by Lynn Howard
“I’ll give you some privacy to unpack. Unless you need my help.”
She was looking around the room again and turned her eyes to him. “Thank you. I’ll be fine.”
“Just let me know if you need anything. I’ll be right in there,” he said, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder.
He pulled the door closed behind him and adjusted his dick the second he was out of her sight. He had to get his body under control. He wanted her to set the pace, let him know when she was ready to start trying for cubs.
There was a bigger issue, though. His mate still didn’t carry his mark. And he had a feeling it would be a while before she’d be ready to leave hers on him.
****
As soon as the door closed, Shawnee set the bag on the bed and sat beside it. She folded her hands in her lap and studied the room. It really was a nice house. Definitely a man’s house, but nice nonetheless. The décor was tasteful, but a little darker than she would’ve chosen. She’d always craved a chance to decorate a house of her own. She preferred lighter colors, warm, cozy fabrics, a little contemporary with a touch of classic.
But this wasn’t her house. Her home, yes, but not her house.
She knew what was expected of her now. She had to look the part, play the part, be pretty and available for her new mate. Her parents about had a coronary when she’d told them she was mating with a bear, but they were satisfied she was fulfilling her duty as a female, regardless the species of Shifter.
Her duty. She was to be the perfect mate, bring more cubs into the world, then groom them to repeat the cycle.
Kicking off her shoes, she almost cursed the damn things. They were cute and made her round ass look fantastic, but they killed her feet.
She’d never admit it, but Shawnee rather liked being at Hope Pride. She’d liked being useful. She’d liked helping build the houses, getting dirty, wearing regular clothes.
And now she was back in her designer clothes. Well, thrift store found designer clothes. She doubted Colton or any of his friends knew the difference, though. All they would see was a well-dressed woman with big boobs and a big butt. She actually liked the way she looked. She liked that her stomach wasn’t concave and her thighs touched. She might hate herself, but she loved her body.
Okay. This was stupid. She had to stop feeling sorry for herself. If she had to be tied to a man, she could do a lot worse than Colton Barnes. He was a good guy, a loyal friend, and not exactly hard on the eyes.
She’d done her best to keep from staring, but wow! That man towered over her, even in her three-inch heels. At five-foot-five and full-figured, it was rare that she felt tiny. But she did next to Colton. And that smile. Whew! It took everything in her to remain calm when he’d unloaded that grin on her. His brown eyes were so pretty and warm, and he had the longest lashes. Shame she couldn’t have those kinds of lashes without a little glue and makeup.
Had he looked disappointed at her reaction? She was trying to act like a lady. That’s what she was supposed to do. She was supposed to always act and look like a lady and put her man’s needs first.
Shame, because she was actually a little hungry. Instead of just asking him to take her out, she’d have to figure out where everything was and make his dinner before she could sit down to eat.
Rhett had never appreciated her efforts at perfection. But she wasn’t stupid enough to let anything slide. He never noticed the things she did well, but had no problem pointing out any of her flaws or mistakes.
She hated him.
He’d been her parents’ idea. An Alpha of a fairly large and powerful Pride. She’d been his third mate. And luckily for her – not that she’d admit this to anyone else –they’d never gotten around to consummating their pairing before he’d been killed in the war against Colton’s friends. The only time he touched her was to punish her. He’d had his favorite mates and they’d volunteered to be claimed. They’d wanted to be mated to an Alpha and they didn’t care who it was.
She had no idea where those women were. They could’ve stayed in Tammen or they could’ve left when Eli and Emory chose to build Hope Pride. And, really, she didn’t care where they went. They were horrible to every other woman in the Pride. Even the little girls.
Shawnee had been scared to leave Tammen. She’d been afraid of what her parents would think if she remained unmated. But she’d done it and followed Emory and Eli into their new Pride. Her parents had given her a year to find a new mate or they’d sell her off. There was this little voice in the back of her head that reminded her the laws had been changed. All she’d have to do was tell her new Alpha, Eli, what her parents had threatened. He could’ve protected her, kept her safe.
She didn’t say or do anything of the sort. Instead, when she’d gotten wind that Colton was seeking a mate, she’d volunteered, and he’d accepted.
And here she was, sitting on the bed she’d be sharing with a man she hardly knew. This was her new life.
Shawnee shoved off the bed and ripped the bag open, pulling her meager amount of clothing and undergarments out, refolded them, then put them in the empty drawers. She didn’t really need any closet space, but she hung up two sweaters that were a little bulky for the dresser. Now, she had to go put her toiletries and makeup away. She didn’t want to leave the room. She didn’t want to see Colton. She wanted to just curl up on the bed and pretend she had her own life.
With a deep breath, she gathered her toothbrush, hairbrush, and shower stuff along with her makeup bag into her arms and yanked the door open. No Colton. For some reason, she’d thought he’d be standing sentry outside the door, making sure she wasn’t running or touching his stuff.
He’s not Rhett. She had to remind herself of that. Emory’s people had seemed like they were good people. And he was friends with all of them. He was a good guy. He wouldn’t mistreat her or demand anything from her. He’s not Rhett.
Throwing her shoulders back, she glanced back at the room and wondered if she should slip her shoes back on. A man should never see you in anything but your best, her mother whispered in the back of her head.
Well, her mother wasn’t there to see.
Turning her back on the bedroom and those torture devices, she carried her stuff into the bathroom and set it on the closed toilet seat. Her toothbrush went beside his in the holder. She opened the medicine cabinet, prepared to shuffle some of his stuff aside. His deodorant was the only thing in there, and it was on the left side. She put her deodorant, perfume, and toothpaste on one shelf, her makeup bag on the next. Her feminine products she hid in the very back of the cabinet below the sink.
Once her shower stuff was tucked away in the huge two-person shower – there were actually two shower heads in there – she checked her reflection and frowned. She was naturally pretty. Why the hell had her mom taught her how to apply this crap? Why was it women weren’t to be seen without it? Men never had to wear makeup or jewelry or stupid high heels.
The longer she was away from her home Pride, the more she resented the rules put in place for her and the other females. But the other females didn’t seem to care. Or maybe they were like her and had gotten really good at hiding their emotions.
“You hungry?” Colton asked from the open doorway, startling a squeak out of her.
She whirled around, her hand on her chest, then schooled her face into a mask of neutrality and nodded. “I’ll get dinner started.” She tried to step past him, but he stopped her, his warm hand landing on her bicep.
“I didn’t ask if you’d make me dinner. I asked if you were hungry. Dinner’s ready.”
She blinked up at him. Dinner’s ready. He’d cooked for her? Wait. That was her job. Wasn’t it?
“I…yes, I am. Thank you,” she said, a smile pulling the corners of her lips up before she had a chance to catch it.
His eyes dipped to her mouth and he seemed…relieved. By what? That she was hungry or that she’d almost smiled. Was he the kind of mate that liked smiles? Oh. Maybe she’d get l
ucky and he actually liked when his mate was happy.
Don’t get ahead of yourself.
Colton was a Blackwater Clan bear. His Clan had fought alongside Big River Pack and the Ravenwood Pride panthers when her Pride, her former freaking mate, had attacked Big River’s people. She’d been there. And she’d cowered in the trees while Rhett’s favorite mates ran right alongside him.
But Colton didn’t know she hadn’t fought against them. He could hate her. This could be some ploy for revenge against Tammen, even though she was no longer with them.
Colton stepped out of the way and waved his hand in front of him, inviting her to go first. She nodded a thanks and walked down the hall, suddenly overly aware of her bare feet. How inappropriate.
Shawnee peeked at Colton’s feet as he turned the corner and reached for the plates. Ha! He was barefoot, too. He couldn’t judge her pink painted toes for being naked. And how were even his feet attractive. They were big and manly, peeking out from beneath his dark jeans.
When Colton carried the plates back to the table, he caught her looking at his feet. “Oh. Sorry. Want me to put my shoes on while we eat?”
“Do as you wish,” she answered perfectly. As she was trained to answer.
Colton’s hand, holding her plate, hesitated in front of her. “You’re allowed to have an opinion, Shawnee. I’m your mate, not your boss. Or parent. I want us to be friends if nothing else.”
He released the plate and returned to the stove for the food. She was allowed to have an opinion. Friends. He wanted them to be friends. Had she ever had a true friend? And if he wanted them to be friends, did that mean no sex? Because it was hard to fulfill her duties as a mother if she didn’t have sex. That little act was pretty important when it came to procreation.
Shawnee settled into a chair and waited with her hands folded in her lap. It was weird being served by a man. She fidgeted, refolding her hands in her lap, crossing then uncrossing her legs, until Colton finally sat in the chair catty corner to her instead of at the head of the table.
Holy cannoli. He’d put her at the head of the table.
Colton watched her expectantly until she lifted some food on her fork and slipped it into her mouth. Okay. The man could cook. Maybe even better than Shawnee. She smiled in appreciation, and he almost sagged with relief in his chair.
She nodded. “It’s very good. Thank you.”
Colton seemed to swallow the space around them. Even with the house being bigger than the Pride house she shared with two other women, he took up a lot of room. Or maybe it was just his essence that seemed to gobble up the space and her attention.
You’re allowed to have an opinion. She was about to test that statement.
“Why did you want a mate?” she asked, then held her breath. She’d now find out whether he was as open as he pretended or was just trying to get her to let down her guard.
Colton chewed a few times, then took a sip of his drink. “Wasn’t expecting that question,” he said with a chuckle. His big shoulders lifted. “I don’t know. I’ve always wanted to be mated and have a bunch of cubs. I guess that’s strange since I’m a dude, but I’ve dreamed about that since I was a cub myself. Maybe it’s because my own dad was so freaking cool.” His eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled at some memory.
“You had a good dad?” she asked, and tried to ignore a twinge of jealousy. She pushed the food around her plate as she waited for his answer, making sure to give him her full attention.
“Oh yeah. He was the best. Mom’s still around. You’ll meet her eventually. But she moved back to Tennessee. I don’t get down there as often as I should.”
The thought of meeting his mom both scared her and made her feel accepted. No one had ever wanted to introduce her to their parents. Hell, she wasn’t sure her own parents were proud enough of her to introduce her to anyone for any other reason than pairing.
“What about you? When will I meet my in-laws?” he said with a wide grin before shoving a forkful of food into his mouth.
She almost choked on the sip she was taking. After clearing her throat, she shook her head. “You don’t want to meet them.” Shoot. No. She wasn’t supposed to assume anything or make him feel as if he wasn’t adequate. “I mean. You can if you want.” She gave him a closed-lipped smile and hoped she looked pleasant enough.
Colton set his fork down and leaned back in his chair. “You don’t want me to meet them?”
Was he frowning? Yes. He was frowning. Night one and she’d already displeased him.
“No. I mean, yes. I mean…you can meet them if you want.”
His eyes narrowed, and Shawnee felt herself brace for a curse, a yell, anything but what he did next.
“Shawnee?”
“Yes?” she said through a closing throat.
“Relax.”
Blinking rapidly, she frowned. “What?”
“Relax. You look like you’re ready to hide under the table. I don’t mind if you don’t want to tell your parents about me yet. I get it.”
“You do?” Her frown deepened. She wasn’t trained for this.
“Of course. Your parents were probably expecting you to bring home some macho lion. Probably another Alpha. My mom wasn’t exactly ecstatic that I might be giving her lion cubs instead of bear cubs, but she knows me well enough to know I’ll do what makes me happy. And that makes her happy. As long as she gets grandkids she can spoil.”
And there she was blinking at him again. “They know about you,” she said barely above a whisper.
“Not happy I’m a bear?”
“Not happy you’re not an Alpha,” she admitted with a scrunched up face. What was getting into her? She wasn’t supposed to say anything that could make him feel less of a man. This was his castle. She was just the adornment. The vessel to his offspring.
So then why did he look at her as if he actually…liked her?
He wasn’t scoffing at her, demanding she fetch his food, telling her to get ready for sex. He was just leaning against his chair, his legs splayed under the table, his hands folded in his lap as if waiting for her to keep speaking.
“What do you want me to say?” she said, turning her eyes to her food when she grew uncomfortable under his scrutiny.
“Whatever is in that pretty head,” he said, returning to his food.
Colton finished before Shawnee did, but he stayed at the table, asking mundane questions like what was her favorite color, her favorite food, things like that.
And she honestly didn’t know the answer to half of them. She knew her favorite color, sure. But she was so used to bending around whoever she was supposed to be pleasing – even agreeing to everything suggested when she was in the Hope Pride – that she no longer knew what was from her own heart and what was her being a proper female and mate.
“We’ll just have to experiment, then,” Colton offered when she admitted she didn’t know her favorite food. “But I don’t think I can live in a pink house.” He crinkled his nose up at her with a smile.
Was he teasing her? He was. He was playing with her. And he was interested in what made her tick.
As more questions rolled from his tongue, she began to feel ashamed. She didn’t know herself at all. She knew what she was supposed to say. She knew how she was supposed to act. And if she were being honest with herself, this whole thing was making her uneasy. She’d molded herself into a certain persona, and it felt as if she were having layers of herself peeled away one by one.
Chapter Two
Colton waited for Shawnee to finish up in the bathroom. He sat on the edge of the bed in his boxers and contemplated tugging on a pair of sweats or something. Anything to make her feel more at ease sleeping beside him.
For a second there at dinner, he’d felt like he’d begun to see the real Shawnee. But then she’d slapped that mask back on and retreated into herself. At first, she fired off answers about her favorite color and season. Then he’d gotten to her favorite foods, her favorite music, her fa
vorite movies and it was like he’d watched her just shrink. How did she not know what her favorite food was? She seemed so sure of herself when she’d sauntered up to him in her spiky shoes and expensive clothes. The person at his table didn’t seem to know what she wanted.
The bathroom door opened and the hall was flooded with light a second before she turned it off and hesitated in the hallway. He heard her big intake of breath and then she turned the corner and stepped into the bedroom. Wearing a skimpy pink nightgown.
Crossing his legs as much as he could to hide his instant boner, he smiled. “You look pretty,” he said. And then noticed she was still wearing makeup. Actually, it looked like she was wearing different makeup. Her eyes and lips were darker than they were at dinner. And her hair looked freshly curled. “Did you put more makeup on for bed?” he asked in confusion.
Her brows knitted together for about half a second before they smoothed and she lifted her head. “Of course. Did you think I’d just come in here looking plain?”
“Uh…yeah. It’s bedtime. You’re supposed to be plain when you sleep.” If she was anything like his sister, she’d wake up looking like a raccoon if she slept with that stuff on.
She shook her hair off her shoulder, turned, and stomped out of the bedroom in a huff. Really? She was mad because he wanted her to be comfortable? What had happened to the woman he’d had dinner with, or at least the woman before he’d asked all those questions? She’d been kind of cool and he’d thought they were on their way to becoming friends.
This woman…this was the woman Emory and Nova had tried to warn him about. This was the snooty woman Nova called Fancy Pants. He was beginning to understand why.
The water ran in the other room. Was she actually taking a shower? He didn’t mean for her to go through all that. He just wanted her to be herself instead of going for perfect twenty-four/seven.