by Gary Hawkes
CHAPTER
Hate having to always be connected to technology,
I guess the Real, REAL WORLD is more enlightening for me.
I guess I’m a dying breed though
We’ve already lost so much, instead of out brain, letting the machine grow
Soon writing will be impossible for us
Why write when you can even text on a bus?
Synergy is the goal apparently, where man and machine are one, what a catastrophe
We barely know ourselves, yet we’re going to make a copy
There is no way to not see this getting sloppy, Bending any sensible moral compass beyond it modern limits
Simply because we want to experiment
Has to be a better way to understand the human condition
Than inventing a machine to give us it’s rendition
We’ve evolved too much in too short a time
I don’t care if you don’t believe in evolution; it is what it, just look at the signs
Our DNA may struggle to keep up
As we constantly change our environment, lifestyle and diet
Think about the stimuli that babies get from birth to eighteen
You’ll see what I mean
More nonsense information than ever before
Processing all this will be a difficult chore
Resolution of these issues is a must
If we wait too long, our species could bust
Our changes to the planet in our brief stay
Is making dyer changes in a painful way
We were given this great thing and we pissed it away
All because a small few wanted more toys to play
SO HERE’S THE CHANCE TO MAKE IT RIGHT
CORRECT THE COURSE AND STRIVE FOR THE LIGHT
WALKING
Don’t feel like walking anymore
Going to call a friend of a friend
Otherwise I’m liable to walk until dead
Feet are blistered and bruised
Soul feels like it’s been used
But as soon as dried up and refreshed
Will get the 3rd wind that has always made successful ones the best…
…Well that didn’t work out surprise, surprise
I guess some people work every day in order to survive
I hate having someone tell me what to do
Although sometimes it’s myself that I can’t get through
Thoughts always get jumbled up in my head
Because of this, I’m pursuing performing instead
Of wearing a strangling cloth below my forehead
I’m not a bust my ass all day long for not much pay eventually dying in the sun
But I’m not a lazy ass either, moping around all day doing drugs like ether
I take cues from many of the greats
Careful not to tempt too many fates
It’s clear to me I’ve left too much on the table
Each new journey I discover wither I’m able
To really be somebody in this supposed land of the free
Even though I’ve been kicked around some; my optimistic eyes still see
Not quite time to fire it up and stick a fork in me
The natives have spoken, let the boy be.
The walking portion of the trip, I think is done
NO need for damaged feet, just to prove I’m someone
In the end though, it seems like only a small number have their reservations
Despite the color of my skin, my views come from the workers on those plantations
Well, workers who worked all day every day, for no pay, with little chance for play
I can no longer give the leaders from our history
The holier than thou sainthood that has placed us on this trajectory
They had many great ideas of course
But did you know that none of them were non-white, all were male, and black people barely even counted (not by their choice)
Government sanctioned oppression has lessened somewhat since then
Nowadays it’s just being different or hard to explain that may get you locked in
WAR ON DRUGS
When will the War on Drugs End?
2% of the people have my condition
It doesn’t affect me the way it affects you
I smoke every day, now what do you do
The one substance that helps treats this thing
Helps the prison builders’ money ring
Our country is not as serene as you like to think
Should a diabetic’s penicillin be stolen while on the brink?
Again, I’m no danger to you or to me, so why make a stink?
Who are we protecting by allowing this to go on?
The Drug Cartels Rejoice the longer this goes on
Its Illegality is why they the play the song
I’m not a dead beat, I have a job and a college degree
Don’t persecute me simply because marijuana, is not part of your pedigree
Hooray, it’s the WAR ON DRUGS
Still going on to this day
Locking up people for self-medicating
“All you need is Jesus” for your saving
Ignore the benefits to the bitter end
WE all know what’s best for THEM
Good people just trying to work things out,
Will get locked up, beat up, thrown away then discarded, moronic stupidity at the highest level, It should make you SHOUT!
Hooray, it’s the WAR ON DRUGS
Still going on to this day
Locking up people for self-medicating
“All you need is Jesus” for your saving
Ignore the benefits to the bitter end
WE all know what’s best for THEM
WOMAN
Met a good woman today
The Kind I could see myself with
Of course this was a single serving friendship
It ends on the high
Never worrying about the why
Of a relationship and all the tediousness
Does a new woman really give fulfill-ness?
Well a couple hours in a car
Makes me think I can go far
There are other good women out there
This one today as brief a friendship as it was, proved there’s no reason to be a bear
Of course she’s married and that’s okay,
It wasn’t about that with her anyway
I don’t want to get in the way of the other
But, just getting a free ride from a good person made me realize why I bother
Man wasn’t meant to be alone
I’m not even sure how to say no to certain ones
I seem connected to all of ‘em but there’s only so much of me to go around
Need a good woman to be a partner in life
Let’s enjoy the years together and forget about wasted time
Just a fellow good person I met randomly
On a walk down Chuckanut Drive, Thank you Kimmy
WORKIN’ AT THE FURNITURE STORE
Hate to work and run
But, I have to get to the sun
Get down south before the fall gloom sets in
These people have been good to me
Having income is a way to get free
But I can’t spend my time just using my body
My mind and spirit being able to thrive is my antibody
Get some cash over these next few weeks
Have a cushion for the next trip; ensure there’s no dangerous leak
Get somebody to come along
Maybe a fine lady that’ll sing my song
Until then I’ll try not to bore
‘Cause I’m workin’ at the furniture store.
WRITE SONG
How many more do I write?
Before I’m confident in my right
To truly make my own way, and live my own words
Words that are heavily inspired by the one
s who came before
It is my turn soon, before there is no more
I’m both lazy and ambitious constantly at the same time
Getting paid will depend on the ability to rhyme
Being original is truly absurd
I’ll just take cues from the greats, to not feel like a curse
It’s refreshing to not always have to pave your own trail
It’s much easier for the train to stay on the rail
YEAH! FOR SHIT DAYS
Lost my kids, lost my house
Family thinks I’m crazy, there ain’t no way out
Car just went tits up, that’s after the bike got messed up
$39 to my name
Me and others struggling to get by are one in the same
Drink some Rolling Rock to pass the time
Eventually something’s gotta give, I don’t deserve this, I just want happiness to be mine
But these kinda shit days put it in perspective
In some countries you wouldn’t have $39 even if you’re a detective
Today sucks, but that only means hopefully it’ll get better
Going to use 30 of those dollars for a fun ORSU dinner
Because fun time are important
Living for today on this planet
So, yeah for shit days
Makes you appreciate the good days
It can’t always be the fly ways
Sometimes gotta be beat up and kicked around to prove you’re here to stay
On those shit days, get up and prey, or whatever you do to get through
There is tomorrow, it is true
LONG ROAD
She seems reclined to point and stare
Misguided tyranny she seemed to care
The dawn had been turbulent but good
The following days weren’t what they could
Our creations have stood strong
Though the process is difficult and long
Now it’s the time to try and make it well
Running out of things to sell
But opportunities present themselves in strange new ways
As long as follow the path that has been laid
It’s a long road
Always done what I was told
But now it’s time, to get it right,
And listen to those other lessons that have been sold
The unyielding passion of the two involved
Doesn’t really get anything solved
Remember the good, and learn from the bad
And life will continue on, just as it should
It’s a long road
Always done what I was told
But now it’s time, to get it right,
And listen to those other lessons that have been sold
LOVELY
She was once lovely
A sight to see
Encountered the joker in all his glory
But saw through the opening story
The dimming inner glow that was still there, fortunately
Noticing the glow and prodding it along
Until he found some of his song
Many years have passed since then
The Joker’s now fine in his own skin
Her love is still of that old Joker
The one who claimed her as a lover
Needy and helpless below her
The joker no longer needs her
But sometimes mistakes her
For the one who was once a partner
But that was long ago
Nowhere left to go
Joker’s games don’t amuse
Her ideas only gloom
And Joker’s dawn will be coming soon
A chance for rebirth in the bright new moon
Their creations get to languish until understood
Concern for them
Happiness for them
Will soon be given
The Joker has his ways to turn things around
And then glory will be unbound
BEAST
Dormant Beast
Too much sleep
Need the release
Unknown speak
Grab a hold now
Time for the ride
Up into the sky
Look the devil in the eye
See what he tries
See what she likes
Learn its vice
Control the beast
Maintain the feast
Then get some sleep
Read between the lines
Close to desperation time
Don’t fall for the Devil’s lies
Align with the beast
It’s aware of the feast
Make the devil quickly flee
See what he tries
See what she likes
Learn its vice
AT THE HOUSE
Listen to a Pany talk
Then take a girl for a walk
Race back for the Circus in the pit
A game on the court, competitive spirit
Beer flowing, girls are showing
Relaxed vibe; concern unknowing
Time to play, after a long work day
We’re cool with it this way
E.C. chimes in to have his say
“Don’t get in trouble today”
“Behave yourselves today”
Brothers’ laugh, spring is here at last
The girl with Shoes; doesn’t fit
Carrot man with the bigger girl, doesn’t mind a bit
509 Flows from Fouts
As the Reds with their Bowl Key discuss what 9/11 was about
The Leather Pants Man dances with delight
As the Ranger has the 1st one in sight
The Darkness descends ready to fight
Only to find the Fire Wrestler has quite the might
But Crazy Number Three has something to prove
He just lost his upper tooth
Fraggle Rock rages in the den
Fritz objects to the goofy sensation
The Shins are toned for this show
Ready to see what the Hawaiians know
Doctor D makes a joke,
About what it takes to make the woman soak
Curious George feels out the crowd
As his Deftones Fan from old, starts to get loud
The three Wests compete with each other
Survival of the fittest brother
The New Recruits are eager to please
“Just be Yourself. Put your mind at ease.”
Jungle Love plays in the Cottage
None of it was a mirage
RESTLESS BEAST
The Beast grows restless
How long to resolve this mess
Feed ‘em soon before he goes over the edge
Jumping over the barrier hedge
Combustion is peaking without the feeding
Needing the cool good feeling
Buildup of tension waiting for release
The beast takes care of it with seamless ease
Breath in the cool ocean breeze
Calming vibes puts mind back in ease
Rest Beast
Almost there
Not too long to show you’re aware
And if The Others care
Stalking and stirring
Waiting for its turn
To let lose, the freeing urge
Flow freely with care
Even if the others are aware
Let them snicker if they must
This was not a bust
Rest Beast
Almost there
Not too long to show you’re aware
And if The Others care
IDLE
Sitting Idle
Fidgeting Docile
Restless past
Sailor’s mast
Satan’s Cape
Terrible waste
Longing for wide future
Open mind still unsure
Broken deal, mended conditions
Winged in light; the apparition
Flowing in,
Mating in,
Raising in
Following close
Too Close
Case Closed
Rebirth in Old Region?
Faith low, it seems
Nothing goes as dreamed
The new round stalls the drowned
Lifeline broken; hand over the crown
Immense light from the excited crowd
It’s time, the Shadow Voice’s say,
Take a bow
MATERIAL
What to do with all this material?
I’ll be stopping soon, can’t be an imbecile
Whatever the point is, will find out soon enough
When time is relative, there’s no need to always be tough
Nose doesn’t have to always be to the grindstone
It’s important to get out and see the light from time to time, without taking on another loan
Don’t misunderstand, I have a plan,
And I’m confident I can
But it doesn’t mean I think it will be simple
Factors that could slow or prevent, there are ample
Even so, the ones who made it breathe just like I do
Wither you think I can make it or not, is not really up to you
MISUSED
Still learning to mast the experience from so long ago
Are the fables true?
Is it so rude?
To feel a little blue
Pacify it before it starts the game
Others wouldn’t want the same
But they need someone to blame
Get to the conclusion
As fast as fast
It’s not like it was going to last
But given the opportunity,
There was just a shiver
A dimming glow in the fall of winter
Help me make you understand
This is what I am
It’s okay to be confused
But there’s no reason to be misused
Fortunately for you I guess, you pass the test
Maybe in your past life you were less of a pest
Although maybe it’s the opposite of what you think
Maybe I proved before that I’m capable of righting the ship, before the sink
Help me make you understand
This is what I am
It’s okay to be confused
But there’s no reason to be misused
Personification of the new golden heir
Living in a place without care
Mournful loss needs to be scorned,
As wicked days that start to tear
It’s an illusion or can it be taught
Spontaneous ideas in the realm of good that can’t be bought
Help me make you understand
This is what I am
It’s okay to be confused
But there’s no reason to be misused
ESCAPE
It’s been a long few months
Soon will it be over
No knowing
The gloom can cover
Examine the previous
Which ones were in jest?
Living with the fading gust
Memories then cloud with dust
Spiritual quest
That spooked them all
Rush to judgment
Feel bitter toward them all
Soon no more
Escape from this place
Already lost so much
The child’s face
No saving grace
Longing, it causes to hesitate
Follow inner order
They’ve been avoided
The new path borders
It’s a long way there
Best to take time
It’s been foretold what is mine
EXPRESS YOURSELF
Expressing words on paper
Gets the process rolling
It’s time to decide where to hide
Life just doesn’t stop going
Until that last breath gets me
I am going to keep searching for that deeper meaning
The philosophy behind the being
There is a cost to want to be free
Sell the soul to the highest bidder
Use the cash to run and dash
Oh well, if I’m a sinner
Hey, I’m a realist, I understand Man’s needs
But, violence it seems doesn’t need to be a part of any reality scenes
Even with fit mind and body,
Can’t always expect the unexpected
Not believing in the human soul is one’s own folly
But we can’t get too ahead of ourselves,
Our love of all devices,
Has led to many death accomplices,
Yet we maintain course, like confident little elves
FATHER
Go ahead Father, sucker punch me in the head
Threaten me with violence because I’ve broken the silence
Asserting myself to you and to other I’ve always known
Except the only response has been:
You are wrong
You do not understand
You could not be a part of any plan
You should get a job, I know you’ll hate, but there is no other way you’ll make it
As I’ve shown you all your life, you are weird and different
And we’ll only respect you if you do what we want
Is it wrong to be an individual?
If one makes a mistake, should they be ridiculed and made to feel like shit?
Well, at least I’ll have the fuel for a future hit
It doesn’t matter the exact words you see
I can feel your emotions more than you can possibly
My father had real rage in his heart when he came at me
Fearful rage; this is how is asserts his part
Making others feel stupid and criticizing anything that makes that person happy
I can’t stand this part of my family
I don’t care if I sound sappy
FATHER-SON FIGHT DAY
Raising a boy to be like the old man
Be careful what you wish for with that kind of plan
In this existence
It’s been my experience,
The bond is strained at best
Once things build up for far too long,
Criticism of every wrong
Get limbered up and stretched out
You may want to stay
Today is Father-Son Fight Day
The rules are extremely simple; no punches to the head and that’s it.
The other unwritten rule that all men of course follow, still exists.
Get rowdy with the old man to try and settle your differences
Sometimes it’s just fun to fight too; it gets your point across
Fight with hands, no weapons needed,
This is how men battle when all logic is lost, indeed
Kick the old man’s ass to put him in his place
Maybe he’ll quite is negative face,
After words crack open a beer, and put on a good face
Enjoy the day that should be an annual holiday
It’s Father – Son Fight Day
EXPLORE THE WORLD
It happened so fast, without a warning
The golden morning
Catch a glimpse before they start snoring
Will it ever happen?
Hard to say,
Just enjoy the day
It’s an unbearable agenda to keep this up
Having to walk the way others step
The shoes are different on those feet
But conformity, it always impedes
Break away from the mold from time to time
It’s okay, it doesn’t mean you’re soaked in Lyme
The
fortunate ones have great resources
I have to make do with past choices
Constantly reminded of mistakes I’ve made
I’m my own worst critic; I don’t really need you to say
Get out and Explore the World
Get away from the Bubble you’re been living for
It’s a big wide world, Can’t you see
I ain’t crazy, let me be
FREEDOM
Holy Shit
Will I ever write a hit?
Makes me want to spit
Can’t find anything to fit
This crazy life
Barely getting by
Maybe just get high
Let the world pass me by
Don’t be a douche
Put on your shoes
Get dressed and learn the clues
Sometimes you have to pay your dues
That fortunate one
Son of a son of a son of rich man’s son
Parties with cares for no one
Talent they have none
Don’t worry about them
Despite their arrogant venom
They’ll pay the price for steeling freedom
Making others feel dumb
Proclaim you FUCK YOU to the righteous elite
I ain’t washing their feet
I don’t follow all of Jesus’ speak
Working away in this awful heat
HELL YEAH, ROCK ‘N ROLL
Listening to songs I’ve heard before
Millions of times
Still trying to find that perfect rhyme
Each one has its own story, both theirs and mine
This one here was played at my wedding
Although I was too tired “After Midnight” for any meddling
Using the gold standard of Rock ‘n Roll
To get the confidence to just let it roll
Hell yeah Rock ‘n Roll
No more auto tune, just soul
Let’s feel the beat the good old way,
Some rap is still good, the roots w/ Questlove know how to play
No more overhyped crap that doesn’t have that soul
I wanna get down with rock ‘n Roll
Hell yeah Rock ‘n Roll
No more auto tune, just soul
HOPE
Processing the past has kept me awake
Sometimes too much to take
Was it all a waste?
Not much makes since in this brave new world
As the fog diminishes, and light strives to turn
Nowhere left to go but up
Hopefully done with the last cup
Enjoyable even the messing up
Is this really better than nothing
There has to be something
Hold out hope
For the helping hand
Despite the setbacks, I still think I can
The future is not written
Or is it
It seems some already know where their heading
Making do with what was given
Not resorting to stealing
NO more debt just to get a feeling
Work to make it even if over qualified
Demoted job with no need to try
Hold out hope
For the helping hand
Despite the setback, I know I can
DOWN TOWN
Fast, as quick as you can
Throw it away
Flush it down
Enjoy the calming trip down town
No worries about tomorrow
Fearless of the pain left
And the time spent
Throw it all away
Until you learn another way
Is there one?
What happens in the end?
Does the hand extend?
Keep up the hard work that accomplishes nothing
Are you really fighting for something?
What happens when you stop fighting?
Does the world stop spinning?
What about the others?
Do they stop taking?
Throw it away
Flush it Down
Enjoy the calming trip down town
Watch them enjoy the fruits of your labor
As you pray for forgiveness from your maker
For bad deeds you’ve probably done few
The others however is more than a few
But don’t worry, they may throw you a bone when their plate is threw
Throw it away
Flush it Down
Enjoy the calming trip down town
DRIFT
Drifting along
Singing my songs
Longing for the road
And stories untold
Have another drink to make it right
In the end, is there even a light?
What’s the difference?
Here now
Live now
Don’t need to know how
Grab the lightening that’s bottled up
Partake in what is deserved from the golden cup
No more messing up
Until the sky shows its face
While the dawn occupies space
No saving grace
Amazing adventure may not be
This life’s been used, fleetingly
Wasted away in the dark moon light
Moving oppressively
Avenging the lost souls,
Who missed their piece of bread
Detriment instead
DYLAN
Listening to Dylan
As I remember what was given
Wasted it away but it’s not too late
Grab what you’ve got to say
Open up and prey
Today is a bright new day
No worries about yesterday
The music will set you free
It’s so plain to see
It’s not just the melody
Open up your heart and let your words flow free
Honor the gift, don’t be schmuck
It’s not all about luck
It ain’t about money either
About being able to see
The light will set you free
Let the words go, others will pay their own fee
It will help along the way
Not always time to play
Brave new world is reaching a climax
Grab ahold of someone, fast
The music will set you free
It’s so plain to see
It’s not just the melody
Open up your heart and let your words flow free
IMPOSSIBILITY
Can’t always blame for things out of your control
Let the dice roll where they’ll roll
But you sometimes have to know
Which way to go
Not always going with the flow
But that’s me
It’s how I feel free
Impossibility
There is no such fee
Go until you can’t anymore
Then do four more
Life isn’t fair
But it’s a better hand than others have been forced to bear
Some have more than enough to spare
What I have seems to be rare
Time to use before falling through the bottom layer
That’s me
It’s how I feel free
Impossibility
There is no such fee
LONG SLOW BREATH
Take in a long slow breath to fully take it in
This is your life
You’re slipping
Into something that can’t be foretold
By what was known in the previous encounter
An illusion of wonder
That suddenly takes you under
Follow the signs that were laid out
Don’t think too much
It causes a debilitating crutch
T
oo many things unable to snuff
Alleviate the tension as best one can
There is no master plan
Take in a long slow breath
Calm yourself into the good feeling
There’s reason to keep on believing
Work hard in order to play
Opportunity doesn’t knock every day
Forget the wisdom of yesterday
Advance forward every passing day
Allow the others to think what they want
Nature is Heaven’s Park
Ease the mind in the calming dark
Blood should only get you so far
Take in a long slow breath
Let the old dreams rise again
Concern no longer about lost sins
MEMO
Didn’t read the memo in the beginning that explained the rules
Wait, did I get one?
Doesn’t look like I’m the only one
This is the way it is, or so I’ve been told
You have been sold, down river
To the highest bidder
Because someone who died said you’re a sinner
What about those over there?
Don’t point and stare
They’re unaware
Of what it means to be bare
They’ve been presented a golden ship
Destructive, but they like the fit
It helps them feel on top of it
Is there room for more?
No, we’re the only one’s it made for
How do you know that cheer?
Because we started here
MINIMUM
Working for the minimum
Is hard to earn a livin’
Especially when you have debt from believing
In the lie they keep on selling
About how to get the life you dreamed of if willing,
Go to class every day,
Afterwards, get a big payday
Sure I have some friends from then that do more than alright
Others like me, are barely getting by
If I make the same as a high school degree
Why take on the debt of a college degree?
So, I actually make less when you factor in the debt
College is just another bet
Some win, and win big
Many others’ dreams pass them by like a fart in the wind
Knowledge is power, but it’s not enough
Money is what gives you the stuff
But there is strength in numbers
Is it me to lead them? Maybe some words will inspire action
To steer the course from un-satisfaction
RISE UP
Lost and found
A hopeless journey that’s been bound
Searching for something
Anything
To give this one meaning
She smiled at this challenge
Eager to pounce when it couldn’t mend
Falling further down the line
Absorbing what is in this time
Can You Rise UP
Don’t Rely on Luck
Or Family’s trust
It was all a bust
They laugh at their saving grace
What it means to take up too much space
Eager to renew until it’s over
When he gives his final slumber
What will it mean then?
Not really anything
Despite this
Dark twist
Forging forward at fast clip
Tie up the ends that are loose
This journey never smoothes
Can You Rise UP
Don’t Rely on Luck
Or Family’s trust
It was all a bust
RISE UP