by Lynn Howard
“Well…everything you do is hot,” he said, standing and grabbing their glasses and carrying them to the couch.
“Even this?” she said, twisting her face up and crossing her eyes.
Colton tossed his head back and laughed, the sound deep and warm. Her eyes still burned from the tears, but the rest of her, deep down in her heart and soul, was happy. She could play with Colton, tease him, make ugly faces, and he still wanted her, still found her attractive, still loved her.
Shawnee opened her mouth to bring his declaration up but decided against it and snapped her mouth shut. She’d never said those three words to another person and, even though she was digging deep to find her courage, she wasn’t quite brave enough to utter them now.
Colton piled the new pillows into the corner and leaned against them, holding his arm up when she plopped down beside him. She leaned into his side, using his chest as a pillow while her arm wrapped around to his side. With one of his arms draped on the armrest, he held her close with the other.
Neither of them made it to the end of the movie. Shawnee hadn’t slept well the night before and had worn herself out with her crying jag. And she’d woken Colton up at dawn. They were both whipped.
Shawnee woke as Colton carried her down the hallway to their bedroom, her head resting against his shoulder. She was barely conscious as he laid her on the bed, the mattress shaking beneath her as he crawled in beside her, then pulled the blankets over both of them.
Just as sleep dragged her under, she felt his lips on her temple and heard him whisper in her ear, “I love you, mate.”
Chapter Eight
Shawnee sat on the front porch and waited for Colton to come home from work. He’d bought her a new cell phone three weeks ago so she could text or call him if she needed anything. It was her first phone. Her first time she’d had anything that was all hers. Of course, she’d wished she’d been able to purchase it for herself, but without a phone, there was no way anyone could call her for an interview, which meant no money…which translated to not being able to buy a phone on her own.
After programming his number into her phone, Colton had programmed each of the Blackwater guys and every single member of the Big River Pack. She’d drummed up the courage to text Nova the first day Colton went back to work after she’d had a phone. Since that day, she’d been in contact with all the women from Big River and even Emory. She felt like a normal woman doing normal things and building a life with her man.
Now, she had some really cool news. And she swore the day had dragged by slower than any other day in her freaking life.
The rumble of trucks met Shawnee’s ears. She jumped to her feet and climbed down the stairs, wringing her hands in front of her with nervous energy. Or maybe it was excited energy. Either way…he needed to hurry down that driveway before she took off running to meet him halfway.
Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, Carter’s truck came into view, followed by Colton’s. They’d originally ridden together, cramming into one of the guy’s trucks. But Colton liked to be able to come and go as he needed. Shawnee knew the real reason was so he could jump and run if Shawnee needed him. It was sweet, but unnecessary. She’d been fine since she’d come to Blackwater.
They’d only gone into public twice more since the Target incident. And she hadn’t seen any other members of her family Pride. Even if she had, she’d planned a number of comebacks in case anyone had anything else to say about her body, her new clothing, or her mate.
Shawnee raised her hand and waved when Colton came into view. He lifted a two-finger wave and smiled wide at her. She jogged toward his truck and practically threw herself into his arms the second he stepped onto the gravel.
“Miss me?” he teased, kissing her hard before pulling away.
“I’ve got the best news,” she said, her words ending on a squeal as he spun her in a circle and then lowered her to her feet. He kept his hands on her shoulders until she was steady.
“Other than I’m home?”
He threw an arm around her and led her to their porch, removing his black hat and setting it on the top step as he sat. He pulled Shawnee onto his lap. “Tell me.”
“I got offered a job,” she said in a rush.
“That’s awesome. Where?”
“Moe’s.”
Colton blinked at her a few times, glanced over at his Clan brothers, who were shaking their heads, then back to Shawnee. “Moe’s. As in, Noah’s bar?”
“Yep.”
“Noah offered you a job?”
“Yep. He said he’s tired of playing waitress and offered me the job. Said I’d get paid an hourly and could keep all the tips. I’ve never worked. He knows that. He said he’ll teach me everything I need to know.” He wasn’t smiling. Wasn’t nodding in agreement. “Why don’t you look happy for me?”
Colton blinked rapidly, as if coming out of a stupor. “No. I am. I just…Moe’s? You realize that place is crawling with asshole Shifters.”
“Uh. Yeah. You guys go there all the time, remember?” she said in an attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy mood.
“Ha ha. So funny.”
Shawnee climbed off Colton’s lap and stood a step below so they could be eye level for once. “I thought you’d be happy for me. You know how hard I’ve been trying to find a job.”
“Of course I’m happy for you. It’s just…what if someone from Horine comes in? What if I’m not there?”
Well, wasn’t that a slap in the face. “You don’t think I can handle myself?”
“You know I do. Don’t put words in my mouth.”
Colton shocked the crap out of her when he stood, snatched his hat from the porch, and headed into the house.
“Where are you going? I’m not done talking about this,” she said, chasing after him.
“Neither am I. But those two nosey asses are hanging onto our every word,” Colton said, turning and pointing at his Clan brothers, who were, indeed, leaning against Carter’s porch and watching as Colton and Shawnee argued.
Colton waited until Shawnee was through the door and closed it behind her. He set his hat on the kitchen table and pushed his fingers through is hair. “I can’t protect you while you’re at Moe’s, Shawnee.”
“One: Noah will be there. Do you really think he’d let anything happen to your mate? Two: Why do you automatically think the worst will happen? And three: I can protect myself, Colton. I’m a Shifter, just like you.”
“And up until four weeks ago, you were afraid of your own shadow. You can’t shut down just because someone insults you or because some asshole from Horine shows up and makes fun of you.”
It felt as if she’d been slapped. Colton had constantly told her how strong she was and how proud of her he was. Apparently, it had all been just words. He didn’t think she was strong enough to be on her own. He didn’t think she was strong enough to be in the world without him.
As tears burned the back of her eyes, Shawnee resisted the urge to scream her outrage, and instead stomped down the hall to the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
How much of what he’d said to her, what he’d told her, had all been bull shit? How much of it had been lies to make her feel like he cared? Was he just like the rest of the men in her life and scamming her to keep her from wanting to leave?
Behind the closed door, she let the tears of frustration pour down her face, angrily swiping at them as they dripped from her chin.
She’d thought she’d finally found someone who truly believed in her, truly saw her. But Colton still saw her as weak, still saw her as broken. Yeah. It would take more than a few weeks to fully find herself after a lifetime of being beaten down, but the light at the end of the tunnel seemed so much more approachable with him at her side.
He wasn’t at her side. He’d positioned himself a step ahead of her. Why the hell should she stay hidden in the room crying? He should see the pain his words caused her.
Lunging from the end of the bed, she grabbe
d the doorknob and yanked the door open. And ran straight into Colton’s chest as he leaned each hand on the frame, his head hanging low.
“Sorry,” he said, lifting only his eyes.
“I’m not weak, dammit. I know I’m not like Nova or Emory or Callie. But I’m strong. Or I’m getting stronger. And I can’t be like them if you keep me hidden behind you all the time. I have to learn to stand on my own feet.
“I know,” he said, his words hoarse with emotion. No tears shimmered in his eyes, but she could hear the pain in the gravelly tone of his voice.
Shawnee snapped her mouth shut. She hadn’t been prepared for that. She’d gotten herself worked up and ready for a fight. His acquiescence startled her enough to take a step back. Was this a trick?
“I keep saying how strong you are. How brave you are. Then I turn around and say you can’t protect yourself. I’m sorry.”
Blinking up at Colton, she wracked her brain for something to say. A part of her tried to revert back to her old ways. She was tempted to drop her eyes and nod along, letting him know he was fully off the hook, regardless of how she felt. But that wasn’t her anymore.
“I want to work at Moe’s. I think I’ll do a good job,” she said, crossing her arms over herself in a protective manner.
“I know you will. And I’m happy for you.” He pushed off the door and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Noah was smart to hire you. And I promise I’ll try to dial down the whole caveman thing. I just…I can’t stand the thought of anything happening to you. I can’t even stand the thought that I caused those tears,” he said, dipping his head toward her face.
“Nothing will happen to me,” she said, scrubbing both hands down her cheeks. “Even if someone from Horine did show up, Noah will be there. And Big River goes there all the time. Nova said she and the girls go for breakfast or lunch a few times a week. I’m not naïve, Colton. I know I’m not some big, mean scrapper. But I have an animal inside of me, just like you.” Even if her lioness had become submissive at Shawnee’s hands. “And you said I have a new family now. Families protect each other. Right?”
“Right,” he said, his dark brows pulled together.
“I’ll be fine. And, maybe after I make some money, I can buy you something nice. Like a new cowboy hat.”
“What’s wrong with the one I have now?” he asked, a fake pout on his face.
This was better. This was who they’d become. She much preferred the playful Colton over the possessive, protective Colton. Not that she didn’t appreciate the face he wanted to keep her safe. But he couldn’t say one thing and do the complete opposite. He couldn’t tell her she was strong then treat her like she was weak and fragile.
“I just want to buy my mate pretty things,” she said with a shrug.
Colton’s smile was slow as his lips pulled up. He reached for her and cupped her face. “I think you’re strong. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel otherwise.”
“Thank you,” she said, and lifted her head for a kiss.
****
Noah told Shawnee to come at ten in the morning. He felt the slower shift would be easier to train her. Unfortunately, Colton mentioned it to Reed. Reed, in turn, told his mate. And now, Nova, Lola, Callie, and the newcomer Peyton, were all sitting at a table, waiting for her to take their order.
“Is this the part where I demand to speak to the manager?” Nova asked.
“Why the hell would you do that?” Noah asked in his burly tone.
“Because your waitress looks too terrified to come take our order,” Nova said, winking at Shawnee as she tried to balance a tray full of water glasses.
They hadn’t ordered water. But Noah wanted her to get used to the heavy tray. So, she had to carry them to every table she waited on, at least for the first few hours.
Her eyes were wide as she slowly made her way over to the Big River women, eying the sloshing glasses. If she dropped this tray in front of everyone, she’d hide in the backroom until they left.
Ha! She did it. With a wide smile, she bent her knees and set a glass of iced water in front of each woman. But she knew she’d have to do the whole thing over again when they ordered something different to drink.
“He being nice to you?” Callie asked with a jerk of her head toward Noah, who was filling the cooler with bottles of beer.
Shawnee looked over her shoulder at Noah. He raised one brow. “Oh. Yeah. Of course.”
“Probably doesn’t want Colton coming in here acting a fool,” Nova said, batting her lashes at Noah. “Noah runs a respectable business, after all.”
“Keep running that mouth,” Noah said, turning his back on the women.
The girls told Shawnee their order as she scribbled onto a pad Noah had given her. She made sure to repeat it back, terrified she’d mess everything up with her first customers ever. When the food was done, she piled it onto the tray, and balanced it carefully to carry it all over to her friends.
Success. She’d gotten over the first hurdle of her new career with no hiccups. The girls said their orders were perfect and the food was good. Not that she’d had anything to do with the cooking. But still. She felt good about herself.
Colton checked on her around two, sending her a text reminding her how proud he was and that she was a rock star. Damn straight she was. She had her first job ever, and while it might not have been glamourous, she felt awesome.
Of course, that high feeling faded a little around the time everyone got off work and piled into Moe’s. She was running around like crazy, trying to keep up with everyone’s orders.
“Maybe if she dropped a few pounds, her ass could move faster,” a Shifter from the back said with a snicker.
Shawnee’s first instinct was to drop her eyes and apologize for not being better. But her second was to keep her head high, look that asshat square in the eyes, and say, “Maybe if you tipped better, I’d get to you faster.”
“Ohhh!” a few men called after her.
“You doing okay?” Noah asked when she sidled up to the bar to fill another order.
“Yep.”
“If that fucker says anything else, let me know.”
“Why? You going to call Colton to my rescue?” Her hackles were already raised from the jerk’s insult. She didn’t need her Clan brother, aka her new freaking boss, to think she needed her mate to save the day.
“No. I was going to kick his ass out. I can’t stand him. That’ll just give me a good excuse.”
“Oh.” Shawnee raised her brows and smiled apologetically for jumping down Noah’s throat.
It was close to six o’clock when Colton, Carter, and Luke sauntered through the door. Saunter wasn’t the right term; Colton threw the door open so hard it hit the wall, and was instantly seeking her out.
“I’m about to ban all mated fucking males,” Noah said as he rounded the bar to survey the damage. “You’re lucky there’s no hole, Colton.”
Colton didn’t respond to Noah. Just crossed the room and pulled Shawnee into his arms.
“Whoa!” she said, trying to keep the tray balanced on her hand.
Colton pulled away, grabbed the tray from her hand, set it on the table beside them, then pulled her toward him again, planting a hard kiss on her lips. And the room fell away, just like every other time Colton kissed her like that.
Whistles and catcalls erupted around the room. Shawnee pulled back with a gasp as reality slammed into her. Shoot. Turning with a bit of panic, she checked to see Noah’s reaction. Other than a frustrated shake of his head, he didn’t do or say anything else. For some reason, she’d half expected him to fire her for her overt public display.
“I’ve got to get to work. Sit down. I’ll be over in a second,” she said to Colton as she rushed off, her cheeks burning.
“Sorry about that,” she said to Noah when she went to the bar to grab a bucket of beers for her mate and new Clan.
“Used to it. Here,” he said, handing her the heavy container. He didn’t even have
to ask what his brothers wanted; they were in there enough he had it memorized. “And the back table is trying to wave you down.”
With a quick nod, she delivered the beer to Colton’s table, squealed when he slapped her on the ass, and jogged to the back table. And skidded to a stop. When had they come in? She didn’t seem them pass. Didn’t sense them.
“Hi,” she said to her brothers as they scowled at her. Brendan’s eyes ran over her from head to toe, a look of disgust plain as day all over his face.
“So, it’s true,” Brendan said.
“What?” Her heart was beginning to race and her palms were damp. How the hell was she supposed to keep from dropping the tray if her freaking hands got slippery with sweat?
“Mother got a call from Tonya Schroeder. She said she’d seen you in public looking like trash.” His eyes dropped to her new jeans and tennis shoes. “What the hell are you wearing?”
A chair scraped against the floor and Shawnee knew without looking that Colton had stood and was probably on his way over. Holding her hand behind her back, she held her palm out, hoping Colton figured out she was trying to tell him to stay back. She had to handle this on her own. These two men were no threat; they were her older brothers, for God’s sake. Not that Colton knew that. She had no intention of introducing them to each other. Not tonight. Maybe not ever.
“What did you want to drink?” Shawnee asked, turning to the younger of her two big brothers, Jason.
“Bud Select.” Jason’s eyes flicked over her shoulder. “I take it the big guy glaring at us is your new mate. Heard he’s a bear.”
“He is,” she said, raising her head a little more. There was no way they could make her feel ashamed of her mate. He was better than any man she knew. Definitely better than any lion she knew. “What did you want to drink, Brendan?”
“Just bring us a bucket. We’ll be here a while.” His smile was full of malice and something else. Hate? Did he actually hate her? She was their baby sister. They were supposed to protect her.