by Lynn Howard
Of course, waking up with his arm around her was, at first, absolute ecstasy. Until he felt the fear rolling from her. So, he’d slept in that tiny ass bed all night so she could have a good night’s rest without worrying about him pawing her in his sleep.
Really, he was shocked he’d reached for her. He’d been out cold, yet he’d known she was there, known she was his, wanted her closer. He would have to sleep in the spare room until she was ready for him to make love to her.
As he watched her lick the gravy from her full bottom lip, he was thankful for the table that covered his lower half and prayed to whoever was listening that that time came sooner rather than later.
Once they were both finished, Colton leapt up and gathered their plates before she could. That didn’t stop her from hurrying over and rinsing the dishes before he stacked them in the dishwasher.
“Whatcha wanna do today?” he asked, reaching for the dishtowel she held out to him.
“Whatever. Just let me know if I need to change,” she said, tilting her head back to look at him. Without those heels, she was so tiny.
Colton crossed his arms over his chest and leaned his hip against the counter. Shawnee stood there, her hands clasped in front of her, and waited for him to speak. Like an employee instead of a mate.
“You can have an opinion. We went over this last night. Let’s try it again…what do you want to do today?” He gave her a soft smile in hopes of disarming her.
A frown he’d yet to see between her brows appeared for about a half second then was gone. A few seconds went by and she shrugged. And looked kind of sad. “I don’t know.”
She didn’t know what she wanted to do? Or she didn’t know what she liked to do?
“We could go shopping. We could go hang out with Big River. We could just hang out here and watch movies. Anything.”
There was that little crease between her brows again. It lasted a whole two seconds this time before she schooled her face into a neutral expression. “I…I don’t know.”
She didn’t know what she liked to do. That had to be it. “Have you ever had the chance to choose? Like, has anyone ever just let you pick…anything?”
“No,” she said with a quick shake of her head. “Not my job. My job is to be pleasing and available. And I’m sorry about last night. It was your right to claim your mate and I ruined it.” Why the hell did it sound like she was reading from a script?
“It’s not your job to be a slave, Shawnee. You’re my mate. I’m your mate. It’s your job to just…be here. Eventually, we’ll mark each other and decide when we want to have cubs. For now, I just want to get to know you and I want you to get to know me. Like I said, I want us to be friends. I want the kind of pairing my parents had and I want my kids to have the life I had.”
As he spoke, he watched that façade melt away just a tad. Her eyes narrowed and it looked like she was chewing on the inside of her lip. It was the first time since he’d brought her home he’d seen her fidget.
“Movies,” she said after what seemed like forever.
“You want to watch some movies? Sounds good to me,” he said with a nod. “What are you in the mood for? Romance? Comedy? Action?”
Boom. Shut down. Okay. This was going to be a long road. He’d have to chisel away a little at a time at the bull shit she’d had drilled into her. She wasn’t his slave. She wasn’t his maid, his cook, or his arm candy. She was his mate. His Queen. The future mother of his children.
“No problem. We’ll watch a little of each and you tell me what you liked best. Trust me when I say, if I don’t have it, Reed Peterson from Big River will.”
That wolf had just about every movie Colton could think of. He’d whittled down his selection a tad after Grace was born, but he’d just put the movies on his laptop so he could still watch them whenever he wanted.
“I know Reed,” Shawnee said, her face a little more relaxed. He’d let her off the hook. He’d decided for her this once, but only so she’d figure out what she was into.
He gathered munchies from the cabinets, made some popcorn, then spread it all out on the coffee table positioned in front of the couch.
“We just ate,” she said, eyeing all the junk.
“This is just so we don’t have to get up as often. It’s called binge watching. Not for everyone, but it’s one of my favorite things to do when it’s rainy or too cold to be outside.”
“I thought bears like when it’s cold.”
“Not this bear,” Colton said, pulling a stack of movies from the organizer in the closet. “I freaking hate the cold. I end up sleeping away most days during the winter. I just Shift right here and slumber for hours at a time until Spring.”
“I like the cold,” she said, and then her eyes went a little wide as she looked at him. “I like the cold,” she repeated. “And snow. And when the leaves change colors.”
That was his girl. It was the first step in her breaking the chains of her forced training. He’d love to know more about what else she’d been told other than her main role was to be pleasing and available, but feared she’d just shut down again.
“I like the fall, too. It smells good. And it’s not humid,” he said, pulling the first movie out of its case and setting it into the Blu Ray player. Shawnee still stood; her hands were once again clasped in front of her. “Are you comfortable?” he asked.
“What?”
“Are you comfortable in those clothes?” He nodded at her body.
She looked down at herself. “You don’t like them?”
“Didn’t say that. You look really pretty. But I don’t plan on wearing anything but these boxers for the rest of the day. I want you comfortable, too.”
She looked down at her clothing again. “I like the skirt,” she said with a shrug. “My mom said the shirt makes me look thinner and more attractive.” A confession of sorts. She hadn’t chosen that shirt for herself. And who the hell would think she needed to look thinner? She was perfect. He loved her curves and couldn’t wait to see her naked.
“Take it off,” he said.
“What?” Her eyes were wide again but this time out of fear.
“Not here.” He winked at her. “Unless you want to. No. Go put on something comfortable, something you’d lounge around in the house if you were alone.”
“This is what I’d wear.” And he could almost hear her thinking the words pleasing and available again.
“Do you have some lounge clothes? Something you’d sleep in?”
“My night gown,” she admitted.
“Was it comfortable?”
“No.”
Colton blinked at her. She’d worn that for Colton last night. She’d worn it because she thought she was supposed to. She’d reapplied her makeup and redone her hair before he’d convinced her to take it all off. She’d slept in something uncomfortable because someone had convinced her she was supposed to be whatever her mate wanted her to be.
Anger burned his gut at whoever had done that to her head.
“Come on,” he said, taking her tiny hand in his and pulling her down the hall behind him. Once they were in his bedroom, he pulled open a drawer and grabbed a pair of his boxers and a t-shirt. They’d both be huge on her, but he wanted her to feel at home. He wanted her to be relaxed. And she’d admitted that shirt was restrictive.
“Those are yours,” she said, looking at them as he tried to hand them over.
“Now they’re yours. Nothing in this house is off limits to you. This is your home. Everything I own now belongs to you.”
She raised her eyes to his, and there were tears glistening there. When one rolled over her lashes, he raised his hand and brushed it away.
“I’m not sure why you’re crying, but please don’t. I only want to see happy tears in those beautiful eyes from now on. Got it?”
She nodded but didn’t speak.
Colton backed from the room and pulled the door closed behind him. And then he waited on the couch until he heard the door open
and her feet pad across the dark wood floor. He glanced over the back of the couch and his heart picked up its pace.
His shirt fell to her knees so it almost looked like she wasn’t wearing anything underneath. Her legs were muscular and smooth. And she’d apparently taken off her bra because her full breasts swayed and bounced with each step. Colton grabbed one of the pillows from the couch and put it on his lap to hide his raging boner at seeing her.
Shawnee tugged on the bottom hem as if trying to make it longer, then shrugged. “Better?”
“Shawneeeee,” he said with a bit of a whiney tone. “I think you’re gorgeous no matter what you wear. That is for you. Are you more comfortable? Is it better to you?”
For some reason, her cheeks went pink again when she shrugged then nodded. “I kind of like it,” she said. “Is that okay?”
Colton dropped his head against the couch with a frustrated growl. “Okay. Let me put this as bluntly as I can.” He pulled the pillow from his crotch and pointed. “Does that tell you anything?”
Her eyes lowered to his boner then raised back to his face. And then a smile pulled those pretty, kissable lips up. “You like it.”
“Duh,” he said, then jerked his head for her to join him. “For the first movie, we’re going to start with a musical. It’s an old classic redone with Anne Hathaway and Hugh Jackman. It’s called Les Miserable. If you get bored, let me know and I’ll turn it off and we’ll try something else.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why would you turn it off?”
“Uh, because I want to know what you like and don’t like. This is your day. We’ll consider it our honeymoon. We’ll just hang out all day, watch movies, eat like crap, and talk.”
“But the movie will be on,” she said as she lowered onto the couch, her legs straight in front of her, her hands folded in her lap.
“Rule number one,” he said, and watched as she tensed. Aaaand he found himself wanting to beat the piss out of whoever did this. “Relax. Curl your legs up onto the couch. Slouch. Whatever. Stop being so stiff.”
He leaned back, legs spread, feet on the coffee table, and hit play. It took a few minutes, but, eventually, she pulled her feet up and under her and leaned against the arm rest. Okay. Getting somewhere.
About halfway through the movie, he heard a sniffle. Shit. She was crying.
“You okay?”
“Why would you want to watch a sad movie?”
“You’ve never seen this?”
“I haven’t seen a lot of movies. My first mate hated when there were females around during TV time because he said we made too much noise. And I didn’t have a TV in Tammen.”
Mother. Fucker. Two men he now hated.
But he realized there was more than one reason he hated them. The biggest reason was someone had her before him. He wished he’d been the first to meet her. Maybe then she wouldn’t be so worried about being a disappointment.
“You want to keep watching?” he asked, holding up the remote.
“Does it get happier?”
“Nope.”
“Will you get mad if I say no?”
Colton dropped his head with a sigh. “New rule. No asking if I’ll get mad. Literally the only thing that will make me mad is if you say you hate the Blues or the Cardinals.”
She raised her brows in confusion.
“Blues are our hockey team and the Cardinals are our baseball team,” he answered her questioning look.
“I’ve never watched either of them, so I have no idea if I hate them or not.”
“Then we’re good. And you’re totally watching a Cards game this summer. Maybe we’ll even go downtown for a home game.”
Her ruddy brows pulled together but there was a confused smile on her face.
“Okay,” she finally said.
“Okay. Now. New movie.” He turned off Les Mis and searched through his selection until he came across the only romance he owned. And that was only because Reed bought it for him last Christmas and demanded he watch it. Which he did. And kind of liked.
Halfway through that movie, Shawnee finally leaned forward and pulled the bowl of popcorn onto her lap, her eyes riveted to the screen. “She’s pretty,” she said almost to herself.
“Yep.”
“I like her hair,” she said.
“Me, too. I’ve always liked that look. It’s classy and sexy without being too…I don’t know. Revealing.”
Colton saw Shawnee look down at her borrowed clothes for a second. If she liked those kinds of clothes, he’d take her shopping wherever she wanted to go. As long as it was what she wanted.
They finished The Notebook and Colton looked to Shawnee to see what she thought. “I liked that one. It was kind of sad at the end, but the rest was really sweet.”
Okay. She liked romance. Or at least she liked that kind of romance. He didn’t have any others of that genre, so they’d have to rummage through Reed’s movies next time they were in Big River.
The next movie he grabbed was Raiders of the Lost Ark. He had no idea whether she’d like an action flick, but she didn’t know what she liked, either. He’d go through every genre until she decided which was her fave. Hell, he’d do this with her every day until she was tired of it.
About twenty minutes in, she switched positions until she was leaned more toward him. She grabbed a pillow and hugged it to her chest. Even when she reached forward and grabbed a bag of chips, she never looked away from the screen. She was definitely into the movie.
When it was over and the credits rolled, Shawnee turned her head to him with a big smile. “I really liked that one,” she said. “Do you have more like that one?”
“I have one more type I want to play and see if you’re into it.” He removed the disk and slipped in the original Friday the 13th from nineteen eighty. If Reed had any idea what they were doing for the day, he would’ve demanded he be there to educate. The wolf loved movies.
As the movie played on, Shawnee slowly crept closer to Colton until she was squeezing his bicep in her hands. She jumped in certain scenes, and did this thing where she covered her eyes but still peeked through her open fingers. It was the cutest fucking thing he’d ever seen.
“Okay. I really liked that one, too,” she said with another wide grin when the movie was over.
His girl was an action and horror chick. Too fucking cool.
Shawnee was still smiling up at Colton when he turned his head down to tell her he had more movies like that one. And then their faces were just inches apart. Their lips were inches apart. Her smile faltered and her eyes took on the slightest glow. He could smell her arousal.
Moving slowly so she had the chance to pull away, he touched his lips to hers, just a gentle caress. Her lips were as sweet and soft as they looked. Instead of pulling away, she molded around him, kissing him back.
As much as he wanted to part his lips and taste her, Colton pulled back and leaned his forehead against hers. He needed to touch her, feel her, but this was all he’d allow himself until he was one hundred percent sure she was on board and wasn’t doing what she felt was her duty.
“Want more?” he asked. He’d meant more movies.
She misunderstood him.
“Yes,” she said, her eyes still glowing as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.
And damn it all, he couldn’t make himself stop her.
Chapter Three
For the first time in her life, Shawnee felt in control. Maybe not fully, but Colton was giving her choices, from the clothes she donned to the movies he played. And now, he was letting her take what she wanted from him.
When he’d kissed her, she’d realized for the first time…she’d wanted it. She wanted his lips against hers. She wanted to feel him pressed against her. When he didn’t yank her forward or shove her backward to take her hard and fast like her first mate, she leaned against him until her breasts were pressed against his arm. Only then did he turn so they were
chest to chest.
His arms were so strong and warm as they snaked around her back, yet she didn’t feel caged in. He wasn’t squeezing her. He was holding her. He didn’t push any further. He was letting her take her time. He was letting her set the pace.
Shawnee parted her lips and touched her tongue to the seam of his mouth. His mouth opened and then they were exploring each other as the kiss deepened. There was something about Colton that made her feel…strong. Wanted. Desired. He didn’t make her feel like she was only useful for one thing. He actually wanted her opinion, wanted to get to know her. It was a heady feeling.
Lifting her arms, she caressed his jaw with one hand and wrapped the other around his neck, pulling him closer. She really, really liked kissing Colton. It didn’t hurt that he was so good at it.
After a few seconds, Shawnee pulled back and stared into Colton’s eyes. His pretty brown eyes had a glow behind the irises. At least she knew he was into it.
“Wow,” he breathed out, his eyes a little wide.
“What?” Well, now she felt self-conscious.
Shawnee pulled her arms from Colton and scooted back until she was on a separate cushion.
“That was by far the best kiss I’ve ever had.”
“Oh,” she said, then felt her lips pull up into a smile. “Me, too.” She sucked her lips into her mouth and stared at him for a moment. “Want to do it again?”
His brows popped up to his hairline, he nodded, then leaned toward her, his hands outstretched. Shawnee leaned into his touch, but a hard knock on the door snapped them out of their little lust stupor. For a while, she’d forgotten the outside world existed. His log cabin had become a bubble for her, protecting her from outside judgement.
“Yeah?” he called out, shaking his head with a sly grin on his face. “Don’t go anywhere,” he whispered to her with a wink.