Defect

by Danielle James

  “You’re sick but unfortunately, you’re not terminal. Now leave. I told you he’s not going anywhere. I don’t know what kind of sick relationship you want with your son but you can cut that shit out now.” She slammed the door in Mom’s face and I covered my mouth with my fist trying to hide the fact that I was laughing at the entire scene. I knew right then wasn’t the time for laughing but I couldn’t help it. I’d never seen her so furious.

  “Ezra, are you laughing?” She frowned.

  “Yeah. My bad. I just…” I shook my head and laughed even more. I laughed until my sides hurt and eventually, Solana laughed with me. It was good to see her with a smile on that gorgeous face.

  “I think she’s still out there,” I said once the wave of hysterical laughter passed.

  “She can sleep on the porch for all I give a fuck. As long as she doesn’t bring her ass in this house.” Solana walked past me and I grabbed her waist walking in step with her.

  “Your energy is crazy right now. Come upstairs with me and let’s meditate.”

  “I want to sleep,” she pouted.

  “Nah. We’re going to set you straight. How’s your stomach?” I stretched my fingers across her toned stomach and she sighed.

  “Better but I don’t feel like eating anything else tonight.”

  “You sure? I can cook you a little something.”

  “No. I want lemon water though.” We walked upstairs and she poked her head in the guestroom to check on Malachi. He was knocked out and snoring. When she walked into the bedroom, she paused and looked over at me.

  “The bed looks so good. Thank you.”

  “No problem. I know how to put shit together. I’m not totally useless.”

  “Ezra, I never thought you were useless in the first place.” She shook her head at me and I could hear her voice in my head telling me to cut out the low vibrational talk about myself.

  I took her by the hand and walked her over to the meditation corner then we sat down. I loaded her palms up with crystals and closed her delicate fingers around them. We sat facing each other in the lotus position and we both closed our eyes.

  I must have needed that meditation too because my mind took off like a rocket painting all sorts of pictures on blank pages. I turned page after page in my mind and every time, my supposed-to-be-quiet mind went wild. It seemed to take forever for it to settle down.

  “Hey,” Solana said softly, rubbing my chest. My eyes popped open and the subtle buzz of a good meditation session set in. “I really needed that,” she told me with a smile.

  “I know.” I leaned over and kissed her full lips then stood up slowly. I went to run water for her bath. I added a sprinkle of the dried flowers she kept by the tub and a few drops of her favorite lavender essential oil to the water. That’s how the hell she managed to smell like roses and sugar all the time.

  “Come here.” I called for her once the tub was full and steam rose off the water. I listened to her feet pad into the bathroom and smiled when she finally walked inside.

  “Ezra, oh my god. Thank you.”

  “You mind if I get in with you?” I asked.

  “You better get in here with me.” She started to strip out of her clothes but I stopped her, grabbing her wrists in my hand.

  “Let me do that for you.” I pulled her clothes off piece by piece, slowly so I could admire her body inch by inch. “You are so damn beautiful, Solana.” She stood before me naked and I couldn’t ever imagine seeing a more perfect sight. I traced her tight curves with my fingertips and watched her stomach muscles flex when she laughed at my light touch. I knelt down and kissed her navel and she laughed again.

  “Your beard is tickling me.”

  “Is it? Where does it tickle?” I asked, knowingly.

  “You know where the fuck it tickles. Ezra.”

  “I want to hear you say it.” I dragged my tongue along her stomach and down to her landing strip.

  “It’s tickling my pussy,” she purred.

  “Oh yeah?” I dipped my head a little lower and kissed her plump pussy lips before sliding my tongue between them. She gasped and placed her palm on the top of my head. It wasn’t my intention to eat her pussy right there in the middle of the bathroom but she tasted so good that I couldn’t stop myself once I got started.

  I sat her on the edge of the tub and she draped her leg over my shoulder while I licked and sucked her clit until she almost slid onto the damn floor. Then I snaked my way inside her slippery hole. I wanted every drop she could give me. I was Winnie the Pooh and she was my beloved honey pot.

  When I finally let up on her, she slid right into the tub and groaned, resting her head on the wall. “You damn sure know how to help a girl relax.” With her eyes closed and her hair swept up on top of her head, she looked like an angel.

  I took my clothes off next and slid into the tub with her. I had to put my feet up on the wall, but we made it work. She nestled against me pressing her back to my chest and I circled her with my arms while I kissed the back of her neck.

  I washed Solana from head to toe until she was groaning from pleasure. I washed between her legs and took my time cleaning every part of her. I made it my duty to be gentle as I worked my way around her clit. I paused when she started to squirm.

  “Am I being too rough?” I asked, looking up at her.

  “No, baby. Please keep going,” she begged. I slid my finger between her lips and she gasped softly. Her body jerked forward and her eyebrows furrowed together.

  “Did you come?” I asked. I grabbed the washcloth and wiped the insides of her thighs.

  “I did. I never knew I could come from being washed but then again nobody’s ever washed me like that.”

  “So, I’m the first is what you’re saying?”

  “Yes, Ezra. You’re the first.” She smiled. I took pride in knowing I was also the first one to make her smile the way she did because whenever she smiled at me, shit lit up like a million fireflies. I knew for a fact she only did that for me.

  Once we got out of the tub and were lying in bed beside each other, I showed Solana what I had been working on. She slid closer and looked at my phone. “You’re starting an Etsy shop?” She asked, excitedly.

  “Yup. To sell my teas. I don’t know how long it’ll take Sun Goddess to get back up and running but in the meantime, I wanted a place to still sell them and make money.”

  “That’s brilliant, Ezra. God, you have come such a long way. I hope you realize that.”

  “I’m trying. I still can’t shake the whole defect thing. I still feel damaged, you know?” I shrugged my shoulders and looked at her. “I can still hear my mother telling me how fucked up my brain was when I woke up from the coma and I still feel like that’s who I am.” I knew I wasn’t a fucked up defect. I knew I didn’t have brain damage so severe that I would need assistance for the rest of my life but it didn’t stop my mother’s words from echoing in my head.

  “Ezra, you need time to let everything unfurl. This is all still so fresh. Don’t try to be perfect and whole right away. Allow yourself time to be broken and unsure.” She held my hand in hers and looked at me like she could see my soul. “When I was around Vince today, I felt like the same scared girl I was when we were together. I felt weak and stupid. I felt like I wasn’t enough to save Malachi. I felt like he needed someone stronger than me because I was a doormat. I felt like I needed someone stronger than me.” She rolled her lips between her teeth and continued. “I don’t know if I’ll ever heal all the way from the hell he put me through but I know every day I keep trying and the further away I get from him, the better I become. So what I’m saying is, you need time. You have to get far away from your mother and her abuse before you can adequately assess yourself, Ezra.”

  “You’re right. I guess I keep wondering why I still believe the lies even though I know the truth.”

  “You know what? I think you should call Doctor Chin and set up those recovery therapy appointments. Talking to someone c
ould help you a lot.”

  “You think so?” I quizzed. “I’ve never been to a therapist.”

  “There’s a first time for everything. Hey, if you go…I’ll go too because clearly, I still have a lot of shit to work through.”

  “It’s a deal then,” I said nodding my head. “So, you wanna tell me where Vince lives now?” I asked.

  “Not a fucking chance, Ezra. I don’t want you on the news for killing him and don’t think I don’t know that’s fully what you’d do if given the chance.”

  “I’d kill that motherfucker with my bare hands and no regrets.”

  “I don’t know if that should have turned me on or not but here we are,” she said with a sigh.

  “Are you turned on? Let me see.” I slipped my hand between her thighs and rubbed her pussy with my long fingers. “You are turned on. So you like when I threaten people, huh?”

  “Maybe a little.” She climbed on top of me and my dick woke up like someone called it by name. The heat from her cunt radiated against me and I was in heaven.

  “You got up there so now I need to watch you perform. Ride that dick.”

  “Mine,” she said possessively.

  “It’s all yours, Solo.”

  “I know and I’m so fucking lucky.”

  “Even though I’m only eighteen?” I smirked, grabbing her hips.

  “Yes, Ezra. You damn sure don’t fuck like an eighteen-year-old, I’ll tell you that much.” She rolled her hips and I almost came. She controlled my body like a high priestess.

  She balanced on her toes, pulled my basketball shorts down, and gripped my dick when it bounced out. “Did I ever tell you that I love your dick, Ezra? It’s so pretty. So long and thick and it stretches me just right.”

  “You keep talking like that and I’m going to put a fucking baby in you, Solana.” I couldn’t take the words back after they were in the air.

  I said that shit.

  I told her I would put a baby in her and I wasn’t even lying.

  She didn’t flinch though. Not my sunflower. She smiled and eased her hot little pussy down on top of me until I was deep inside of her.

  “Put a baby in me, Ezra,” she said, biting her bottom lip. We were insane. Both of us. We were reckless and impulsive and it felt good as shit. I didn’t have to pretend with her and she damn sure didn’t have to pretend with me.

  “You sure you want that?” I asked while she bounced on my dick.

  “I want it,” she moaned, pinching and rubbing her chocolate nipples. The show she put on was amazing. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her. I reached up and grabbed a fistful of her beautiful hair and pulled.

  “Tell me how bad you want it, baby.”

  “I can’t stop thinking about it. I always want your cum inside of me. It feels so good.”

  “Fuck…you’re going to make me nut.” I shut my eyes and lifted her off my dick. I couldn’t handle the intense feeling. I would be pissed if I came too soon. Every time I fucked Solana it was an experience and I didn’t want it to end yet. I pulled her up to my face and sat her wet pussy on my tongue.

  She braced herself on the wall and fucked my face like a good girl. She was so goddamn wet her juices trickled down my chin and throat and I still wasn’t quenched. Her thighs shook against my cheeks so I took time to bite each one until she squealed from the pain then I soothed the bite with my tongue and went back in for more of her sweet pussy.

  At one point she stood straight up in bed because she couldn’t handle orgasm after orgasm. I looked at her with a wet face and frowned then I grabbed her ankle and she fell flat on her back. I dragged her little ass to my mouth and finished my dessert. I wanted to devour every petal she had until her stems quivered at my memory.

  When I was done, I sank my dick deep into her, pinning her legs wide open so she couldn’t move. I wanted to fuck her slow so that she could feel how much I loved her. So she could feel how much I needed her and wanted her. Only her.

  I put my weight behind each stroke until we were chest to chest. Lips to lips. Soul to soul. “Your heart will always belong to me, Solana. I want you to know that. Nobody is ever going to love you the way I love you.” She opened her beautiful eyes and touched the sides of my face.

  “I know,” she said sincerely.

  It was like my words made her come. My intentions pushed her over the edge and she fell headfirst into a deep climax that rocked both of us. Her walls squeezed my cock so tight that I had no choice but to unload inside of her. I shut my eyes and saw constellations spread across the backs of my eyelids. Solana was my universe and she made me see it every time I was inside of her.

  “Oh. God. Ezra.” She rolled over and laid her head on my chest. “Fuck. You have sage dick,” she laughed.

  “Sage dick? Seriously?” I played in her hair, wrapping tendrils of it around my fingers and letting them go. They were coily springs of ebony. I couldn’t tell if I liked her hair better straight or curly.

  “Yes. You cleanse my entire soul when you’re inside of me.”

  “Good. Now take your cleansed ass to bed. We have a lot of work to do tomorrow and we have to take Malachi to school.”

  “We do.”

  “He’s a great kid, by the way. I can see why you love him so much.” She let out a content sigh and snuggled closer to me before drifting off to sleep. I took a little longer to drift off because I couldn’t stop thinking about finding Vince and putting my foot in his ass. She couldn’t keep me off of him forever. One day I’d run into him and I was going to make it worth my fucking while.

  …

  SOLANA

  Malachi had been with us for three days.

  In those three days, I didn’t hear from Vince once. He didn’t want his son and he made it clear. Well, that was fine with me because I wanted Malachi and nothing was going to stop me from getting him.

  After I dropped him off at school on Friday, I walked into Amaris’ office and sat down to watch her do the morning announcements. Ezra went to the studio to wait for the new massage table to be delivered and to work on his tea blends. He wanted to redo the entire tea station and make it bigger and better so I let him run with his vision. He was totally in charge of that area.

  He wanted to be at school with me to drop Malachi off because that had been our routine and they adored each other but work called. Ezra promised he’d be with me when I came to pick Malachi up though.

  “What’s up? Have you heard from Vince?” Amaris asked once the morning announcements were over.

  “Fuck no. He said he’d come pick Malachi up this weekend but it’s Friday and I haven’t heard a word from him.” I rolled my amethyst pendant against my chest and sighed. “I’m not going to go through with the foster parent process, Amaris. There’s no guarantee I’d get Malachi and I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from fostering every child that needed me.”

  “Okay, then what are you going to do?” She asked, concerned.

  “I’m petitioning the court for custody directly. I tried to get Vince on board with it but he wanted no parts of it once he found out we’d have to go to court and he’d have to have his parental rights terminated based on his neglect and abuse.”

  “He doesn’t want his dirty laundry aired,” she said pursing her lips together.

  “Exactly. There’s no other way to do it. There are no clean outcomes for him. I’m going to have to go to take him to court.”

  Amaris leaned back in her seat and mulled over my words for a few minutes. “Solana, you know if you get custody of Malachi you’ll legally be his mother?”

  “Of course. That’s the point. Nobody can locate his birth mother and none of his extended family will step up. I’ve reached out to everyone I could find and they all act like Malachi is a burden. It breaks my heart every time.”

  “Me too but having a child is no easy feat and I know you’re prepared and have been for quite some time but what about Ezra? Is he ready to be in Malachi’s life?” She let her question
sit with me for a while before she said anything else. “I’ve seen you two coming up here to drop him off and pick him up and Malachi seems attached. I don’t want this to overwhelm Ezra and then have him disappear and leave you heartbroken.”

  “That’s not going to happen,” I blurted with a frown. “We can cross that bridge when we get to it.”

  “You’re approaching that bridge pretty fast, Solana. You can’t keep avoiding this.”

  “I’m not avoiding it.” I folded my arms and looked out of the window behind her desk.

  “You are. Now you’re going to be pissed at me for pointing out the major fucking elephant in the room and that’s the fact that you’re in love with an eighteen-year-old and you want to be a mother. I think Ezra is wonderful, sis. I think he’s mature and he suits you and he’s a really cool guy. He’s still eighteen and you can’t get away from the fact that he’s going to eventually want to do shit that eighteen-year-olds do. Typically, having a family and settling down are not on that list. Think about yourself at that age. You weren’t trying to be anyone’s stepmother. You barely had your shit together. I remember you vividly at that age.”

  “Okay, Amaris. I didn’t stop by to talk about me and Ezra. I stopped by to tell you I wasn’t going forward with the foster parent application and that I was going to petition the court. That’s why I’m here. I need to know that I can point the court in the direction of the records from the school.”

  “Yes, of course you can. I’m sorry if I seem to be harping on this thing with you and Ezra. I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

  “I won’t get hurt. Whatever happens, is for us to work out on our own,” I said slicing my hand through the air. I was done talking about that shit. The entire conversation had me heated. “I’ll talk to you later, Amaris.” I stood up and she looked like she had more she wanted to say but she kept her mouth shut.

  When I got to the car, I sat there for a minute replaying what my sister said over and over until it hurt my head. I hated when shit like that happened. Amaris was always right. So whenever she said something, even if I told her she was wrong, I always wondered if she was right and I was being stubborn.