.

  Me: How long have you been here.

  VB: A few times.

  That was way better than I thought. Jacob seemed to be a nice guy. We were talking about everything and nothing. We never shared our personal details but we shared our interests which were mostly common. He was twenty-five and I told him I was twenty-four. He liked to read like me, loved the music, travelling and he told me he can play guitar which I am dying to learn. It was nice talking to him. When it was late I was feeling tired we declared it a night. He said he’ll meet me at 6 pm tomorrow.

  Me: Why 6 pm?

  VB: You mentioned in your account that you work a day job and will be available around 6. And I mentioned about my job too.

  Me: That would be Sammy.

  VB: Oh! Is the timing a problem?

  Me: No, it’s ok.

  VB: You sure? I can be here whenever you want.

  Me: Nah! It’s fine.

  VB: You can talk to me whenever you want ok. I don’t mind.

  Me: Sure.

  VB: Seriously you can ping me anytime you want.

  Me: I will. Meet you at 6pm. Bye

  VB: Bye. Have sweet dreams.

  Me: You have salty and horror dreams.

  VB: hahahaa, where did you learn that from.

  I was showing my tongue like he’ll be able to see me through my laptop.

  Me: you didn’t like.

  VB: I didn’t say that.

  Me: Bye. I’m sleepy.

  And I didn’t wait for his reply and closed the program. I knew if I didn’t leave I’ll be sitting here till the morning talking to him. And I knew he didn’t want to leave too. So I just closed it, I programmed the website with my login and password on my phone for easy access, just being positive you know. After that, I don’t know when I went to sleep and woke up in the morning to the face of smiling Sammy sitting on the corner of my bed.

  “How was it?” Sammy asked.

  “How was what?”

  “The talk with your Virtual Boyfriend”

  “Good”

  “So you are going to talk to him”

  “I guess so” and she was looking at me with ‘I told you so’ eyes.

  “Ok it was good, and we are going to talk at 6 pm today. Jacob is a nice guy, we are trying to be friends that’s all”

  “I didn’t say anything” we laughed. And then I told her about our conversation. She was laughing her ass off when I told her that I asked Jacob that who made him. That made me laugh too and thinking about that it was really silly of me. I was a little embarrassed. Then after telling her about my “First date” with my Virtual Boyfriend we got ready for office.

  In the office, I was in a dream-like haze going over the events of last night in my head. It felt good to talk to Jacob, not quite like connected or something but good better than I expected. And to be true I was looking forward to talking to him again. The day was busy so I just worked and forgot all about today’s meeting with Jacob. Sharp at 6 pm there was a message on my phone. I knew without checking it was Jacob. I was happy to see his message on my phone.

  I was talking to Jacob all the way back to home. He shared stories about his cat and I loved her by the end of the day. When I reached home I promised Jacob we’ll talk after dinner. So I changed and prepared dinner and after dinner I went straight to my room and started talking to Jacob.

  Me: You had dinner?

  His reply was instant like he was waiting for me on the other side. I liked that.

  VB: Yes. How was your day at office?

  Me: Busy.

  VB: What do you do?

  Me: Photo editing.

  Not exactly true but it’s not a lie too right. I am yet not comfortable about telling about my personal details to a total stranger. Maybe later, when I’ll be sure about trusting Jacob.

  VB: That’s pretty cool.

  Me: What do you do?

  VB: I am in a construction business.

  Me: Pretty boring.

  And we talked more and more. Every day there was something new we were learning about each other. I liked the way h
e thought, he was completely opposite of Nolan. And I liked him for what he was. He went to community services every Sunday and helped the homeless. He loved pets. He liked to sing but was horrible with tunes. He cried watching emotional movies. It was so much fun talking to him. He will tell me the stories of his school time and how he used to annoy his parents as a kid and I’ll laugh my ass off. After a month talking to Jacob I got to know him as an emotional person who never shows weakness. He became a part of my life. I’ll come from office and tell him about my day and share everything with him, except the personal details and our true identity. I was still not sure about doing that soon and so was Jacob. But we talked about everything apart from that. He’ll send me funny images of cats any everything he saw will make him laugh and I did the same. It was like we shared our happiness as well as concerns with each other. When Sammy got sick I told him that I hate hospitals and I am so worried about Sammy’s health. He said he can come and be with me there but I was not sure. But then the doctor said it was just flu and Sammy will get better within a week. I told him I’ll be talking to him in a while ‘coz I was not being a good friend to Sammy and I wanted to spend time with her. He said it was completely fine and said he’ll be there whenever I want and asked me to take care of Sammy and myself.

  So we spent the night at the hospital and next day Sammy was discharged and we went home. For next few days it was my best friend and me, I took leave from the office and tended Sammy for four days. She was feeling much better. I was kind of tired one evening being home for four days so I helped Sammy sleep and went for star bucks two blocks away from our apartment.

  MEETING A STRANGER

  I was waiting in the line for my Java Chip Frappuccino when I noticed that the café was so crowded. I was wishing I’ll be able to get a seat, I didn’t want to go back so early. I needed some fresh air. When I got my order I was happy to get a seat at the corner near the window. I was thinking about Jacob when I heard a guy clear his throat. I looked up, there was a guy standing near my table tall around 6’3, ice blue eyes, black ruffled hair, fair skin wearing black button-down shirt and denim. He cleared his throat again and I was embarrassed that he has noticed me checking him out. So, I looked at his face.

  “Excuse me?” the guy said.

  Oh my god, his voice was like smooth silk chocolate, so damn sweet. I can lose myself in that voice. The voice which can melt your inside. He had ice blue eyes, they looked so deep. I don’t know there was something about those eyes. I wanted to loose myself in them. Who was this guy, some Greek God?

  “Ahem, excuse me?” he said again.

  Holy shit I was lost in my train of thoughts again. I wanted to dig a hole around me and bury myself in that hole.

  “Sorry, yes” I finally said scolding myself in my head.

  “I am sorry, but there is no other seat available in the café so if you don’t mind”.

  “Ammmmm” I don’t know what happened to my brain. Why is it acting dead?

  “So, can I sit here?” he asked politely.

  “Yeah. Sure”, I said.

  “Thank you” and with that he was sitting next to me. I caught his essence and it screamed all male, his own scent combined with his cologne. He had a lean body, the one to die for. I could make out his muscles through his button-down. Was I going nuts? What had happened to me suddenly? Why am I behaving so strange? I was drinking my coffee when out of the blue he asked.

  “Are you a regular here? Is it always this crowded?”

  “Yes and no. Yes, I am a regular here but it’s not always this crowded. I don’t know why today is an exception or maybe it’s crowded at this time”.

  “Oh. You see I am new here so it’s kind of awkward to go to crowded places”.

  “You don’t like crowded places. Do you?”

  “Is it that obvious?”

  “Nah, just that I am good at reading people”.

  And he laughed. The laugh which can take your breath away. I stopped breathing for a minute and my heart skipped a beat.

  “Jake”, he extended his hand towards me and I was sitting there like a deer in front of headlights. He saw my face and his expression faded. No, no, no it was going wrong. You have to do something quickly. I said to myself.

  “Nikki”, I blurted like I suddenly remember my name and shook his hand. His hands were hard like he works a lot.

  “Nice to meet you, Nikki. You from around here”.

  “Same here and no I am from West Virginia”.

  “Oh. I am from Texas”

  “Ok”, did I just say ok really?

  After that, we were silent. He must think I’m a weirdo. I got up and collided with a waiter. The cold coffee he had in his tray went down on me and I can feel the chills of the cold coffee all over my stomach and down my jeans. Gross.

  “Are you ok?” Jake asked.

  “Yeah fine. Thank god for cold coffee”, I replied trying to lighten the mood.

  He laughed again and I forgot about the coffee dripping down my shirt and jeans.

  “Do you need help?”

  “No, I’m ok”

  “You sure”

  “Positive”

  I was trying to walk with all the sticky mess when I dropped my phone. Can this day go any worse? I bent down to pick up my phone and when I got up I hit his chin with my head hard. Oh my god, I got the answer yes my day can go so much worse. Jake was grunting in pain.

  “I am so sorry” I was saying trying to check his chin. He was holding it so tight with his hand.

  “Please let me check” I asked politely. He removed his hand and I checked there was no blood thank god. I took one ice cube fromm the table and put it on Jake’s chin.

  “Here, it’ll be fine. And I’m really very sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you”

  “I know its ok”, he smiled.

  “You fine”

  “Yeah I am. You can put that ice cube down. It’s no biggie” he said.

  “Hmmm” worst day ever in my life, “I think I should leave”.

  “It was nice meeting you Nikki”.

  “Yah ditto”

  That got a big laugh from him again. I took a cappuccino for Sammy and went out of the café, disappointed that Jake didn’t ask for my number or workplace. I was hoping we’ll meet again soon. I took a cab back to my apartment because I was feeling so gross and wanted to shower badly.