Love Online

by Ssam

  ***************

  {JAKE}

  My cock jerked and I know she can feel it hardening. So she is being playful today.

  “Nikki baby don’t play with fire. You know I am hanging by a thread here” I told her. She was smiling.

  “But what if I want what you want” she asked.

  “Make no mistakes Nikki. I won’t mind joining the red ribbon club” I said.

  She laughed. I kissed her hard and all laughter was forgotten. She had her hands in my hair. I moved my hands to cup her face. I kissed her for a moment and then I pulled back and she mewled like her favorite toy was taken from her. I gave her a peck on her lips and she was pouting. She looked so cute that I felt bad for not giving her what she wanted.

  “Baby you are not ready for this yet. You have a flu and we can’t do anything yet. I want to but I can’t risk your health” I said with a calm voice. She nodded and held her hands out like babies to be picked up. I laughed and picked her up in my arms and took her to bed. I towel dried her hair and helped her to put on clean clothes.

  “What do you want to eat for dinner today? Something special?”

  “No I like the soup”

  “But it’s Thanksgiving Nikki”

  “No my stomach can’t take a special treat. You order something for yourself Jake. I know you are bored eating the plain soup and bread” she smiled. I don’t like eating alone now that I always had Nikki with me at almost every meal.

  “No I’ll have soup too” I said returning her smile.

  “Where is Sammy? Why didn’t she came to meet me?” I had been thinking when she’ll ask.

  “She came here every day but you were always sleeping whenever she came to meet you. She’ll be here in some time” like on queue the doorbell rang.

  “That must be Sammy” I told her and went to open the door. I was right Sammy and Ian were on the door.

  “Hey. How is she? Still sleeping?” Sammy asked.

  “No she is feeling better today” I told her. Ian and I shook hands and nodded to each other. Then we went to our room.

  “Hello Nikki. How are you feeling?” she asked Nikki.

  “Hey Sammy, I am fine. I was waiting for you” she was smiling. I knew she was missing Sammy.

  Sammy hugged Nikki, “I missed you too” she said. “Happy Thanksgiving” she looked at both of us, “I brought you Thanksgiving dinner”.

  “Thank you Sammy. How are you Ian?” she asked Ian who was standing in silence. He smiled at her.

  “I am good Nikki. You seem to be doing fine. Sammy was eating my ears off worrying about you” he winked at her and after two days I was feeling the tension leaving the room. When Nikki got the flu I was so worried about her. She was in pain most of the time but she never let it show and I was worried. But now looking at her joking around I feel the worry lift from my shoulder. I was finally relaxed after two days now hat Nikki was feeling better.

  “She worries over nothing” Nikki teased Sammy.

  “Look I am happy that my best friend is normal again so nothing can spoil my mood. The dinner is getting cold come on we have a feast to dig in” she said.

  “I’ll have the soup. I am not sure my stomach can take the feast yet. You guys enjoy” Nikki told the same thing to Sammy she told me.

  “You sure?” Sammy asked.

  “Positive” Nikki smiled.

  We finished our dinner and spent some time together. Sammy and Nikki were catching on their lost time so Ian and I went for grocery shopping.

  “So how is it going for you and Sammy?” I asked Ian. We never got any alone time.

  “It’s good, great actually. She is really fun to be with” Ian said with a smile. It was good to be with someone who understands the love you fell for you partner. We shopped for groceries and then some other essentials and went home. Sammy was waiting in the living room.

  “Is Nikki alone in her room?” I asked her

  “She was feeling tiered so I let her sleep. How are you doing? She is worried about you. Do you want me to stay here? You can have rest for today” she said.

  “No I am fine. And I don’t need any rest” I smiled at her. After some convincing Sammy went back with Ian and I started unpacking the groceries in the kitchen. When I was done in the kitchen I went to our bedroom. Nikki was rubbing her eyes like she was trying to wake up.

  “Where were you?” she asked me still in the clouds of sleep.

  “I went shopping. You were running out of your tampon supply” I laughed.

  “Awwwww that’s so sweet, you went to get tampons for me” she was looking cute in her sleepy expression.

  “And I got chocolates for you too” I showed her the box of chocolates. She was smiling and our Thanksgiving went much better than I would have imagined two days earlier. Two days after thanksgiving Nikki was feeling almost fine. But I asked her to rest for a day more and she was irritated.

  “You know I am bored lying on the bed all day” she pouted.

  “I know baby, but it’s just one more day”

  “On one condition”

  “What?” I was doubtful on the tone she used.

  “You are going to join me in the bed”

  “Yes I am”

  “And we are not sleeping”

  “Ok, whatever you want” I smiled. Sleeping in bed together turned out to be a hot love making session. At the end both of us were breathing hard and trying to come down from our high.

  “I love you so much” Nikki whispered in my ears and went to sleep.

  SURPRISE SURPRISE

  {NIKKI}

  Finally the next day Jake let me go to the office, I was getting bored in the apartment. Office was a good distraction. I know Jake must have suffered a lot of loss in his business because he was taking care of me. I know I am so lucky that he loves me so much; he didn’t even hesitate for a minute for staying at home with me from last one week.

  We went to Texas two days before Christmas to make it up to his parents for Thanksgiving. They were so happy that we were there soon and I was happy that I was able to help Jake’s mom with the preparations. After dinner she showed me the old albums. Every time I found a compromising picture of little Jake in his birthday suit I never left a chance to pull his leg. It was fun making Jake blush. His mom and dad teamed up with me and Jake was pouting all the time that they love me more than their only son. This was the family I have always wished for, a loving mom, a caring dad and a cute supporting husband. Wow I didn’t even realize that I was thinking of a future with Jake. It was not scaring me anymore. I was ready for my future. I don’t want to wait anymore. I just want my family with Jake. When did this happen? I was looking at Jake with such affection laughing with his parents; he must have felt my gaze on him. He looked at me and winked.

  “Are you ok?” he asked me when we were going back to his room.

  “Never been better” I replied with a warm feeling in my heart. He held me to himself in the bed and I felt safe, I felt like I am complete and I don’t need anything else in my life ‘coz I had Jake.

  I woke up to darkness. I can’t tell what time it was, but there was dark outside. I was not feeling good. I wanted to puke, but Jake had his arms around me in a tight vise. I tried to get out of his hold very slowly so I didn’t wake him up, but it was hard. So I pushed him hard and ran for the bathroom. I was hugging the porcelain and puking my gut out when I heard the bathroom door open behind me.

  “You don’t have to see this Jake. Go out” I told him. He didn’t listen to me as always and came behind me. He held my hairs out of my face and was rubbing my back. When I was finally done Jake cleaned my face with a wet towel, then took me to the bedroom. He put me down on the bed and gave me the glass of water.

  “Here drink this you’ll feel better”

  “Thank you. I think I ate something or maybe it’s the flu again” I didn’t want to fall sick again.

  “We’ll go to the doctor in the morning” Jake said.

>   “No I have the medicines from last time. I don’t want to go to the doctor again. Please” I pleaded.

  “We’ll see in the morning”

  I took the medicine so I was feeling better in the morning and Jake didn’t force me to go to the doctor. Christmas was a big festival for Jake’s family. His mom and dad were up early on Christmas morning when we went down from Jake’s room. She was cooking cinnamon rolls, the smell was heavenly.

  It was time for gifts. I didn’t know what everyone would like so I bought what I thought everyone will like. First Jake’s parents gave us the gifts. It was a holiday for two to Hawaii. Jake gave his mom an ancient painting which was worth more than my one-month paycheck and for his dad he got him a new car. I was feeling a little unsure about my gifts after that. Jake’s mom must have noticed my discomfort so she smiled at me.

  “Ummm… I was not sure what would u like. It’s not much” I handed them their presents.

  Jake’s mom was the first one to open her present it was a frame of Jake and his parents laughing. I took that picture when we were here last time and it was a very good one. So I went to the market and framed it in a silver frame. Jake’s mom had tears in her eyes. I guess that means she liked it.

  “I love it Nikki. Thank you so much” I saw the approval in Jake’s dad’s eyes. I released the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. Next was Jake’s dad to open his present. It was a similar frame but it had the picture of Jake’s parents only. I framed this picture ‘coz they were looking at each other with so much love, affection and respect for each other that anybody can see the bond between them. Jake’s dad had a warm smile on his face and he looked at mom with the similar feelings.

  “Nikki it’s perfect. Thank you” Jake’s dad hugged me and kissed my forehead with the fatherly love I was missing after my parent’s death. My throat felt heavy with emotions. Jake cleared his throat.

  “If we are done with all the emotions here may I please open my present now” all of us laughed and I nodded. I was hoping Jake will like this one. It was a platinum band which had an encryption of forever yours in the middle with the links all around it. I saw this one in the shop and I thought of Jake. He was looking at me with those deep ice blue eyes and he had satisfaction written all over his face. Like he was not sure I’ll want a forever with Jake. Jake’s parents had a similar expression on their face like they had found the answers to all their questions.

  “Nikki this is the best gift ever. Thank you so much” then he kissed me in front of his parents. The kiss which can make your toes curl. I forgot everything and kissed him with all the feelings I had. Then I heard Jake’s dad clear his throat and oh my god I wanted to die with mortification. Jake chuckled at my embarrassment; I know my face must have gone red.

  “Ok that’s enough. Let her open her present” Jake’s mom scolded him. I opened the packet Jake had given me. When I opened it, there was a beautiful white gold pendant inside it.

  “I love this. Thank you Jake” I kissed him lightly on his lips, just a peck this time.

  “Open it” he pointed for the pendant.

  I opened it and there was a picture of me on one side and a picture of Jake on the other. And in the middle there was an infinity sign.

  “Oh my god Jake this is so wonderful” I saw his mom nodding, “Please help me put it on” and Jake helped me. I like the idea of having Jake near my heart always. I couldn’t help the ear to ear smile on my face.

  We were at Jakes home for three more days after Christmas Eve. I was not feeling well, I had been puking most of the times in evenings and feeling feverish, but I didn’t want to tell Jake about it because then he’ll take me to the hospital. So I took the medicines I had earlier, I always felt better after taking the meds. Jake had been out of his office so much lately first with my illness and then with Christmas so he was working so hard to make up for the lost time. He was working most of the times than not and he always came late from the work. When even after ten days I was not feeling fine and there was no improvement in my health I was a little worried. I wanted to talk to Jake, but he always came after I was sleeping and went to office before I was awake. Sammy was on her vacation with Ian so calling her was out of question. I decided I’ll go alone. I was sitting in the waiting room when I got a text from Jake saying he was going out of the country for two days and will be very busy. I was going to reply to that text when the nurse called my name so I put the phone back and went inside.

  “Hello Nichole” the doctor was a young guy, his smile was very comforting.

  “Hello doctor. It’s Nikki”

  “I am Ryan. So you are not feeling well?” he asked.

  “I had a flu last month I think its back and I am taking the meds from last ten days but I still puke a lot and feel feverish” I told him.

  “Ok no worries. We’ll take care of that. Will you please come to the examine room with me?”

  “Sure” I went to the smaller room and the doctor checked me. After ten minutes he took my blood samples and asked me to wait for the report. I went back to the waiting room and tried to call Jake but his phone was switched off. Maybe he was on the plane, so I left a message.

  Me: Have a safe flight. Miss u. Please call me as soon as u reach there.

  After half an hour, my name was called again. I went inside; the doctor had the same smile on his face.

  “So you found what is wrong with me?” I asked.

  “There’s nothing wrong with you Nikki, we have your blood reports” he pointed to the reports on his desk, “and it looks like you are pregnant. Congratulations”.

  “No no that’s not possible I took the birth control pills. I can’t be pregnant you are wrong” I mumbled. I was not able to breathe; there was an ache in my heart. I could only see darkness in front of my eyes.

  “Nikki please breath, it’s ok. Put your head between your legs. Yes, like that” it was the doctor’s voice. It felt like coming from afar. After some time I was breathing normally.

  “You feeling ok now? I take it this news was not a good one for you.” He asked.

  “Are you sure it’s not the flu. I never missed my pills” what am I going to do now? Jake is going to panic. He clearly said he didn’t want children. He’ll never forgive me for this. What if he leaves me because of this?

  “No Nikki, I am sure. You said you were taking pills for your flu. The birth control pills don’t work with other strong medicines. And you know they are not 100% safe” he looked at me in concern “If you are feeling ok we’ll have to take an ultrasound to check how far you are” the doctor broke my thoughts. This was not a horror dream it was a reality of my life. I didn’t trust my voice so I nodded. I don’t know how I came to the other room when I changed out of my clothes but I was lying on the bed and there was a machine with a monitor. A nurse was rubbing a cold fluid on my stomach and was running the machine over my stomach. I couldn’t see anything in the monitor; it was the same for a few minutes. Then suddenly the machine stopped and there was a teeny tiny dot on the machine. The nurse smiled, that’s your baby. You are four weeks in your pregnancy. That was when I realized that what this means. I was going to be a mom; this was what I wanted on Christmas, My family. It was then I realized that it didn’t matter anymore to me how Jake will react to this news. Because I was in love, this was the love at first sight with my teeny tiny blip. There were tears in my eyes but I was smiling. The nurse gave me the tissue papers.

  “Thank you” I said with teary eyes.

  “You know I have three children. I felt the same every time what you are feeling now when I saw them for the first time like this. Watching your child in your womb can do miracles” she smiled.

  “Yeah I think you are right”

  “Do you want me to print this for you?” she asked.

  “Yes please”

  She printed the picture. I got up from the bed, cleaned up and got dressed. The nurse took me to doctor’s room. This time, I was feeling calm and happy. I had
my baby with me.

  “So you are four weeks along and everything looks fine” the doctor said.

  “I took medicines for flu for past ten days. Are you sure it hasn’t harmed my baby?” I was worried for my teeny.

  “No. Your baby is perfectly all right for now. But you have to be very careful for the coming month. Try not to take stress and eat healthy food. You’ll feel morning sickness for some time but that will be over very soon. Here I am writing some vitamins for you, take them time to time and everything will be fine” he wrote the meds and asked me to take the next appointment in three weeks.

  I went back to the apartment and slept. I woke up to the sound of my ringing phone. I checked there were ten missed calls and five messages. All from Jake, I forgot to call him. I called him back; he picked the phone on first ring.

  “Where the hell were you Nikki?” he shouted.

  “I fell asleep. Sorry”

  “Sorry. You know you almost gave me heart attack. I was one minute away from coming back home” he was worried. For a second I wanted to ask him to come back. But he already had done so much for me.

  “I said I am sorry. Don’t worry I am ok. How was your journey?” I tried to change the subject.

  “Look Nikki I have to finish some work, I’ll talk to you later” and then he went. I know he was pissed at me. Suddenly I was feeling very emotional. I wanted Jake with me. I cried myself again to sleep. The next time I woke up it was night already and I was feeling like puking again. I ran to the bathroom. So I was one of those women who had evening sickness instead of morning. Wow that was just perfect. I was pregnant, I was alone and to top them all I had evening sickness. After my puking I went to the kitchen and made myself ginger tea which the nurse at the hospital has suggested. It worked. I had dinner and went back to sleep.

  YET ANOTHER HEARTBREAK

  Office was busy. Jake hadn’t called me yet. I was thinking of calling him when Nolan came to my cabin.

  “Hey Nikki, I am really sorry about Jake” he said. I froze.

  “What happened to Jake?” no nothing bad can’t happen to him, he was alright. He had to.

  “No nothing happened to him. I thought you knew” he was not looking in my eyes.

  “Nolan look I can’t play this hide and seek games. Just tell me what you meant” I warned him.

  “Nikki I went to a party day before yesterday and…..”

  “And Nolan”

  “Jake was kissing a girl there. I thought it must be an accident and he must have told you”, no this can’t be true; Nolan was lying so that he can take his revenge.

  “Shut up Nolan. Jake is not like you he’ll never do that to me. He loves me and he’ll never cheat on me like that” I tried to sound confident.

  “I knew you won’t believe me and I don’t blame you for it. What I did to you was horrible and I have no explanation for it. But I still love you Nikki and I’ll never let Jake hurt you worse. Here look at this picture, I took it in the party to show you the truth” he handed me a picture of Jake and Michelle kissing each other. My vision was blurry.

  “No it’s not true” I said in a weak voice.

  “Nikki I am sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. But Jake isn’t worth your love” Nolan said.

  I can’t trust it. I know Jake loves me so much to do such a thing. There must be some explanation. I’ll talk to him and we’ll seek this mess out. I know my Jake. I can’t let Nolan ruin my forever like this.

  “Get out” I said in a hard voice.

  “But Nikki…”

  “Please Nolan; just get out of my cabin. I need to finish my work” I went to the door and opened it so that Nolan can go away.

  “Ok Nikki, I know you are hurt and you don’t trust me but if you need me anytime I’ll be there for you” with that he went out. I want to hit something. Preferably Nolan’s head he is an asshole. He wants to break Jake and me up. That’s why he is cooking up these stories. But what about the picture, I am sure Jake will have an explanation. I’ll call Jake and ask him. I spent the remaining day in the office thinking about Jake.

  I reached the apartment and called Jake. I know it will be early morning in Hong Kong and Jake must be getting ready for work but I need to talk to him or I won’t be able to sleep. He hasn’t called me yet. He picked his phone after a few rings I was going to say something when I heard a girl’s voice.

  “Jake babe who is calling you so early, just leave the call and come back to bed with me” Michelle I can recognize her voice anywhere. What was she doing with Jake? And what was she doing in his room so early? No this can’t happen to me, my heart can’t be crushed again and this was a bad dream. Suddenly I felt like puking which has nothing to do with my evening sickness. I ran to the bathroom and puked all the coffee I had in the office. Was Michelle right all this time? Is it possible Jake was having this fling with me and now he is bored with me? Is he really going back to Michelle after all?

  My stomach started rumbling. I haven’t been eating all day. My baby must be hungry. I’ll have to eat; I’ll have to take care of my baby. I won’t reach any conclusion without talking to Jake. So I went to the kitchen and fixed myself a salad with lots of fruits. After dinner I went to sleep. That night I had a strange dream. I was searching for Jake in woods, but I never found him, I was all alone in there, I cried, I shouted his name, but he never answered. In the morning my pillow was damp with crying. I wasn’t feeling like going to the office so I stayed in the apartment. I was going through that stage of depression again, I was sulking. I wanted to talk to Sammy, but I didn’t want to ruin her vacation with Ian.

  The next day went like the previous. Except the ache in my heart, it was increasing day by day. It had been two days and Jake hasn’t called me yet. I wanted the answers to my questions. I was sitting on the couch when my phone rang. There was a ray of hope in me. That died when display showed Nolan’s name.

  “Yes Nolan” I asked him.

  “Nikki you still don’t trust me right. Come to the fifth avenue, the harry Winston store you’ll see for yourself” and he hung up with that. I got ready and went to the address which Nolan had told me. I covered my face with the scarf and went inside and sure there were Jake and Michelle standing in front of a counter buying rings. Michelle said something to Jake which I was not able to hear from this distance. Jake pulled out a ring out of a box and put it on Michelle’s hands and Michelle started jumping up and down. Jake was smiling at her, they looked happy. I couldn’t watch it anymore. Didn’t let me feel anything because I knew if I let it take over me I’ll go in a panic. I ran out of the shop and reached for my car. I was out of breath when I felt somebody hugging me. It was Nolan; I don’t know why but was relieved to see him.

  “Home” that was all I could say and there was darkness around me. When I opened my eyes I was not in my apartment, but I knew this place. Nolan took me to his apartment.

  “Thank god Nikki you got up. I was thinking of taking you to a hospital” Nolan said.

  “How long have I been out?”

  “It’s been half an hour”

  “You want to go to the hospital. Should I cal Sammy?” Nolan asked.

  “No, but I need a favor” I replied.

  “Anything Nikki” Nolan smiled.

  “I don’t want to talk about Jake so you are not going to mention him and I want you to go to my apartment and move my things to some hotel” I told him. I can’t go back to that apartment. I don’t want to face Jake ever. He doesn’t deserve my anger. He doesn’t deserve me. And he doesn’t deserve my baby. This was my baby and I’ll make sure my tenny will never be a person like asshole scumbag Jake.

  “Nikki you don’t have to move to a hotel. You can live here as long as you want” Nolan said.

  “No I don’t want you to suffer because of me Nolan. Please do me this one favor and I’ll be no trouble for you”

  “Nikki you can never be a trouble for me you know that. And you are staying here in this apartment that
is final. If you are not comfortable with me being here then I’ll move to a hotel. But you are staying here” Nolan said.

  “No I can’t send you away from your home. It’s ok we can stay here”

  Nolan went to my apartment and moved my important stuff like clothes and my personal stuff to his apartment. He never mentioned meeting Jake and Jake never called me so he must be busy with Michelle to notice that I was out of that apartment and his life for good. Or maybe he was happy that I did move out, maybe he was happy that he didn’t have to explain anything to me or breakup with mes because I did that for him. I switched off my phone and Nolan helped me get a new number.

  Sammy was coming back in two days so I called her from my new number and told her everything what had happened. She said she was coming back that day and I didn’t stop her this time. I wanted her with me. I was feeling so alone, broken. What I felt the first time when Nolan broke up with me was intensified to a degree of torture this time. I asked Sammy not to pick up Jake’s calls.

  Sammy reached Nolan’s apartment the next day. She was acting like a mother hen. She didn’t let Nolan near me and I was thankful for that. I was not in any condition to deal with any questions or stares Nolan had in his eyes.

  “Sammy I want to go away from here” I told her when she was lying on the bed with me with my head on her lap.

  “Yeah we’ll go back home Nikki. I am so done with the city life” Sammy said not understanding what I wanted to convey.

  “No Sammy. I don’t want to go home. I want to leave this country. I can’t stay here anymore”

  “Nikki if you are sure u don’t want to stay here we can go anywhere you want” why she have to be so stubborn?

  “No Sammy you are not going anywhere, you just started planning your life with Ian and I don’t want to ruin that for you. I am going alone”.

  “Nikki you know you are my first priority and everything comes after you. So don’t you dare to say you are going alone”

  “Listen Sammy I know you love me a lot but at some point I have to learn living alone. Look you will always be a big part of my life and we’ll always be in touch. But now it is about time we start making our future. Your future is here with Ian, not with me. So you are staying here with Ian otherwise you know if you don’t agree with me I’ll leave from here without telling you where I am going. Now decide what you want, me away from you for good or me away from you but in contact” I knew this was the only way she’ll agree to my decision and I really don’t want what happened between Jake and me to affect Sammy’s life in any way. She deserves all the love Ian has for her.

  “You promise you’ll be safe and in contact with me” she finally said with tears in her eyes.

  “I promise” I hugged her and we cried all night.

  In the morning when I woke up I had no clue what I was going to do. I knew I wanted to be far away from this place but where I had no idea. Sammy and Nolan wanted to stay home with me but I insisted them to go to office after breakfast so I can be alone at Nolan’s apartment and clear my mind. It took a huge amount of convincing but they left. I fired up my laptop and wrote a resignation mail to my advertising company. Then I checked my main bank account for the money I had in there. I had enough to survive anywhere. And with my work experience I knew I could get a job in any advertising firm. It will be difficult to set up a new life with my teeny but it was worth the effort. I put a hand on my stomach and started talking to teeny.

  “Hey baby. This is your mommy; you know I love you so much. You don’t have to worry I will take care of you and keep you safe. I’ll give you so much love you won’t feel alone ever. You just take care of yourself and be healthy, ok” oddly it felt good talking to my baby. I knew he can’t listen to me but comforting my baby calmed me enough to make a decision. I had to move now. I can’t put Sammy or Nolan in any trouble. I booked the flight for my destination, packed my bags and left for the airport before Sammy and Nolan can get back from office.

  I GOT A DOCTOR

  After a week in Paris, I was still struggling for a job. Sammy and Nolan had been so angry with me for vanishing like that from New York. They went nuts when they didn’t find me in Nolan’s apartment. I called them as soon as I landed in Paris. Sammy stopped talking to me for a few days. But after three days of silence my best friend was worried for me. I wanted to tell her about my baby but the doctor had asked me to wait till the sixth week which will be next week. I don’t know how Sammy is going to react to this. And I need to find a good OB/GYN for my checkup. My phone rang; I took it out from my bag.

  “Hello Sammy” I said smiling.

  “Nikki I am so happy” she was shouting on the phone. I had to laugh at her enthusiasm.

  “Ok that is a good thing but may I know why?” I asked.

  “Ian proposed me just now and I said yes. We are getting married” she seemed so happy. I know I should be happy for Sammy. But I felt my throat choking up and my vision blurred. I was trying so hard not to remember Jake’s face.

  “Wow Sammy I am so happy for you” I tried to say in a calm voice.

  “I am really sorry Nikki. I wanted to share this news first with you but I totally forgot it must really be hard for you. I was not thinking at all, I am sorry” I know she was feeling upset for me. But it was not about me it was her day so tried my best to sound happy.

  “Are you kidding me Sammy I am so happy for you, I have always wanted to see you settling down and getting married. So tell me all about it” Sammy started with all the details and it turned out that they wanted to get married as soon as possible. So they have decided on a summer wedding. I would be six months pregnant by the time of the wedding.

  “Nikki I am missing you a lot”

  “Me too Sammy” there was a call waiting on my phone “Sammy listen I am getting a call from one of the ad agency I have applied for. I need to take this call I’ll talk to you in sometime ok” I took the call.

  “Hello may I talk to Nichole Allen?” there was a guy on the other end.

  “Yes, this is Nichole” I was hoping that it was good news.

  “Hi I am calling from B&D ad agency. You had an interview with us yesterday”

  “Yes” I replied.

  “You have been selected for the job. May I know when you can start the job?” I took a sigh of relief. I had been stressing for the job from last week. And the stress was bad for me. So finally I could relax a bit.

  “I can start from tomorrow if you want me to” I wanted to start working so I can distract my mind. I was doing everything I can do not to think about Jake.

  “That will be perfect. So I’ll see you at 10 am tomorrow. Please bring your original documents with you”

  “Sure. Thank you and have a nice day” I said smiling.

  The next day I got up and ready for my new job. I was thankful for the evening sickness because if it would have been in morning there was no way I could get up and go to the office. My new office was half an hour ride away from my apartment. I took a cab and entered the office. After two hours of formalities I had my new id card and my new cabin in my hand. The bosses in the company were Bryan and Diana. They were so nice and the editors in my team Cedric and Grace were good natured too. All in all, I liked my new job. It didn’t feel like my first day, I felt comfortable talking to these people. The week went pretty much same as the first day. I kept myself busy in work most of the time. I searched for a good OB/GYN and took the appointment. On my appointment date I reached the clinic and went to the doctor. To my surprise, the doctor was a very handsome guy. He had a charming smile, big grey eyes and blonde hair. He had a tanned skin more like a surfer and he had a muscular body. For a second I was thinking he must have chosen a wrong profession, he should be a model or something.

  “Hello Nichole I am Nicolas Bernard” he smiled and I had to laugh at that too. His smile was perfect like him. I mean you can’t blame a girl for appreciating a handsome man. I was not checking him out just looking at his p
erfection.

  “It’s Nikki. And hello doctor Nicolas” I replied with a returning smile.

  “You can call me Nick” and both of us started laughing.

  “Ok so how are you feeling?” Nick asked.

  “I am good except for the evening sickness and the mood swings. That is worst and I am hungry most of the time and a bit tired” I replied.

  “I am sorry about the evening sickness and mood swings but I am afraid that is going to be there for next four to six weeks and the hungry part is good for baby that means he or she is healthy”

  “I hope so”

  “So should we find out? Would you mind coming to the examination table?”

  “Sure” I replied and went to the examination table. I changed to the gown he gave me. Nick got to the ultrasound machine and started rubbing the gel on my stomach. He put the machine on my stomach; I could see my teeny had developed a bit. I can’t say it was so much just little bit. And I could hear something on the machine.

  “That is the heartbeat of your baby, it’s very strong. Your baby is healthy as a horse” Nick told me. He printed a copy of ultrasound for me and gave me a towel to wipe the gel. I changed my clothes.

  “Where is the father? We need to discuss some important details” he questioned.

  “I am a single mother and I don’t have any family in here so you’ll have to discuss everything with me”

  “Oh. It’s ok. So as I said the baby is healthy, you need to eat healthy food and stay away from too much stress so we can keep him that way. You can notice a little spotting for some time which is very common but if you think it’s more than a little you need to call me and come here for a checkup. I am writing some vitamins which you have to take regularly. We’ll meet in your second trimester which will be around twelve week from now. You need to take care till then. And if anything happens in between have my card and call me” Nick smiled.

  “Thanks Nick. I will keep everything in mind” I replied and left the clinic.

  Nick was right about the evening sickness. I had to suffer with evening sickness for full fourteen weeks. But now after fourteen weeks in my pregnancy I am starting to show a bit and with no more evening sickness I can feel my energy returning. I like the little bump in my stomach when I touch it; it feels like I can connect to my teeny. Nick said he is not teeny anymore; he took me to lunch once when we were passing by each other in the market. He was laughing when I told him I call my baby teeny. He told me my teeny is the size of a lemon now. I like talking to Nick about my baby. I haven’t got any chance to tell Sammy about the baby yet because of the time difference and the stress Sammy is suffering because of the wedding. I am planning to surprise her with this news when I’ll meet her. I know she is going to go ballistic for this, but it will be fun. It’s like two months from now and Sammy is going nuts with the depression. She wants everything to be perfect. I can just guess what she must be going through. In office everyone is suspicious but nobody wants to be rude and ask me about it. I was going for dinner with Cedric and Grace on a Saturday night and waiting for a cab when a car stopped in front of us.

  “Hey gorgeous you want a lift” Nick asked from driver’s seat.

  “Hey Nick, we are going for dinner but can’t find cab” I told him.

  “Driver in your service ma’am” he smiled.

  “No it’s ok we’ll take the cab. I don’t want to trouble you” I said politely.

  “It’s no trouble Nikki, and I am starving. I guess I can have dinner with you guys if you don’t mind me tagging along” he asked pouting. It was so funny to look him pouting.

  “How can I deny when you put it that way” so we went to the restaurant. Dinner was fun; Nick was entertaining us with his patient’s stories. After dinner Nick dropped Cedric and Grace to their apartments. When we were alone in his car he asked me.

  “Fancy an ice-cream” I laughed at that.

  “Actually I was going to ask you to stop on an ice-cream stall. I am craving for Ben & Jerry’s strawberry cheesecake” we had the ice-cream and Nick took me to my apartment.

  “Thanks for the ride” I said getting out of the car.

  “Thanks for letting me have dinner with you”

  “It was fun to have you” I replied.

  After that it was common for me and Nick to go out and eat together. Cedric and Grace will pull my leg saying Nick and Nikki are going together again. I told them we are just friends. I had an appointment with Nick for the ultrasound for the eighteenth week. I went in and Nick was smiling.

  “Hey Nikki, I was waiting for you. Ready to see your teeny” he said teasing me.

  “Yes doctor” I laughed.

  He started with the machine and I could see my teeny on the screen all growing up. It was a miracle how my teeny started from a blip and now was the size of a bell pepper.

  “Do you want to know the sex of the baby?” Nick asked.

  “No. I want it to be a surprise” I told him.

  “Ok want me to print this one too”

  “Yes please” I wanted to collect every part of my teeny with me. His growing up inside me, his first movement everything I can get. Nick finished the printing and gave me the towel.

  “Your teeny is perfectly healthy. If you want we can have an anomaly scan two weeks later to find out your due date” I told him yes and went back to the apartment. At night, I called Sammy to know how she was doing.

  “Hey Sammy”

  “Hello stranger. I thought you don’t remember me anymore” she taunted.

  “I know and I am sorry. I was a bit busy with work and all. How are the preparations going and how are you holding up” I asked her. We talked for about half an hour. And I promised Sammy that I’ll be with her next month. I was happy that the wedding was in Florida not in New York City. I can’t bear the thought of going back to New York City and face the memories of Jake. It was hard to avoid those memories. I still had dreams about him sometimes. That face never left my memory.

  “Hey baby we are going for your aunts wedding next month. You’ll get to meet your aunt Sammy, I know you’ll love her and she’ll love as much as I do” I wanted to feel my teeny do something. I know some women can feel their baby kicking or move inside them but my teeny was lazy to move. I laughed at that thought. I had my anomaly scan two weeks later and Nick said everything was fine.

  “Why can’t I feel teeny move or kick? Is there something wrong?” I asked in concern.

  “No there is nothing wrong it is normal you’ll feel him in one or two weeks” Nick said calmly.

  “I need to go to my best friend’s wedding. Is it ok to travel?”

  “As long as you will be careful and take care of yourself it will be fine” after leaving from the clinic I wanted to go shopping. I needed new clothes; I was getting bigger by every passing week. Sammy is going to kill me for not telling her. She’ll have to make amends in the bridesmaid dress. I was getting out of the clinic when I heard Nick calling my name.

  “I am off from the clinic. I’ll drop you at your apartment” he said.

  “No it’s fine Nick. I need to go shopping, I’ll be fine”

  “Shopping for the wedding? Where is the wedding?” he asked.

  “Florida”

  “Do you mind if I come with you. I am in urgent need of a vacation but I don’t know what to do. Florida will be a great vacation destination” ok so what do you say to this type of question.

  “Yeah sure Why not” I shrugged. We went shopping and had dinner. I told Nick we’ll be leaving in two weeks.

  Nick and I were entering the airport when I saw someone I thought looked like Kevin Jake’s dad. But when I started looking I couldn’t find him.

  “What happened? Why did you stop?” Nick asked.

  “Nothing I thought I saw someone. But I guess it was just an illusion” and we went to our flight.

  Finally after hours of journey we reached the wedding destination, I was so tired. Nick went to his room and I
went to mine. I called Sammy from there.

  “Sammy I am in my room. You have to come here quickly. I have a surprise for you” I told her and she said she’ll be there in five minutes.

  I heard a knock on my door after ten minutes of hanging up the phone. I went to the door slowly so that Sammy won’t jump on me to hug me.

  “Hey Nikki what’s with the slow motion” she said raising an eyebrow.

  “Just being cautious” when she entered the room she saw what I meant. She stood there frozen. I was not expecting this reaction.

  “Nikki, what the fuck, When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?” she was confused like she can’t trust her eyes.

  “I wanted to give you a surprise” I replied smiling.

  “Is this …..” I knew what she wanted to ask.

  “No Sammy this is my baby, my teeny. I came here so that teeny can meet his aunt. I am so happy to have this baby. And I am happy for you too” I hugged her. She had tears in her eyes.

  “You should have told me Nikki. You went through all this alone. I should have been there for you. I am happy you are pregnant shocked but happy if you are. I can’t believe you are going to be a mommy and I am going to be an aunt” she put her hand on my growing belly and said, “Hello baby. This is your aunt I love you so much and I am going to spoil you so much. Your mom is a bad friend she didn’t tell me you were coming. But we’ll forgive her for this mistake. You must be happy in there, we will be waiting for you baby” awww that was so sweet, both of us had tears in our eyes. There was a knock on the door and Nick came in looking worried.

  “Hey what happened? Why are you crying” he came beside me and put his hand on my shoulder.

  “It’s nothing. Sammy was talking to teeny and I am a bit emotional you know” I smiled, “Sammy this is Nick and he is my doctor and Nick this is Sammy the soon to be bride”

  “Nice to meet you Sammy and congratulations”

  “Same here doctor” she smiled.

  “I am o sorry Sammy I’ll need the fitting redone for my costume” apologized to her.

  “It’s ok Nikki we have got three days to work on that” she smiled.

  “I came here to check how you were doing Nikki. My work is done here so ladies I’ll take your leave and meet you at dinner. You can enjoy your time together” with that Nick left and Sammy had that mischievous grin on her face.

  “Don’t get any ideas Sammy there is nothing going on here. He is just a good friend who wanted to go on vacation” I explained.

  “I never said a word” she laughed. We went for the fitting of my dress and the three days were over before we knew it. It was the big day of wedding and Sammy was nervous as hell.

  “Nikki I can’t breathe. I think I am going to die” I laughed at her expression.

  “Oh come on Sammy you have been ranting to me from last three days that you can’t wait now what? Why are you so nervous?” I tried to calm her down. Sammy’s mom came inside and said it’s time. And we heard the wedding march. Her dad was standing at the door. The ceremony was so good and everything went without a hitch. We danced and had a lot of fun. I was feeling tired by the time Sammy and Ian left for their honeymoon. I went to my room and slept. The next day we took the flight back to Paris. Nick was driving me to my apartment. I was missing all the fun Sammy and I had in old times. I can’t trust what had happened in last one and a half year. Nolan breaking my heart, Jake coming to my life and then again breaking my heart, one constant thing in all those times was Sammy. But now Sammy was away too. I was feeling so lonely and I didn’t realize I was crying till the time I felt a hand wiping them from my eyes.

  “Sorry these tears don’t know when to come out” I tried to smile.

  “Hey it’s ok. You want to talk about it. I am all ears” Nick smiled back.

  “Oh it’s nothing. I was missing Sammy. She is the only family I have got and now she is married too” I sighed.

  “You don’t have to feel alone. I will be here for you, you know” and Nick’s head was coming down to me. I blocked him with my hands.

  “Look Nick, you are a good guy and I like you a lot but as a friend. I have been there and been through all of this. I can’t risk everything one more time. I know I can’t punish you for someone’s mistake, but I am not alone now. I have teeny to take care of too. I am really sorry; I know there will be someone out there for you. But trust me that someone is not me” Nick was a good guy, but I was not ready for yet another relationship. I still had Jake in my heart and involving some other guy in this mess would be unfair to him.

  “Nikki you know you are the best girl have met till now. You are so strong; you sometimes amuse me with your strength. I want to be a part of your and teeny’s life. But if you are not ready I can wait for you. I know you had your heart broken, but I want to take care of you and the baby” he had sincerity in his voice but I didn’t have the strength to go through all that one more time. I was not strong enough for that.

  “You are already taking care of us doctor” I smiled and kissed him on cheek, “and thank you so much for that. Goodnight Nick” I waved him good night and went to my apartment. Next month went in a blur because of the work and setting up the room for my teeny. I wanted it to be best; I didn’t know the sex of my baby so it was so hard to choose the color scheme for the paint and furniture. I decided for the blue color, the mural I choose was a baby unicorn that will be protecting my baby. I was crossing the street when saw Patricia Jake’s mom, our eyes met for a second and I walked away from there without looking back again. So it was not an illusion that day they were really here in Paris. Was Jake with them too? How was he? Had he and Michelle been married by now? Was he happy with her? I didn’t want to think about him but those questions were haunting me. I went to the apartment, had dinner and tried to sleep through my confusing mind. I went to sleep but it was a very uncomfortable sleep. I dreamt of Jake that night. We were holding our baby and he was so happy to see our baby. I was looking at Jake and I had tears in my eyes. I never wanted to come out of that dream. It was my family in that dream I have always wished for. I had to get up halfheartedly to get ready and go to office. I wanted to talk to Sammy before starting my day so I called her.

  “Hey. How is it going with Ian?” I asked her when she picked up her phone.

  “How do you think it’s going Nikki? I am on my honeymoon. It’s awesome and you are disturbing a very intense sex right now” she said in an irritated voice. I had to laugh at that.

  “Really sorry to disturb you, but I wanted to make sure you were fine. Go ahead and enjoy your honeymoon. I miss you”

  “Miss you too Nikki. I’ll talk you later” and she hung up the phone.