by Abby Lee
‘Turn around,’ he said hoarsely, and pushed my hands up against the back wall. I leaned over the cistern and braced myself. With barely inches to spare in the cubicle, he entered me from behind and thrust as much as was possible – which wasn’t much.
It didn’t take long – he was way too worked up – but it was fun while it lasted.
Even though I forgot to ask what his name was.
Sunday 17th April
Things I recall about last night:
⋆ Eating a lovely meal cooked by Franklin
⋆ Laughing as I spilt red wine on my top
⋆ Making a joke about using my tongue to scoop out the inside of a Creme egg
⋆ Drinking glass after glass of red wine
⋆ Downing two double shots of absinthe
⋆ Playing footsie under the table with Franklin
⋆ Seeing Kathy and her boyfriend smoking cigarettes in the garden through the living room window, as Franklin sat there, hard cock in his hand and said to me, ‘Suck my cock. Please. Suck it. Now.’
⋆ Kathy and her boyfriend going to bed
⋆ Franklin and I knocking everything off the kitchen table as we kissed
⋆ Us moving to the couch
⋆ His fingers inside me
⋆ Me climaxing
⋆ Putting a condom on him
⋆ Him fucking me from behind
⋆ Me running to the bathroom to vomit violently
⋆ His fingers in my arse
⋆ Me climaxing again
⋆ Me attempting to put a condom on him, but he already had one on
⋆ Him fucking me up the arse
⋆ Me begging him to ‘fuck me harder’ as I held onto the arms of the couch
⋆ Me climaxing again – hard
⋆ Waking up with the sunlight burning my eyelids and him smiling at me
⋆ Having the most intense, pulverising, agonising pain in my head
⋆ Rubbing my hands over his cock as I tried to get him to slip it in between my legs
⋆ Falling asleep again
⋆ Upon waking, telling him that I felt I had to explain why I’d had anal sex with him: Because I had only done it with Steven before
That I was in love with Steven at the time and therefore it was a special, intimate thing for me
That I had only done it a couple of times
That I was amazed that the alcohol had made me so enthusiastic about Franklin doing it
That I was going to write about it in my diary, to try to understand why I had done something so intimate with someone I hardly knew
Things I don’t recall:
⋆ How I got all the bruises on my arms and legs
⋆ Whether or not I sucked Franklin’s cock at the table
⋆ Taking off my own or his clothes, but leaving my stockings on
⋆ Sucking his cock
⋆ Playing with his cock
⋆ Him licking me
⋆ What he felt like inside me
⋆ Whether he climaxed
⋆ How many times this happened and when I blacked out
⋆ How long we had sex for
Things I regret:
⋆ Drinking so much. Never again will I: Drink one and a half bottles of red wine
Drink two doubles of absinthe
Mix wine and absinthe
⋆ Not remembering the events of the night
⋆ Not knowing whether he climaxed
⋆ Doing something as intimate as anal with someone I had no feelings for
⋆ Shagging him under the influence
⋆ Ruining Kathy’s lovely white tablecloth with red wine
Things I am pleased about:
⋆ That my worries about Franklin not being able to get it up were totally wrong. Which is nice for him.
Thursday 21st April
I’ve been away the last few days, having a quick break with Fiona down at her mum’s flat in Devon. It’s been wonderful.
⋆ The sun shone
⋆ The air was fresh
⋆ The green hills were lush
⋆ And the orgasm I had whilst sitting in the middle of a field was a real mindblower
Not that it was premeditated. I just wanted to go for a refreshing walk to clear my head and breathe in some oxygen after all that London grime. The last thing on my mind was outdoor masturbation in broad daylight.
It all started off so well. I strolled lazily along the beach, sinking into the soft sand and getting an eyeful of the rolling waves. I climbed the dunes and surveyed the surroundings: green hills behind me, the ocean in front of me, clear blue skies above. I turned away from the sea and followed a little path that led between the fields and discovered a bench on it with a view of some charming thatched cottages in one direction and the dunes and the bay beyond it in the other …
The sun beat down on me and the wind ruffled my hair and I could hear the sound of a buzzard overhead looking for prey. It was heavenly. I felt relaxed. I felt calm. I felt … horny.
I tried to ignore it, hoping it would go away if I focussed on the view rather than the pulse between my legs. No luck. All I saw was sex: when I looked at the fields, I imagined sitting on top of a guy, riding him, our nakedness contrasting with the lush greenness; when I looked at the ocean, I imagined being shoulder deep in the water, my legs wrapped around a guy’s hips, his cock plunging into me; when I looked at the sand dunes, I imagined a guy standing before me, his jeans undone, me on my knees, his dick in my mouth.
I sat there on my bench and my pussy throbbed. Something had to be done – and fast. I unzipped my jeans, slid my hand between my legs, and – not caring who could see me on this little country lane – frigged myself into oblivion. A minute later I had an explosive climax.
Job done I sat back and watched nature carrying on its business: the buzzard gave up the hunt and disappeared into the distance, the waves kept on pounding the shore, the sun went on shining. I felt blessed. I felt alive. There’s nothing like an alfresco wank in a beauty spot – call it getting in touch with Mother Nature.
Monday 25th April
Three things I really must remember the next time I go jogging in my local park:
Take three Ibruprofen at least an hour before exercising because having painful period cramps during a run is no fun. (Note, I continued on regardless, such is my dedication to having sculpted muscular thighs.)
Make sure iPod batteries are fully charged before leaving the house. Halfway into the run you need music, not 20 minutes with silent headphones just when fatigue is kicking in. It’s somehow more difficult to run without The Departure blaring in my ears.
Ensure all randiness is dealt with prior to leaving the house. It’s annoying to require a fiddle while running at speed across an open space. (And no, there was not going to be any more outdoors daylight frigging: it’s one thing to be masturbating on a country lane in the middle of nowhere; it’s an entirely different matter doing it in a London park.)
N.B. At least I always go for a wee first. I’m no Paula Radcliffe. I am a lady.
Friday 29th April
Met up with Blog Boy this evening. It was the first time we’d seen each other since he asked to keep things strictly platonic. I knew when I made the date that it was going to be tough, and I was right. I spent most of the evening trying not to fancy him. The problem is that he has presented so many good qualities for inspection so far:
⋆ Good -looking guy – check
⋆ Intelligent – check
⋆ Funny – check
⋆ Thoughtful – check
⋆ Interesting – check
⋆ Fun to be with – check
⋆ Tall – check
⋆ Sexy – check
⋆ Large hands – check
⋆ Good kisser – double check
It’s like a switch has been flicked in my brain, and now I can’t see him as just a friend. That’s all he wants though, so I have no choice but to try to relate to him on that level
.
When we chatted over dinner tonight, it took all of my concentration to focus on NOT staring dreamily into his eyes; it was a struggle for me NOT to touch his hand as I laughed at his jokes; and it took all my resolve NOT to peek at the blond fuzz (or at least, not a second time) curling out of the top of his shirt and think about running my fingers through it …
When we said goodbye to each other and I leaned in to peck him goodnight on the cheek, I had to muster all my strength to stop myself moving my lips closer to his and kissing him properly.
But I did it. And he did too. We both behaved well – as friends, you might say – and I’m hoping that we can continue to build on this and develop a really good friendship now. I think he’s a top bloke and I look forward to getting to know him some more.
Though I shan’t be telling him that I keep trying to imagine what he looks like naked. At least, not yet.
The Girl’s Top Ten Guide to Chatting Someone Up
1 Get visual of subject in sight. Try not to drool over their sexiness
2 Check for wedding ring on finger; then check for tan-line of removed ring. If nothing’s there, you are free to go ahead. Unless they use a tanning salon, in which case you’re screwed
3 Smile at them; don’t grimace: you are being friendly, not showing off expensive dental treatment
4 Give direct eye contact. Try not to stare. Or to let your eyes wander over their crotch/breasts
5Introduce yourself, offer your hand out and shake theirs with confidence. Do not give a bone-crushing grip, or a wet-fish. Be firm and friendly
6 Find out about the other person, ask them questions. People are essentially arrogant and love to talk about themselves: use this to your advantage and feign interest if necessary – they’ll find you even more attractive if you listen well
7 Build a rapport. I recommend the two-tier method:
a) Verbal: agree with them as much as possible.1 The key is making them feel that you have something in common with them, even if it is just empathy2
b) Physical: not in the first instance, sexual.3 Use body language – mirror their movements and behaviour. If your body matches theirs, unconsciously they will feel more attracted to you.
8 Once rapport is built, and some time has passed, drop the question. I recommend something similar to the following: ‘I hope I’m not being too forward here; I was wondering if you would like to go out for a drink with me sometime?’
9 Be prepared for one of the following responses:
a) They laugh at or ignore you
b) They run away
c) They smile awkwardly and then make an excuse and leave hurriedly
d) They say ‘Thank you, I would love to say “yes”, and if I was single I definitely would.’
e) They say ‘Thank you, that would be lovely, when did you have in mind?’
10
If it was a ‘no’ do not allow any embarrassment you might feel to get the better of you. Although rejected, and shag/meaningful encounter-less, at least you put yourself out there, and took a risk: life is too short to let opportunities pass you by. Plus, you boosted someone’s ego and made them feel good, which is always a nice thing to do. Even if they do suspect that you went home and wanked about them later
5
May
Sunday 1st May
Franklin sounded subdued when he called: ‘I thought you would have phoned me by now.’
I hesitated. ‘Sorry. I wanted to.’ But didn’t want to give you the wrong idea.
‘You wanted to?’
‘Yeah. But I felt kinda weird after being so drunk.’ I delayed calling you because I was worried that you might be too into it.
‘So, you regret that night, then?’
‘No, no, not at all. It was great.’ What I could remember anyway, but I do regret drinking so much and feeling like I was out of control. I scared myself doing anal with you: it was something sacred and special that I shared with Steven. Doing it with you made me miss him.
‘So you really don’t remember much?’
‘Not really, but I do remember enjoying myself. A lot.’ I wish I could recall what your cock looked and felt like; what a tragic waste to have been too drunk to remember.
‘I had fun too, but I remember everything.’
‘Really? Would you mind answering me some questions then?’ Oh God, this is going to sound so offensive.
‘Go ahead.’
‘Um. Right. When we sat at the kitchen table and the others were across the room, you had your cock in your hand, yeah?’ I remember how much that turned me on; you telling me to ‘Suck it.’
‘Yup.’
‘Did I suck it?’ If I did I am such a slut.
‘You most certainly did.’
‘Wow.’ I am such a slut.
‘You leaned over the table and gave me some fucking great head, actually.’
‘Oh, thanks.’ Jesus, Kathy was ten feet away and I was sucking a penis at her dining room table. How uncivilised of me.
‘It was lovely.’
‘Did we have sex for long?’ I remember throwing up, passing out and having three orgasms, but not what your cock felt like inside me.
‘A couple of hours, I guess. You really don’t remember, do you?’
‘Sadly no. Um, look I have to ask you, did you come?’ I remember our using condoms; I don’t recall you pumping yourself into me.
‘Ha ha, yes, twice. You were fucking hot, I can tell you. You really fucking turned me on.’
‘Thanks. I’m glad to hear you had fun too.’ Thank fuck for that, I was feeling very guilty that I was the only one pleasured that night.
‘Fun? Abby, let me tell you, doing anal with you was fucking amazing, I had a lot of fun.’
‘It was great for me too.’ It scared me how much I begged you to do it.
‘Actually, Abby, I feel honoured that I was your second. Especially now that I know that it’s a special thing for you.’
‘Thanks.’ My head has been in a mess trying to figure out how I could do something like that with someone I have no feelings for.
‘You were my first actually.’
‘Your first? I thought you said you’d done it before? You certainly seemed experienced in it.’ There’s no way my arse could have been fucked like that by an anal virgin.
‘Not in anal.’
‘What then?’ Oh dear, I think I know.
‘You were my first since the break-up.’
‘Oh. I didn’t know. I’m sorry.’ Liar.
‘Yeah, it was a big deal for me, actually.’
‘Really? I didn’t know that.’ Liar liar pants on fire.
‘My head was all messed up after that night, I suppose it is fair to say.’
‘I bet. It must have been tough for you.’ Oh fuck. I didn’t want to be the rebound one. Fuck.
‘And I thought we had got on really well. So I was confused when I didn’t hear from you.’
‘We did get on well. We had lots of fun. I didn’t contact you straight away because I am in a weird place right now and I am not sure what I want.’ I didn’t call you because when we woke up, you smiled at me, and pulled me close, and stroked my hair. And when you looked in my eyes, I saw a longing that terrified me. You were so affectionate and caring and loving and it all felt wrong after knowing you for less than 24 hours. And it reminded me of what it is that I want and I felt hollow and empty inside knowing that I didn’t want this with you. I don’t want to be the replacement for your ex, just because you are hurting; I can’t be. I had to make sure you weren’t going to get attached to me, so I was letting some time pass until I felt it was safe to call.
‘Me too. I am all mixed up. Not sure what I am doing right now.’
‘So listen, it doesn’t need to be a bad thing. We had a good time, right? We get on well. We don’t need to be a headfuck for each other when we can have a laugh instead.’ If you weren’t freshly out of a long-term relationship and heartbroken, I would consider you as
Potential Boyfriend Material, but for my own emotional safety I am making sure you remain a goodnatured one-night stand. Though I wouldn’t mind having another go, sober.
‘Yeah. Perhaps we could meet up next week, or something?’
‘OK, let’s speak then.’ If only you could be a fuck-buddy, then it would be fine, but when you’re pining for her, fucking me is only going to hurt us both.
‘And I feel honoured you let me fuck you up the arse; it was truly magnificent.’
‘Ta, luv. It was pretty damn great for me too.’ Though my arse cheeks were sore for two days afterwards.
Thursday 5th May
How to be political:
⋆ Wear an ironic protest-vote ‘Backing Blair’ t-shirt. Combine with a denim mini-skirt, black hold-up stockings and leather ankle boots with a four-inch heel.
⋆ Be aware that random strangers will stop you in the street/park/pub and ask you questions about the general election.
⋆ Make sure that you have prepared your arguments about the benefits of a hung Parliament or a small Labour majority. Be ready to challenge the myth about the Tories getting in.
⋆ Ask how the other person is going to vote. Be enthused about protesting and explain the concept clearly.
⋆ Ignore them looking at your tits/legs/arse, even if they’re fanciable.
⋆ See that you are winning them over to your side. Have confidence that your argument has possibly inspired one more person to get out and vote.